
There are still many questions in my head. Why is Laras like showing off having a half-brother? I just don't think of it. What I don't like is why he seems familiar and close to me in front of his friends?
"Nara, look at the camera?" Ah I even daydreamed from earlier. How many photos have you taken?
"Later to upload yes sis, keep me tagged to sister's account." I just smiled wryly, rather forced.
Yes, Laras is innocent, of our parents' marriage. Even his father was innocent. Since they were also married not by force of Laras, it was the first. And the second om Asraf married his mother also after the mother and father divorced. I just keep blaming my mom and dad for my hatred for other people. Because they kind of taught me to do that, from childhood. And once it's embedded, it's now grown. So anyone who's near mom and dad. I must hate him, for no reason!
"Nara, you see. The barrel is very good. Turns out he's good."
"Stop praise him! You want to be like a mother who praises Laras in front of her friends and introduces her as a child?" I pointed to the direction where Mom and Laras were currently standing, two meters away from me. There gathered his mother's business associates and social friends.
"Laras always gets a class champion. He also never left his worship." I listened from a distance not far away. Why not just use a microphone. All guests can hear.
"Oh yes jeng, well it looks like Laras is a good boy." Mother even hugged Laras like channeling her affection. What about my current position? Maybe I'll be okay after hearing you say that.
"Oh yes Mira? This barrel is the son of your new husband, right?" I want to laugh now at the reaction of my mother's face. "Where is your real son?" I pretended not to look and looked away. Munah who was also smart immediately invited me to talk, as if we both did not see and hear what was in front.
"That's it, just a second." Mom walked towards me. Pulling my arm without talking ba bi bu first. Introduce me in front of his friend. But the compliment that was not received by Laras I immediately got.
"It's pretty, her nose looks just like yours. Face-shape like your ex-husband." Hey, why be a researcher like this? I see Laras just keeping quiet. Does she now feel jealous because she is not praised by the beauty with the maximum appearance today? I don't even wear make up. But the basic view of people cannot be lied to.
"Sorry Auntie, I'm going there first."
"Yes pretty. Uh wait, what's his name?" I stopped and looked.
"Aunty Kinara."
"Later to meet Auntie's son huh?" It's getting worse and I have to leave immediately. This is not the era of Siti Nurbaya which nothing should be betrothed to the children of business partners.
"Mira, I'll bring my son here sometime. I'll introduce Kinara to my son." Mom just nodded and smiled. "You have to promise."
Haha, maybe the mother's hope was that they betrothed only with Laras. Any Barrel. Mother also said, right, that Laras did well in school. Then I what? Didn't I too.
"We'll just go home!"
"Eh wait. You're not saying goodbye to your mother?"
"He busy? What's for?" I just walk, Munah who feels defeated and can only follow my steps.
"Nara, Nara." We simultaneously turned. "Nara, you want to go home?" This is the father of a son named Laras. What does he want now.
"Yes." Yeah." My face is expressionless, even a smile I love giving it to her.
"We haven't photographed Nara yet. Just a minute."
"Sorry om. What photo is it?"
"We haven't photographed the family yet. Wait a minute, will you?"
"Om, no need! Sorry about om. I feel like I have no family. Excuse me." Come, as soon as I hinted through the eyes, and pulled Munah's arm so that he would not protest and ask me to obey Asraf's will.
Arriving in the car, Munah also did not dare to start talking. Whatever it is, when I know he actually wants to protest.
"Eh Nara, your father called." I scrunched my forehead. Why call Munah's phone. I quickly searched the phone in the bag. Kasian if Munah has to pick up the phone, he's also driving a car.
"Geez, my dad called me dozens of times already." Probably not hearing because of the sound of the music earlier or what. Either because my heart is filled with anger so that my ears become deaf and only focus on listening to mother's speech.
"Just take this." Munah put his phone to me.
"Hallo yeah? It's me Nara. Didn't hear me call."
"Where are you, anyway? Dad's in this apartment." I glanced towards Munah. I'll definitely see the state of the apartment is screwed up.
"Here I'm on my way home. Just wait till."
I asked Munah to speed up his car. So from that moment, Dad was waiting. Arriving at the apartment I ran first and asked Munah to park the car. Riding the elevator and speeding up my steps. I hit someone because I was in a hurry.
"Sorry, I didn't see."
"Nara?" I looked up as the body I hit turned around.
"Adam?" We were both in the elevator.
"Would you like to come here?" Why was I traumatized when I saw her?? Oh, my God, I'm scared. We were both in the elevator. I close my eyes, hurry up. So pray.
"I just want to make sure you're Nara. Hey wait." He pulled my hand which was walking out of the elevator.
"Wait."
"Everything's fucked. Go, my dad's in the apartment." Adam stood still and I left him. I'm sure Adam will meet Munah later.
I have lost my sanctity because of it. He showed up again just for the reason of wanting to see my situation. How can I be okay. If Munah doesn't come in time, maybe I'd rather end my life in the apartment. Become a carcass that will rot and not until when people will know.
"Dad." I'm lirih. I looked at the figure standing behind him. Why bring his wife here?
"Where are you from?" Dad asked directly. I quietly did not answer and opened the door and went inside. "You never cleaned your apartment? You're Nara's daughter, you should be diligent." I shut up, went into my room and put down my bag.
"What did Daddy want to come here?" I stood up, reluctant to sit down.
"Sit down first, I want to talk." I'm still standing. "Nara, sit. Have you checked your account or not? I've transferred the money to the amount you requested. And the monthly money I'll add starting next month." I'm softened, I'm happy. That way, I can realize the dream of building my sisters' house on the streets.
"Thank you." My speech.
"On the housekeeper you talked about last night. He'll come tomorrow, start work."
"Dad shouldn't have to." Father raised his hand I did not refuse what he had done. I saw Aunt Intan standing up from her seat. Then take a broom from the kitchen, and clean the apartment. Does he mean he wants to look me in the face? The door opened, and the figure of Munah appeared, I wish Adam would not come. I let out a sigh of relief as Munah closed the door again, which meant that Adam did not come.
"Did you go with Munah to your stepbrother's birthday party?" I hit the couch with a pillow.
"Dad, don't ever mention it. I don't feel like I have a brother." Dad laughed at me. For some reason, since childhood, only my father can make me laugh and he also makes me cry.
"I'm just a wasted kid. And now, I've also found happiness with my new wife." Dad's face pias straight away, and I heard the sound of a broom suddenly falling on the floor. Munah lowered his face, sometimes he was afraid to hear me speak original. Afraid of a fight.
"Nara, you're all grown up. Stop blaming your parents. You've got to think!" Dad's voice started to rise.
"Mas is already." Aunt Intan immediately approached, stroking the shoulder of the father so as not to be emotional.
"Tell me, what exactly do you want?" Why ask now? Why yah? Should I cry, and complain for all the years that I have been alone. In the past, every time I wanted to talk, mom and dad didn't want to listen. If I speak now, it's too late. I just want them not to get divorced, not fight every day. Gave me the love that a child deserves. Didn't leave me with the housekeeper, and they were gone for a few days. I remember that! Remember everything!! Until I caught my mom in the room alone with another man when I was out of town. Is that worth it? Threatened me not to say anything to Dad. Then after the father was only found out to go alone with another woman, the mother immediately sued for divorce.
So far I don't know why mom and dad got married?
"You don't want to talk about it? How can trouble be run."
"It's all too late. Let me live like this, I want to be alone."
I cried, my tears fell. I know, Munah's current position is really bad. And I should have avoided the fight in front of him. Munah tried to calm me down without a sound, he kept patting me on the shoulder. Auntie Intan was also sitting right next to dad. I heard my father's breathing stir, he was holding back his emotions.
"I'm sorry Nara's father. Maybe it's not right now you should know everything." Dad got up from his seat, pulled his wife's hand.
"I'm an adult and soon I'll graduate. And I should have known this."
Dad came closer to me, then stroked the top of my head gently. My heart is pounding, what is this? I feel very comfortable. Did you just act in front of Auntie Intan? To make you look like a loving father?
I also just found out Aunt Intan is still a girl, she is not married. It's only fitting that he doesn't have children. Which I think Aunt Intan is also a widow.
"One day you'll know the truth. Forgive me, father."
"I just need an explanation. How long do I wait? And live in guilt because it was born from the mother's womb. Live without your love." I screamed until my body shook. Dad sat back down, he pulled me in his arms. I'm getting sobbing. "I just need the parents' love." I hiccuped, even talking was stammering.
"Nara, you and I weren't ready to have children." Whahuh? I was in a lightning strike. Then that's the only reason mom and dad can't give me love?
"Dad, I want to be alone." I took off his arms, allowed Dad to leave. Then I leaned my body on the sofa. My body is completely limp now.
My eyes were blurred after my father's departure. Dark, dark everything.
"He hasn't eaten at all."
"How come? Didn't you say you were home from her mother's house?"
"Yes, but Nara won't eat."
"You should take her!"
I faintly heard the voices of my friends. But wasn't there just a Munah? I blinked, slowly returning my consciousness. My hands felt very weak, just to rub my eyes also could not.
"Nara? Heye? Are you conscious?" That face, he who touched my face very gently. Swiping my head. I tried to sit down but I couldn't. Where am I now? I see, oh it's in my own room.
"What did you do to ruin everything in the room?" I looked at him sharply. He dared to ask after doing so.
"Nara, you eat first. Let me bribe. Adam bought it." Wahid and Adam helped me to sit up and lean on the head of the bed.
"Open your mouth." I said, the porridge goes into the mouth, I immediately swallow without me chewing. It felt so bitter my mouth.
"I why?" I can finally ask after having the energy.
"You passed out when your father came home. And now I just realized. What time have you seen this? I panicked, and I could only call Adam and Wahid." Wahid approached me, his eyes glazed over. Then stroked the top of my head. Wahid, he's good. Before Adam was there he was beside me.
"Why did you get like this? You're making us all worry?"
"I only have you." I said with a trembling tone. Wahid shook his head, he won't see me crying anymore.
"One you've never tried." I was silent waiting for Wahid to continue with his words. "You must be at peace with the situation." Deg. Heart melos. Honestly, I've never done that. Never once. Don't try, think not yet.
"Enjoy your life, and live it all without any more sadness and burdens. Nara, kids our age should be enjoying life. Thank your mom and dad, thank your new family. Even if you live alone here, then you will feel what compassion is. Not forever will we be together, but I, Adam, and Munah will also have a partner. We will be busy with our own business. And when it comes, you can't accept any of this yet. Then you'll even be a lot worse off and feel alone. Let's get up." I smiled, but my tears escaped. I have to start everything from zero? Didn't he? But what about the situation that is no longer holy. I want to start everything. Trying to hear what Dad will say later. About the reason they were not ready at that time to have children, what does it mean that father and mother do before marriage?
Should I get married because my mother was pregnant with me? If so, would I experience that too? If I get pregnant and I have to marry Adam. Then my son will feel that too? Didn't she??? Oh gosh. I have so much to go through and experience. It's not enough to test a kid my age.
"Nara? Did you hear what I said?" I can only nod. I'll learn to accept it. I can't tell you right away that I really accepted it.
They no longer want to talk about it, after seeing me have started to smile to see them. Like this, Wahid can mature at certain times. Give me the best advice he can, and then act silly again when he loses his sanity.
"Hid, I'm tired. Ugly face! Is there a woman who wants to be with you later." Wahid immediately pulled out Munah's head until it fell on my bed.
"If you want to talk, you'll see again." He tidied his hair that was originally messed up because he had wrestled with a pillow that was hit repeatedly by Munah.
"Nara, you know that IPS kid from yesterday? The one we're marrying Wahid?" I'm nodding. I remember it, I just forgot the name. "She just doesn't want to be with you. You're stingy! Don't go on another woman's date that you're told to pay for." Wahid looked at Munah sharply. He still hasn't stopped his mouth from insulting Wahid.
"If it was Adam, he'd obviously been dating Elena. Pretty girl, cie." Deg. Did ya? Uh why do I feel uncomfortable saying that?
"really?" Wahid just doesn't believe. Adam just smiled faintly and turned to look at me.
"Party dong Dam's. Eat that cake."
"Is that right? Right, you saw Nara. He's so happy to get free."
"God." Wahid pinched both of Munah's cheeks and wiggled them to the right and to the left.
"It hurts!" He retaliated and hit Wahid's thigh hard.
"Be! If it's for a girlfriend, I'll pay!" Proudly said. I really can't help but laugh if they've had such a fight.
"What's the difference?" Munah asked.
"Yes different! If you've been given pocket money with your father. So what's the money for, he's looking for a kid, too." Avoiding again.
"Then does your boyfriend not have a father?" Wahid could not answer. "Well then, you're just going out with orphans, or street kids who don't have parents. If you can at once."
Street kids? I remember my brothers. What are they doing, huh? Must be cold snuggling.
"Hey, Dam. Answer me, are you really dating Elena?" Adam was weak. As usual, he glanced at me. Why anyway? Does he feel disinclined that he has taken away my chastity?
"Congratulations Dam? Can you take Elena to hang out with us?" Wahid began to tease, as well as Munah. He seemed to agree and enthusiastic. They are happy to have new friends.
"Later if he wants to." I smiled wryly.
"Nara, if we go home now is okay, right? You can be left alone, right?" I'm nodding. Why why anyway? I'm used to it myself.
I felt good, and could walk to get them to the door. I need to lock it too. Otherwise Adam could have been reckless and come back here.
"Nara, if you're not well. You better not come in tomorrow."
"Where is it possible to be a Munah. I've had two days off, I want another day off tomorrow. What school did my father think it was."
"It could be that your father intended to buy it." Haha, they were laughing. And the next second after I closed the door, their laughter could only faintly be heard. Back to quiet and quiet. I walked dragging a limp leg.
Suddenly the shadow of last night disturbed my mind. I marked the date on the calendar, when was the date I last got my period. Then I switched to a laptop. There will be CCTV recorded. I don't want to have to see it. Even though my body was shaking, I really wanted to know what was going on.
"Huh?" I closed my mouth, and nodded slowly. I just feel disgusted to see it. Right, it was me who started. But how can? Despite seeing it clearly, Adam refused. But, I still still do not believe in this very low behavior.
I kept playing the tape that recorded every second of it happening in the room. Adam was seen sitting in frustration, then he ran over my entire body with a blanket. She sat down with her legs bent and hugged him. Throughout the CCTV footage. Didn't show Adam sleeping, after that he really didn't touch me. Adam walked out of the room after putting his clothes back on.
I know, which means Adam didn't leave me that night. Maybe he chose to sleep on the couch.
And after I saw everything. I light myself up, my stupidity. Then I decided to damage the CCTV and no longer want to use it. CCTV is only valid in other corners but not in the room.
Tomorrow I have to go to school, see Adam and try to discuss this matter. Ask him not to speak to anyone, including Wahid and Munah. They do not let you know, even Munah felt disgusted to remain friends with me.
Seriate...