As Strong as the Mentari, as Soft as the Moon

Episodes 112. What is This Desire?

Seven o'clock past five minutes. I'm still standing by the window. My eyes glared at the dark-looking sky covered in clouds. The sun still seems reluctant to share its rays. Only his silhouette seemed faint behind the black clouds that continued to cross the sky. Seeing the condition of the sky, my heart continued to whisper so that I would undo my desire this morning to meet my son, Rafan.

Again I took a long breath. And again I felt my breath so heavy. I don't know how I put it in a strand of words as a reflection of my current situation. I really don't know. There must have been a great turmoil that struck this soul.

Today is even two years old my son. But there is not a single bright spot about the grievances of a Vienna mama. This is the cause of this great upheaval in the soul. Every effort is being pursued by Mirza, from the moral approach to the legal path. But none of them produced results. It turns out that the influence of the Viennese mama in this city can close all business routes until I and or sister Mirza was not able to do much.

Ah, freefall back my tears. Each circle falls like a rain point that starts to greet the earth.

Geck.

Geck.

Geck.

"Non, there's a guest. Em, den Aiman." said mbok Jum behind closed doors. Hearing that I instantly shrunk my tears. My heart suddenly shone as he came. I do not deny if this heart hopes for the exciting news that I will get when he composes words while decomposing his smile. I too may soon be rushing out of the room and into the living room where Brother Mirza is.

"Sister.." I said when I saw him standing upright not budging a bit. He stood by the window and turned his back to me. Both of his hands were stored in his pockets. I don't know what he's thinking, until my call isn't heard. And once again I called him. This time complete with his name. "Sister Mirza." I said. Finally the owner himself twisted his body and stood straight in front of me. His eyes are fixed on me. I'm stunned. My eyes were at the corner of his eyes. There's a floating clear grain. And it certainly makes me curious as well as managed to bring chaos.

"What's up, sister...?" I try to try as calmly as possible. Without a word, sister Mirza just grabbed my head and buried it in the chest of the field. I gasp. And so, I kept quiet. Without a word, he also refused the slightest treatment. My heart is sure something has happened so did Mirza's sister.

"I'm sorry, Fara.." said Mirza sullenly as she tightened her arms. His voice trembled a little and I think there was a glare enveloping him. Long time my head rested on his chest. I don't know why I'm receiving all the treatment. Is possible....? Ah, naw. Of course it's not. Let the past story pass. I'm not gonna open it again.

"Fara think brother has done his maximum. Even more than me. So why do you regret it" I said, shrinking in tears. The clear thread just flowed when he heard the words of Mirza. And now my voice has become trembling and a little bit raucous because it is holding sobs.

"I'm sorry, Fara." he said again. "Last way, I'll meet the Vienna mama and ask her to give me a chance to meet Rafan" I said, sitting on a chair not far away. Along with that, Mirza's brother's deck loosened. He also sat not far from me. His eyes were wet with some clear fur still flowing. When I looked at him, his hand hurriedly rubbed him unceremoniously. Sometimes he glances at me while taking a deep breath. A thing that feels heavy to me.

"When are you going to see Viennese mama?" he said while staring at me. "What if this afternoon?" I asked while looking back at him.

Deg.

There was a strange sigh as our gazes clashed. A long-standing demon I don't feel. "Don't get carried away, Fara. Come on, it's just sympathy for his help to you.." I'm inward. "But this feeling is so real. The same swish as before. When we were together" I sat back down. This inner war has caused a shock that was immediately captured by Mirza. "What's up, Fara...?" he said worried while shifting his seat. "I...I.." I said gagu. My gaze had been defeated until I immediately stored it on my lap. While my hand started to play the end of my veil. At first glance I see a smile on Mirza's face. I'm sure he knows what my current anxiety is like.

"Well I'll pick you up at three in thirty minutes" said Mirza, shaking my head. The end of his gaze touched my eyeballs again. And it made me keep a stare on my lap even more. "Mara...Fara...You're still like before. Not changed one bit. At all. You're still the same Fara." said Mirza, who passed by. I followed his slightly shaky steps. I stare at his burly back with my heart. The back is always the back of my head, when I break my tears. The crying that has always existed since before I became his wife or until now. "You're good, brother." I muttered as I kept staring at him in the doorway.

"Yes." he said, twisting his body. I gasped and immediately turned my gaze to a book even though it was a bit clumsy. "Yes, Brother. What's up?" rikuh. Brother Mirza smiled. He also put his foot back towards me. My eyes are locked on Mirza's sister. Dismissed my hope to find a reason to turn my face away from him even a little. My heart beat is out of control. I don't know what rhythm is being played at the moment.

Sitting crouching sister Mirza in front of me. His eyes looked at me as if he was looking for something. Then he smiled. Such a sweet smile. "Sister.." I said softly. "Eemm." she said with a smile and kept looking at me. For a moment our gazes met again. I'm speechless. Unmoved.

"Em, mama would love to see you" said sister Mirza. His hand gently nosedived my nose. And that certainly made me realize from my daydream. "Mommy...?" I said while fixing my seat. "Yes.." said Mirza. And again his hand ruffled the tip of my head and passed.

I went back to silence. Only my eyes were still looking at each step until it was lost behind the wall. Before long I heard the sound of a car engine. The roar that was slowly getting away until it disappeared, mingled with this paddy air.