Damar For Kinanti

forgive, but not forget

" What did you say to your mother yesterday? he sobbed sobs when he came out of your house?"

ask the Winda the next day.

" I only made her sob sob sob sob sob sob sobbing once, but she made my mother sob for years until she finally died..

I thought I was still good." said Damar while exhaling his cigarette smoke, he did not look at Winda at all.

" You must forget the painful things of the past Dam." said Winda kalem,

" I've forgiven, though never once did his mouth say sorry.."

" then why do you still talk about your old wounds?"

Damar smiled bitterly,

" forgiving does not mean forgetting..

don't blame my memory for being too strong.."

Winda was silent for a moment, he knew the condition of Damar's heart was not good since yesterday the day after.

His face implied wounds and disappointments that he seemed too difficult to express.

" I'm going to move house after Yoga's wedding" she said after switching off her cigarette in the ashtray.

" Then Kaila and Joseph?" ask Winda,

" just take care of them,

find a good day, after marriage she's obliged to follow her husband, I don't let her go back to mother's house." Winda looked at Damar seriously,

" What if Joseph is not yet established?"

" I don't want to be cruel, but they're the ones who make trouble themselves,

let's see how deep their love is when hardships begin to occur in the household."

" We can't just take it off Dam. assuage your emotions.."

Damar smiled wryly at the word Winda said.

" Life difficulties can shape a person, or,

there's no harm in letting both of them creep in from below.."

" Yusuf might be able to, but Kaila would be shocked?"

" astonished? why would it be a problem if his love for Joseph was big enough?"

" Damar?"

" Tell Kaila, after marriage, all the responsibilities fall on her husband, both the place to stay, the tuition and the needs..

sampean and Yoga are not allowed to help in any way.."

adamant with a calm look.

Willa did not answer, he just remained silent.

He realized that Damar was in a state of disappointment with what Kaila had done,

so it is better for Winda to no longer argue with Damar and let his beloved sister vent her anger in other ways.

" Yusuf still does not want to go home." said the father to his wife.

The man just sat next to his wife because he was too tired.

" Let her calm herself down while thinking what is the best move." Anita stepped into the house.

Since yesterday the woman has never been off her father's back.

" I felt no good steps, seeing the anger that was pensive by Damar, it felt like my chest was tight..

you can't imagine how Joseph would be pressured for this mistake." lamented the father.

" Sir... not kapok huh..??

judging someone superficially will always cause conflict in your own mind,

I should be grateful that this problem is over with the ramps.."

" That ramps are visible on the outside, Damar is a very calculated businessman, therefore he can be more successful than his father at this age,

His simple and friendly attitude is dangerous..

he must have made the calculations on Joseph." The lethargic old face was really not calm.

" Especially after he found out that I was trying to match Yusuf with Mr. Handoko's son..

maybe I should look for materials from another factory.."

Anita shook her head slowly,

" Sir.put all the thoughts of the father's uncertain thoughts..

now we must focus on Joseph's marriage.."

" Yes, sir, nelongso's mother is half dead to see our child." interrupted the mother who had been silent since resigned.

" Yes ma'am.Perhaps if you do not introduce Yusuf to Mr. Handoko's daughter, Kaila will not abort the contents yes ma'am..?" the father again threw a disappointed look on the floor of his house.

" Not necessarily sir. already, do not blame yourself, now we must think of Joseph's marriage..

they will not throw any feast for Kaila and Joseph,

did father and mother get Joseph's heart married without a feast?" ask Anita.

" no.. We should have a party for our son sir, this is the wedding we're hoping for, isn't it? eventually Joseph got married too.. Despite the incident like this, but mother could not bear to not give him a proper marriage?" the mother persuaded the husband.

" Yes ma'am.we have a feast.we will give our best to Joseph, because we are also like that to Anita first." the father nodded while holding his wife's hand.

" Then let Anita take care of sir..

Anita will communicate with the Kaila family.."

The father just nodded, apparently he no longer had the energy to make a decision.

Damar knew that Kaila had just got out of Joseph's car, both of them looking freshly returned from the hospital, still pale on Kaila's face.

Both of them were only bowed when Damar passed by just like that,

let alone say hello, raising his head oun Yusuf and Kaila had no guts.

Damar who is usually warm and affectionate to Kaila is now completely indifferent.

Let alone looking, glancing not.

Damar just kept walking straight through the rice field area, heading to the factory.

" What about Damar?!" greet the father who just came home looking for grass, his shoulders carry a sack full of fresh grass.

" Wangsul sir? (home sir?)" asked Damar to throw a smile,

" no mas, monggo rumiyen..?! (yes, let's go first.?!)" answer the father walking with quick steps.

" Nggih sir." replied Damar to let the tired-looking father walk first.

Damar walked quietly, his eyes staring at the old back that preceded his steps, the old back that was dripping with sweat might have wetted all the clothes he was wearing.

Damar suddenly fell down, he slowed his pace, he slowed down,

shame pierced his heart.

Before him was an old male figure whose even wrinkles were already visible,

every day he had to walk for kilos just to find grass, and the grass was sold to cattle owners.

The money you get is not much, maybe only enough to buy one kilo of rice..

then why is he as young as this easily disappointed and give up on the situation.

Once again Damar's heart was pierced by the nelangsa, he saw the father's foot step without complaining, he saw,

walking on broken asphalt full of pebbles, rough.piercing.it must be hot, because it's midday.

There were no shoes or hats that he wore to protect himself from the scorching sun and sharp pebbles.

Though Damar used to see scenes like this, but somehow today his heart is filled with fishermen.

The figure of his father arrived into his memory,

he is always smiling and rarely angry..

a father who is happy and loves his mother..

the father who always diligently stroked Damar's head every time he would go to school and go to bed.

Before Kaila's mother entered the Damar family, her father was a patient and hardworking man.

Damar remembered right, Mr and Mbah kung always worked diligently in the fields, there was no tractor engine at that time..

the paddy field was plowed with the help of two cows, and Damar always loved to sit on the wood of the plow which the cow had dragged.

Beautiful memories are so beautiful that they can make Damar teary-eyed.

" What's up?" ask Kinanti when her husband looks moody after coming home from the factory,

his face was lethargic, and not excited.

" Nothing.I just saw the father earlier.." replied Damar threw himself beside Kinanti who was sitting on the bed while reading his favorite classic novel.

" Father father? why?" Kinanti put down her novel and touched her husband's forehead, massaging Damar's head slowly.

" It's okay." Damar replied.

" It's okay to be moody..?"

" i'm a little tired.."

I know what her husband is feeling..

his disappointment with Kaila was not playing.

" Kaila and Yusuf were here last time. looking for a mas. they said they would come here again later tonight." said Kinanti,

" Let's go tonight, walk the street..

anything is possible, distended.." said Damar while smiling and then kissed Kinanti's stomach.

" Why go? they need you as a substitute for me.."

" no, Kaila doesn't need me." said Damar in a deep voice, making Kinanti look at her husband with a doubtful look.