Sky overcast

Weakening content

I'm actually awkward right now if I have to meet Adam. Because our conversation is not as good as it used to be. But how about it, Adam is already here. After I finished the bath and dried my hair, I went straight out. And now, there's one more person. Damn, since when did Wahid come? Didn't Munah say he was sick? I smiled as they all looked at me.

"Why?" I asked as one hand closed the door to my room.

"Your face looks very tired, you also have panda eyes. Have you not been sleeping lately?" Adam asked when I was just sitting down.

"No, maybe because I'm not wearing powder." He was like tau.

"We're out tonight?" Wahid started giving me crazy ideas.

"No, you guys? I'm so tired." I subtly refused, but Adam's face changed as if he didn't like my answer.

"You tired? What did you do while you were away with that handsome guy?" He glanced at me cynically. What does it mean to say that?

"I? I didn't do anything. What are you thinking! I went a long time ago because I was asleep."

"Sleep with her?" I'm nodding.

"Huh?" Those who were shocked even immediately replied at the same time.

"You slept with him?" Once again the city makes sure.

"He just accompanied me to bed?" I answered again casually, What is wrong? I sleep in the open, right?

"Why are you being so cheap?"

"Adam! What do you mean talk like that?" I started to beat him.

"Hey, hey, come on. Maybe that means Kinara she fell asleep from exhaustion. So the man could only accompany her and wait until she woke up. What does that mean Kinara?" Oh my God, only Wahid here doesn't think shit about me.

Honestly, this is a time I hate. When Adam began to assume I would sleep with any man since he took away my chastity that night. She doesn't know that I am currently pregnant with her child. Struggling alone, crying if you regret the one night that broke me. My eyes started to heat up, I really couldn't help it.

"Sorry." I just nodded, the atmosphere was silent. I don't know because my ears are suddenly deaf. I can no longer hear jokes from them. No longer heard Wahid and Munah fighting as usual.

"Munah, I'm sorry I couldn't take you home. If you don't mind, you can sleep here." I immediately moved on, and did not want to linger anymore sitting with them. Holding back the falling tears made my chest feel tight.

"Nadzara?" I kept walking into the room. Pulling the blanket over my face when I am in bed. What Adam said hurt me a lot. He shouldn't have been thinking dirty about me. I'm not a cheap woman! And the Satria I know are good. Even though he had done something that made me break the friendship. But he never looked down on me either. Even though she herself knew that I was pregnant out of wedlock.

Adam, I know he loves me because he told me that too. What is he doing now because he is jealous? And there should be no need to say it before Wahid and Munah. I have a cell phone too, right? Can't he just call me or send me a message.

"God." It hurts, my stomach hurts so much. Like a dull taste at the bottom. Munna! I should have called Munah by now.

I groaned withstanding the pain, the falling tears did not stop.

"Nadzara?" The city came straight towards me.

"You why?"

"Munah's sick, my stomach hurts a lot." The city panicked too. He's the same as me, what can we do?

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

Crazy idea! That's a very dangerous thing.

"Adam and Wahid have returned. I'll stay here."

"Just make me some warm tea."

"Well, you wait a minute."

Munah who went out of the room with a small run. There was good luck telling Munah that I was pregnant. She's been staying in the apartment more and more, with the reason that she always wanted to take care of me.

"God." I squeezed the pillow and bit it. Am I going to give birth? It's impossible, right?

Just changing positions is hard. I feel like I want to jump, so that this pain can be lessened.

"Kinara, what are you doing?" Last try, I changed my position to prostrate on the bed. Munah who came back with warm tea for me even more panicked.

"Can you call Linda's doctor? Tell him my stomach hurts a lot."

Munah was very deft, he immediately took my phone, and I remained in a prostrating position. In this way, I feel the pain is slightly lessened.

"Have you?"

"Drink the tea first, the doctor's already on his way here."

Glek, one gulp in warmed my forehead.

"Is it still sick?"

"Not really."

"Wait a minute."

Munah stroked my stomach, and talked to whatever the child in my womb was talking. I can smile a little hearing it. With cold sweat running down my face at the moment.

"You look very pale. You have to be strong, in two days Kinara we'll take the graduation exam. You miss the school atmosphere, don't you?" I can only answer it with a nod.

"What did you actually do? Why does it hurt your stomach?"

"I didn't do anything. It's just, whenever my mind feels stressed I'll definitely feel pain."

"Are you hurt by Adam's words?" I obviously nodded straight away, as it was true and there was no need for me to cover up.

"I think he's jealous of you. I'm sorry, it's also because I couldn't help but talk about you going with Satria. I was too panicked, so I called Adam to come." I smiled wryly. For me, the city is not wrong. Because he's worried about me, right? But Adam was overreacting.

"He's so jealous."

"And that's why I don't want to be in more relationships with other people. Not wanting to feel hurt or hurt. Better to be friends."

"North."

"Munah, you know how my life journey is going. And right now, my relationship with my mother is starting to improve." He gave up and kept quiet. I'm sure he understands my position.

A few minutes later, the bell rang. Me and Munah already know who's coming. Doctor Linda, yes I'm sure he's coming. It's impossible if Adam comes back here.

"Wait a minute, I'll open the door."

I faintly heard from inside the conversation Munah from inside. Who talked about what happened to me a few minutes ago. The door opened and revealed the figure of doctor Linda, her unpredictable facial expression. But it looks more relaxed and there is no panic at all.

"Lay." He asked me to do it when I got into the room. And I obey him.

The first thing I did was check my gynecological heartbeat. His forehead is occasionally wrinkled, a tool that continues to be rotated in the stomach reads. But how do I know how my fetus is now before the doctor explains.

I heard him sigh when he finished checking.

"It's too weak." Deg. Meanin?

"You need to take a complete break. If you yourself are often overstressed, it's very influential on the child you bear."

"But doctor, in two days I've had to do the graduation exam." Reply lirih.

"It doesn't matter, the most important thing is that you have to look after her if you still want to see your baby survive." Oh my God, help me. If this is the case, I'm afraid myself. I admit that I didn't want her to be born into the world, but after seven months of pregnancy, I can't wait to see her born into the world and become my reinforcement to continue the journey of life.

"The pain you feel is just a false contraction." Doctor Linda gave me the medicine to drink right away.

"Rest after taking this medicine. And before the day of the graduation exam arrives, I recommend not doing anything outside the house and also do not think of anything that can make you stressed."

Munah's back to take Linda's doctor out. I kept lying down after taking the medicine, and didn't forget to thank Linda's doctor. It is difficult not to do routine check-ups at the hospital. It's all for the good name of my family and me.

***

I don't know what time it is, I don't know. I woke up thirsty, my throat was dry. I'll get the available water on the nightstand. I saw Munah sleeping soundly. Kasian, she must be tired from taking care of me. My eyes were fresh, I should have gone back to sleep. I'm more interested in just playing with my phone. Let it be, I'm sure I'll be back to feeling sleepy.

So many messages that Adam sent, all the notifications that were there from him. Uh no, I was wrong it wasn't just from Adam. But also from Satria, who said good-bye. I'm not going to give it back, afraid to disturb his sleep tonight. I just want to answer in my heart.

"Sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry Kinara."

And all those words he sent over and over again. Not just from my messages, but also from my social media accounts. Suppose you knew Adam, I almost lost my son just because I heard your words.

"Huh? What's he calling for?" Deg. Does he know if I've read the message? Crazy one! Did he not sleep? I ignored his call, and put the phone next to me. I let the flashing screen return to normal as usual. When I was about to pick it up, Adam called me back. He really didn't sleep.

"Nara? Hello?" I deliberately didn't make a sound even though I picked up a phone call from him.

"I'm sorry. Me, I'm just jealous. I just want you to be with me, on my last day." Deg. Adam!! What else does this mean? Did he use his weakness to make me waver and sympathize? Why does his voice seem to shake?

"I know, can you hear me? I know Nara." Quiet sec.

"I feel so guilty. I want to see you tomorrow, just you and me."

"Sorry Adam, but I can't."

"Why?"

"I need a complete break because I-" Oh my God, you almost slipped. "I'm not feeling well."

"Alright, I'll come to the apartment tomorrow."

"Did your illness recur? Why is your voice shaking?" Ah I really can't help worrying about her.

"My body is shivering, I feel so cold?"

"Where's mom? You have to call mom now?"

"I don't want to trouble him. You sleep."

Adam, I should be mad at you right now. I have the right to use you now! Why do I want to be so close to you now? Give you a blanket so you don't feel cold. How is the pain Adam is experiencing now? Is it more painful than I felt when I had the contractions?

"Adam, did you deliberately not sleep just because you wanted to call me?" Curiously I asked.

"If so, why? Are you feeling flattered?" I'm silent.

"I just won't be able to sleep until you forgive me."

"Sleep, now that I've forgiven you." Is my mouth in line with my heart?

"Did you forgive just for feeling sorry for me?"

"No."

"Nara, I love you. Do you know the difference between love and love?"

"....." Silence, I can't answer.

"Nara? Are you one of my spirits to heal? Can you promise me?"

"Adam, sorry. Please, don't discuss feelings for now? I want to clear my mind, stay away from anything that can put a burden on my mind. I just wish you could get well." Now Adam was silent and did not answer. Is he offended by my answer?

"Adam. Is our future still long?"

"But I've taken it from you?" Deg. God, how can I keep my promise to Linda's doctor like this?

"Well, if you don't want to sleep now? Then I'll go to bed first."

"Nara, wait?" I was silent and ready to hear what he wanted to say to me again.

"May you have a good dream tonight?"

"You too."

What are the words that everyone often says when they are in a relationship? Like dating for example? What is every meal, they will remind each other? Why when I imagine it I feel comfortable? It's weird!! Didn't I say I didn't want to get married or date?

I don't know what God's will is. But I just want Adam to live longer. Somehow at the end of our story, I really couldn't guess. Because when I lock my heart tightly, Adam can easily open it. Damn it, he was the one who took away my chastity as well as my heart.

"May you have a good dream tonight." Those words kept ringing, and managed to make me smile.

"You kicked Jua? Are you feeling good too?" My stomach is covered in a blanket. He closed his eyes and remembered Adam's words. I have to have a good dream tonight. And I'm also waiting for your arrival Adam. Tomorrow, I'm waiting for him here.

***

I waited for the night, where Adam had promised to come. And now, I'm back alone again in the apartment. It's just that mom called and asked me to come home tomorrow. He said he missed me so much. After all the full moon, I could finally hear those sincere words from a mother. If only I could see the stars in person, I would share a laugh with him tonight.

When I heard the bell, I got up and walked to the door. He opened it and revealed the figure of Adam standing before me. Carrying a paper bag, which I don't know what it contains. I certainly didn't order any food.

"Come in." We sat next to each other. This heartbeat, it's out of control. Blood flow is like stinging in any part of the body. Including, she's the child in my womb also tickled in the stomach. The corset that was holding my stomach from looking enlarged was really not an obstacle for her to move.

"This is for you. As my apology." I took it, saw it. Whatisthis? Why so much chocolate? I looked up at Adam. She smiles.

"I haven't given it to you in a long time." Huh, God why am I happy just to be given chocolate? Didn't Adam's mistake last night make me curse him!

"Let me open." I didn't answer, but Adam took the chocolate out of my hand.

"Kinara forgive me." At first my mouth was open, not to speak, but to enjoy the chocolate that made me swallow the salivary.

"I shouldn't say that, sorry I put you down." I just nodded, that means I forgive you Adam!

"I'm just, I'm just jealous to see you leave with another man?" Deg. Justify my guess.

"Do you think I'm overreacting?"

"Adam, I don't know about that. You'd better ask someone more experienced." Bodo! I just continue chewing the melted chocolate in my mouth and leaving the beans.

"I only want one request from you?"

"Say."

"Nara, are you my girlfriend for just a few weeks?"

"What do you mean?" Please don't make me have to think about things that could affect my gynecological health! I squeezed the edge of the sofa while glancing the other way. I'm so scared that Adam keeps pushing like this.

"You know what I mean by Nara." Thank goodness I haven't had time to answer Adam had to take a call. I don't know who it is, but Adam certainly didn't budge. He sat next to me.

"Yes Ma'am?" Oh no! Adam received a video call from his mother. I shifted my seat slowly, but Adam's one hand held it. He kept asking me to be quiet.

"If you don't believe me, talk to him." Huh huh? My mouth is still full of chocolate.

"Cinara? Honey, did you miss you?" I waved my hand, and immediately swallowed all the chocolate in my mouth.

"Mother? Mom how are you? I miss you too?"

"No ma'am, he's lying!" My reflex hit Adam's arm. I really miss his mother, right!

"Good mother. Come to mom's house tomorrow? I'll cook for you."

"But Ma-"

"Just wait tomorrow, Adam will pick you up after coming home from the hospital." I looked at him, at the hospital? Any more?? Does Adam have to come to the hospital every day? For what reason, his illness did not decrease, nor did he find a bright spot for his recovery. Does he smile when I see him? How powerful is Adam!

"Nara?"

"Any, Mom?"

"Have you eaten?"

"It's Mom."

"You ate chocolate from mother?" Huh huh? Adam's! Didn't he say he gave it to me?

"Do you like it? I know you like chocolate a lot. So I asked Adam to take her."

"Yes Mom. Thank you so much, I like it?"

You're Adam. I glanced sharply at him, but Adam turned his face away and pretended not to listen. It's not that easy, after this I will judge him.

"Yes dear. Well, I'm closing the call, yeah, I'm not interrupting you two's time." Uh, what is this? Why this child and mother even like it has been compact yes! Did Adam also tell his mother that he loved me?

"Adam you?"

"I'm just like the old Adam." He took his phone out of my hand.

"You wait here for a minute, there's something I want to show you." Oi! What is this, I haven't asked about chocolate, haven't judged it yet! Why would he just leave? He should have listened to me angry!

He actually came back with his gasping breath. Crazy, did he run out? And back in time so soon?

"I just took the laptop in the car." Adam sat down. I had forgotten where to scold him from, and was more interested to see the laptop screen that had brought out the shine of the light.

"You've opened my laptop, haven't you?" I'm nodding. "And you're curious about it, aren't you?" Uh no, uh yeah. Ah I am confused to shake or nod.

"You're curious about this one?"

"Memories of childhood?" Adam nodded and smiled.

"Now you know I'm the man you're looking for. And so did I, so I no longer hesitate to give it to you."

"Adam, what is this?" I was amazed to see so many pictures of me and Adam as a child. Did he really keep it for years? Although the photo does not look good like the results of today's cameras.

"And you should know this."

"Drawing?" Adam smiled.

"Who painted?" He pointed at himself. Not likely?

"You don't believe it?" I shook my head, but my eyes were really amazed to see him.

"Did you forget? Since childhood my hobby has been painting?" Aye right! Adam is a hobby of painting.

"Nobody knows but you're Nara. I often paint quietly in my room. And took the picture through the camera phone, and then after that I went back to remove the painting that I've been painting."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not so confident to show my paintings to others. Including mom, and you're the only one who sees her now."

"Huh?" Right, all this time I've been expecting it, why! Adam kept his secrets too much alone.

"But why am I the one? Why can't your mother know about this?"

"Children and parents should also have privacy right? And I did choose you to look at it, so why? Is that my right?"

"But Adam, this is so good. You're really good at expressing your feelings through painting. Why don't you want to go to an art show every time it's at school?"

"I told you I'm not very confident."

"You are too, right? You're good at making poems, but you don't want to come either." Heh, I can only sigh. Adam was right.

"Nadzara?" I looked up, and our eyes met.

"I'll make you a special painting. But not now."

"really? Why not now?"

"Because I want to give her as a gift of remembrance, which you won't forget until now." Deg. Why am I sad to hear it? Adam, are we going to split up after this? After we both graduated school? Ahhhhhhhhhh, my God, why does it feel like I am so unwilling!

"Adam, do you want to go?"

"If you ask that, then I will answer. If God lets me stay here, then I'm happy to live it."

And I, too, dropped my tears in front of Adam. He made me realize that the disease he had won was no joke. I was crying as if in his arms. The burden he has is heavier than me. But right now, we are both fighting for our lives. I will fight to bet my life when I give birth, and Adam will also fight against his illness. God, I followed Adam's words. If you let me live, then I'm happy to live it.

Seriate...