As Strong as the Mentari, as Soft as the Moon

Episode 88's. Inner War

Amidst the urgent twilight wind, I felt the power of time, which indiscriminately changed everything. Tearing apart all the feelings that almost three years of this inhabit the heart and soul.

I realized that the wind was not blowing to shake the trees but to test the strength of the roots. Like the rhyme that says “The higher the tree the firmer the wind that hits it”. It is an unavoidable law of nature. The trials that are currently felt may be a universal step to strengthen the foundation of my life to become stronger. But can't just slow down. So that I can enjoy the situation I like for a long time. Or the wind just goes away, just stop at the things I love so my life will be fine. Don't be a storm. Because my life is full of storms. So which storm I have to finish first I'm still gamang.

***For my husband, Keanu...

This morning before today, the sun was so warm the sky was so clean. Thin clouds decorate it. And the wind blows too. Just slowly. The flowers dance so softly. There is no sign of rain or storm.

But over time, it turns out the wind began to mischievous. The wind began to invite dark clouds to fill the sky and blur the sunlight. Slowly but surely the rain started to fall. At first it was just a trickle, but then it turned uncontrollable.

The wind was not enough. He also made himself into waves so that the rain became a storm. A storm ready to overturn everything.

Husband, will you survive this storm? Will you stand with me to challenge the storm and conquer it? Will you hold me when I fall in the storm? Or will you choose to pass from the whirlwind. And choose to make peace with another heart?

My husband, one of my questions: "Will our story not end?"

To my husband, Keanu...

Do not be like the wind that sweeps away our memories, leaving a commotion in the recesses. Here's my door..

I'm waiting for your appointment***...

As soon as I wrote on a brown old book that contains all my complaints and my beautiful story. Books that have been closed for a long time, since sunlight is able to obscure dark clouds. Since the sun shone on my life and turned tears into laughter. But now this old brown book I open again when my life story needs to be written in each sheet. It is a reminder of my life in the future.

Still sitting on the green grass under a shady walnut tree. I looked at the reddish-colored sky which was the refractive sunlight of his contest. I closed the worn-out brown book while shrinking the clear grain that had just been dripping down on the lap. One or two of them fell to the earth. Let us whisper to the earth about the sadness that is going on. Even about the storm that's been raging in my life, my household. The storm that started since the choice of women mama present at home. Who with all his perfection seeks to seize the attention and heart of Keanu.

I fell silent, sometimes harboring tears at the sight of Dania's efforts getting Keanu's attention. This change is increasingly evident in Keanu. Yes, Robby..I have to how? Should I give up. Again...?

No...! I can't give up this easily. I have to defend what is rightfully mine. He's my husband. My lawful husband.

But... What about Keanu's own brother? Because no matter how hard I hold on to it, if it wants to go, it's still going. And no matter how hard I fight for it, if I only fight alone, it still won't work. It all goes back to Keanu. No...! Even though Keanu's decision to choose Dania I won't give up easily this time. Well.I'll fight for it.

Remember Fara.angin does not blow to shake the trees but tests the strength of the roots.

"Honey.." said brother Keanu surprised me. And as much as possible I hid the old brown book below where I sat while shrinking the rest of the clear circle. "What's right here, baby...? I've been looking for you ever since" said Keanu, who was standing behind me. Before long, he held me tight. "Enjoy the twilight, brother" I said just like that. "It's almost Maghrib, baby. We go in.." said brother Keanu while taking me inside.

"How long was it? Is there overtime?" ask me while accompanying his steps. "Em, it accompanied Dania briefly buy her needs" said Keanu flat brother.

Deg.

My heart's stopped. My words are stuck. It was just my eyes that were fixed on Keanu's eyes the moment after I stopped my steps. I don't understand what's going on right now. "Just accompany, baby. No more" said brother Keanu with a face as if he did not understand my attitude. Iiii. Maybe he could do that. Itchy hands want to squeeze his mouth. I was a manyun as I sauntered away leaving Keanu's stunned sister staring at me. Maybe he just realized what he had done. I don't know...

I was half up the stairs. I heard the voice of Dania, who called out to her brother Keanu. "Mas Keanu." call out to Dania. Mas's? Dania added a 'golden' frill in front of my brother Keanu, my husband. Jesus..What happened between the two? I'm ingrained. My footsteps stopped for a moment when my husband's name was called another woman. The woman who obviously wanted to snatch Keanu's brother away from me.

My steps were a little heavy down the stairs when the conversation happened. I sharpened my ears to satisfy my curiosity. "This is for mas" said Dania. "This all? for me?" said brother Keanu. "Yes, mas. Everything?" dania chuckled. "Trims yes." said Mr. Keanu. From his voice I know how glad Keanu's brother is to receive it.

I also continued my steps. And Keanu's footsteps were heard behind my steps. "Want tea or coffee?" said Dania again who was not answered by Keanu. But from the reflection of the mirror in front, I know that brother Keanu is gesture hands.

"A quick step. I can barely catch up with you" Keanu said in the room. "It's not that I can't catch up, but I'm engrossed with Dania." I said without looking at her. I'm busy tidying up all the Keanu's gear he just put down just now. "Just talk for a while." said brother Keanu while taking off his watch. "Not satisfied with talking too. Didn't it accompany him shopping" I said as I handed him a towel.

"Yes, I'm going to the cafe tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've been there" I said. Brother Keanu frowned then looked at me who was acting indifferent.

As usual I kissed Keanu's back and palm after praying. And this time it was the same as the days before, brother Keanu hugged me and kissed me gently on my forehead. Why does it feel a little different. Ah, I don't know...

"No reclining, dear." said Brother Keanu as he watched me move from my prayer mat. "Maghrib is my brother. This time only" I said. "Alright." said brother Keanu smiling as he passed to the bathroom and returned ablution.

He soon resumed his reading. As syahdu. Calms heart. For a moment I enjoyed the chanting, because I had to do something else in the kitchen.

Get down the stairs carefully. This time my steps were a little light. Maybe my recovery has increased. It's the greatest miracle I'd ever received if it were true. At the end of the stairs, precisely on the ground floor near the dining table I looked at Dania who was busy preparing dinner. Is there a new home assistant? The new hostess?

The feeling of tightness overrides the niche of the succum. But I'm trying to positively think about seeing the spirit of Dania. Counting lightens my work. Hehe...

"What cooking...?" ask me for a gift. "Eeeh..mau what? You just sit down, your legs will hurt again. Or go where it is. Let me do it, it's Keanu's challenge" Dania said, still holding my arm. He became worried that I would interfere with the preparation for dinner this evening. "It didn't take a week, your husband was able to accept my presence. And in two days, I'm sure he'll run into my arms. Moreover, your condition is not perfect" said Dania a little cynical. His hand gripped my arm. I also grimaced with pain. "A heartless woman" I said softly. And Dania brags her eyes and slightly pushes my body down a few steps. " Mrs.." said Min when he saw me trying to balance the body because it almost fell. In a hurry, he also supported my body.

"Thank you, ma'am" I almost cried. "Why is non Dania like this against Lady Fara? What's wrong, madam?" said mbak Min. "Non Dania is absolutely outrageous. Madam Fara is silent, it does not mean losing." said mbak Min again. Although his voice was not scorching, but enough to make Dania surprised. How could not a housekeeper dare to reprimand him directly.

"You.." said Dania stopped when she heard a step down the stairs. "Well, the smell is all the way up. Cook what's nieh, honey. .?" said brother Keanu looking at me. "Em, I'm the cook. Your challenge I answered immediately. Lazy linger if it's just cooking, it's on my fingertips" said Dania smilingly looking at Keanu's feet. Basic.heartless.

"Oya.." said brother Keanu while sitting and looking at the dishes presented. "Dear baby. You have to judge too" said brother Keanu gesturing me to sit next to him immediately.

An assessment? What is the appropriate judgment not to be your wife? Do I need to judge, have you not given him an extraordinary assessment of the cuisine presented? Basic labile.my curse in the heart.

"Em, how does it feel baby?" asked Brother Keanu while looking at me as I bribed one mouthful. I don't know.all becomes bland. Above all his behavior towards my husband. There's a sad who sneaks in and ambushes the tribe. "Fara.." call brother Keanu who instantly disperse my daydream. "Em, Yes. Delicious.." said I gago who made brother Keanu smile at me and shook his head.

"Fara agrees if it's delicious. That means I passed the exam, right?" dania is proud. And brother Keanu nodded with a smile. Yeah, Robby..what is this? I failed to understand all this. Why does Brother Keanu accept Dania so much? Has Keanu really fallen in love with Dania?

I was lethargic to remember what happened. I can't imagine what will happen tomorrow. Even a few minutes ahead I can't. Because everything can change at any time as easily as turning the palm of the hand.

Half-drawn my way to the living room where the two were listening to a comedy show from one of the private television stations. Both are so heartbreaking. Don't understand how you feel. Especially you brother. You're my husband. How can you not understand my feelings? Is your heart starting to glare with beauty and everything that Dania has?

I breathe heavily. With a smile I sat down next to Keanu's brother. "Hey.." said Brother Keanu while grabbing and rubbing my shoulder. I don't know why he did that. I keep asking a lot of questions. Maybe someday I'll ask. Or maybe just stay in my heart without any confirmation.

Ten o'clock past five minutes. Still in the middle room. "Dania.sleep. Looks like you're sleepy" said Brother Keanu in the middle of my jitters. "Em, yeah. I was already sleepy. I slept first, Dad. Good night." said Dania while tidying up her black hair that slightly covered her face. "Yes. Good night." said brother Keanu smiling.

"Yes, make it tomorrow?" dania said suddenly while twisting her body. "Yes.so" said brother Keanu gagu.

Deg.

What promise is this again. Or what other game is this. Ah, can't be allowed. My curiosity is growing. "Good.." said Dania sumringah as she passed.

"What's up? How come I wasn't told? Started to be secretive with your wife?" I said as my feet began to walk down the stairs. Brother Keanu chuckled. Without a word he just wrapped his arm around my waist. While the deck continues to accompany the steps to the room.

"I really want to know, brother. I'm curious" I said annoyedly while hitting his arm. "Get me mom?" said brother Keanu flat. "It's as important as this, brother didn't tell me? Does brother really want to replace me with Dania?" I said a little rough. "So talk to you, baby. Do not be excessive" said brother Keanu slightly whispered but firm.

"I'm sober, brother. I myself do not know when the miracle was recorded in my life so that my physique returned to perfection. If you really want Dania, I'm sincere. I'm gonna give up. I'll get away from you soon" I said screwed up. The clear thread flowed unstoppably again. My chest grew increasingly claustrophobic after speaking my mind and grew increasingly chaotic. Wh why? Half my soul rejected it.

"Darling.." said Brother Keanu as he approached me. Her eyes are staring at me. "Don't come any closer, brother. I'm begging...I want to be alone" I said amid my horror. Standing up Keanu looked at me. My move has been prevented. He said he also became mute.

"Don't pity me, brother... I don't need your pity" I said softly in the middle of my sobs that I felt more and more bitter. "Honey.listen to me" said brother Keanu again from where he stood. Her steps back when she saw my hand signal.

"Don't pity me, brother. I don't need it" I said repeatedly in the middle of my sobs.