As Strong as the Mentari, as Soft as the Moon

Episode 95's. Facing the Reality

Allah Akbar...!" I shouted as the car hit the side of the road body then bounced in the air, turning, after which it rolled on the road and crashed just like that. Suddenly the sky turned and grew more and more dense. A single point of rain washed my face. Then I don't feel anything anymore. Everything becomes thick. Even the voice suddenly became silent. It's all so quiet...

It was the last day I met Keanu's brother.

After that I found myself lying on a hospital bed. So bitter was I at that time. Especially when I know how I am. Yep...Robby, what more exams I have to go through. As soon as I sat in that moment.

And today is exactly one month after that event. I was standing by the window. My mind wandered back, carrying pieces of memories with Keanu's brother. For a moment I felt the Bayu greeting me. He washed my face that was standing. While my hands held tight to the edge of the window. It felt like there was no sound that could tempt my hearing other than the chirping of birds that I was sure were busy jumping from one branch to another. I kept sharpening my ears, remembering the little bird in the morning and in the afternoon. This is my only entertainment after my current condition.

"Fara.." said one man. From his voice, I was sure he was behind. I twisted my body while breaking down a smile. "Doctor Faaz.." I said. "How are you, this morning?" ask her a few times while stepping. "Just like yesterday." I chanted while trying to reach the side of my bed. In my current situation, I need to sharpen my instincts more than my vision. Well, now no more bright colors decorate my life. And only one color will accompany it, which is black. Black only. There are no stars or moons that accompany it like the night sky. Black only.

This is the journey I have to go through now. Well, ever since then I've lost my sight. And even more heartbreaking, I lost Keanu's brother forever. The man I love and love me. A man who has been fighting for his love since we separated as children. My heart shrouded my soul. Unbelievable I think. And thus, the color concentration of my life became. How could not the man who had given me all the sense in life have now left me for good.

But there was one thing that made me slightly unravel the smile in the middle of my heart, which was that God gave a fetus in my womb. He is now eight weeks old. This is what strengthens me in living my days even with my current situation.

"I brought you breakfast. I put it on the nightstand ya.." said doctor Faaz who I used to call with the name brother. I think Brother Faaz is indeed worthy of being given the title of big brother, given his kindness over the past month. Moreover, he is Keanu's best friend.

"Thank you, brother. Where is Mbok Jum? Usually also mbok Jum who deliver it" I said with a smile. "Go to the market." said Faaz. I also did a short stint in response to Faaz's words.

"Em, I went to the hospital first huh. Don't forget the milk you drank. Make a baby grandpa tuh.." he said with a small laugh. I heard her step away as her laughter disappeared.

"Who is that..?" tanyaku. It was as if instinct told me there was someone around me. I asked twice, but there was no answer. I also frowned at the situation. Maybe it's just my feelings. So inwardly I am.

Then I continued the activity, which was breakfast without heeding my premonition. I immediately grabbed my breakfast menu which Faaz had placed on the nightstand. It's hard enough, but I have to keep going. I don't know why suddenly the nightstand was so far out of my reach. And so I almost dropped my breakfast menu.

Even so, it turns out that there are others who are so shocked by the incident just now. He took a quick step and helped me hold the tray with my breakfast menu that was about to fall. I was so excited to find that figure. "Who are you...?" I asked while swinging the stick that I managed to reach here and there. "Who are you...?!' ask me one more time. "Fara.." he said, Then it turned out to be a man. But wait.it looks like his voice is so familiar. But who?

I gasped again as his hand clasped tightly onto my finger. I really want to pull my hand out immediately. Butno. There was a warmth in his hand that I felt. "It's me Fara." he said again, putting my hand on his face that had been soaked with tears.

"Bang David." I said half a scream when I recognized him. Along with that, bang David also grabbed me in his arms. There was a long enough sob coloring our current meeting. "I'm sorry, Fara. I can't take care of you. I think Keanu can take care of you" said bang David again. I sobbed. "Really, bang. Brother Keanu can really take care of me. But fate says something else. I had to lose it sooner than we had planned" I said in tears. "I can do what, bang. All God has arranged" I said poignantly.

"But there's another life in your womb. You should be excited. While waiting for a suitable donor for you, I hope we will remain happy" said bang David. "We...?" I said full of questions.

"We. I, Fara, the fetus in your womb, Faaz and all those who love you" said bang David. "Thank you, bang. Fara is lucky to have people who always love her" I said.

Deckapan also loosened. "Fara breakfast first. Poor baby grandpa. He must have been starving" said bang David. Her warm hands wiped away my tears that were still flowing. Then I tried to shrink my tears and break down my smile, even though the drizzle in my heart never ended.

"No, Bang. Let's flow. It's a happy cry." I said as his hand touched my face and meant to wipe away the melt of my tears. "As bang David said. Like before. I'm happy, Bang. So let it.." I said again.

And it's true. Because of my request, bang David let my sobs go on. Occasionally his hand rubbed the tip of my head slowly in between his soft, almost inaudible sobbing.

"Mirzah. Doesn't Fara want to meet Mirza?" bang David suddenly. Hearing that I turned my face away. Why did bang David mention his name in my current situation? I myself have forgotten all the feelings that were before him. It has all become a forgotten memory. Only the increasingly fading shadows were there when recalling his name. Yeah, God...

"Fara has forgotten. Forgive Fara, Bang" I said later. "Well, it's okay. Fara Right...Sorry to remind" said bang David later. And once I lie by breaking a smile as a sign that I am okay, even though the drizzle in the heart continues and never ends.

The clock on the wall counts up to eight times. Along with that, bang David pamit. I still hear his steps up to the doorstep. Slightly jerked my body when the door of the room closed. And David's steps no longer can I hear. "Thank you, Bang. You're still like before. You've always been the sister I dreamed of. Your kindness really took the place of a real big brother" I muttered while wiping away the tears that had just returned to freefall.

I went back down my bed. And step towards the window. I caught a cold wind that made me bite. The sky is again pouring rain. His stubs ran through the open window and washed my face and part of my body. I closed my eyes, though I knew no difference whether it was open or closed. Because the color will remain the same, which is dark. My sense of touch began to sip the coldness of the rain. I really enjoyed it.

"You're happy, Fara...?" said a man I knew as Ainan, Faaz's personal assistant. I smiled and hid my surprise. "Follow with me." said Aiman, holding the tip of the stick in my hand. While the other end was in his grasp. He also directed my steps. "Where...?" ask me when the step feels through the door.

The rain was so felt in the ears. Even the dots started to dye my body. The smell of rain is tempting me. Dance, let's dance Fara. Tiptoeing jolly. Enjoy.you also have the right to enjoy and be happy even in your dark.

"Sister.." call me back as I feel left alone under the rain. I swung my wand here and there looking for Aiman. "You should enjoy it, Fara.." cried Aiman later. His voice was faint amidst the rumbling rain.

"Don't be afraid, Fara. I'm with you." cried Aiman again. And I'm still looking for her whereabouts. Swinging the stick around. Until my stick hits his figure. I'm sure it is. "You have to be brave, Fara." he said again.

"Yes....! I dare...! I'm not a coward...!" answer me out loud while stretching out my hands. My rebellious soul began to feel shady. My drizzling heart started to pull over. And my shady mind is getting comfortable. It turned out that the rain was so terrible to seduce me. And his seduction has led me to a dance. Bravery dance. Round and round I am in the rain. Dancing I followed the rain speck that combined with the breath of the Bayu. Lulled me in seduction so that my laughter began to feel reverberated. That's how I enjoyed the rain today.

Tired of me with all my own polah, I sat on the grass that I still remember how the color and thickness. How does it smell when I sit and rub it slowly first. In the morning or at dusk. When the sun is shining or the rain is attacking. I still keep them in pieces called memories.

I also took a long breath. My hands started rubbing my stomach. I tried to feel the baby candidate in my womb. Your power, O God, that makes this fetus strong in the event that I experience. It's beyond reason. There are many events that require parents to lose an unborn child while experiencing events like the one I experienced. But me, it's the opposite. Child survived. My son is able to survive. I believe this is God's intervention. All His power. And I'm sure God has a great plan for us. For me and for my son.

The rain still seduces me. But the ticking is a little rare. Only one thing I think hit my body. "I think it's enough for today." said one man, slipping a towel over my already giggled body. "Thank you, brother...The rain has made me laugh" I said as I closed the towel. "You deserve to enjoy it. Rest assured.." said Aiman.

My steps were a little quick when I stepped because Aiman was directing me through his grip on my shoulder. "Sir Faaz." I said as I passed by someone standing not far from the doorway. "Well, I guess I'll just quietly watch you play in the rain or see your cheerful laughter. But it turns out your instincts have made me easy to recognize" Faaz said. "I'm so memorized by your masculine scent, sister. Even the breath I recognize. Maybe this is the power of my instincts" I chuckled.

"I'm happy to see all your laughter" Faaz said. "Yes, how is Aiman's assistance? Does it make you comfortable? Or just the opposite?" ask doctor Faaz again. I smile. "So far it's been good and Fara has been helped" I said. "Thank God if so." said doctor Faaz again as he stepped. This time, however, he patted Aiman on the shoulder. I'm sure it is. I don't know what that clap meant. But I really appreciate what Aiman has done for me in recent times. May Allah repay all your kindness, brother...