The System In My Head

Ronald McDonald learned about insta-date

When the system sent Ben 200 points all of a sudden, he thought it must have given him a partial refund for that garbage banana peel. That must have been. He hoped that was all...

Ben exits the subway station to Union Square, a famous plaza in Manhattan. It is one of the landmarks of the bustling city. As he walked around, he saw a scene: old men playing chess, artists selling paintings, musicians playing melodies. In the center of this arts and culture center, stands the purple Grimace of McDonald's, also known as the Beluga.

Antonio was also there, wearing a black and white striped shirt.

'Is Antonio... the Hamburglar?' Ben stared at his own clothes: a yellow sweater with a red decoration... 'Oh shit, and I look like Ronald McF*cking Donald.' It was a completely unintentional McDonald's theme night. He shook his head, unsure if this was a good or bad sign.

The three catch up and Ben asks about some of the problems he has. As Beluga suggested, Ben did not call Katie, the pink-haired girl, for a few days after he took her number. In fact, she did not call at all; she texted him 3 days later. Since then, they have had several text exchanges.

Ben refrains from asking her out because she explained that she was busy last week. So he plans to set it up this week. As for the other two numbers, one failed the conversation and the other did not respond at all. He asked Beluga why this happened.

Beluga replied, "That's how. Scaly female. Even if the female seems to like you very much, it does not mean it will go anywhere. They're like cats, and in New York .. there's floss flying in all directions."

He sighed. "That's the nature of the game. To some degree, luck should be on your side so that nothing gets in the way. Another problem is ... You should not look desperate, but you also can not wait too long. . You have limited time to turn a number into a meeting because the life of a number will decrease. If you wait too long, it'll die."

"How long until lead dies?" ask Ben.

Beluga shrugs his shoulders. "depends. Sometimes 1 or 2 weeks. Sometimes a few hours. Women have short memories. Unless they really like you, you can say that they like 'Give it to destiny.' If they don't meet you before your impression weakens on them, they'll put you into the ill-fated category in their minds and forget you. It doesn't matter why they don't meet you, because women don't think with logic, but with emotion. Then they rationalize things after they happen.'

Ben realizes that he must soon arrange this date with Katie and Miyuki. If he delayed any longer, he could lose that clue, and consequently his life.

Antonio added something. "That's why the best thing is insta-date."

"Insta-date?" ask Ben.

"Rather than getting a number and suffering from the possibility of a chipped chick or dead lead, you can try getting a date right away."

Ben's ears are sharpening. "How can you do that?"

Antonio said, "Look around. What do you see outside the square?"

Antonio nodded. "You understand. One option is to have a girl join you for a quick coffee. That would count as a first date, skipping the whole troublesome step of turning the number into an actual meeting."

Ben asked, "Will they agree?"

Beluga answered. "If they're not in a hurry to go somewhere, it's not too difficult than getting numbers. The key is to be assertive, but not necessary. Antonio, you've been practicing this. Why don't you give Ben an example of that."

Antonio's eyes became bright, glaring confidently. He approached a woman who admired some works of art. After a few minutes of chatting, he pointed to Starbucks behind him. With a slight hesitation, he nodded his head with a smile. The two of them entered the coffee shop and joined the ranks.

Ben's eyes widened. The last time he saw Antonio make an approach, it ended with the cries of a bald eagle and the women fleeing into the wilderness. Antonio must have trained because the current approach is very impressive. He made it into an insta-date on the first try. Ben and Beluga walk into Starbucks, sit at a table so they can observe.

Antonio's interaction went well. While they waited in line, he made the woman laugh, and soon they received their coffee and sat down.

A minute later, the woman was quiet and walked out, leaving the sad Antonio staring at her coffee.

"Everything goes so fast..." Ben still can't believe it.

Beluga added, "Yes, I want to know what the strategy is there .. order ice venti water with 7 pumpkin sauce and whipped cream on it. That was the beginning of the end ... "

Ben frowned in annoyance. "Don't forget the 8 Splenda packs he added by hand when they sat down ..."

Beluga shook his head. "It wasn't a good performance. The last straw .. is when he actually takes out a straw and starts licking whipped cream in slow motion with his eyes closed..."

Ben nodded. "And the moans he said while doing so ..."

They both shiver.

'What is he thinking?' they're wondering.

They sat in silence for a long time.