BETWEEN YOU HE AND ME

dian's plan

today is right for my birthday, deliberately I did not talk mas rian on the porch to be comfortable, I took the time for him in between my schedule that is padet.

"yan,, no, I think it's been 1 week here" said Mas Rian starting our conversation "sorry so disrupt your time"

"mas" I'm going to rian mas "I don't like you talking about it" I started badmood when rian said that I thought he knew my birthday but how could he know about it I always closed my identity because I didn't want him to much know about me, I just want people who love me not to know who I am for fear of love what it is not what it is. My current circumstances and conditions must be more selective about how my soul mate will be. For now I am comfortable with the existence of mas rian but I also still have doubts whether he really does love me sincerely or because now I have an established income?

"i feel very insecure with you, and all of it scares me" mas rian told me. I just fell silent unable to speak anything. "i'm afraid our different socials will make you can't live with me"

I don't know what to answer one side I'm getting comfortable there's a guy who cares for me, gives me encouragement but on the other hand I still remember about the time of my divorce. It was only 6 months that I parted with the mas faith still felt difficult for me to accept other men for my future. I can't shake my comfort, there's a pain flare when I hear mas rian talking like this.

"when I was getting comfortable with mas, why now mas say if mas doubt why not from the beginning mas?" ask me "i've tried to be honest everything from who I am, work that takes my time, I've been honest but you're the one who always rejects it, and now I don't know what to do?"

"i just don't want you to want me with the salary you get now, while I'm not necessarily in the period of one month get a salary that big" her words to me sounded desperate.

"mas, as long as we've known from the beginning to the present day have I ever taken into account financial problems?" ask her just for a comparison if I'm not the type of woman who only takes into account economic problems. "ga mas,, money problems can be found, money problems can be sought, if you are serious intentions we look together rizki we don't have to think oh your salary is big maybe you want to receive from me a distance mas thinker her"

"i'm afraid, yan," she told me "maybe first why stay with your husband because you're the same social work"

"you're wrong mas, it's just that I'm bigger than before" I explained to him so as not to misunderstand "why my household can be up to a long time because we have an initial commitment, he said, because we love each other and have a sense of need between one and the other. I need a man who can protect me, understand me my attitude and accept what is in me is not what I am, why am I divorced? Because of my mistake that might make her can no longer be with me. I understand that I understand the feeling that why I was sincerely left behind even though you know I was down at that time" I clenched my legs in front of my chest with a little head bow so that mas Rian did not know there were tears that fell accidentally on my hands. "you have made me comfortable mas,,,,, you know, I have a,,,but why is it like this now?"

My conversation last night was fresh in my memory which almost made me not focus on work. Today I invited all my team to dinner at a cafe, I invited mas rian so that he knew my social scope was not meant to show off but just introduce mas rian to my world so that later he would get used to my character. It's like my revenge on a man who can't keep his own commitments. Her attitude and words last night made me remember about the divorce a few months ago. "would I be sick for the second time?" I whispered in my heart.

"hey yan," said ahmad and novi as he approached me

"hallo" we cipika cipiki "knowinin.ini mas rian" I introduced them. "this gold 2 my friends are not only at home in the office everywhere we are together" brands shake hands with each other.

"good luck ma'am president hopefully with growing older also increased his rizki" said our novi and call amiinnn together.

"gue ain't got nothing, just an empty stomach ya" ahmad joked while thrusting a purple box at me.

"what's niii?" ask them "can they open?"

"open aja mumpung no one" he said to me "but do not insult ya about this we dapet jointgan, understand the date has begun to grow old so again ngirit" said ahmad. I open the contents of the bag and shoes that I want that 2 weeks ago I saw in a mall.

"iiihhhh thank you" I hugged the two of them together with "this is an inceran item I know, thank you very much"

"yes it's a bag that buys nonoy, if the shoes we joint, money geu start a crisis, payday is still long" explained ahmad "if nonoy where know the date of youth ma the date of old is natural board members may not have money times." novi manyun

"mas, "" asked novi to mas rian who from earlier diem noticed the three of us "long know ma dian?"

"there are 6 months of this," replied mas rian

"sorry just want to ngingetin aja, be careful mas same girl next to me," mas rian took seriously "he tuu super girl fierce tau ga?" novi giggled and mas rian just smiled.

"the time?" tanya mas rian glanced at me as if he was kepo with a story novi "you already know that long ago?"

"hmm not long ago mas" said ahmad to mas rian "already our moss mas, from 2007 mas until now so already rich sodara himself."

"old as well yaaa" said mas rian. Before long they came together maybe a deal. They greeted me with prayers one by one. Don't forget I introduced lilis to mas rian.

"mas ni lilis, my assistant in the office" I introduced. They sat on their own table chairs and the dishes came soon. They enjoy eating malems with warmth and joking jokes from one to the other.

Not long ago they also say novi novi same ahmad they are still waiting for me. I pay all the bills after that we go home.

"in the office you're important?" said mas rian pas we took home.

"bi,, this is for auntie just as much" I said as I woke up to aunt's room from her sleep.

I approached the mas rian who was daydreaming in front of the tv, for a moment I noticed his attitude lately did not look comfortable, did not look comfortable, I was confused as to how while the comfort that he built for me began to grow a sense of love for him. "let's feel it will disappear with time" I whispered in my heart.

"mas,, why daydream?" ask me to mas rian "here to see me" I sit in front of him and hold his hand. "are you not comfortable here?"

"say who?" her reply tried to fool me while smiling "I just thought my job was there yan"

"what if your efforts were diverted here?" ask me "can we find a place that is approximately safe to nyimpen his goods. As for my plan, I'll bring the kids here they move here"

"mas also thought about it yan, but we used to marry so calm when we go home"

"ko diem?" ask me "do you want to get married?"

"don't you want a mas, but a lopsidedness isn't it now? About it I'm not ready yet mas"

"why not ready? Still not ashamed of me?" asked rian who made me respond

"that's it, but I'm managing my life, planning my children's future as little as saving for my son when I can't work anymore" I replied

"lagian also not now-now dear mas also need time for kumpulin money in order to give dowry that can be commensurate with you, too, I don't want to be ashamed of myself in front of your family or your friends" his answer made me relieved because for now I have not been to think to live the household that is in my brain just how the future of my son.

"tomorrow mas go home, yes, let's be more mopping mas work again" said mas rian all saying to me "mas shy ma you yesterday your time at home working nyantai really because ngerasa nyari money is very easy even sometimes mas nyepelein very difficult people nyari money and work but look at you here find money until you rest, when you eat mas see your struggle here"

I was silent sighing not wanting to be like those who eat enough rest there is enough time for the family I want all of it but now is not the time for me to relax because I have to think the future of my children so that they will not experience what I am experiencing now. I have to prepare the future for them because now I am their mother and father. There is a father, but I do not want to rely on others for the happiness of my son while I can I will do everything for my son and always pray that I will be tired of being the real lillah for my old days.

"ko diem why?" I asked him, just shaking and smiling

"this is Sunday, the streets yu mumpung you here" invite me "mumping spit rarely I'm at home"

"later to be my wife yes you are always at home, waiting for me to come home and take care of the children."

I smiled, and we went away together, all day long we went to make me more comfortable, but the more afraid I was to commit further. "just enjoy today and do not have to think about tomorrow how it will be" whispered me in my heart.

"cape mas" I said when I came home I immediately fell on the front room mattress. Mas Rian stuffed his body near me.

"are you happy today?" ask her to me

"hey, thank you" I replied

"i've made you smile, now it's your turn to make me smile" she told me. I sat down because I didn't want to do anything to me. I was forced to be broken down, I could not move my hand mas rian too strong when holding me. My chest with my body began to tremble I was afraid

"mas" thrashed me when my body was half over it." don't mas, please" I tried to hold mas rian's body so as not to overpower me. "mas don't mas" my energy is not strong enough to hold his body. "i screamed if you maksa" my hardik. But it doesn't scare her even more strongly she's pinning me down. "mas..."

"why?"ask with a smile. "why? Can't you?" I don't know the meaning of the smile on her lips. I grew more determined to see his smile. God save me take care of me." I prayed. Mas Rian instead laughed loudly and threw his body on the mattress with his back he was still laughing I do not know what he meant I did not waste it I immediately sat away from him with breath holding the pain.

"you why?" rian asked with a laugh. I didn't answer her I was angry and afraid to mix into one. "already here" invite her "here baby don't be afraid" I don't flinch "come here" he held my hand and dragged me back to the bed "let's go here and have a great cape."

"mas don't help me don't!" ask me in my tone to say "please don't do anything to me"

"you're old ya think his distance tauuu" he replied while continuing to laugh "here mas cape, you also cape right? Here sleep rest" said he pulled my hand I also according to the trembling body. Mas Rian hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"listen dear mas dear to you, mas love to you mas ga want to damage you mas just want to keep you" he said by wiping my tears that accidentally came out. "mas ain't gonna say anything to you before we're halal" I feel safe when I hear the words mas rian "here sleeping in the arms of mas. I want to hug you in bed. May it?" I approached as she lay her body on the bed, I slept in her arms feeling comfortable things that I had not felt the warmth of the opposite sex's embrace for a long time

"rich gini dong kan yuk mas more pules his sleep, mas cape really. You're cape too, right? Dah sleeps here in the chest mas"

Before long I fell asleep in his arms, a hug that made me comfortable. We slept well. I don't know how long I slept until I didn't feel when the sun had sunk since the clock hit 6.30 minutes I realized rian was no longer beside me.

"mas,, "call me "mas" there's no answer I'm looking into my empty room. Who do I hear in the kitchen mas rian with?

"let me cook ga anything bi" mas rian prevented his aunt from helping him in the kitchen. "have you woken up dear? How's sleep good?"

I nodded and sat down on the kitchen table chair life still hasn't gathered all.

"look at you can sleep pules dear" mas rian approached and kissed my forehead again, I felt ashamed that there was a mang ujo wife watching us. and she just smiled. "I don't think I've ever seen you sleep on a sepule. Inget later if mas go home do not forget to take care of health yes," mas rian turned to aunt "bi please take care of mom yes, ingetin to eat and rest do not get sick no one takes care of later." his words to the wife of mang ujo. "eat yu baby I'm already masakin for you" mas rian offered the dishes he made.

"you're good" I put food in my mouth "I'll miss when you get home"

"time?" rian mas goda

"don't be ashamed"

"it is precisely the mas that will miss dear, spoiled you, nagging you, making mas kangen with you. Doain mas his business is successful and advanced yes let us mepet together stay at home."

We finished eating I entered the room and prepared the file for tomorrow mas rian to finish his clothes because he will go home tomorrow.