THE PERFECT TIME TO DIE

(CHAPTER 43) KISS AND MAKE UP

KISS AND MAKE UP

The break time came, the class children scattered out of the class. While Keira and I were sitting quietly in our seats, after the incident, we had not spoken to each other.

He hurt me, just by looking at me. Why did our relationship become like this, I was tired of the fact that I hurt her again. I was like the darkness that cast a smile on his face, today he had a bad day and it was all because of me.

I just looked at him, saw that he just smiled back at me. And I hated him, because he kept smiling at me even though I kept hurting him. Old stories keep repeating, same stories, stories where I hurt you.

Keira was so good at torturing me, she took out two boxes of rice that she brought with her while smiling. Keira kept making me a villain, this sincere smile lost its meaning. If he doesn't smile and loudly curse me what I'm doing, is it possible that my feelings will be better.

While I was preoccupied with silly thoughts, this foolish girl continued to torment me with her smile. All my hopes, big and small, have their names written there. But I kept hurting him, and I'm sorry about it.

“You're disappointed ya?” My toot.

“We eat yuk?” Keira said trying to shift the subject.

I just exhaled my breath, staring at him. Although I saw him disappointed, I did not regret my decision. It would be better if he hated me than he had to have that destiny. We eat our food box, with silence filling our table.

This vision drove his smile out of my life, even though I didn't like it. But I was determined to see all his future, while looking for a gap and trying to change it.

Without rain, there would be no rainbow. And I promise I'll give her a rainbow of colors in her life, which will put a smile on her face. Made a beautiful screenplay for her, where Keira and I were in the story. And it was happiness that ended the story.

After school, our mouths are still locked. This silence tormented me, yet I still did not know how to deal with it. We just sit at our tables, pretending to be busy with each other. And I don't know how much time we've spent just putting my books and stationery in the bag.

Circling various strategies in my brain, to break this silence. I deeply regret and condemn myself for what happened today, for putting a wound on his heart.

“Today..?” I said.

“Sorry .. I have an appointment with mamah.” Keira said while cutting my words.

I just fell silent, and buried this intention. Silence also met in this place, just staring at each other while guessing the contents of each head. I also agreed with his intention, he needed time alone to make peace with his sense of regret towards me. Keira then left me on my bench, and I still see her sadness with her attitude. And this is the first time we've spent time together at school.

We cannot guess when and where happiness will come into our lives. But uniquely, we can know and feel how a sadness will soon come in our lives. Of all the things I regret in life, I regret always blaming others and circumstances. When things don't go my way. Because of that, I was too late to be strong.

I used to believe that ignorance is happiness. Because of that, I can tolerate a lot of things. And pain, one of them. But I regret that decision. If only I could use my time to be strong. Maybe I will not be confused now, and have a good way and solution to overcome all the hassles of life.

I know, there's no time to complain. However, I just can't understand. In this world, there are a lot of bad people.

But why, God only oppresses us both. Everyone keeps moving forward, but why do I always lose

my way. If this only happened to me, maybe I would accept it. Because

it's nothing new in my life. However, imagining it happening to Keira.

I really can't accept it.