Let Me Choose

Desire is a decision

"Retno, have you heard from your husband? e-mail maybe?"

"I haven't opened my e-mail yet, Mom, I'm busy completing the revision, what's up?"

"Retno's Astagfire! maybe now your husband wants to hear your news, why not start opening communication? what's wrong with you giving her your phone number let her feel calm or open an e-mail and reply."

"I plan after the revision is over, ma'am, I don't focus on getting it done one-on-one."

"It's good that you inform your husband, your task is almost complete and a little revision will probably be your calm as well, you know your husband's news."

Retno.

"Don't be like that, son, you've forgiven, accepted, and embraced but not expressed in reality, why would it all be if it was just a word?"

Retno was fully aware of Bu Harni's words, was her heart still doubtful and gambled by her decision? is his heart really willing to share?

"Think of the good of all those decisions, will there be any benefit to ourselves as well as others?"

"Yes ma'am, please just give me my phone number, so Mas Prabu will be able to call me."

"Mom didn't force Retno, just mediated between you, I wanted the best solution you could do. Don't let there be any regrets because you took the wrong step and made the wrong decision."

"I'm sorry Mom, I'm following my heart too much and feeling selfish. Just follow the anger without seeing others suffer more."

"Don't apologize, you're not wrong you're just a victim of circumstance, who shouldn't have accepted the matter, but it all gives you one very valuable lesson - the test of love is so hard and you can get through it.

"Maybe thanks to Mother Harni as well I can be strong and sincerely accept all this."

"I'm a nobody Retno, I'm just a Mother figure who wants her child out of trouble, so can I give you your number as Dr Prabu?"

Retno smiled as she nodded, hopefully with this path everything goes well like that, Retno said.

"Well later in the afternoon Mother will call your husband, then please speak heart to heart how good."

"Yes, Mom."

"See also e-mail do not drown with busyness, where is your final task?"

"Still revision."

"Yes, you go to work first, eat a lot, drink milk, take vitamins."

"Yes, Mom."

Somehow every word Bu Harni Retno always can not reject it, is all because it is true? it's like the words of his mother in any case can not distinguish maybe what distinguishes it is Mother Harni did not give birth to it, but her affection seems Retno felt no different.

Retno opened her laptop looking for e-mail that some days she did not see because of busyness.

So many submissions that have not been read by him none of the others all from Mas Prabu.

Dear Retno, maybe this is the punishment for me, when other people who tell the news that makes me feel shocked, shocked and incredulous for being happy. You're pregnant baby, even if you didn't tell me that happy news I'm happy Retno.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, baby, I can what now I am so far away, although the heart and body are so tortured struggling to hug you, only the best do'a for you and our future children, take care of health.

I'm more or less biweekly here because I see the condition of the recovery period people here are starting to rise up to get used to it, like I feel used to it too but I feel reluctant to go home, where should I go home?

Can't feel like I'm coming home, all so reminiscent of you, maybe I just go home to my job and stay in the office.

Retno wiped her tears, nanar looked at the laptop screen and stroked her flat stomach, there was a sob of longing filled the space of her heart.

Mas, I don't punish you, I don't have the right to punish my husband. I know you and your heart are also your love and your feelings are just for me.

I try to accept, understand, and forgive with all my heart, I have sincere Mas, one day I will return to our home and can look at each other with longing.

I miss you so much too, I'm not angry anymore, maybe this is the provision that I have to accept and I live.

Retno sobbed herself, feeling the pain of her heart bearing the same feeling as her husband expressed that of longing.

The more forgetting and busying themselves, the emptier the heart, the more, feeling bad for everything if not because there is another life in her womb feels lazy it feels Retno to eat anything other than something fresh in her mouth like fruit.

Retno, what are you craving, dear? it feels like this chest pain when I can't fulfill your wish.

In my delusion I can fulfill your request, go home with what you ask for,

Perhaps that is the happiness of a husband when he meets and sees his wife eating what he wants.

I'm sorry Retno, I'm sorry my son's papa!

Bathin I'm sick of missing you Retno, but I'm powerless, just hoping for the time that brings the time until you can accept this wrongful me.

Retno closed her laptop, unable to continue reading the e-mail, fell on the bed in a heart-wrenching cry.

His heart was broken by his own feelings, a sense of indisputability in real sight, presenting a hopeful longing pain.

Mas, what should I do?

I can't keep going like this either.

Retno whimpered to herself, sinking her face into the pillow and squeezing the sheets with a crushed feeling.

And finally Retno rubbed her face and tears as consciousness touched her, not for him to dissolve in prolonged sadness and take a very big decision that Retno is ready to go home no matter what happens.

Yes, later in the afternoon Retno will go home, no more anger in her heart, no blame all that happened with her husband, she said, also the problem that surrounds his household is not to be left behind but to be faced and solved how good.

Retno put clothes in her tote bag, also her laptop cleaned up everything that was messy, then swept it and brought food scraps to the kitchen of Bu Harni's house.

Washing everything as well as cleaning up the kitchen Bu Harni messy seemed not to have time to finish making breakfast this morning.

Retno looked and opened the table, her stomach was hungry but her mouth refused to eat anything.

Retno tried to take there fried vermicelli and bakwan in the sauce of the visible beans that attracted her, Retno ate alone while rubbing her stomach.

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Read also yes, Aryanti Charm, Let Me Choose, Rainbow Meniti, The Past of the President (New work of several Chapters) By Enis Sudrajat & __________________________________________________________________________________________________________