As Strong as the Mentari, as Soft as the Moon

Episodes 105. Blue Colored Envelopes

From Keanu." said doctor Faaz while thrusting a blue envelope. "Letter..?? , brother Keanu?" I said as I stared fixedly at the blue envelope in the hands of doctor Faaz. Shaking my hand grabbed it. My heart drizzled after knowing the reality that was happening. I passed by and drove the car quickly. The pace is able to compensate for the rain that continues to flutter the streets.

Four o'clock past twenty minutes. I closed the door a little rough when I got home. I also submerged the body in a soft mattress while breaking tears. Then I remembered the blue envelope Keanu had left to doctor Faaz.

I opened the blue envelope. There's a sadness I can't describe. I can't seem to bear it alone..Somehow I'm going to live this life without my beloved man. Plunge free of my tears as I open the letter sheet from inside the blue envelope. Especially when looking at the row of Keanu's handwriting. I drowned my face back on the bed trying to shrink my tears. But it was all a wasted effort. With Keanu's handwriting, my heart is turning bitter. Even the storm began to shake the boat that was originally calm.

After a while I reconcile my heart, I also began to look at the word for word that was set forth.

*My love, Fara...

Destiny has played us and our love. I'm sure, just like me you must feel a deep sense of heartache. Also the game that became. But we must continue to live the destiny that God has laid out for us.

Don't be upset, don't be sad let alone sad. I want my Fara to remain like the Fara I remember, strong, independent and always able to survive even in the middle of a storm. I want my Fara to remain like the Fara I remember, firmly staring at the sky bravely amidst the radiance of the sun. I also want my Fara to be like the Fara I remember, gently following the luminescent moonlight.

Love, Fara...

If Fara reads this letter, it means I'm "favourable". I'm no longer on the side of my life with you. Don't get angry or languish. Think of it as a step faster than you, so I'm ahead of you.

Love, Fara...

I have sent a message to the baby, to the branches of the tree that swing also on the waves that break the reef, that I love you very much.

Love, Fara...

Rest assured that I am happy because through you I can see fluffy buds, twilight or reddish scratches in the morning. Also how my son can grow and blossom with your affection. My eyes have become a part of your life. I really am happy...

Love, Fara...

I'm sure you'll take care of our son. A handsome boy like me and strong like you. Sorry, I can't help taking care of our little whiz. But I'm sure you're capable of doing all of that, especially in educating her. I'm sorry to tell you, I've reneged on my promise to always take care of you. Sorry*...

*Please forgive me...

Husband, Keanu*...

I drowned my face back on the bed. My crying became more. I've mentioned his name many times. "Sister Keanu." call me. I love you, Brother. I'm sorry I couldn't keep up with your request to be strong, independent and survive even in the middle of a storm. Because I am just an ordinary man. No matter how hard I try, it seems like I will be a sad, depressed and languishing Fara. Because my choice is to lose you. I can't afford to lose you a second time.

I'm sorry too. I lost my power with your mother who insisted on taking care of our child because her grief was so deep because of your loss. I couldn't see her prolonged crying either. Then I must learn to be willing to let our child under his care. And keep trying to keep me able to reach our son.

I'm sure you understand everything that's going on. And though your vision has been a light to me, yet it is not the same. My life will be quiet because it has lost you many times.

"Who...?" I asked when I heard a slow step behind the window. I immediately gasped and was alert. Slightly settles I approach the window and sharpen my ears. I'm sure there's someone behind the window. I gathered up all my courage and opened the window. And sure enough, I gasped as I found a shadow flashing at the end of the courtyard. I'm sure it wasn't Azam. "Who..!" I said half scream.

"What's up, madam...?" said Azam half ran up to me with two other people. "There are people." I said, pointing in a direction. "Sir.." he said to the other two. He immediately passed with the other three people in the direction I meant.

Yep...God, what will happen again in my life. Why is my sadness and anger not going away? Strengthen the servant yes, Robb...