BETWEEN YOU HE AND ME
the arrival of the priest
"ba" call me when I enter the room, fortunately my husband first entered the room, if he met the children first can misunderstand definitely. "ba"
"what the hell from earlier calling is not clear, I want to shower tau" he said a little grumbling.
"in front there is a father of children" I told my husband.
"does she mean?" she asked him directly to face me.
"ihhh, abba" I grumbled "there's my ex-husband outside"
"haah" didn't realize she wasn't wearing "masa's shirt? Coming when?"
"i don't know" I answered
"do you know?" ask her to investigate
"yes I don't know" I answered to defend my argument
"got to say that?" ask her
"maybe to the teteh kali ba, I'm not ngeh" I replied "let me rebuke him, now meet the person first"
"the abba?" ask her "yes, huh"
"on my own, I haven't taken a shower" I replied
"want to look beautiful to see your ex?" ask her
"what the hell" I went straight into the bathroom. Out the bathroom turned out she was out, I rushed to meet the father of my children actually males but how else, I need to be able to throw away my past and my future right now.
I saw my husband chatting with his father's children, I approached them with warm tea, because since my husband came home I have not served his favorite warm tea.
"please get her tea" I offered the tea I made, I sat down next to my husband.
"thank you" he replied.
"gold when is coming?" ask me
"since about 10:00 am" he replied "sorry not to disturb, I just want to meet the children. Sorry also did not tell you yan, about him I came directly here"
"ga apa2 mas" answered me. "make me right to meet the children, I never separate you from the children mas"
"eemm a sorry" my husband interrupted my conversation and my ex-husband, he knows maybe I'm still saving the pain on his "a if aa, want to take the children to the street please. We can still be partners in parenting children. Staying children is a priority lest they feel we are not attentive to him. Sorry also a, if we are here always busy working because we have our own obligations."
"there's nothing" my ex-husband replied "I thank you for being the father of my children, I know you love them too, proof they're comfortable with there's a akang in their middle."
"i only help my wife" answered my husband "in terms of parenting children"
"i'm sure they're comfortable with the new dad now" she replied.
When they got into the conversation I left them immediately to the kitchen to check if there was any food I could serve my ex-husband, no matter how he was a guest in the house, I have to treat you well. I've been sincere with what happened in the past, it's just that the pain is still there and imprinted during it.
Deep in my heart I still have a deep sense but I also have to accept the reality of life that exists, I am nothing and nobody else for her. Besides I have to look okay and keep my husband feeling now, I am also happy with the life I am living now, there are children and husbands who really love me.
"waste" said my in-laws "want to cook?"
"yes ummi, there are bad guests" I replied
"iya, ummi tau" said ummi "ummi has met her. The children have also, rahma even talked a lot with his father. Thank God his father still cares about them, ordinary divorced men like to forget about his children, but this still cares a lot"
I just smiled bitterly hearing my mother-in-law speak like that, with no word to reply to her I kept working to prepare food for all her including my ex-husband. Indeed, my ex-husband is very fond of his children even more comfortable when with his father, than his father was very patient to the children than me.
"waste" asked my in-laws "that patient why did you get divorced first?"
I gasped when my in-laws suddenly asked me about my past, the past I wanted to bury deeply did not want me to remember, but now in-laws ask me very principled questions, I don't know what he meant, I fell silent for a moment but so he wouldn't know my tears I went back to doing my job.
"sorry, maybe ummi who has been presumptuous to ask you personal things" said Ummi as if feeling bad for me.
"nothing ummi" I kept smiling even though I felt that the question was inappropriate for him to ask me. In any case I am now the legal wife of her child, although sirri but I am the duty of her son now.
I just smiled as I continued to cook, my heart felt tight when my mother-in-law asked me something more principle, did she not feel like a fellow woman? What happens if my position he feels and I ask the past to him. I wanted to feel it I came out of the kitchen but my legs seemed to be stuck with a sense of patience that was still stored and I could still show a good attitude even though my cries spilled slowly.
"ummi, the food is ready" I tried to divert the conversation and block his words so that he wouldn't always wait for my answer to a question I couldn't answer. "sorry ummi I want to call her teteh and mba to clean the dining table"
I quickly came out of the kitchen I knew my in-laws were still looking at me, looking inside me. I made me feel fine as I walked past him to my eldest son's room. Ever since I got married, she has been more quiet than she was after I divorced her father. I know he's not comfortable but I also can't fight my own destiny indirectly I do need a companion who understands my situation in any time.
I regret my divorce, but I can't change my destiny, I can't have to go through it, I just want a better life for them, I just want a better life for them, I don't want my divorce with her father to hinder their ideals so want to be as heavy as I have to be able to shoulder it.
"mom, why are you still busy working while there's a new dad for us?" ask the firstborn to me. My heart trembled when I heard her words.
I don't blame him just that I don't want to hang all his needs on his new father, I'll stop working when my savings for them I think are enough. As a mother who has many children I do not want my husband who now feels overwhelmed because of his many expenses for children, I can not stand by and let him work alone.
"mother will stop working tea, one day." I gave her insight little by little about adult relationships because I had to lead her early on. "mother has you 5 not be a burden on others, but be the responsibility of the mother tea, lead you to the path you want.when you can tread then that's when the obligation of the mother is completed"
I could not bear the feeling that I looked at my 5 children who were always difficult for me to meet, sometimes when I left the small child was still sleeping and went home also in a state of sleep, sometimes when I was asleep, but I'm always looking for ways to be quality time with them, I don't want them to lose my motherhood after they lose their future fatherhood.
"teh,, help mother to be strong, because of the hope of mother who can understand mother. Sorry not to charge to teteh but I just ask for understanding to teteh at this time indeed mother has not been able to get out of mother's work. I ask you to diligently learn to maintain achievement in school, if you have high school later mother who will anterin teteh to achieve what you want to make a living teteh"
Not that I don't understand what she's feeling, but I'm hard at educating children, I learned an independent attitude even though he was small so that he was used to doing it himself without the help of others at least not to bother the people around him, ranging from bathing, eating, eating, until I prepared uniforms for them I asked my house assistants not to help them too much.
Although I was busy I always monitored my children's development at school, at home, while he was playing, he said, I always monitor even the mobile phone that I facilitate I give tools to be able to track their daily activities. As busy as I am, I am still there when there are meetings at school or when they need me.
"teh" I knocked on my eldest son's door to help me prepare food for his father "teh, teteh, please open the door dong, mother wants to tell" long time not open the door is there if I wonder if I knock again the door and I tried to open the door handle was not in the key I opened it wide, there was no one in it. I also closed the door again the eldest tried to find him because my curiosity 'where is he?' muttered
"ummi, ko why isn't she in the room?" ask my mother-in-law when I get back to the kitchen.
"hmm, then if the work is not while daydreaming" said ummi a little ketus "ummi want to say kan rahma follow the mba to the market"
"oh yes sorry ummi I forgot" I replied smiling bitterly
"part of why is also the mind of the ummi question" still sounded ketusnya tone of my in-laws' speech "kalo can not be answered yes do not answer dong, ummi just nanya aja ko, ko, no mean nothing"
"sorry ummi" answered me weakened because my in-laws have hardened his voice "sorry to dian himself who cleaned the dining table, ummi cape has helped me in the kitchen, thanks ya ummi"
My in-laws left the kitchen with a face that was explained between anger and patience, so was my mother-in-law when facing my security. But I also praise him very patient and love me worthy of his own biological children do not hesitate to rebuke me when I do not agree with him. Yes, like that, though, I now live 1 roof with in-laws so just feel close to in-laws first for 16 years I have never been 1 roof with in-laws understand the distance between my house and in-laws is quite far away so rarely to meet them less. A bit long when the eid al-Fitr was also stuck 3 days after it came home.
I cleaned the dining table and immediately prepared the dish, it did not take long I immediately called my husband to invite the mas priest to dinner together. So that she can feel the food with her children. I do not close access to meet children because I do not want my child to feel the loss of a full-fledged father figure even though they do not lack paternal affection.
"abba, sorry to ask the priest to eat with ba" I asked as I approached them in the front room.
I don't know what their conversation was, I saw them walking towards our dining room, and I also cheated for the children. The boisterous spirit as the children walked towards the dining room. We ate together the babbling of the children when his father came. Full of laughter they seemed happy to meet his father.
"a, if you want to take the kids out tomorrow please a" said my husband
"can you?" ask her
"yes a, I think dian also do not mind, anyway tomorrow we are in the office was very busy so there aa can help us take care of the children" he said again "if the hassles there are mba-mba who help aa to take care of them"
"thank you" she answered
"yes a together, do not worry anyway we are parents they have to take care of them equally" said my husband. So authoritative and only my husband is still able to play a father connect very well.
Thank God you have given me an antidote that understands me so much, as well as a mother-in-law who truly loves me.
We had finished eating, I cleaned up the dining table that my daughter and my housekeeper helped me to finish.
"sorry mas, if you want to rest please anyway the children have slept with his mba" I said to mas imam
"oh yes thank you" he answered
"sorry I go to the room first, tomorrow morning have to leave early about her in the office again busy" said I
"oh yeah nothing, please. I ask permission tomorrow take the children's walk" said the priest asked my permission
"yes, please" I replied.
I entered the room with my husband looking and sounding lonely as all entered their respective rooms and slept in long dreams until tomorrow morning.
