As Strong as the Mentari, as Soft as the Moon

Episodes 125. I am Sorry...

"Is your love for Mirza really gone?" ask mama. "Mah...!" said brother Mirza. His tone was a little loud. "Mama just wants to see your happiness Mirza." said Mama as she passed. He said it was gone as his quick steps left me still standing.

This is a piece of memory for the events that happened at the end of my day. Memories that will soon form memories. It's beautiful, not bad. I don't know for sure. But certainly the memory is still dancing to make my sleep not sound.

Ah, love.I don't understand it myself. What I love, who I love have all been heartbreaking stories. Wh why? Because everything I love has been taken away by distance and time as well as by prolonged selfishness. Because what I love has become a road full of thorns and so winding.

My tears are now only a result of regret. Such a deep regret. A friend once said that too sorry for something will only make us forget to immediately prepare to improve. And neither can regret change the past, nor can worry change the future.

I repeatedly thought about what a friend of mine said until I came to the conclusion that I should move on. Yeah.move on from all my sadness, regret, pain and love. Love...? Ah, for this one it will take quite a long time. Or it could be that no other love can make me turn away from my handsome husband. The man who risked everything for me. A man who can take even the worst risks just to make me happy. A man whose body parts are now part of my body and my life. The man who made me a mother.

Considering it all my pills arise. Considering it all, my regrets are getting real. Given that all my pain is getting worse. And considering that all my love is growing worldwide. It turns out that the absence of a figure in love arouses all feelings, namely sadness, regret, and prolonged suffering.

I sobbed. My tears are not only in my silence, but also in my smiles and laughter. When I walk or run, that cry will always overshadow me. And tonight, my tears are coming back. This time as a fruit of my horror at the statements and questions of Mama Mellisa.

Drrt.

Drrt.

Drrt.

My phone shimmered. A short message graced my phone screen. "Look out the window" said Mirza. I'm stunned. What does this message mean? Then I finally tried to follow Mirza's message. While shrinking my tears I opened my window. For a moment I felt the coldness of the Bayu washing my face and part of my body.

"MasyaAllah." I said as I stared at the colorful lights. I'm takjud. Butbut wait...It turns out that the light forms letters. My eyes were ceaselessly staring at the rows of lights. "I am sorry." I said reading a row of lights.

Drrt.

Drrt.

Drrt.

"I apologize for the incident this afternoon. It's not really my request" Mirza said on the other end of the phone. I took a long breath. "You know, brother. For me it's not a problem. I can understand the excitement of a mother when she sees her child has not been separated from the shadow of grief" I said. My voice was also a little bit shaky.

"You okay...?" ask Mirza again. "Of course, Brother. Oya, where's brother?" my spoken. "Do you see my cell phone's light? That's where I am." said Mirza while playing his glowing phone. "Since when did a Mirza become a coward to meet me?" I said while laughing. "When did it start..? Em, yeah. Since my love is unrequited." he said. This time he chuckled.

"Maybe he's tired, brother." I said again a little joking. Mirza laughed again.

"Yes, Em. I apologized too." he said. "For what...?" I was a little curious. "I can't wipe away your tears right now. I really wanted to do it, but there was a fortress in the way" he said.

"Where did you know I was crying...?" my spoken. "From the breeze that reported it to me" he said. "Gombal.dasar seducer" I said with a small laugh. There was a strange swish that was snaking at the end of my heart. The murmur that was warm and a little bit of gurgling danced a strange dance.

"Thank you, brother. It makes me laugh" I said. "Thank God Fara was able to laugh again. I'll calm down to leave you" Mirza said.

Deg.

What does Mirza mean by leaving? Will he eventually move on? If so, I would be very grateful. Instead of giving thanks, I was silent. It turns out there was a side of my soul that was doing rebellion. And ask for more explanation.

"Why silence...?" ask Mirza at the end of the phone. "It feels strange to hear the word leave. Like a parting word" said while staring at the light of his cell phone from a distance. "Separation...? I don't know. Possibly yes. Probably not" said Mirza. Ah, only a poet speaks so long. And of course I don't understand it. Because in fact I am not a person as smart as that who is immediately able to interpret every parable word or implied meaning.

"I don't understand, brother." said I who actually made him laugh. "Darling.forgive me. I'm kidding. I want to leave some time. There are jobs that cannot be represented. Maybe a week or two." he said, which made me short. There was a sudden relief that just slipped on the tip of my heart. I don't know why that is.

"Are you just worried that I'm leaving?" said Mirza, who I answered with laughter. "I'm happy, Fara if so. After I return, I will collect your promise to me" he said, leaving me speechless.

"Promise...?" shortened say. "You forgot..? Remember that." he said, who then hung up the phone.

"Gosh.." I said annoyed when he did.