The Musafir
Resigning From the World of Surrender
TAPA Balian mangosteen slowly, before saying with a tone of wonder, “As a swordsman, you should have known that this could happen. However, still losing the right hand is extremely torturous for a sword-wielding person like yourself. But strangely, I did not see the slightest bit of regret on your face.”
“This is a reasonable price for a murderer like myself, Father. Even if, this side of my hand is still lacking.” The mantan smiled faintly, so faintly that it was able to store a sliver in the mind. “I've killed a lot of people, Father. There are many life stories I have saved. It could be the person I have killed turned out to be a warm friend, the father and husband of his small family, or a filial son who was always waiting for his return. I finish them all, Father, how can I regret or not accept what happened to my right hand?”
“Which is the question, are you the one who attacked them or those who attacked you first?” Tapa Balian responded calmly.
The question managed to make Mantingan instantly immersed in his contemplation. Those who attacked him, or himself attacked them? Of course the answer had been clearly emblazoned within the Mantingan's head, but the young man was ashamed to admit it, that it was his opponents who attacked first.
“Trust that your enemies also want to end your history, Son. They really don't care about who you really are. Whether you're a warm friend, the father or husband of your family, a filial son who's always longed for his presence, or even a hero needed by the crowd. No matter how it is, they don't care. And that way, you also have the right to defend yourself and end their story.”
The mantle breathed a long breath. Indeed, he felt that what Tapa Balian said was a truth, which however should be used as a guide. However, still Mantingan could not so easily remove all feelings of guilt.
“Not in the martial well, death has been so numerous that it has not become something to be questioned, Son?”
“But in human life, death caused by murder is not something that can be considered light.”
“And become something that is mandatory if it is to meet the challenge of fighting, because the opponent is really ready to face death.” Tapa Balian said solemnly. “But what we should be doing is defending, not seizing. I advise you to use the ability to protect yourself as well as your precious loved ones, and not to challenge other warriors to fight to the death.”
The mantle smiled and nodded his head. How he felt the warmth in his chest because Tapa Balian can understand very well the situation he is experiencing at this time. Recollecting himself of the figure of Kiai Guru Kedai, who without words even can know the contents of his mind.
“Is there really no remorse for the loss of your right hand, Son Mantingan?” Tapa Balian again opened the question.
“I don't think there is, Mr.”
“And for all the lives you killed?”
“Stay still there, Mr.” replied Mantingan with honest.
“And if you get that right hand back, what would you do?”
“If that really happened, it would certainly be proof that Gusti had given me a second chance to replace the seed of misery into a seed of goodness.”
Tapa Balian smiled widely, looking satisfied with that answer. “Alright, just hope it can happen someday. Now, you may use the room I have prepared. You can continue the journey after completely recovering.”
***
MANTINGAN immersed in his samadhan. So late, that what appeared inside his head was not the fruit of his thinking.
It is true that there is no longer any regret Mantingan felt after losing his right hand. However, however, the search for Kembangmas must continue, and it will be a very hard difficulty without his right hand.
As a swordsman, losing a mainstay hand was not something to be taken lightly. Losing a flagship hand can mean death.
Should he continue to disguise himself as a layman, so as to find Kembangmas without having to engage in a martial world that is always filled with fights and blood spots of death?
It is not impossible if he managed to find Kembangmas even though by disguising himself as a layman who does not understand the fight and violence at all. But even if Kembangmas is found, he will not be able to bring it to Kenanga in Javadvipa. Given how Gembangmas are such powerful creatures to deal with.
If even the expert swordsman is helpless before the Gembangmas, then what about him who does not have the right hand to fight?
Should he learn the science of swordsmanship that only uses the left hand? Or observe other animals that do not even have a single hand to then be converted into a silat?
The torch fire in the room was dancing though the wind was not blowing hard enough to get inside. Mantingan's disarray had caused his entire room to churn. Even items like tables and bundles began to shift even though nothing pushed them!
Until Mantingan opened his eyes because he had found the answer to his question. However, the answer that comes from his reflection does not mean that he can answer all his questions. Isn't it no wonder that a new question can really be solved with a thousand answers?
“I have to resign from the martial world,” said, “for a while.”
***
MANTINGan jutted with one hand in front of Tapa Balian. “Thank you, Father. Presumably I will trouble you for a long time.”
“Not a problem. Pomegranate is everything to me, if he gets finished in the hands of the time thief, I will not want to continue living.” Tapa Balian stroked his beard while smiling warmly. “If need something, please feel free to send me a letter using Si Putih.”
Mantang nodded his head and thanked him once again. Right after, Tapa Balian turned around and flashed away.
The mantan looked around while upholding the body. He was in front of the mouth of Goa. Rocks, shrubs, and lush trees covered the cave from anyone's sight. Had Mantingan not done the search for more than five days, this place would never have been found by him.
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