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Chastity loss

The sound of cheering and the deafening sound of music. Hands waving upwards, bodies squeaking around. The smell of their breath that already smells of alcohol. There is no more burden on the mind when it is in here.

I even spent tens of millions tonight. Hiring a club was just for the four of us. So that no one else would disturb. Like a prankster who would intentionally put stimulant drugs into a drink, then take advantage of the situation. I've all sorted out before it happened. So we're the only ones, me, Maemunah, Adam and Wahid.

"I should have an appointment tonight with Elena." I faintly heard Adam talking to Wahid. Then they sat down and talked together. Me and Munah are still frenzied in our jogetan. Laughing together, this room is free for us to act anything.

"How much money have you spent?" Munah asked, I did not answer and grabbed my drink glass. Why think about it, I pay, my mind. I haven't felt bad. I can still clearly see and hear despite having spent a few glasses of alcohol that became my favorite.

"You don't drink?" I asked Adam. Sit next to him and lean my body on the soft sofa.

"Drink, but not much."

"I heard you were supposed to go tonight with Elena?" He's nodding. "You guys dating?" Adam smiled but did not answer. I laughed, and I was glad to hear my friend start playing love.

"Awas is heartbroken Dam!" I laughed in satisfaction then stood up again, swayed as I pleased and shouted off the load. The flickering lights were increasingly turning with their brightness, was this just due to the influence of alcohol? I sat back down, holding the head that started to wail. I have to stop drinking first, before I teller and can't go home with my own car. I am most afraid to trouble others.

"Nara, aren't you afraid to go home dressed like this? If there's a man who teases you?" I laughed again. What a silly question for me. Didn't I get in the car and where maybe other people can see. The people in the apartment are also not like villagers who seem tacky, right?

"Why Dam?" He looked at me without blinking, then the next second shook his head.

"It's okay." I nodded my head, following the music that kept getting higher and higher. The headscarf was not enough, I stood up again. Then take my drink glass.

"Cheers dong first."

"What theme?" Wahid asked, Munah also nodded in agreement.

"For the wicked father and the wicked mother, haha." I laugh. "Dam, here dong you come." Adam stand.

The sound of clashing glasses rang out, we laughed and immediately gulped at it simultaneously. Then jump because the music is increasing the passion of anyone to sway.

And in the end, we who were both limp were sitting on the sofa unfortunately across. It seems that it cannot be said to sit. I was with Adam, my feet even went up on his lap. With the body of the prone position. Maemunah and Wahid leaned against each other. Even though our eyes are closed, the music will still light up. And we'll die when we get out of this room. Adam who could still hold back consciousness, called out to one of the bar workers. He asked for water and lime, things I used to do when I was drunk.

"Nara, your phone is shaking." Adam wiggled my leg. I just reached out to ask him to take it. Who is bothering these nights.

"Mother?" I rubbed my eyes again. What's he want?

"Yes?" I answered with my eyes closed, only to change my position to sit and lean on Adam's shoulder.

I asked where, why so many.

"I'm at the club'." I replied casually, they also did not hear only Adam might be able to hear. I don't know what you're talking about, how can I hear you nagging or saying something. Clearly the music inside was still deafening.

I turned off the phone. But my mother sent me a message.

"Nara, don't cross the line! If anything happens, the mother is not responsible. And tomorrow do not forget to come home, Laras birthday. I want you to come!"

Cih, I put down the phone. Holding my head with both hands. Just forgot about this for a while, why bother! Did he say no responsibility? Andwhat? His stepson's birthday? Haha was even celebrated, while my birthday alone was never as long as I lived in the world. Even I'm sure you don't remember.

I want to laugh now, laugh at my own fate before anyone else laughs.

"Why Nara?" Adam asked again. The two people who were in front of me seemed to be completely unconscious by now.

"I'm sorry I accidentally read your mother's message earlier." I just nod. Hugging her, my tears broke. Even I was immediately hiccuped.

"What kind of parent would say that to their child? And she, not even like inviting me to come but instead makes me feel envious, scorn." Adam rubbed my back. More precisely directly to my skin because my clothes tonight are very open.

"That's it. Didn't you come here to forget all that?" It might be that easy I calmed down. I asked Adam to pour me a drink, I had to get really drunk to forget and wake up in the morning. It is good to sleep for a few hours to be sound.

"We have to go home now?" Adam said when he saw the clock it was 01 p.m.

I don't know who I'm going home with, I don't know.

When we got to the apartment. I felt like I was taking me into my room, laying down my body. But I pulled him, hugged him tightly. Like not willing to live alone. Dan, I don't know what happened anymore. What a hug, a ghost though I don't know.

***

The morning came, rays entered from the gap of the window curtain that was not closed perfectly. I squirm, my bones hurt. My body is limp, I rub my eyes. Trying to restore awareness to clearly see the clock on the wall of the room. I'm trying to remember what happened last night. Who's taking me home? Is it Adam or Wahid? If it's true, I can still be relieved, because they're my friends. Surely it won't do anything.

Is it 10 o'clock? It's not morning anymore, it's almost noon. Crazy, I just woke up. Thankfully, it's a weekend school holiday. The next second I heard water splashing from the bathroom.

I opened the blanket that covered my body, I immediately screamed when I saw my body not wrapped in a thread. My eyes were round looking at the blood rickshaw. I swear, when I'm going down with my heart pounding. I want to know who is in the bathroom. My feminine area is very hot, painful, painful. Oh, my God, what happened last night? What the hell happened to me?

"Who's inside?" I knocked on the bathroom door with a trembling voice holding back the cry. I really have lost my chastity.

I didn't stop knocking, until the door handle opened. My eyes are round, there's no way he's the one, right?

"Adam?"

"Nara?" I immediately turned around, holding tightly onto the blanket I wrapped around the body. I shook my head slowly. Adam, he's Adam, right?

"Nara's sorry." That's all it says. Then close the door again, maybe put on her clothes first. Because I just saw a towel wrapped around his waist.

My phone rings again. I hesitated to lift. I let it go, live and die again. Happens many times. I'm like a helpless man. Sitting on the edge of the bed with a state that has been destroyed. Heart and purity. What if I'm pregnant? I don't want to get married. My journey is also long, school and soon to graduate. I want to go to college too. I immediately thought of something far away.

"Nara?" Adam walked closer. I just glanced at her with a blurred look as tears covered her.

"Nara, I tried to resist. But, but I'm a normal guy who maybe I can't be tempted if you hold me so tight!" He lighted me and tried to calm me.

"I'll take responsibility if you get pregnant. I promise Nara!" That's not stupid! I don't want to get married! Nah! I love you Adam, but only as a friend. Not more.

"Nara?" I looked at it briefly. I can't turn on Adam completely either. It's my fault too, right? He was right, which normal man could resist?

"Go Dam. I want to be alone." I'm lirih. Adam has not moved from his place. "Go!!" I'm yelling. Adam hesitated to step up. He came closer and cup, pecked at my forehead, I felt the warmth of an instant. Then Adam went and closed my door.

I walked into the bathroom, forcing my feet to keep going. It hurts, I still feel it. I sat down under the shower, crying again and hitting my own head. I do condemn my stupidity. Who do I have to complain to now? Oh my God, how could I possibly tell you this with Munah or Wahid. I'm shy.

After the shower, I felt my body limp and shiver. Sit down and bend your legs over the bed. I just let my wet hair drip with a pale face that was like bloodless.

If I complained to anyone I would ask me to get married. I don't want to. "Hiks.." I cry in solitude.

My phone rings again. Mom, I'm sure he called. I looked at the phone screen, it was my mother.

"Nara, I've asked you to come, haven't you today? What's the trouble with Nara? You can even come to your father's wedding? Why is it that when mom asks you to come you always can't? Is it because you always gave you money? If that's all, can you?" Geez, why would you say that to me?

"Mom, if now I ask you to come here because I'm sick? Do you want to? What mom will come, and willingly leave the show at home. He's not your real son, is he?" Mom was silent across the phone. No more noise.

"Can't you ma'am? I need mom now." I'm waiting for the answer.

"Nara, your request doesn't make sense. You're an adult, you can also buy your own medicine, right?"

"So you really can't come? Mom wants us to take a picture together, and capture the moment of our family Nara."

"Sorry Mom. I don't have a family!" I turned off the phone. I throw whatever is near me. The large sleeping lights on the table had also broken. Glass was everywhere.

Now I know, both mom and dad are the same. They just want to show off to each other. Can take a picture with me, and show off.they want to show everyone that I've received a new family.

I was still crying, my hands were trembling as I wrote the short message I sent to Munah. I asked him to come here.

An hour later, Maemunah came. I asked him to go straight into the room. Because the apartment door hasn't been locked since Adam got home. Maemunah immediately stopped his steps, when he saw broken glass that was dangerous if hit by the foot. He shut his mouth to see my already messed up state.

"Near!!" He shouted, then carefully walked up to the top of the bed. He hugged me, I was already weak from the fatigue of crying and there was nothing I ate. Even I couldn't return her embrace. I came back crying without a sound. My gaze is empty.

"Nara? Hey." He framed my face, forcing me to look at it.

"Say what's up? Mammy? Daddy's? Who made you this way?" I can only shed tears.

"We're just sitting on the couch, your room's a mess." Munah helped me, made me walk. Fortunately, he did not see any blood on the bed sheet. Because I haven't replaced it.

"My mom said that to me." I hugged him, as much as I could. I gathered my strength to open my mouth and speak again.

"Your mother? What's he saying?"

I told you everything Mom said just now. But not with last night. I tried to cover it up from anyone. I promised myself.

"Nara? Hear me?" He's back framing my face. "We came to your mother's house. I'll accompany you there, won't you? She is still your mother, after all. The mother who gave birth to you?" May I regret hearing the last sentence Munah said?

Sometimes I envy him. Although the Munah also did not come from a wealthy family. His father was just an ordinary office employee, who had enough salary to pay for his school. You can say there is no shortage either.

But if Munah has told me about his family, he even said that his father was willing not to sleep just waiting 12 o'clock right to say happy birthday. I was so amazed, how did it feel? I really want to feel in his position. Sometimes also Munah often create stories on his social media account. Shopping at the market together with his mother, laughing by showing off a basket filled with vegetables. Simple, but I think it's amazing.

"You done yet?" I finally gave in, obeying what Munah said. Come to mom's house. Just say hello and congratulate my stepbrother.

Munah also helps to clean the broken glass scattered in the room. But I didn't give her permission to touch the bed sheet. The patches of blood that I cover the blanket can be asked Munah later. I could've given you an excuse that I was on the moon. But I don't want to lie anymore, mending me this grave myself.

"You didn't bring a gift? Hey, you gotta look tough in front of them?" Again, the warning. I just nodded and Munah was driving the car. Our first destination was to find a gift. What is appropriate for him? Clothes or what?

He's only one year different from me. So he called me brother. I just feel amused, I'm just my only child and don't feel like I have a sister.

"Here, good?" Even those who choose to. I really don't care about gifts. I think I just want to come, mom is obliged to be grateful.

"Or this one?"

"Which one you think is good." I walked out of the boutique and handed the wallet to Munah. I leave it all to him.

I'm waiting in the car. See Munah who came out with a paper bag bearing the famous boutique logo. I immediately thought ugly, it was good that he could get a fancy gift. The price of that dress. Not necessarily when I have a birthday she can reply to him or just remember and say happy birthday.

"If you're not feeling strong, we'll go straight home." That's what Munah said before we went to Mom's house.

My mother's house is the one where I grew up. The last time it came five months ago, it also just took a school report that had to be collected. I don't miss the atmosphere of the house, not at all. Until we got to the front gate. Securitty, who recognized my car, opened it. She also greeted me, I replied with a smile.

"We're down now." I'm nodding. I guess this is just an ordinary birthday party. Apparently not, even many guests have arrived. Is this a stepson?

Obviously the guests no one recognized me and Munah. We are like foreign guests who if entering must show an invitation letter. Hey, if I can scream, I want to curse at the guard that's at the front door of the main house. They were also strangers, perhaps these were members of the mother's husband.

"Is that so, sir? So if there's no invitation can't come in?" I'm acting like a nobody here.

"Yes, that's the rule. Because you could be the sneakers."

"Sir, he's-" I immediately stepped on Munah's foot so as not to mention who I am. I shook my head as Munah looked at me. He immediately fell silent. The guards looked at us more and more suspiciously.

It's an opportunity for me, if I can't get in, shouldn't I be grateful. Yes, because I don't want to be here right now.

"Why are you still standing here? You better go." His gaze was very sharp. I just shuddered.

"Okay sir, we'll go. Excuse me." I pulled Munah's hand to get away from the house. He threw me out to let go of his hand.

"Nara, are you crazy? You're not a stranger!" He walked back, I can't stop him anymore. Now we have to get back to the guests who came. Show invitation and new allowed entry. Munah immediately approached without queuing first. I could only stare at her from where I was standing right now, in my mother's courtyard. Actually, this is my home too.

"Hey, dear guard!" I giggled amusedly at the act of pointing at the guard's face, not to mention the gazes of the people who were currently standing around Munah.

"Why could you not let Kinara come inside? While he's also the host of this house." This time the guard's face was like disbelief, even he turned to look at his friend asking for an answer.

"If we are not allowed to enter. Please tell Namira's mother. His son was kicked out of his house." Munah walked back towards me. I smiled down, this time all gazes were staring at us. While we were standing casually gazing towards the two guards who looked puzzled. The one running inside, might actually call mom.

A few minutes, after we felt it was dry standing in the yard. She stood at the door, then spread her eyes. I accidentally didn't call him, and just stood there. Let him search for my whereabouts.

Our eyes met when my mother saw me. He hurriedly walked over to me.

"Nara, are you coming?" He smiled happily. I didn't reply and just nodded. Again lazy to play drama.

"Let's go in. I'll punish them both." Pointing towards the guard who lowered his face as me and Munah passed by.

"Basic?" Munah even got to beat him again. In fact, I don't think they're wrong, it's only natural that they don't recognize me. And, they were also just carrying out the duties of their master.

"You're here first yes, I'm going there." I nodded and saw my mother walking towards her friends. Ah so feeling bad, my presence seems to bother him.

"Nara, you see that." Munah nudged my arm. I also saw where Munah pointed. Oh, it turns out there is already a Laras who stands with his friends. Laughing little while talking. I looked again at the luxurious stage. Not to mention the birthday party decorations. It was like being prepared all day long. Wow, that's very special of him. Party in my house. This is also my right, right?

I pulled Munah's hand to immediately walk towards Laras. All of his friends eyes were staring straight at us.

"Boye, happy birthday." I handed her the paper bag.

"Sister, are you coming?" He's very happy. "Thank you, brother." I nodded and put on a fake smile.

"He's your brother?" Laras nodded and seemed instead proud to introduce me to his friends.

"Sister, meet me Marisa." The girl reached out her hand, and took turns one by one. Also with the Munah.

"A very pretty sister. It's a lot different than what's in the photo." He again praised. But wait, photo? What photo?

"Laras often shows a picture of your brother. We also know the social media accounts of my brother. Don't forget the follback, brother." Did ya? Then he means Laras what shows my photo with his friends?

"Sister, are we taking pictures together?" This time it was Laras who invited me, and asked one of his friends to get it through his cell phone.

Seriate..