Colorless Aurora

frightened

Yeah, it's the same as me. I consider this all sin, karma, or a redemption from error. And that makes it all look unpleasant. I saw myself in unblinking and empty eyes.

"If this is punishment, don't you want to fix it." I asked back, though I didn't deserve to say that.

If I look in the mirror, I never try to improve my family's already messed up situation.

I ran away from reality, tied up in the past, and made my own prison so that I would not lose anything else in life.

Loss becomes a pain in the heart that really imprint, especially if it is an important reason in life, when we lose, as if the world ends no problem.

"Let it go, because I don't want to see what makes me what I am now." That answer really made me understand, if he didn't want to repeat something that scared him.

"What's that?, does she just want to be cooped up in the dark forever."

"Of course not. But for now, I'm afraid, really scared, if the mistakes I made will only be repeated, again and again." The answer.

I don't expect my words to just make her sadder..."I'm sorry, I shouldn't speak like I judge others, even though I'm afraid to fix the problems in my life."

"We're both human, we both have problems, so maybe our meeting is fate."

"The fate of meeting troubled people, it's like a gang of criminals for me."

"Yes but I believe God brought us together for a reason, and I think it's very beautiful."

Yeah you're right, it's so beautiful....

His steps came to a halt in front of the gate of the magnificent house, with spacious gardens such as a football field and a classic European-style beautiful house.

"Is this your house."

He answers... "Yes, this is the smell of my house, it's so worn out and deserted, isn't it ?."

I saw it too, a magnificent house with various lights coloring it. It's just that I myself can feel, if there's not a little warmth to say a family.

Just like me, it's just that right now maybe Nagisa has prepared dinner for the two of us, a warm room as a family in general.

"Ah, miss what did you say earlier, if Sisui is not home, so are you alone, what about your dinner." Ask me for a little reason.

"It's okay, maybe he's already prepared it ." The answer might disappoint me.

I was a little anxious to see how he lived such a narrow life in the house so wide as to be alone, was that alright?, I don't understand about the calm demeanor of this girl.

"How about if you have dinner at my house, just relax there is my sister, of course, so that there is no misunderstanding" I propose an offer.

"Hmmm" He thought, I might be a suspicious person.

He was thinking quite complicated, of course I said so because I saw the same thing as myself, eating cold food leftover breakfast. Alone at the dinner table and tasted bland with no taste to enjoy.

"Alright, just assume I owe you one ." The lady said after a long time of thought.

"I don't want to see the same thing as me happen to you ." A little reason, and she smiled.

"Because of what ?." Ask her.

"Ah, don't forget it ."

Isn't tonight so beautiful, what I can feel, as I imagine, walking longer and further.

Together at the same speed, the same goal and at the same time. Gentle hand that kept holding my fingers, following the same steps, the divided warmth, I felt happy, for the whole time, I felt so close to the happiness I was looking for.

"What is your sister like ?."

"Ah, you could say, he's stubborn, very spoiled and often pisses me off ." I said it with a slight imagine of Nagisa's face.

Even I still remember when she slept among all the piles of photos of her memories that we both missed.

"Really, it's nice to have brothers, to be able to share togetherness, to cover each other's flaws and to always be together inseparable ." Said the lady with a gentle smile.

For some people it may be so and a little thought I am among some of those people. It's just that I never asked him directly why he came back to this town. Obviously, there's a little bit of a problem that makes him have to go home, I know that.

"Yes, maybe some people will say the same thing, because they never feel the position of having a brother. But I don't know if I say it, maybe everyone will be surprised ."

I do not think that those who hear will laugh until they cry with satisfaction.

"Because you're not going to say anything honestly from your mouth, all you do is with your actions, everything can be seen clearly." He really understands me.

This might be one of my reasons, he understands something I can't say. She was not a woman who could not see one's heart.

Even if from behind the luminous eyes it could see, he did not need to understand, because his heart would already know all the feelings that everyone had.

"I once asked myself what I wanted to see, if I could see. " Said with a face so serious about this conversation.

Following every word he said, I asked him... "So what's your answer ."

"Fear. " He answered with a serious face, nothing to cover, nothing to lie to, because he had no reason to hide the truth.

I don't understand the meaning of that answer, why 'Fear' ?. Trying to understand what the meaning behind a serious smile and his words is like.

Whether it was an emotion that made him shy away from reality, or maybe just an excuse to reverse reality, it was difficult, until later I myself understood what it meant.

"Our life is not okay for now, we even carry sins that we have to accept, but... Yes, if someday I can see, I hope you're next to me to keep me brave." He smiled brightly.

I was fascinated, indeed truly fascinated by the beauty of this woman, if the moon shining brightly was the wonder of the world without me being able to touch.

But that smile of hers, made me know that I was as close to a miracle as possible, even now that I was touching a miracle hand.