The System In My Head

We're trapped in a caveman's body

Beluga gave Ben his first lecture. "Benjamin, I'll tell you this. Mastering the art of seduction is a long pursuit, but not as difficult as you think to begin with. Okay, lesson one. Stand up and repeat after me. the most handsome and most charming man you've ever seen.'"

Ben hesitated but followed his instructions. "I'm the best toilet—"

"No! Tell me..." Beluga.

...

Ben tried again. "...You...the most handsome and most charming man I've ever seen?"

Beluga looked at the mirror he had hung on the wall by his side. "I knew. Okay, great. You have potential."

...

Ben leaned over to Antonio and whispered, "Some of the things he said are interesting, but is this guy serious? Or is he just fishing for compliments?"

Antonio replied confidently, "Trust me, he's not a joke. He is a legend in our community. His representative in the forum was the best."

Eyebrow Ben linked. 'Did he say forum? Is this an epic 4chan troll? I don't know what it means, but it doesn't sound reliable at all...'

When Beluga finished admiring his shadow, he continued to speak. "Benjamin, we're joking here, but you can't just walk in here and be my student. You have to prove yourself first. Only the bravest men were qualified to become true pick-up artists. I need you to show me that you're willing to do what it takes."

Benjamin glanced at him. "Is wearing a thong not enough?"

Beluga replied, "No, that's my gift to you. Free style tips. Next is the eligibility test in the field."

Ben thought, 'Save your goddamn gift next time! ...Will he make me wear a thong in public?' Ben is unhappy with this test but decides to see what Beluga proposes first.

***

The three went to a public shopping mall nearby. Being midday, it was full of people. They are near a food court that has many cafes and people sitting down to eat. Ben looked around. There are many women around.

When people pass by them, some will point to the Beluga. That's not a surprise. He hasn't changed at all. He wore a purple pimp hat and a bathrobe with pride.

Ben wanted to run away from him, but he also wore the ********* under him, so he also did not uphold high morals.

Beluga puts his hand on Ben's shoulder. "OKs. This is what you're gonna do. You see that woman sitting down? Approach him and say this..." He gave Ben his version of the divine line.

Ben's eyes widened in shock. "Are you serious?"

Beluga looked into his eyes. "I've never told a joke in my life."

...

"You're worried, right? Scared?" ask Beluga.

Ben hesitated but nodded.

Beluga said, "Look. Think of it like this. What's the worst thing that could happen? Say you open it and he refuses you. Then you'll be in the same place as you are now. Isn't that the worst case scenario? ? Why should you care about that? Why did it stop you?"

Ben blinked a few times while processing the information. "But..."

Beluga. "Nothing but. You know why you're scared? That's because your body's been programmed since caveman times. Human society is advanced but our bodies are left behind. That's not surprising. It takes thousands or even hundreds of thousands of years to "

Beluga continued. "We live in a country full of police where even fighting can get you sent to jail and prosecuted. Civilians. There is nothing to fear, but your body is still hard-wired to be nervous about the impending deadly fight against the cavemen. That's why even though your mind knows that you have nothing to lose, your body refuses,"

These words startled Ben's mind. 'really? ...Why am I so nervous?' He stood there for a minute imagining what could happen if he approached the woman and failed. Moments later, she realized ... Nothing is that bad! Most likely, he would say no and that was it.

'He's right ...' Ben understood the truth and his nerves eased a little. He looked down and clenched his fists. So what if he refuses? Hasn't he been rejected by everyone all his life?

*Hurping*

When Ben looked up, his eyes changed. They are filled with determination. He took a deep breath, glanced at the woman, and walked towards her.

"Sorry, miss..."

The woman was surprised an unknown teenager was talking to her, but answered kindly. "Yes?"

Ben recalled the sentence Beluga had given him. He doesn't know if it will work, but Antonio says Beluga is a legendary master. He chose to trust her for now. Still, his nerves were trembling and he had to calm down. 'You can do this. Remember, there is no harm. What's the worst thing that could happen? He will say no and you will leave. Not a big deal.'

The woman was watching Ben. This is a good boy with an honest face. He seemed like a reliable student, the future of America.

Wearing his pure expression, Ben looked at the woman. He exudes the truth. With bright eyes and a clear heart, he said his best sentence.

"I like your tits."

...

Ben walked back to Beluga with a red palm print on his face.