Sky overcast

Love statement

One week in the apartment, my face is not more clean and white, which is even added Kumal and scrapped. Yes, said bi Gina is one of the effects of pregnant women. All right, I'm giving up on appearances.

I went back to school, thanks to Adam coming to the apartment every day, giving me notes on what was important. So that I don't fall behind and it's difficult to answer about the exam later. Remembering Adam who fell asleep, with his stomach hungry because after school came straight to my apartment.

"You hungry?"

"No."

"But why does your stomach sound?" Adam who focused on writing pretended not to listen. I, who was much better, walked into the kitchen and asked bi Gina to cook noodles for him. But seeing bi Gina cleaning up, I couldn't bear to ask her to cook noodles. And finally, I made my own noodles for Adam. When I came back, I saw him just lowering his head. But I heard the snoring from Adam. Honestly, I can't help but laugh. Until the broth in the bowl fell dripping.

"Adam." He hasn't even woken up. I put the noodles on the table, then pricked his nose.

"He's really tired of helping me." All right, I'm waiting for him, I'm giving him 15 minutes, so the food doesn't get cold.

"Adam, wake up there's a fire!!" I screamed beside his ear. The panicked Adam immediately got up and jumped onto the sofa. His eyes were reddened, he was sound asleep in such a position!

"You lying?" And I got hit, Adam tickled my stomach, I was totally unaware of that. Adam stopped and looked at me without blinking.

"Why is your stomach so hard?" Deg.

"I have a hard time pooping." My eagle and pulled the bowl closer towards Adam. "Eat, I cook for you." Adam silent.

"Don't tell me you're not hungry, even your stomach has rung since."

I smiled remembering that time, ah how would it feel if Adam and I were separated later. Maybe I can only see a tiny baby who is indeed a descendant. And what if Adam already has a partner? I'll definitely forget about me, what else if I get a girlfriend unlike Elena. Understand our friendship.

"You daydreaming, huh? What do you fantasize about? Why are you smiling to yourself?" God, why can't I realize that that person is right next to me right now?

"I'm tired of looking for a kid whose head is bald?" He complained and sat under a tree, which was in the yard of the school.

"Are you out of focus?" I laughed, he grumbled no stop.

"If today anyone wants to be bald, it's only if they have a disease." I sat next to him, Adam said. There is no way that anyone would be bald right now. We've been going around the school, pretending to go through every class. Until Adam met Elena, it was my fault.

"Disease related?" Adam nodded as I asked that.

"Have you ever seen a man who had a disease? Like brain cancer." I nodded again.

"True, there's no way he's got a disease." Adam looked at me.

"That's possible. It's just that he covered it up by not smearing his head."

"Ah no way, my little friend is not sick!" I stood up and walked away from Adam.

"Nothing is impossible." I let go, and Adam chased me.

"You want to look for him again?" I'm nodding.

"What if you think I'm your little friend?"

"Different Adam, you're my friend now." I kept going until Adam pulled my hand.

"We go back to class, it's also free." I nodded, Adam continued to pull my hand. No matter what Elena's friends look like. For Adam it doesn't matter, but for me. They must be talking about me in the back.

I went back to class, Munah was sitting with Wahid by the teacher's desk. Since that incident, I took one step back to keep my distance from Munah. Although I know, Munah does not have anything wrong with me, but I myself am wrong in this matter. I can't be honest with my close friends.

Last lesson, I've been to the bathroom twice. Maybe because going around school makes me feel claustrophobic.

"It's good." After I opened the uniform and the corset. Leaning my body against the bathroom wall, fanning on the neck with both hands. Where else would it be if it didn't produce its own wind. The bathroom is tightly closed, does not have air pantilation. It made me free to do anything without fear of anyone peeping. It's just that it can't stay inside for long, feeling stuffy. Not to mention sometimes there are various kinds of smells that burst into the nose.

When I just stepped out the bathroom door, the bell rang. I don't want to run or walk in a hurry. It's better to wait until it's quiet, so I can freely write down my mobile number. And left it in the drawer, not to forget also the little letter I wrote to Iam. Really, I feel like I'm living in the '90s like this.

"Nara?" I'm turning.

"Adam?"

"Why are you taking so long? This is your bag." I accepted. Then walking along to class, I did ask Adam to wait for me. Afraid to be alone in class when it is quiet. Horror stories usually come from school. Why am I a coward!

"You just wait at the door." Adam nodded, I left my bag for him again.

"Hi, it's Aya. If you remember, call me. I miss you so much. Appearing before me, many stories have been kept since we didn't meet a dozen years ago." I smiled reading my own letter, then put it down and walked out of class.

"Have you?" I'm nodding.

"Adam, I think it's time. Although I haven't been able to meet my little friend in person, but at least you've helped me. It's time I got back at him. By taking you to meet bi Gina." Adam looked at me.

"Ehh I forgot something?" I turned around and walked again towards the classroom, fortunately not too far away. How could I forget it.

I took back the piece of paper that was in my desk drawer, then took out my pen and wrote my cell phone number.

"What did you forget?" Adam caught up with me and he even ran because he was left behind.

"Hehe no, I just forgot to write down my phone number." Adam walked closer to me.

"Nara?" I looked up, still looking at the table. "Can I hold you?" Huh huh? I looked around, it was impossible for me to see again! Obviously the class was already very quiet, and the school grounds were no longer there.

"I want you to be Nara's booster?" Seeing Adam's very sad face made me unable to avoid or reject him. I nodded and spread my arms, ready to welcome Adam.

Warm embrace, I know this really can't be done. What else in the school environment is like this. But the comfortable feeling just flows. There's a swish I never thought before. The smell of Adam's breath that is currently also inhaled by me. When I was about to take off the hug, Adam was still holding me.

Slowly the embrace loosened. Cup, Adam kisses these lips briefly. Then stroking. I was flabbergasted, even to just be angry and cursing can't, my tongue complained.

"Nara, I love you."

"Yes I know"

"More than just friends."

"Adam!"

"I love you more than just friends!" Adam made his sentence clear, I fell silent and lowered my head. "It's not just the guilt, but I do have that feeling." Deg. Did ya? Why do I look happy. "Have you opened your heart to anyone who would like to come and make you comfortable?" Deg, again. This heart beat is out of control. Do I have the same feelings as Adam?

I love Adam, but it's just a friend. Ahhhhhhhhhh actually how love feels!! If people would feel love blindly, then the thing I am experiencing now is blind love!

"I don't want you to answer." Adam pulled my hand out of class. I rubbed my lips a few seconds ago, which was frowned upon by Adam. This time I could feel it in my conscious state. Without having to regret it, Adam was in front of me.

"Sir, wait don't close it yet." Adam screamed as the securitty school guards began to pull the gates shut.

"Why are you guys so long?" His tone sounded angry. Duh, don't let him think anything about me and Adam.

"We got a job from the teacher earlier."

"Oh yeah, be careful on the road." Thankfully, Adam was good at finding excuses.

I had no voice at all after Adam had said that. Until we split up for entering each other's cars. I've been sitting in the car, holding the steering wheel with both hands. But my mind is far away somewhere. Is it that easy to fall in love? So this means Adam asked me to open my heart? To receive it always close to me? Doesn't that mean he's sneaky?

"Oh my God!!" I didn't even start the engine when Adam's car was running. I should be angry! When Adam said it, I should be angry!

***

"Nara, just eat it right away? Auntie get ready at the dinner table." I just got into the room. Bi Gina was already yelling, she knew very well that I was very hungry.

"Yes bi." Not so fast I immediately changed clothes, after removing the school uniform and corset. I prefer to lie down on the bed. Even though it can no longer roll over.

"Eh." I'm shocked, my son kicked. I stroked her, smilingly staring at the ceiling of my room. 10 Minutes is enough. Habit if at home, I now prefer to use the negligee that bi Gina bought in the market, some of which I myself bought through online.

My hand touched the door handle, but my phone rang. I turned around and grabbed him. Walk out while picking up the phone.

"Hallo Ma'am?"

"Nara, it's been a long time since you came home. Are you well?"

"I'm busy Mom, there's been extra hours of lessons at school. It's healthy." It's sad to have to lie all the time.

"Are you coming here tomorrow? Tomorrow I have a Thanksgiving at home. Barrel just recovered from his pain." Deg. Again!

"You didn't come to see him yesterday either." I'm quiet, I've been sitting at the dinner table. Bi Gina looked at me because she saw that my face had changed. With a cry-restrained expression. Funny huh? Funnier than holding a bowel movement? Haha, no I am even still able to laugh inwardly.

Mom keeps raving about Laras. About the disease, its current development. Did he not realize that this was his son? Doesn't he know I'm silent instead of listening, but I'm holding back my emotions. So that my own mouth may be locked and not spit out words inappropriate for a mother, my own biological mother.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Have you finished talking?" Mom immediately fell silent.

"Mom? Can't you call me for any other reason, can't you ask me to come to your house just to say that you miss me? If Laras has just recovered from his illness, then I too have just survived death! You know, I'm the mother's son not Laras. If that's why you asked me to come, until whenever I would never come to see you. Before you know what it means to miss a child."

"Nara?"

"Enough Ma'am. I didn't leave home because I wanted to be independent. Realize since childhood that mother never spoiled me like a child and mother. I know, I'm sorry I was born from my mother's womb!!"

"Nara, what are you talking about!" Tut's.. I turned off the phone. Delete your mother's number and block it. Until you can't call me anymore! Hiks, you fucking cunt!! I promise you, what I feel now will never be felt by my son. Although she has no father, and the child from the results of pregnancy is out of wedlock. I will love him more than I love myself.

"Nara, you shouldn't have said that. There's a point in what you're saying, maybe your mother thinks that you chose to live independently by leaving the house."

"Auntie?" I cried, bi Gina put down the washcloth and washed her hands. After that, he came to embrace me. "What exactly is the reason my father and mother were married. I was born, but what I saw was that they never loved each other. Unlike aunt and aunt husband, also not like Munah's father and mother." Bi Gina wiped my tears. His eyes are also glazed.

"God has predestined everything. We do not know what luck we get after living many years of suffering. You saw auntie, right? Aunty had no children, and in the end God also took the aunt's husband. But God gave aunt more than one child, and one of them was you Nara." Deg. Did ya? But anyone would still want to feel the affection of their real mother, whether they are still alive. Didn't we?

"Your mother will never be able to change, before you also accept."

"I mean aunt?" Bi Gina wiped away the rest of my tears. Then pull up a chair and sit in front of me.

"You know, all this time you've only been cursing indirectly. Prefer to talk to others about your problems. You should have said it to your mother. You just look at the situation without knowing the cause." I lowered my head, what does it mean that I should have my mother speak heart to heart?

"And aunt believes that your stepbrother is able to take your mother's heart. He must have complained about the problems he was having. Now aunt Tanya, who stayed away from your mother you're on your own right?" I'm nodding.

"But that's because there's a reason bi. My mother never paid attention to me."

"Nara, there are some parents in this world who prioritize themselves than their children, and vice versa. Someday you'll understand what that means." I was silent, because I didn't know what to say.

"Have, you eat now." I nodded, bi Gina placed the plate filled with rice and side dishes in front of me. Even though I have lost my taste buds at this time, but for the sake of the child I bear, I will eat it. This was a form of my affection for her even before she was born into the world.

I finished eating, and took a sip of water. Then bi Gina put down the medicine that I should take.

"Nara someone's coming." I quickly swallowed a pill that the doctor said was a vitamin.

"Bi moment." I walked first into the room. Wearing a corset to keep it out of sight, I knew it had to be Adam coming.

I look in the room, see how I look. The comfortable negligee I was wearing was also opened. Change with the usual shirt I wear. When he opened the door, Adam sat down and played his cell phone.

Just to say hello why am I so awkward?

"Nara?" He looked up because he heard the sound of footsteps approaching, I smiled at him then sat down across the sofa.

"You ready to tell bi Gina?" Adam nodded. Then I screamed for bi Gina who had nothing to clean.

"Bi, sit here." I patted the empty space next to me.

"Bi, Adam wants to tell auntie." Adam smiled, then took a breath. Even changing her sitting position to upright, I was sure she herself was at a loss where to start.

"Bi?" Bi Gina nodded, willing to talk also in long-winded manner.

"Adam, I better tell bi Gina if you can't." Adam was silent, now it's my turn to catch my breath.

"Bi, auntie remember the story of aunt who said that aunty actually never look for her husband's employer first?" Bi Gina nodded, only that her countenance had changed. "And the aunt also told me, right, that the employer's husband died in an accident? So there's a cause that requires her death to be hidden?"

"Nara?" I know, bi Gina will prevent me from saying it, because she promised to keep this secret.

"He's Adam bi, he's aunt's husband's employer's son." Bi Gina turned to look at Adam. Adam nodded, then looked down.

"Sorry bi, about my family used to accuse my aunt's husband. At that time I was still too a child, could not defend the mang Suryo. So he chose to stop working." Bi Gina shook her head, she moved to sit down to be near Adam. Her tears had already fallen, bi Gina cried without a sound.

"Bi, has Mang Suryo ever said anything before? I'm sure there must be something he knows about Dad's accident." Bi Gina nodded. Adam immediately clasped bi Gina's hand. His gaze was like pleading with bi Gina asking for an explanation.

"Bi? Auntie better just say it. The family of Adam bi. They had to hide his father's death for years. But I can't find a bright spot." Bi Gina was silent, I knew that even bi Gina had to consider this. If he says it wrong, he himself will be blamed.

"Before your father died, actually aunt's husband already had a bad premonition. So he took the initiative to deliver to the place where the driver who went to deliver waited. It turns out to be true, all his assumptions are true." Adam looked down, he did not dare to raise his face.

"Auntie believes your family's a good man."

"Bi? Did mang Suryo ever say anything related to the accident?"

"Abdi. Only that name was called aunt's husband when crying over your father's death. Aunty didn't know who it was, which surely the aunt's husband never said anything. Just tell auntie not to tell anyone that your father is dead, even if it's to the neighbors of the house. Aunty gave me a reason that aunt's husband is no longer working because your family moved out of town." Deg. My heart was pulsating too, and it turned out that Adam's family problem was more complicated.

"Abdi?" Bi Gina nodded. "I guessed it." Adam murmured while clenching his hand.

"Why Dam?" Adam looked up, right from the moment he looked down he was crying.

"He's my bi."

"Adam, auntie please. Don't ever tell me that aunt said it." Adam nodded, but still did not make bi Gina calm down.

"I've heard that time bi, when the atmosphere of the house was in a state of grief over the departure of the father. I accidentally heard someone call. I know, if that's my own voice. Even though she couldn't see him, it's just that she always scolded me if I accused her. I'm just a little kid who doesn't know anything bi." Bi Gina stroked Adam's arm.

I feel sorry to invite Adam to go out, just looking for the wind during the day. Sitting on the edge of the city bridge. Park the car on the highway. Adam and I stood holding the iron. Eyes looking straight ahead. Breathing out that has been our burden all this time. Adam took my hand and held it.

"It is not expected, if fate only revolves around the environment."

"Your words inspired me to make poetry." Adam looked and smiled.

"Thank you Nara." I smiled and nodded.

I don't know Adam's current position for me, my friend or my son's father? Or my boyfriend, I don't know. All I know is, from now on I want to build a good relationship with him. Opening your heart is not just about feeling love. But I also want to build a good relationship with my family. Just as I was giving birth. But it's just a plan can't yet say promise with anything now that my heart says.

"We're home?" Adam shakes.

"I'll take you somewhere."

"Where?"

"You'll know that later." Adam opened the car door for me. Honestly, I'm very curious. What if Adam took me to his house?

"Just eat ice cream in the city park. What are you thinking?" I smiled, thank goodness.

"I'll buy you as much ice cream as I can." He said again, but he was sad. But he was the one who tried to comfort me.

It's as simple as this, but I'll thank him. Although the source of the problem I'm facing is because of it.

Seriate..