The System In My Head
All points of the nuts

Even after cleaning up, Katie was self-conscious about her surprised face... "You have a beard with me..."

...

Ben tried to justify it. "The best way to cure a phobia is to 'face' your fears..."

...

Then, Ben frowned when he realized something, but his expression soon subsided. 'No, obviously not enough for a gender dent or a yaoi tag...Let's stay focused on marketing; my biography doesn't need to serve everyone...'

Katie's still moody. "You make me look like Gandalf the White..."

Ben tried to make her feel better. "It could be worse. If you look like Gandalf the Grey, I should check my diet..."

Instead of finding it funny, Katie sulked further ...

Seeing that it failed, Ben tried reason. "It wasn't intentional, believe me ... How can I know ... You'll fall off a cliff with the Balrog ...

Do a skydiving battle by ignoring paranormal laws...

Turn your class into a magic swordsman...

Then it fell through a crater plot and landed in a lake of water***-pull-water?"

...

Katie was about to speak, but Ben put his finger on her lips. "I know what you want to say.that there's a wider universe down there that hasn't been explored in the novel because Tolkien died first...

At some point you have to wonder: aren't I, the audience, who the real victim is here?

... That's why it's not my fault."

"I'm home." said Katie.

'I still expect you to ride at the last second to save the day at Helm's Deep.try not to make your troops hide behind that hill too long for your dramatic entrance... DON'T WE ALL DIE!'

Seeing Katie still pouting, Ben tried once again to comfort her. 'Maybe fantasy isn't his cup of tea. She's probably more of a sci-fi girl.

He snapped his finger in front of himself. "Katie, look, I'm a scientist. There is a principle in quantum physics, that particles exist as waves and particles at the same time that explains what happens to electrons in my mayonnaise. This is called wave-particle quality.. .

So you know, you'll get splashed or splashed no matter what ... Your mistake is to look at it and make it real ... "

...

When Katie starts slapping her arms, Ben wonders if she's a creationist...

After persuading him, they made up. Although joking, Ben checked several times that he was fine afterwards. He even drove her home, though every minute was precious to her now, which showed his generosity.

'It's good he lives two blocks away.' he thought as they traveled.

***

Ben returns to his dorm room, having dropped Katie off, and now sits on his bed while opening his system screen. With time running out, the first thing he checked when he returned was his death mission. "Is that enough?"

When he saw her...Ben breathed a tired breath...There's no change. "So, what is meant by seducing?"

He tried to get a clarification, but the system would not elaborate further. He just knew he needed to do more. 'If it takes oral or regular, I have a chance .. but if this ends up being another parable for true love .. I will die because sheep want the end of Hollywood!'

Ben rubs his temple while contemplating the idea that his execution may have been caused by the same forces that produced Julia Roberts' romantic comedy.

...

He groaned in frustration. 'Does every romantic movie HAVE TO have a rich tall man successfully fall in love with the number 6? ...With unreasonable expectations, no wonder it was so difficult for me to close the 7... I mean, I know they serve the fantasy of the average moonhog audience.but what kind of basic shit can only enjoy mindless wish fulfillment?'

Then, he grimaced, as he remembered his web novel reading list.

...

"Sighs...All right, here's what mayonnaise is by the way, let's check what achievements I got." Ben opened the system notification.