Colorless Aurora

Immortality

It was April, the 23rd.

Spring, the season of love blooming, love?, to me love is just a bunch of Beta waves in the brain, about how the way feelings named love affect humans to follow desires and passions.

Yes, my current spring has fallen when cherry blossoms bloom, no happiness, no meetings, no festivals, no octopus food stands, or fireworks in the middle of the night.

Because that day I lost an amazing woman in my life.

I turned thirteen, every time I saw my mother smile, I was scared, full of anxiety, knowing that she was just pretending to stay calm, even if it seemed painful.

More than nine different types of colorful drugs, swallowed by the mother for months, every grain, every gulp, forced in even though it feels bitter. Much more than the nutritional intake of food chewed using a spoon.

While my sister still did not know what the mother was thinking in a face of a smile full of pain, but mother always said.

"What's wrong, mom's fine." My mother said smiling bitterly with the pain.

Always saying so, lying to me and Nagisa, I don't care, if you see you have to cry and endure pain. But I will definitely make my mother smile more beautifully than usual.

Until one day, the mother no longer needs to feel the pain of the disease that continues to torture.

Withered face, glare, shabby skin and emaciated body dry, needle infusion, two anyway, embedded in the wrist.

I saw the father standing next to the nursery bed, his face tough, though not smiling, wrinkled scratches as a tangible proof of the life journey they both lived.

He was an old man who was always busy in business, until occasionally not coming home, but since mother had to live in an all-white room in the hospital.

Dad so more often accompany mom, he came early and left late at night, every minute does not take off hand to accompany Mom beside the bed.

"Yes, I trust you Hana, you will be fine, " said the father in an unshakable tone.

After saying that, my mother smiled, a face full of enthusiasm with all the medical devices attached to the entire body.

The heart detector makes a loud noise, the breath goes up and down, goes up again, long down, drowns one breath and is heavy to exhale.

I felt afraid, as well as confused, I could not distract from the sight of the taper-tipped transverse waveform.

Each time the heart detector sounds loud, the longer the transverse waves appear.

Smile in the lips that dries up, the pale face of the mother makes her eyes wither more, not moving, just silent from the top of the white bed.

My father did not flinch at the beautiful face of mother, having lived twenty-three years for himself and fourteen years living with me, nagisa and father.

I could see the happy look on the edge of the life she lived, in the weak voice of my mother saying.

My father did not blink, far from the bottom of his heart, he wanted to scream, I could see from the radiance of his eyes.

Old eyes full of memories and pain, when he saw a suffering from a loved one just lying on a white bed, smelling of drugs.

"Yes, Hana someday you'll see it." said my father, who held my mother's hand.

"Yes, I. want to ..see it."

My mother said with tears in her eyes, in a breath of growing weakness from a beautiful word.

One long breath, and no longer exhaled by mother, silent her voice, blank her gaze and fell from the grasp of father.

The humans in all-white clothes came, their faces panicked, moving quickly with all the medical instruments, the pacemaker fiercely stomping the mother's body.

All sorts of actions were done, but only the headbands of the man in white suits and the stethoscope hung it.

Squeeze every shake of the doctor's head with a heavy sigh and say, "Mother Hana is gone, sorry."

The loud noise from the heart detector was straight-striped, making the last smile of my mother immortal. Slowly my father's hands approached gently rubbing my mother's face.

"Thank you, for sharing the rest of your life for me Hana, be sincere because now you will be happy in heaven later ."

Father who slightly glazed over his eyes. Maybe it was the first time, I saw the steadfast face of a father, wet with tears.

If I must know what death is, then I know nothing, the soul that the creator has called to leave the world, and life in the Hereafter awaits the day of the reckoning of charity.

It was all that was clearly visible at this moment and it was the last breath of the mother who raised her children to see the miracle of the almighty ruler.

Until at last the smile of the eternal mother in my world, it became the longest day of my life and I will never be able to forget every single thing that happened.

I looked into the window, I could see the orange sky in April, the weather forecast didn't say it was going to rain. But a drizzle came soaking the earth, I was silent, my breath was heavy, the loud voice was still buzzing in the ears.

As if the world was crying with us, I shivered, the cold spring breeze brought the falling Cherry blossom and the groaning of orange drizzle.

Quickly I grab the camera on the table, walk down the stairs, get off and get out.

Walking down the drizzle, I took a photo of the orange drizzle with a beautiful cherry blossom flake unspeakably.

I wanted to show this picture to my mother, but it was no longer possible, because her eyes were closed and asleep for good.