Sky overcast

Story of father and mother

Two days have passed, I am here and my mother's condition has improved. I'm going to talk back, smile and eat what the waiter has cooked at home. But there is something much different with me, if every meal I am always fed by mother. And what I ask, where are her husband and stepson? They didn't come home until now.

Here my mom and I sit. Behind the house is available a minimalist hut. Some of the servants had stayed standing not far away. Ready to do anything if you or I need something. Enjoy the time at the end of the afternoon, with a serving of potato chips balado. I ate it while playing the phone. Actually, if according to health rules, obviously eating while sleeping is prohibited. But I've been too comfortable the last few days having to sleep on mom's lap.

"Mom owes you." I looked up, chewing on the quality of the view from the phone screen staring at mom.

"In debt?" If you owe love, it is true.

"Yes, didn't you pay for the hospital administration? I'll replace it, just send me your account number. I'm sending you the money now." I got up, and sat down. Honestly, I'm very confused. If I say that father paid for it, don't you immediately feel hate. And if I lie, then I will also receive money that shouldn't be for me.

"Mom, don't."

"Why? Isn't that using the monthly money your father gave you?" Deg.

"Mom." I put down my phone. Grabbing both of my mother's hands. Now I'm sure, if I love him. If only I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't want to go back to the apartment, it's better to live with my mother. That's if Asraf doesn't come back to this house.

"I don't know who paid for it either. There must be some good people helping me."

Mom immediately shook her head. "No way Kinara. I don't have any close friends either."

"There is evidence of ma'am. He paid for it."

"Who? It's impossible if you don't know Nara. Wouldn't his name be on the reception desk, too."

"Dad." Reply lirih. Mom immediately rounded her eyes, her face instantly changed. Throw it away from me, look the other way. I saw my mother's breath go up and down uncontrollably.

"Mother, don't be emotional."

"Why does he always try to be nice to me."

"Whose mother calls him my father, ma'am." Mom immediately fell silent. "May I ask you something now?"

"Say." Mom answered but still didn't want to see me. Did that hate show up again? Did you not give me complete affection?

"What happened to mom and dad? Until you can marry your dad? Isn't it every time I fight I always hear that you guys say you never had love?"

"Nara!" Mother snapped at me with a trembling tone holding back tears.

"Mom, I'm an adult. I should have known. And this is also the father asking, you better tell me. And why does mom hate me so much? It's as if mom didn't want me to be born into this world to be a mother's son."

"Nara, it's just a bitter past."

"The bitterness of the past, and now I'm the one who swallowed and lived it Mom." My eyes, ah no. It is very difficult to hold it so as not to fall wet the face.

"You sure you want to hear it?" I'm nodding. "Lay again." She held back her tears from falling. Unlike me who has dropped several times.

"First, mom and dad were just regular neighbors." Deg, I immediately swallowed the salivary. I hope my guess is not right. "Our age range is two years different. We are friends like neighbors. We went to college and just had a semester. I've been through things I never expected before. Both parents had to go abroad for one week. And then the thunderstorm came, the first night my mother was home alone. Unlike now, who had a servant at home. If there is, they will go home and not stay home." Already, the initial storyline that I heard had been plunged into the negative direction.

"And suddenly the lights went out, mother screamed in fear. Maybe that's when your father's parents asked him to come see the state of motherhood. And right, your father's coming. He accompanied my mother, we did nothing. But strangely can fall asleep one room until the morning. And there, the family that knows includes your mother's parents, grandmother and grandfather. They agreed to marry us."

"Why didn't you refuse?"

"No, they assume we've done something. If proven not, then the name of both families will be smeared. And we finally agreed to get married. Mother who still continues to go to college after marriage, as well as your father. Until the agreement is broken, the mother is pregnant. And quit college. Then after your birth into this world, mom went back to college. And there, the fighting continued. Your father cheated on you with your college friend, and so did Mom. Feeling that you have no love or love. Until the end, every meeting there is only a quarrel."

"Mom. Has she not been able to accept me yet?"

"No. From the beginning, I accepted you. It's just that your face, too similar to your father's, makes you always emotional when you see you." So do I have to have an operation?

"The guilt that mom had was too great Kinara. Ever since you were a baby, mom never gave you the affection of a child. I'm sorry, mother."

"Is that why you always ask for a divorce?" Mother nodded.

"Mom was so shocked when she lost a future mother, why? This time, it is the fruit of love. Not because of coercion."

"Mom? I want to go into the room." I can no longer hold back my chest. I want to scream and cry loudly.

"Nadzara?" Not caring about mother's call, I continued walking while wiping away the tears that were dripping down. Honestly, even though I already know the truth, but it feels like I'm really an unwanted child. Would if I married Adam, my house would be like my father and mother?

And I also want to be like mother, when I give birth I will continue college. Will my son feel the same way about me?

"Oh my God, what curse did you give me and my mother? Why is our story so the same? The difference is that mother can still keep her chastity until she gets married. But me? Yes years." I sat down beside my bed. I don't know, I hit my own stomach.

Yes, Juanda! I'm sorry son. If you were born into the world, would you also hate me?

Hixes.. I've lived all these years, this new mother thinks I exist. Think of him as his son. Even though I feel that there has been a change in his attitude towards me. Wouldn't it still hurt to accept this reality?

My condition now, it's really messy. I just want to die after knowing the truth. Why am I losing my spirit now?

I just glanced at it when my phone rang. Turns out Munah called me. He will ask me how I am now. I refused the call, threw my phone. And back to crying. But this time, I really don't have a grudge with mom, don't hate with mom. I am sure that her days were very hard to live while pregnant with me. And also think about the fate of my son who was born later. Oh, my God, I really can't.

***

"Cinara? Kinara's? Awake." That worried voice sounded in my ear. I felt very weak, opened my eyes and saw the stranger in front of me.

"Mune you? Where's mommy?"

"Your mother was downstairs with Wahid, I came here on purpose, because I felt like you weren't okay when you didn't answer the phone and return messages from me." Munah helped me to stand up, it turns out that I was tired of crying so I fell asleep on the floor.

"Tell me exactly what happened?" I was sitting on the edge of the bed, with both hands propping up backwards.

"The past of my father and mother is almost the same as what I'm going through now. The difference is, you don't get pregnant out of wedlock." Munah immediately jumped in shock, initially he sat down and immediately stood up as soon as he heard me speak.

"really? Did you ask your mother directly?" I'm nodding.

"It is appropriate for mothers to experience depression during miscarriage. But if that doesn't happen, I won't be here either. And I don't know until when to hold the curiosity that is always present every day."

The mood of pregnant women is indeed often changed, if a few hours ago I want to stay here and return to live with my mother. But now, I want to go home to the apartment.

"I don't know how my mother was able to live her hard day. While pregnant with me. Ah I'm sure Munah he's suffering a lot."

"Here you go, it's good that you're an example of your strong mother giving birth to you into the world. But, don't you hate it when the child is born."

Munah asked me to clean up. I also wanted to hide my body under water. Silence everything until my head is cold again. Tidying up again my appearance that was chaotic. Munah helped me comb my hair, I sat quietly in front of the mirror after I finished taking a shower.

"Well, has there been any news of Adam?"

"Wahid said Adam had told him. And I can go back to school."

"Can I ask for your help?" Munah.

"Tell him, I want to meet." I miss! There is so much I want to say and ask. How is his condition at the moment? If he undergoes therapy should also be much better condition, even though it has not been declared cured.

"It's done. We're going down now, right? Meet your mother and Wahid, they're in the guest room."

"You go first. I'll cover my stomach with a corset."

"Ah no, I'm just waiting for you." Heh, what can I do now? Munah's worries have exceeded my mother's.

After I thought I was done, I asked Munah to leave the room. He kept holding my arm while going down the stairs. From a distance, I saw the figure of my mother sitting. And Wahid, he who heard footsteps ticking with the floor immediately turned his head. I smiled at him. Wahid also returned my smile, only his face showed concern. What was? It's impossible right, if Munah tells her I'm pregnant now?

"Sit next to your mother." Munah took my hand off and pushed my body slowly to sit beside my mother. I don't mind, but just as mom saw me remembering dad, so did I. Seeing him now felt even more pity.

"Are you guys going?" Munah and Wahid looked at each other.

"Yes Aunt. Can we take Kinara out for a second?" Huh huh? Goddamnit! Why didn't Munah tell me this earlier!

"Have you guys eaten?" They shake simultaneously. "Then come on, eat first."

"Ta-" Too late, mom's already standing. I was hungry, but the other with them. Maybe it will feel disinclined.

"Follow it out."

Sitting at the dining table, with a sumptuous meal. I miss bi Gina's cooking. I cook soup more often, but I like it. You don't have to eat chicken.

"Kinara, why are you eating so little?" I added my rice dishes.

"Mom has already."

"Well, you eat a lot. Surely you haven't eaten since morning?" Wahid said that. The servants looked down, but their shoulders trembled as they held back a laugh. You don't know the place! I know that Munah is checkmate so he can only smile while clenching his teeth. Maybe if there wasn't a mother here, Munah would've hit her by now.

"Have come to eat, if less can be added." Eating in silence.

"Open your mouth." I opened my mouth, and I just wanted to be fed by my mother. Did ya? The food I chewed was much better.

"Open your mouth?" I looked up directly. My God, why doesn't Wahid feel disinclined to have my mother here.

"It's okay, Auntie was also once young."

"Yes, let's open your mouth." He forced Munah to open his mouth. His face was already flushed, but still accepted the bribe Wahid gave.

Crisp laughter just came out of my mouth. Hearing Munah begin to grumble upset because of Wahid's behavior.

After eating, I told my mother to go with them. I don't know where I'm going, I don't know. The pending quarrel at the table is now continuing in the car. Munah was unceasingly nagging. Even though I'm not the one who got his scolding. I was still hot hearing it.

"Munah, can you stop talking."

"You see, he's not ashamed. There's your mother Kinara, and the waiters looking. I don't think it's appropriate."

"You heard Nara, it means that if there's no one they deserve it, right?" I'm getting bored, the car hasn't gone either.

"If you want to fight, please. I'm gonna go down and go back inside." Crick.. Crick.. Silent moment.

Wahid immediately started the car engine and drove it. Produce, now it's my turn to ask. Where they're taking me exactly.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Hem, there's a new open cafe in the area here. You should know, the place is good." No, I think it's still a lot better cafe on the edge of the lake.

"Munah, didn't you say that Adam told Wahid?" Munah nodded, and asked me to directly ask Wahid.

Later on, I didn't want to disturb his focus on driving. Just wait a few more minutes until you get to your destination.

Ah I sighed annoyed, the place is not as beautiful as a cafe on the edge of the lake. I think it's normal. And not too crowded here, maybe there are only a few visitors. The number of places that are available seems empty.

"Don't tell me the food is good. We've eaten it's impossible to eat anymore." Munah even laughed.

"Why come here anyway." Again, I felt sorry for coming with them.

"We sit there." Wahid pointed at a place far from the cafe stage. I prefer the quiet. But the two of them really intentionally did not listen to me who was grumbling.

"You don't like the place?" I clearly shook my head with a lip. Pull up this chair made of wood and varnished with a little hard.

"Nara, what are you drinking?"

"I'm not thirsty."

"Come on, we're just gonna have to wait a minute"

"Hi, have you arrived?" Deg. The voice I missed? No, there's no way Adam's here, right? Isn't he sick now?

"Ah this is the man we're waiting for. Sit down, Dam."

"You guys have been a long time?" Wahid and Munah answered. My heart is pounding right now, I can see that smile again. And Adam, is he smiling at me? Why am I even this awkward?

"Kinara, are you well?"

"I should ask, are you healthy Adam?" Adam smiled and nodded.

"As you can see." Answer's relaxed. But his eyes were like those of a sleep-deprived person.

If only, I'd only be here with Adam. I will judge him, how could he not return a message and answer the phone from me. Not telling me, while he can make an appointment to meet Munah and Wahid. Ah am I worthy? I want to be angry now. But, am I not just a friend. And Adam also has the right not to tell me.

"Do you really not want to order a drink?" Wahid offered me again.

"I, I want a warm orange." Uh I'm not drinking ice right now.

"You're not eating?" I'm shaking.

"We ate before we left, Nara's mother brought him to eat. Can't be if you refuse?"

"Kinara's mom?" Munah nodded, meaning about this Adam did not know.

"It's been a few days since Kinara's been living in her mother's house."

Adam just nodded. Oh mouth, I can't wait to ask you about his illness. Why did Adam still look so relaxed?

"You're not sick, are you?" On the sidelines of Munah's conversation with Wahid, Adam asked me. Maybe this is his chance to keep the two of them from listening.

"No."

"Why are you just silent? You mad at me?"

"I don't have the right to be angry." I started drinking the warm drink I asked for. I didn't even look at Adam. Why did the shadow of my past come into my mind at this time? What if I married Adam? Will my family be the same as my mom and dad? Eh don't! Don't I want to get married?

"You daydreaming?" I immediately turned my head, my fucking head can't be conditioned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't reply to your message these few days."

"I know, you're on your way through medicine because of your illness, right? Stop pretending to be healthy Adam." Adam was silent. He looked away and drank his drink. Then again talk to Wahid and Munah. Discussing the graduation exam to be conducted in two days.

"How did you guys find a college place?"

"If I had, I would have enrolled my father at a university not far from where my father worked." Munah first makes sure his future is guaranteed.

"If it were me, you'd know." With his arrogance Wahid also boasts of his lectures later abroad. Ah I'm so envious, definitely cool. If I wanted to I could have asked Dad. But what about my son?

"You how's Nara?"

"Eh, me? I don't know." I smiled, Munah looked down after seeing me. He knows what I feel now.

"Adam, is what your mother said true?" Munah asked, ah finally he who dared to ask this.

"What's that?"

"You're gonna go after the graduation exam to go abroad for treatment." Long Adam answered, and only clasped his hands. Then look towards me. Wh why? Instead of answering, I knew it too.

"Hem, did my mom tell you?"

"Yes." Yeah."

"I don't really want to."

"Why?" I answered with care. "Do you not want to heal?"

"Because I know, I'm not going to get well." Deg. I wouldn't have lost you Adam. Does this feel more than just a friend?

"Hey, don't be so weak!" Wahid patted Adam on the shoulder. And me? I turned my face when Adam looked at me.

"I'm too weak." I hate men like that Adam! Be strong!

I've lost my spirit. Not that I wish I could live with Adam and my son later, not that. I just want him to heal and still be friends with me as usual. Even if it's impossible, God will listen to my prayer.

Sky, can you be my confiding friend tonight? I was too embarrassed to admit it in front of my friends. About my mood. I feel fucked up myself! Are Wahid and Munah just like me? Saddened by Adam's disease? If so, then the worry and feeling I have is still the same.

"Come with me, there's something I want to talk about for a second." Adam whispered in my ear, when we had already decided to go home.

"Let me drive Kinara home." Munah and Wahid clearly agree. They need time together, right? Maybe they will discuss their relationship again, which he says will be married. Honestly, I still feel funny about it.

"Come in." Adam opened the car door. I nodded, let me be ready to hear what Adam wanted to tell me.

"Nadzara?" I'm turning. His face seemed to want to talk about something serious. "I know, you don't want me to talk about this. And our journey is still long. We haven't even graduated from school yet." Deg. Whatisthis?

"But, go back in time. Where I ruined your life in one night. Promise me you'll only marry the man I chose. Who are ready to accept you for who you are. With your condition that is no longer holy. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rule on who your soul mate was. But I just want to see you smile and be happy, even though we're different nature later." I shook my head, I didn't know what Adam meant to say.

"Kinara, I'm just waiting for the day of death not healing." Deg. My tears fell.

"I love you Adam." I can no longer lie about this feeling. I'm worried, God.

"If you really love me, then listen to me Kinara. Just one request. You want to accept the man I'm going to marry you to. All I can make sure is he's good." I can no longer answer, I can only cry without a sound now. Swallowing the reality. God, right? Even I was already feeling sick before I was really sure I was in love.

Seriate..