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Juanda

A week later, Adam never sent me a message again. Never called me again, and no longer asked me to meet. Where's she? I kept myself locked up in the apartment. I reneged on the promise to buy games for my sisters. This is the first time I've disappointed them. I'm in the process of recovering, and now the baby in my womb is back to being active as usual. It's just that I lost her father. Who usually calls me every night. I've been trying to get in touch with Adam. But it's a lot different than usual. He didn't answer my phone.

"Nara, is anyone coming?" Wh who? I immediately got up from the fall when I heard Bi Gina yelling from outside my room. I really hope it's Adam who comes.

"Mune you? Elena." I said lirih. I went back to my room to change my appearance, before they realized that things were very different.

"Huh.." I took a breath and threw it away slowly, I had not worn a corset for a long time and felt the tightness.

Elena? What'd he come here for? I'm sure, bi Gina did not have time to make excuses because the one who came was Munah. Ah, I miss him too much. If he's allowed to come, I'll never let him.

"I miss you so much?" Munah immediately hugged me, tangled spoiled with me. "You're not doing anything at home, look at your body now." He looked from top to bottom. "Are you just sleeping?" I'm nodding.

"What's up, why is he here?" I whispered softly, Munah turned to look towards Elena.

"Sit down first."

"Wahid, he's not coming? Adam?"

"Wahid deliberately did not want to come, if Adam he had three days not to go to school."

"Three days? Why is he sick?" Uh I can't control the worry in front of them. I saw Elena's face immediately tangled, hearing I was looking for Adam. Crazy one! Is he jealous? Didn't he break up, too.

"Elena, speak. You don't have much time." Elena nodded, and smiled at me. I just returned the whole thing.

"Sorry brother, I'm sorry. Because of me, brother is suspended from school." I'm silent yet to answer. "I did it. I'm sorry brother."

"You?" Elena nodded, her face already flooded with tears of regret. "Why did you do it?" Munah rubbed my back, helping me hold back all the almost overflowing emotions. The explanation stopped, when bi Gina came to bring cold drinks and snacks for them. If I was bad, I wouldn't let Elena drink it.

"I am, I am jealous brother. Seeing the closeness of my brother to Adam." Deg. I knew this was the consequence.

"But you know yourself, before Adam knew you I knew him first, including my closeness to Adam."

"I'm sorry, brother, I'm really sorry. Please don't sue me." Heh, my God, but I made sure Elena was a good boy. Although Adam had told me that Elena did it, but why when I heard it directly I still did not accept. Even though the photo was indeed real, it was just that the rumors that spread made me have to bear the shame of being alone!

"Sister Adam who asked me to come immediately apologized sis. I've only dared to come now, it's also because brother Munah is willing to bring me here."

"Just because of Adam?" Elena shook her head, occasionally she wiped away her tears.

"Not brother. It was because of my pure intention." Ah I can't believe, surely he's just looking for sympathy for Adam.

"Sister, will you forgive me?" I shut up, Munah looked at me and nodded. Munah, it's not that easy.

"Kinara, better forgive."

"All right, I forgive you." Elena immediately looked up at me and stopped crying. Are those just crocodile tears?

"Thank you brother." He came to me, hugged me tightly. I feel more claustrophobic. I slowly took off the hug and asked Elena to sit back in her place.

"Sister, now I'm sure that Brother Adam did not choose wrongly. Brother's a good man."

"I mean!" I asked.

"Sister Adam said he loved his brother very much." Deg. I looked towards Munah. He must have been very surprised to hear this too, right?

"Elena, you go home. Everything is in line with your expectations. Kinara has forgiven you." Munah expels by subtly.

"So, there's one more thing I want to say."

"Say." I'm waiting for him. Elena took a deep breath.

"If you're close to Adam's brother, do you know he has a disease?" I obviously shook my head. "He told me." Damn it, so he just wanted to show off that Adam would rather tell him.

"What disease did Adam have?" Munah asked, and I chose to be quiet.

"I don't know, obviously he's suffering right now." Deg. Adam's? Did he disappear without any news because he was sick?

"Sister, thank you for forgiving me. Brother Munah, thank you for coming with me here." Munah nodded, and so did I. "I'm sorry brother."

After Elena's departure, I was ready to be hit with a thousand questions from Munah. About Adam's feelings.

"Did he ever tell you?" I'm nodding. "You rejected it and said just a joke?"

"You know the answer, why ask me again?"

"Kinara, what exactly are you hiding from me? I'm your friend, I always understand how you've lived your life all this time. But why have you been covering it up lately from me?" Should I be honest with him?

"I'm sorry Munah."

"You really don't want to tell?" I'm silent. My hands have squeezed the edge of the sofa. A cold sweat that suddenly pours heavily on the forehead.

"Do you still want to be friends with me, when you know the secret I'm covering up?"

"You pregnant?" And damn it Munah went straight to the point. I've guessed until now Munah is still suspicious about it.

"Say Nara?" His tone was already shaking withstanding the crying. He rubbed my stomach gently. "Say, is it true that there is a living fetus?" No, my mouth is stiff. I'm tired of lying.

"Mune it?" I said softly, and now we both shed tears. I'm the one who squeezed, Munah kept urging me to open my mouth.

"Nara, Munah, what's wrong? Why?" Bi Gina came, I'm sure she must have heard this little commotion. I miss laughing with them, now I'm a long way off with all that. Just because of the child I bear and the self-esteem I have, even though I have actually lost it all in the eyes of people.

A rich businessman's son, whose name is well known to the public. Business people, and colleagues. Not knowing how you will have to bear the shame of having a child like me, pregnant out of wedlock at a young age. And still sitting in school.

"Mune you? Are you asking?"

"Yes bi. I deserve to know." Munah directly cut off bi Gina's speech.

Bi Gina was silent, she had already left everything to me. And his words I always remember, if only I had the right to tell anyone I wanted to tell.

"Whatever it is, I'm still your friend. Anyway, I won't stay away. I swear on both my parents." I hugged him, crying in the arms of Munah. My body has completely melted. It's dark, it's all dark. I can only breathe but not open my eyes.

***

"Bi?" I opened my eyes, looking for the person I had last seen before I fell unconscious and was already lying weak on my bed.

Hoping that when I woke up everything I had experienced a few hours ago was just a dream, Elena who came to apologize was also just a dream. Even though I have truly forgiven him.

"Kinara, are you conscious?" That voice, oh no. I felt no more corsets tightly hugging my stomach. No, Munah really knows everything now?

"Nara?" This soft pat on the cheek. A glass of warm water was placed right in front of me.

"Drink first." Bi Gina helped me to sit down. I sipped a little warm water. Looking up, Munah was sitting next to me, on the bed. His eyes were as thick as a cry for several hours.

"Auntie, come home tonight. I'll stay here, accompany Kinara. I've also contacted my parents."

"Well, auntie put Kinara on you?" My tears fell again. Munah wiped it off and then grabbed me with his hand.

"Wait, I'll lock the door first." Just nodding is hard.

The way Munah's opposition to me made my heart melt, this guilt. Ah this is just a Munah then what if everyone knows? No, that can't happen.

"Munah, I beg of you. Please keep this from anyone. I can only hope about that to you, I beg you."

"Calm down, don't suppress your own thoughts. It would be fatal for the baby in your body." I'm down.

"I just want to know who the baby's father is?" Deg. I looked up again too, looking at Munah. How do I say it?

"Kinara, I'm your friend. I already knew. You just have to tell me who the father of the baby is? Are you being asked**?" I shook my head, uh didn't nod. Ah I'm confused!

"meaning?" Now the city is confused.

"Munah, I think you know who the father of my son is. He's our friend too."

"Adam?" He spoke, but he himself was shocked. Shock, standing flapping his face with his hands, walked back and forth with one hand placed near the waist. "Nara, how is that possible?"

"You asked him to take me that night? I was drunk to the point of unconsciousness, and Adam was also under the influence of alcohol."

"Nara, how could you cover this up from her?"

"Munah, please." I clenched both my hands. I explained that when this child is born it will be cared for by bi Gina. And I'll continue my studies. Munah was a little relieved when he heard it, and some of the reasons I described.

"Can I ask you something?" Munah. "Take me with you to come to Adam's house tomorrow. I'm worried about his condition. About what Elena said?"

"Oh my God, I even forgot about that."

"You're the one who said, right, if Adam was actually your little friend? Even he's the one who gives you chocolates every day at the school desk?" I nodded again, because it was true. "What does that mean, Adam really likes you?"

"I don't know." Heh, I heard Munah was breathing rough.

"Can you get me a pen and paper?" Munah walked closer to the study table. Take what I asked.

"You want to do a poem?" I smiled and nodded. "Do it, I'll be out sitting on the couch."

"No, I'm coming with you." Munah extended his hand, helping me to stand up.

"For my son"

Heartbeats heard simultaneously

So too with breath..

It blows in the same soul..

I feel the movement every day from the bottom of my stomach..

Where you live now..

You look tiny at birth..

I wish I could hear the crying sound..

I hope I feel called Mother..

When our breath is going to split up that's where it all starts..

Move if you're happy in my womb..

Don't shut up when I cry..

Help me to fight when you want to see the world..

Live well with me..

My boy..

Don't ask for love because I'll keep giving it..

Don't cry because I won't make it..

Cuddle me in exchange for the misery I have..

Kinara's.

"Well.." I stretched out my hands, after a few minutes of thinking and kept writing. I will keep this poem neat. And hope that the next few years, when my son is grown up, will read it. For him to know, even though at first I had rejected his presence, but I loved him so much.

"Have you?" I'm nodding. He grabbed the paper, he read it.

"Ahhhhhhhhh nice." Munah instantly changed his position to sit upright. "Nara, may I touch your stomach? I want to meet him too." I nodded again.

"Honey, this is aunty. Hi, are you healthy in there? You must be happy to have a mother like her later, she's good. You must be good too, right?" I'm laughing a little. "Kinara, he kicked. Well, he likes me like that?"

"Yes, that's not a sign she likes it but she doesn't like being touched eating her kicking."

"Ah fuck you!" Munah just keeps taking the child in my womb to talk. Until one word makes me silent can not answer.

"What if one day when he grew up asking for his father's whereabouts?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not going to talk about it anymore." Munah hugged me, which I thought Munah would never want to be friends with me again when I found out that I was pregnant. What I thought, Munah will curse and hate me right away. I was wrong, was I wrong? Why don't I tell him this from the beginning, so I won't be too depressed. And I'll get a little understanding, which I don't get when I do something that would put my son's life at risk.

"Nara, have you bought any baby gear?"

"I'll just buy it at an online store."

"Ah is not fun. How about tomorrow? You'll ask me to accompany you to Adam's house, after Adam's house we go to the baby shop. How's it?" I'm still thinking, what if someone knows and sees?

"Come on Nara, it must be cool. You already know your son's gender, right?"

"Here, he's a man."

"Yes, tomorrow, huh? Now we're sleeping." Munah retracted my hand again, why did she who seemed so happy when she found out I was pregnant? Ah weird shit.

"I'm gonna have a funny nephew." Still had time to discuss this again when he was lying in bed. "You've prepared a name for him?" I looked towards him.

"Yet. What do you think fits?" I let Munah think, I closed my eyes and let him think alone.

"Nara! What if her name was Juanda?" He keeps bothering me!

"Nara?" His screams were really squealing my ears.

"What?"

"Give your son Juanda a name. You can call him Jua." His name sounds good. Like the abbreviation of struggle. Why have a good idea like this?

"How's it?"

"Alright, I'll give him that name later." Yes, uh Munah shouted again with excitement.

"Are you sleepy?"

"Why indeed? Can't you sleep? Wasn't it you yourself who asked me to go to bed, on the grounds that it was night."

"Yes, it's not that. There's something I want to say." I'm interested, well I'm waiting for him to talk again.

"Just say, I want to hear it."

Munah deliberately made me curious It seems, buying time for me to beg and ask him to say it.

"Are you curious?" Well that's right! Damn me getting bullied.

"Well, then I'll just sleep."

"Eh no, no." Munah who had originally been lying down, he sat back down and leaned back on the bed. Allow the blanket to cover part of his body. It doesn't feel good either my position is lying down like this. I follow him now too.

"Actually, Wahid had also expressed his feelings towards me." Whahuh? I immediately rounded my eyes. "You don't cut my words first, you can only ask later when I've stopped talking." Alright, I relented for the sake of wanting to hear the love of location haha, not friend but friendly like her.

"At first I thought that Wahid was joking like always. And he always said that, right? You know about that." I'm nodding. "And he also said about the proposal later that he would do for me when he had finished his studies abroad. Logically, I do not believe that Wahid can resist his desire to not know other women. You also know what it's like to meet a beautiful woman in her eyes." Heh, I sighed, right Wahid is like that.

"And I don't know what prompted him to say the same thing to my parents. I was in shock, wanting to talk to you. But you don't have time, because you just keep moving away."

"Then how did your parents respond?"

"They agreed, and I was astonished. Why can Wahid say things that are not trivial with ease, without fear though."

"Then what about you?" Munah. Then thrust his phone at me, asking me to read some of the messages Wahid sent.

"You don't have to worry, you're free to be close to anyone. You can even have relationships with others. But you should know that after that I'll still come to propose to you."

"Don't be burdened with all that, hey you're still my friend. Be relaxed as usual, don't move away. You're not a coward, are you?"

I returned the phone when I finished reading. There is a feeling that holds up at this time, every time they see me fighting and Adam always says that they will be a match. How quickly did God hear my prayer? And all I know, Wahid does love Munah, but just a friend. I don't know if he has more feelings.

"She also showed me some messages from her female friend." Munah breathed again. "He was just kidding about approaching my sister. And he did want to buy me an expensive bag." Crazy one! Wahid used it that way? It was incredible.

"And unhappily you're obviously pushy when you ask for it." Munah and I immediately laughed loudly simultaneously. Ah I remember at that time if Wahid had complained.

"And he's also never-"

"What's? Don't tell me she ever kissed you?" Munah nodded weakly. I patted my forehead. Geez, why do men like to do it anyway!

"Because you told me about your biggest secret. Then I'll tell you too." Deg. Don't tell me, he did the same thing with me and Adam? It's just that Munah wasn't pregnant. If so, no, I don't want to hear that. I closed my ears, shaking my head at the thought of the slovenly thing that had entered my brain. It is even well digested.

"Hey, what's wrong with you? What do you think now? Wahid only did that once."

"One time? So you've also lost to your saint?" Munah hit me in the arm.

"No, you crazy bastard! You think too far, meaning only kissing me once, that too when drunk! He's raving it's not clear." I stroked the chest, hah thank goodness if so. Damn brain, why do you think dirty!

"Now, what am I asking is how are you feeling about Wahid?"

"Ah I don't know. It's just that, when Wahid was close to another woman, I was scared. Afraid that she'll forget me, and no longer be able to stay with us." I laugh now, even though I don't know what it is to be in love. But I can guess, that Munah is not actually afraid, but rather jealous.

Ah very unexpected, if finally Munah and Wahid together. Then they got married, oh God what kind of love is this? Why even like the title of a novel and a song, friends become love?

"Why do you keep laughing? You're laughing at me, aren't you?" I nodded, but still laughed. Not laughing at Munah, but laughing at destiny. If they get married, it means that Wahid's words have always been a reality.

"Then, what about your fate when you don't meet him later? Wouldn't Wahid leave the country after graduation?" Munah just shook his head, then confirmed the position of the pillow and returned to lying down.

"Hey, I can't sleep because of you!" Obviously I protested, hearing the story just now the drowsiness that whack instantly disappeared.

"Sleep before praying, so you can sleep well." Goddamnit! She completely abandoned me, Munah closed his eyes not caring about my protests anymore.

I spread my hands wide, it feels good to do this before going to bed. Well, I followed his teachings, praying before going to bed. I always do, but sometimes I forget. And the habit of sleeping well when you cry.

Lord, show me the best path of my life. I closed my eyes and caught up with Munah who had already entered dreamland..

Seriate..