BETWEEN YOU HE AND ME

news of faith

The phone from mas iman made my mind go wrong. Why after all this time has there been news? Where was the time I needed now that my life had changed why did he come?.

"hey..why the hell?" ask ahmad "my thoughts were on the phone? We don't have to think we want to be yaannggg"

I glared again, ahmad giggled "lo art?" chirp me to ahmad "gue instead so males go, moody me"

"why the hell?" novi asked confused "by the way what the hell are you on?"

"so when we wait ehh he was even the same phone again ex" explained ahmad to novi

"noy,, your new car?" I switched the conversation "great ya nikah kemaaren already got a new car, new apartment again"

"iya dong should be,,," said novi proudly indeed from the first matre also ni son, ni, only good subhanallah really let alone ma I who from the first entered the campus he who always deket ma me. On campus is also always nicknamed miss urakan because it always can not keep the pattern of talking to anyone.

"where are we going?" ask me because I have no plans

"quarter adem while listening to music" replied novi while holding the steering "bu,, do you want to buy a car? Let's increase your life stage in the village."

"ga ah I can't drive and don't think I want to be able to go before." answered me. I did not think I could drive a car about her I feel husband can drive, my father is a driver too, I can drive, and now mas rian can also drive so yes already do not want to learn nyetir. "gue was old and did not think nyetir himself. It's also safe to drive again we can cape to sleep, right?" I said to find it safe let's not ask a lot of males, again not a clear sense of heart.

We got to our destination, the three of us went down and entered to choose a seat in a relaxed corner. We ordered snacks and drinks, sat down to enjoy the music from the buskers there. For a moment I forgot the erratic mood changed the comfortable atmosphere with the cozy music in the ears.

"yan, I mean, I suppose the faith asks you how?" ask novi to me. I fell silent as if I didn't answer the question that novi asked me. "yeeee was asked instead of diem?" I glanced at him and sipped my drink.

"you know," I answered

"do you mean you know?" ask her back. I exhaled a rough breath

"yes you don't know nooyy, I'm confused" I replied "so I don't expect to be on the phone with the same faith, I'm sampe trembling between seneng, sad, disappointed, angry all his noy. Don't know what to do?"

"move on yan,, you've been living in that, you've been thrown out, you don't need to make it unclear" said novi, who was not involved in the incident, novi's a realistic person for him no words back to his ex. What else is my case that was divorced without being told first.

"gue agreed yan,, "ahmad chimed in on the opinion of novi "now gini me, I put me in the position of mas iman now you think waking up the household it takes a lifetime can not only today I know you are wrong I also understand if mas iman disappointed I can fret but the divorce is not the best way gentle name if that."

I'm thinking too complicated about the life I'm living, why I can't be like everyone else, who lives like no burden. 'do not be too burden because other people also have different problems how to deal with the problem' whispered me in the heart. Like now people see me as a successful person but they don't know the process that I went through to make this heart pegel and don't want to do something like this again. Once enough I was destroyed not just destroyed but crushed not restless.

"yan, that's on your side now it's rian, not faith" the novi reminded "kalo lo ninggalin lo nut forgot the skin of the mother, who was trying desperately to bear lo rian, who accompanied you when you dumped lo rian's husband all the sampe lo here was the role of rian consciously ga lo" I can only be silent yes I admit I can like this struggle rian, but I am not sure with my heart rian heavy to turn away from the mas faith. Within 16 years produced 5 children who still need a father and mother. It's not easy to move to another.

"gue tau rian is much younger than lo but the mature thought of rian that makes you here" he continued his words. "it may also be lo jaim because of your education status that is far above rian, but what is it for high school if we lose to those who do not have a hijasah. We high school can not open jobs for others but rian can we call the boss he can create jobs for others around him. Think ga lo when we can enjoy life, we can live on the index end of someone else but rian he wants to work ya leave ga also anyway his men who he asked ya ga?"

"a really noy clope, young people but mature thinking, if the problem of speech is indeed chirping yes because of the lack of knowledge but consciously ga lo yan,,," ahmad chimed in novi comments that were directed at me "conscious ga in a period of a day a night could generate 2 3 million dollars, he said, it is a cut of capital but it is clear that the benefits we can calculate per day."

"make me want to brondong want grandfather if the responsibility yaa mending live it rather than all we want but do throw us when we fall?" the word novi makes me worry more

"it's not really because of the age and education factor alone, which makes me doubt the same rian but all the many that I have to consider, I'm not a single rich lo noy,,,the easy decision to make who is important you are comfortable" said me to them "lo know I'm single mom and single dad too, he said, my role that makes me rethink to nerima guy, I can not be as easy as lo noy, okay I live the commitment ma rian he can be very dear ma me, I can not be as easy as lo noy, okay I live the commitment ma rian, can you love my kids? Couldn't he just accept me if there's her, not what's me"

"rian has proof, right?" ask novi

"gue doesn't know, it's hard to say yes to him. I doubt" I explained to them.

"how do you want to?" ask novi again

"just go for it, because I don't know what to do" I replied briefly

"yeah, don't talk about it, ribet!!!"

We were still enjoying the music we were singing. I want to let go of all the burdens of the heart that bother me.

"rian called yan?" tanya novi broke my daydream

"sampe now yet?"

"from the first to come home from here until now?" ask novi in amazement. Novi looked at me as if he couldn't believe what I was saying." You tried to phone?"

"many times but there is no answer, so why do I doubt?" timpas ku. "gue do not want nyesel later?"

drrrttt, the voice message from my phone. "yan night, have you slept?" faith sent me a message

"yet" I replied "why?"

"excuse me only nanya" replied mas faith "why haven't you slept? Rest, cape's all day?"

"not sleepy" I replied.

Krrriinnnggg "hallo" I answered on the phone when I received a phone call from mas iman

"can you temenin?" ask her to me

"malem mas, why hasn't mas gone to sleep? Ask me

"can't sleep yet" she replied "long ago how are you?"

"well, mas itself?"

"i'm also good." he replied. "mas want to apologize yan, mas may already hurt you, mas aware of the wrong mas yan, denggalin you when you have a problem, sorry about yan"

"lupain aja mas, I've forgotten" my short answer is still clearly illustrated how I was when he left me without a word, he said, the kindness he showed me also meant nothing else. "mas, have you seen the kids?" ask me to switch the conversation

"not yet yan, working now" replied his "work mas who can not take off, holiday is also only last night which is also 6 o'clock back to work" mas iman said the situation is now difficult to get out of the workplace because taking care of the pond is not as free as the work that used to be with me. "but every month always send money to them"

"yes, you know, you know" I said, "sister always tells me"

"yes I'm told you're also from the big brother" he told me. Fortunately, I didn't tell my firstborn much about my life here, make me want no matter how much I don't have to know the children I don't want to mentally they fall because they know the condition of their parents.

"mas said if we're not together again?" ask me "i mean I said ga if we're divorced"

"yes I said yan, what's wrong?" ask her that easily. Instantly my emotions came out I overflowed everything that I had been feeling, hurt, disappointment, anger I spilled all on her

"mas, I, I've covered everything from people, from children almost 1 year a I'm secretain all of it why?" my emotions are no longer held back. "why? Because I don't want to mentally fall children when I know the condition of his mother's father I don't want them to think, I also don't want my parents to know why? I don't want to make any worse their assessment of you. Think not until now I can still keep your good name in front of my family, because what? Because you are the father of my children, because you are the place where they grieve. I don't want them to stay away from you because you know now that her mom and dad are separated? I don't want their grip off I don't want them to lose the father figure who has always been there for them, I take care of everything mas." my emotions peaked in between my unstoppable cries again "you ain't just hurting me but you've hurt their hearts too, don't you think before you tell them all? All I think about is one psychic they're in"

"sorry yan, mas ga tau "answer her "you think you already told all to the children so mas said to the sister if it was not the same mother again."

"you can never understand me mas, sorry mas already malem q close first his phone" I said to mas iman.

"wait yan, I'm not done talking "excuse me "please give me a chance to talk" I can only be silent tears that have been flowing since I immediately dry up I feel unworthy of him I cry.

"mas know mas salah mas selfish do not think of you and the children because I am disappointed really-disappointed with your attitude that you do not know anything" he said to me

"but I've spoken before I just help my friend, I don't know if he ends up betraying me, I never have bad thoughts to them"

"but I've been trying to make your ingetin, haven't I?" ask her. Yes, I was a fool at that time because faith always said but I was not horrified because I felt sorry for the friend whose end was pierced from behind. I also regret my attitude that did not hear the words of my husband who actually knew something was wrong with my friend. I regret that I did not demand that when the mas faith divorced me even though he did not tell me first.

"gold, I have accepted our divorce" I said to the faith "I also do not need anything to you, but you do not give the announcement if we are divorced. Why can't we keep a secret even if we're nobody?"

"sorry, but I think you have told your children and your family" he replied

"make what? What profit and loss for them anyway or no me they are ordinary" turn me to the mas faith so that he knows even until my circumstances improve they do not care I was also up to, not not care but temporarily out of their lives first, they did not care, ga intents are ungodly as well but would rather be free from pain because I am like this too because of the role of my parents which hinders my little happiness. Do not even want to break the friendship because it is sinful if someone to break the relationship with his fellow let alone his own parents but rather want to avoid the atmosphere can be better.

"sorry, mas ga tau if you hide our status to your family, I think they will pity you when you yourself face the problems that exist. Again I'm sorry"

"you have to apologize, but now I'm comfortable with my situation"

"yes I heard it, I know you went back to where we used to be with a higher salary than yesterday" he explained

"do you know where?" ask me

"your boss nelfon to mas, that time before you came there." explained mas iman to me "your boss told me when you came about his work has been stacked, already stacked, keep saying also your salary and bonus as you ask, so you know. Congratulations you can be what you want even without a mas"

I was silent and did not feel the water in my eyes when I heard his words. My heart feels sore to hear it, which I want my success to enjoy together, but now things change I have to be sincere because that's what I can do now.