Colorless Aurora

insomnia

It didn't feel like it had been more than two hours I was sitting on this reef, I don't know what I was daydreaming about, I didn't remember it, just looking at the sea and enjoying the humid atmosphere.

Seeing the waves that roll beautifully, hit the reef until the water jumped watering me with a beautiful speck. if I look at it with a happy feeling, of course when looking together with Rea.

she's the girl who misses the sky, I realize myself why I want to relax in this place, why I don't go and go, I realize what I'm going through, because now I'm having a problem, even if it's not my problem, I feel a little responsible for it,

"Why should every human being have a different destiny."

I asked myself, who could only sit with my hands hugging my knees and thinking about all the problems I had right now, I did not stop breathing like I was tired to go through today, complaining and feeling a little angry, all mixed up, overflowing in my emotions,

"I don't want to see a hope crumble just like that ."I murmured and could only mutter it,

Without going to leave or standing, even though I am ashamed to tell someone to hold on to hope in life, as for myself I still haven't done anything within the expectations I have,

"I'm a loser ." I muttered back,

For me who could only be silent and hugging my knees, these legs felt so limp, tired it was even very difficult to breathe, as I recalled the sad face of Rina's despair, I tried to lie on this rough reef, for me this is not too bad, just feel pain in the skin because of the sharpness of the coral piercing pan*tat, he said, this might not be comparable if it were to feel the pain he had, though,

"What a time when I was desperate I became terrible like that ." Ask myself, though,

I couldn't answer it myself, everything seemed so vague, the pain I used to feel from losing such a precious person, that alone had frightened me, was so terrible, so terrible,

"What are you doing here ."Ask a woman standing right next to my head lying down,

A rough voice looked at me with his creepy face,

"Ah, I can see your panties ." I said spontaneously,

His face immediately flushed and retreated a few steps from where he stood,

"What are you thinking ." Shame it, shame,

"Oi, you're wearing Jenas' pants, sober up ." Said I reminded Sina,

His face turned red as I stroked him and when his feet lifted to step on me I stopped him,

"Wait, if you step on me here, maybe my head will leak ." I said cover my face,

"Surely it doesn't matter to me ." Sina said furiously,

I just stood up, for the sake of my life's safety of course, while the legs he was pounding so hard would definitely make me go to the hospital if he really did that.

"You're crazy what Sina is, " Shout I'm scared,

"You've been pranking me and now calling me crazy, "He's getting mad, he's getting mad,

What a terrible woman, but that's her, a rude woman who never changed even long ago, the time she saved when I lost someone precious.

"So, what are you doing here." a question from Sina when he calmed down,

"I?, you name it I'm pondering all the stories about my past ." Answer from.

"Well, when you came home to my mother's death, what did you see in me ." Ask him about me,

He sat down beside me, accompanied me and said his answer,

"At that moment, I saw you terrified, eyes unblinking, covering yourself with a blanket and shivering with fear, yes that moment was terrible ." Sina replied seriously,

"Yes, at that moment what I felt was a despair and I saw it on Rina's face earlier ."

Sina was a little surprised to hear what I said..."What happened, what's wrong ."

"I was wrong, I put too much hope on him, "I said with mixed feelings,

I buried my face between my knees, Sina was like I knew what I was feeling, his rough hands rubbed his back and said,

"Don't blame yourself An, if you're putting your hopes on him, it's because you want him to be someone better, "Serious words from him, ' he said,

"But ... but ..."

As I looked at Sina's face, he smiled, as he did back then, a smile that took me away to let go of all the despair I had faced, but in the end he patted me hard on the shoulder.

"What you do hurts know ." Said I who felt like my joints were loose,

He stood up, stretching his body like he was warming up,

"What do you think?, unlike you who used to be, the An I know is not the one who would just give up ." He said with a serious look,

"i don't even know myself now."

"does that mean you're insomnia."

"amnesia. not insomnia."

"what's the difference."

"you don't know memory loss and you can't sleep." I replied weakly.

"just a thin difference, what do you trouble."

I smiled hearing what Sina said, not her wrong speech, but rather this girl's attitude made me feel a little relieved.

"what are you laughing at." Sina asked in annoyance.

"no, I was just thinking, you always think simple and it amazes me."

He saw that I had a strong spirit not to give up, although I was a little motivated to keep doing it, but my reason was because I didn't want to see someone become like the old me, that's enough.

"you're making me better off Sina."

"thank you then, even though I don't know what you're up to, but I don't want you to live the way you used to, you're so tormented in life." replied Sina who knew very well how about me.