The System In My Head

The heavenly treasure

Sitting in the seat of his toilet ruler, Ben made a motion of sticking a mysterious finger into the air.

*Fwoo***Fwoo*

He's practicing Hydro Nozle Pump. The skill book had sent the technique information into his mind.

"I know kung fu..."

He visualized the opponent's seaweed during the shadow boxing round ...

The sink's tap water covered the sound of his secret technique. Ben turns it on for too long in the bathroom and is afraid Fariq is suspicious...

However, Fariq did not hesitate as he always benefited people from the doubt. 'Ben is making love...'

Ben's deception tricked prying ears. 'Alright, the skill seems good. I will wait to see the effect when I try it on a woman. For now, let's focus on getting more loot.' He opened the shop, still with enough points for 3 more Intermediate Level Mystery Boxes.

[Intermediate-Range Mystery Box: 1000 points - Contains random items anywhere from general to epic classes]

He bought another. 'If I can get another good item like Squirtle Water Pump, I'm sure I will definitely survive!'

A few seconds later, Ben glanced at his gift.

[Black Bunny Onesie(Item, Common) x1 - Onesie for someone who wants to live as a black rabbit.]

...

'F* ck! Whatisthis? The onesie? Isn't this for the baby?' It was a one-piece black sweater all over the body and pants with the ears of a giant black rabbit in its hood. There is also a poof tail on the back, attached to the buttocks cover that is opened for bathroom affairs. 'Okay, that failed. Whatever, I have two more, I'll be fine.' Ben bought another Mystery Box.

Moments later she saw a flesh-colored hoodie T-shirt. It had a giant print on the front of Nicolas Cage's smiling face... 'I'm dead!'

[Nicolas Cage Face Hoodie(Item, Common) x1 - This is a hoodie that keeps you both warm and Nicolas Caged]

'...What the fuck? Who even thought of an item like this?!? Her face was the size of my chest. You can see his crazy eyes from space!'

From hope to despair. Two useless items in a row. This momentum is not in Ben's favor. 'If I don't get anything decent on the next draw ...' With luck like this, he needed to reconsider his chance of dying within a few days. '...Damn, it's not over until it's over!' Ben bought another Mystery Box, the last one. It sat on his lap as he exhaled, staring at him while steadying his will. A moment later, his gaze became firm. 'Open!'

Light blue light appeared from the box, but different from before—much brighter! A flash! Even with his eyes closed, Ben felt the difference. The light filled the bathroom so it looked like the deep sea!

As it subsides, Ben is holding a new item: an opaque orange pill bottle with a white cap.

'What is this?' There is a white label on the bottle with small words. He took her to take a closer look.

It reads, "Pil D* ck."

...

After obtaining three absurd items in a row, Ben did not have much confidence left in the system. He saw the description.

[**** And Pill(Item, Epic) x1 - Medicinal cultivation pills to increase size***** promptly and permanently. Created by the Divine Alchemist the Mes*m. May have side effects]

...

When Ben read Epic, he stopped breathing. When he read the effect in the first sentence of the description, he almost ate the entire bottle. When he read the second sentence, the alchemist's stupid name cooled it down. When he read the last sentence, he became alert.

'Item epic ... that's definitely why flash unboxing is so bright. It's breathtaking. Still, side effects...' When he asked the system about the side effects, he simply said that the side effects may vary or may not exist at all. It did not provide further details. Ben stared at the bottle for a long time. 'Should I take it?'

He's not sure. Side effects could mean death or worse his male siblings could fall... Ben's mind also thought of another possibility; what if he learned to speak and come alive?

...

She's shivering. Ben's not looking for a co-pilot... It's unclear what could have happened, but the Perverted Divine Alchemist doesn't sound like the reputable seller he found on Amazon. , not that Ben can get a warranty *****...

'Speaking of which, this is the cultivation pill of an alchemist ... What does that mean? Is cultivation on Earth? Or does the system pull things from another world?' No matter how he asked, the system did not give him an answer.

'Supremely, I don't have the luxury to care about such things right now ...' Ben looked at the bottle and sighed. While this won't help me much in picking up, it's no secret that some women are lifelong members of a large johnson amusement park... Right now, my younger brother is not quite reaching the minimum height requirement to ride that rollerhoster...

Ben's manhood is average-sized. If he could help his younger brother grow up, Ben would have nothing but pride... It might even help him make a more interesting case in the bedroom negotiations...

'This could be my secret weapon tonight.' Ben has a date schedule that night and he needs to increase his chances of getting close to her. He clenched his jaw and made a decision. After opening the pill bottle, the white round pill rolled into his hand. A unique smell drifted upwards towards him.

'It smells like ass...' Ben's holding his nose. 'Isn't a cultivation pill supposed to have a heavenly scent? What a misleading advertisement...' He shook his head. Still, after staring at the pill for a few more seconds, he opened his mouth and threw it inside.

...

"Ak! Uhh!" He's choking!

Ben rushes to the sink, puts his head inside, and pours water into his mouth to help bring it down...

A few seconds later, he bent over the sink, panting. 'How do these bastards in cultivation novels always take their pills without water?!? They just mislead the public so they choke to death!'

Suddenly, a wave of dizziness blew Ben's mind. It was like most of his blood and body energy was circulating down to his reserve brain...

The pills started working.