My Little Girlfriend

97. What Kinan Expects

"Hmm.. are you sure you want to listen to the answer?" Bian looked at Kinan with his smiling face.

Kinan who was now standing staring at him could only stare nervously at Bian in front of him, although doing so just to confirm his answer, but somehow made him a little nervous when he wanted to listen directly to his answer.

"D-yes."

With a little nervousness, he finally tried to dare to do it.

"My answer is..." Bian paused his sentence, and tried to look at Kinan for a moment.

"Is this because you want to hear reassurance from me?" Suddenly Bian asked the reason Kinan asked him.

"You can think of it that way."

Bian pondered for a moment the answer he was about to say to Kinan.

"What makes you doubt me? Have my feelings not been convincing enough for you?"

"I just feel like it's going to be a waste if it continues, so I feel like the relationship you hoped it would never work." Kinan was a little worried about the condition of his relationship and Bian who would not be able to go any further, given the considerable differences in themselves.

Hearing Kinan's reply, Bian again played his fingers to try to find the right answer for him.

"Why are you so sure we can't go any further?" Said later.

"Because I'm not sure I can live out my expectations with you." Answer Kinan.

"the hope? What is your hope that I can't make it happen?"

Bian slightly scrunched his forehead as Kinan expressed his hope.

"I want a more serious relationship, therefore, I feel like I can't be with you." Said Kinan with his facial expression that looked so serious. Bian was silent again because of it.

"Seriously? What kind of serious relationship do you mean? Am I less serious in your eyes right now?" For some reason Bian's expression became angry as he stared at Kinan.

Kinan saw the look on Bian's face that suddenly became a little upset because of his words. His face that was now staring at him was sharp and full of anger that slightly scared him and felt guilty at the same time.

"I'm sorry, that's all I want to tell you. Then excuse me for leaving in front of you." Pamit Kinan was about to leave.

"Is this because you want a relationship that comes to marriage?" Bian stopped Kinan's steps about to exit his room.

The footsteps that were about to leave finally stopped.

"Yes." Yeah." He answered, then turned to look at Bian.

"Are you seriously saying that?"

"Yes, because it was my dream from a long time ago. Marrying the person I love and being able to live with is a dream I've always wanted."

Bian, who was now within close proximity of Kinan, just stared at him in silence.

"Is this because you grew up in an orphanage?"

"Yes. Because of that, I.."

Kinan, who had been stunned to hear Bian's confession, suddenly turned his face away. His eyes suddenly glazed, with his feelings all complicated. His heart felt a burdened feeling about it.

"I'm sorry, I have to go now, because it's getting darker." Kinan finally looked back at Bian to leave, trying to control the look on his face that seemed to be holding back his uncomfortable feelings.

Bian who was in front of him was still silent not giving his voice.

"You don't trust me, because I'm your boss, do you? or.. is it because of our different statuses?" Said Bian then, who seemed to understand the meaning of the worry from Kinan.

Kinan only kept quiet when he got the question from Bian. And his silence has given Bian a direct answer about his concern all along on a relationship that shouldn't exist.

"True, because of that, I give you the answer now." After a moment of silence, Kinan tried to dare to speak his opinion.

Bian let out a long sigh, along with an expression of himself that was so confusing, considering that what Kinan said was not wrong.

"How can you be so sure like this, if we haven't tried it yet?" Bian.

"From us getting hurt afterwards, maybe we shouldn't have started."

Again Bian was transfixed by Kinan's answer. His words seemed to awaken himself to the reality in front of him.

"Is loving someone so hard?" He said by putting on a sad face in front of Kinan.

Kinan's eyes trembled as soon as he saw the expression made by Bian at this moment. He seemed to be unexpectedly able to see such an expression from Bian. His tongue felt guilty as if.

......................

The hope that Kinan dreamed of was actually a very simple thing for him, because he did not have a family from childhood, he so longed for the meaning of a family for him. Although getting warmth when with the Bayu family, but there are times when he wants to have his own family. She hopes to have a small family from her wedding.

"I'm not wrong, would you, if a little expected it?"

And the biggest reason it is so dubious to go further on his relationship with Bian is because there are differences in social status in both of them that are so powerful he explained to himself with Bian. It was because of this difference that Kinan felt hesitant to consider his feelings.

"If I say yes, what will happen? Is everything gonna be okay with just a taste?"

Kinan believes that his relationship with Bian will not be easy, with his status that is only subordinate to Bian, plus his own life because of the absence of family makes him feel sure of his concerns.

"And won't I still feel hurt?" He said that it would be difficult if he was with Bian later.

...

Kinan who seemed to give distance to Bian with a conscious feeling of his position. While Bian, who just felt the feeling of loving someone so sincere and serious like this, looks so frustrated when getting rejection from people he likes. Although not the first time for him to get rejection from people he likes, but somehow the pain is more stabbing this time.

"I just love it, but why is it so hard for me to get her heart?"

Bian complained when imagining having to fail again in his love. Back then, when his attraction to the woman he likes had been felt in his heart, all he hoped for was to be closer and be with her, but it turns out that loving someone is not easy for him to get his heart and feelings.

"Married?"

For a moment he remembered the words uttered by Kinan about marriage. He was fixated, and contemplated it, considering it had never been in his shadow, nor had he planned before.

"Why didn't I think about it, huh?"