The System In My Head
Troll Army
The comment section of Ben's feature exploded! Eyes lit! 'I will be a star!'
Then he read what the people said:
"If these nerds can do it, I can too!"
"I can't believe I'd be worse than Oompa-Loompa."
"This guy looks familiar. Didn't he from the shoppin meme make me jump? Shlomo?"
Many young people find Ben's writing inspiring, but not for the reason he wants—they all use it to step on his head!
Despite that, he somehow maintained his trembling smile... 'I think it's still good. At least the comments are not negative.' Then he scrolls down:
"How do they put this fool in front of the site? He looks like the kind of guy who started using steroids to play musical chairs."
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"He looks like Jesse Eisenberg if he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome."
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"She looks like an undercover cop while staying in elementary school."
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For the first time as a content creator, Ben meets the ubiquitous Internet haters. That is also not the end of spiteful comments:
"Little whore, I'll fuck your soul in hell!"
Ben shook his head. 'Damn, 4 channelers are here ...'
When most writers read hate comments like this early in their careers, they become upset. Sometimes, to the point it affects their writing. However, after thinking about how to respond, Ben just sneered and flicked his finger, as these fools just walked into his dragon cave without even realizing it...
The thing is, Male's Health already gave him an author account to promote "author-fans interaction." So Ben plans to do just that. He went even further, with the interaction in his mind being kind of to create lasting memories, which fans would never forget, without the intervention of an expensive therapist...
Most commenters have user accounts that link to their social media with photos. So Ben takes the time to get to know them, visiting their pages one by one, which allows him to customize a heart-touching message. That was how he began to show his appreciation:
"You seem to be the type of person running for city council so you can petition to put speed bumps everywhere, just so you can drive with a butt plug."
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"You look like a grown man living in your parents' attic because your sister beat you in a wrestling match to live in a bigger basement."
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"You look like an ice cream sandwich that Jonah Hill bit and then threw away because there's no point in ruining his diet."
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"If Trump finishes building the wall over Mexico, you look like where he's going to build the next wall, just around you."
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"You seem like the kind of guy whose mother collects fireflies every night because they can't afford electricity."
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"You seem like the kind of guy who gets angry at the guy sitting next to you for not clapping when the plane lands."
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"You look like if a character from the Rugrats grows up to work on Bubba Gump's Shrimp ship."
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"You look like the kind of guy who watches movies about opponents before playing football."
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"You look like the kind of guy who gets sent to jail because he's lonely."
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"It looks like you're working 2 jobs to pay for a PhD in clown college."
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"You look like if scientists combined the DNA of a guinea pig and a bicycle seat."
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"You seem like the kind of guy who tries on underwear before buying it."
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"You look like a debtor with a peanut allergy."
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"You look like a waitress in someone's colon."
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After Ben expressed his personal thanks to each of his loyal fans for their support, those who went online and read his words, almost fell back into their seats!
That's not the end of it either! Headache, cough, blurred vision! Their symptoms vary, but after reading Ben's message to them, they all feel unwell!
It was the effect of the title Ben!
[Poison Dragon (good): Your verbal insults carry a slight bonus of soul damage proportional to the effectiveness of each insult on target]
"You look like the kind of guy who combs his hair in the toilet."
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"You look like a man riding a golf cart on the highway."
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"You look like if Pez's dispenser comes alive."
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Reading this, Ben's eyes flared, accepting the challenge. Opening his draconic jaw, he spat out his poison breath!
"You look like everything you have is exchanged for tickets from an arcade."
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"You seem like the kind of guy who uses peanut butter as a lubricant."
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"You look like Tom Hanks if he's a hot dog-eating champ."
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"You look like a guy who does voiceover for gay porn."
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"You look like a DJ at a Quidditch game."
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In between rounds, Ben adjusts his signature. So now, each of his comments ends with his title—Poison Dragon. Everyone who reads it thinks it's very unusual for someone in a health magazine to call themselves that way.
After Ben's last reply, which shocked everyone watching, all the negative comments stopped, disappearing just like that, as if the critics had nothing more to say. However, not because they did not want to talk, but they could not!
Migraine, vertigo, dizziness! Their symptoms are worsening! Their morale and health bars hit rock bottom! That was the end of the game! The vandals are losing!
From the digital sidelines, hundreds of people watch this entire process in amazement.
"Oh my God, this cursing ability ..."
"Is the poster okay? Can someone check that they're not suicidal?"
"He's good at lifting weights, but his strongest muscle is his tongue!"
Ben did not know, but among the large crowd, dozens of hot-blooded youths were both among the original curses and the spectators were rereading his words with bright eyes, and there was no doubt that he could not be heard, everyone thought the same thought: 'There is one I can follow. There's one I can call King...'
They are the dwarves, not the trolls, who for the first time admit that they are inferior. Who for the first time, found someone they could admire. Who for the first time, found someone worthy to lead them into battle! It was the birth of Ben's troll army!
There was nothing official yet to tie them down, but everyone who had those strong feelings vowed to pay attention to this author, and to remember his name—Benjamin Romero, known as the Poison Dragon—.
Meanwhile, Ben watches all of this, drinking Yoohoo...
This was the first time he felt fame, and although bitter, there was no taste more suited to poison dragons...
Actually, it wasn't the first time Ben's face had appeared in the public eye. Although unbeknownst to him, he had been in several memes before, but on this occasion, his real name was attached to the content. That's what allows the system to recognize it. After all, it made him happy to obtain another stat point out of nowhere, giving him more confidence to complete his current death challenge.
*sipp**sipp*
After making sure to get every drop of chocolate goodness, Ben dumps the drink box and decides to start a business. There's still one more thing to take care of—spend the points.
Although a lot had happened today, his plans from the previous day had not changed, so the only thing to spend his points on was a high-level mystery box. Knowing that, Ben navigates to the shop screen, spends 5000 points, and buys a silver box. Without delay, he opened it to receive his goods.
A few seconds later ...in his hand, there was a pair of large yellow glasses.
[Beer Goggles(Item, Uncommon) x1 - Bends light in such a way as to make an unattractive woman seem more attractive]
...
Reading this, Ben shook his head. She really doesn't use this because she dates pretty girls. However, the trash of one person is the pleasure of another ... "I'll give it to Antonio for his birthday." He knew his cousin would appreciate it because it would broaden his perspective, or perhaps narrow it down...
Finished discussing the benefits of the system, Ben prepares to start learning, as his phone rings. Looking at the ID, he saw it was a call from Miyuki, so he picked it up. "Hi dear."
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He could hear her breathing but there was a long pause before she spoke. "Benjamin-san..."
He sat upright in his chair as he tried to focus on what Miyuki was saying. "What's wrong? I can't understand you."
For the next few seconds, only Miyuki's unstable breath passed through the phone. Then, he answered. "Benjamin-san, can you come to my room now?"
He narrowed his eyes, realizing he sounded troubled. Her body language reading skills also include knowledge of certain sound patterns, not because she needs them when her tone is very low. "What's wrong?"
"Can you just come?"
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Ben's face became serious. "I'll be there soon."
Then, he hangs up, and Ben stares at his phone for a long time. He did not understand what was going on but he had never heard Miyuki's voice so desperate. 'He called 'someone' and it almost sounded like he wasn't alone." Taking a deep breath, Ben thought of the possibility and how he could prepare.
A while later, she walked out of her room, lined up to see what problems Miyuki was having.
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