Sky overcast

Is that love??

According to Adam's promise to me, today after coming home I will be taken away to the navel. The place where his father rested. I can't say this to anyone. Even Adam threatened me. If only his father were alive, I would have known him too. One more happy news today, Munah won the poetry race yesterday. The charter and the trophy he gave me. And strangely, the charter also bears my name. How could?

"This is also because of you who read it with passion." I gave it back to Munah. I just wrote it, it doesn't feel right if I'm the one who accepts. And yesterday I wasn't interested in performing arts either.

"Nara, you know. The work is very expensive. If you don't want to accept it, it's the same as stealing your work."

"But that's true." Munah hit my arm, even pinching it.

"You've always been honest if you want to corner me. Take it, take it home. Then you tell your mom and dad. Who knows, you'll get a bigger award. Extra pocket money for example." He chuckled amusedly, still had time to think about money, I was upset.

"Nara?" Munah also turned his head, but Adam just called me.

"Could come with me for a minute, I'd like to talk." I'm nodding. But not just because Munah let me go.

"You want to talk some good? Is it now starting to play secrets?"

"No, you've been waiting here for a while." Munah finally relented, and sat alone in front of the class.

Adam took me to the back yard of the school. Then ask me to sit down. While he just stood up.

"Dam, what the hell is going on?"

"I just want to ask for an opinion." Then Adam walked back and forth. Then stop, and look at me.

"Say what's up? I'm even more confused if you're like this, Dam?"

"Hem, forget it. Let's get back to class." Adam pulled my arm again, as I passed through the canteen I threw his hand away. Not because many people see it. But I feel weird seeing it. It initially forced me to come along, but it didn't even speak. Why the hell? Did he have a fight with Elena?

"Sister Adam? Brother Nara?" Adam and I looked back. Turns out it was Elena, if she just wanted to reprimand Adam. That means my guess is wrong. There's something else Adam wants to talk to me about.

"Elena?" She smiles. "I'm first Dam. El first yes." And after I left. Elena and Adam were sitting near the canteen. I still occasionally turned my head, still irritated and curious. Adam said what? Did he say he didn't go later. Ah but what a hard thing is to just say. Don't have to take me to a quiet place. Huh I basic that at least can, if there is something that obstructs this I must continue to think about it.

"Where's damam?" Seeing me sit back, Munah asked. And now there's Wahid here.

"In the canteen. He just asked me to accompany him to buy some food in the cafeteria earlier. It turns out Elena was there, so I've just stayed with them."

"Oh. Uh how was last night? You're going home to your mother's. That means no problem, right? The proof is you're still enjoying." Heh, I sighed.

"Yes it still is. I didn't leave the room until the afternoon. Mother still forced me to stay the night, but I didn't want to."

The mother who ate with her stepson and Asraf. I didn't want to eat with them at the dinner table. I asked for my food to be delivered to my room. I, who was in the room, could hear their laughter. Joking at the dinner table. I'm honestly envious. What's more when I peek out from behind the door, the mother who painstakingly poured food into the dish Laras and om Asraf. The more I know where I am, I'm just a stranger in that house.

If only, mother persuaded me with all the gentleness she had. I'll definitely eat with them. Imagine, if I joined last night, wouldn't I really feel cornered? And instead Munah said, I have to tell both my parents about the achievements I got. Cih, I'm sure they won't care. Uh but not really, I'd be willing to listen about this.

"Yes, that's what Nara is. I was also surprised by the same. Why are you even asking about this? You see it now. Nara's face is so moody."

"Why am I the one you blame?" I'd be deaf now, if they joined.

"Yes that. You shouldn't have to ask me again about that. Whatever Nara's been through, does she have to tell you?" Munah fell silent, then he held my hand, grasped it.

"I'm sorry, Nara, I don't mean."

"No. Wahid is over-speak."

"You are overkill!" Now Munah judges Wahid. They went back to arguing. I don't know when to get along, sometimes you've gone both ways. Funny, my friend is weird.

"Hid, how do you relate to her brother Munah?" Wahid smiled before answering me.

"I went with him last night. She's beautiful, kind, gentle. Not like his sister." Wahid pointed the head of Munah with his finger.

"You see, I'll get a much better-looking girlfriend than you."

"I wait, please look. Never mind, you're destined not to have a boyfriend. You're also going to marry me." Uhuk, I immediately choked, because of the sudden shock Wahid said like that. Does this mean Wahid proposed to Munah? He likes Munah?

"Basic crazy!!" Munah stood up and immediately pulled Wahid's hair.

"Aw sick?" Not stopping, I have to what now. Indeed they are always like that, uh don't-don't be right they are paired.

"Hey, what the fuck are you guys!" Adam came alone, then where was Elena?

Wahid's hair was out of shape. All of that is Munah. He sat back down without feeling guilty. Wahid bothered him again, saying Munah's nose, holding his chin while saying. "O my future wife."

"If love says love hid." Adam is sitting.

"Eh, a minute." I stood away to answer the phone. The satria? What does he want to call me.

"Hallo?" Saying slowly. I don't want them to hear, surely they will not stop mocking me.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Well, what's the phone?"

"I'm a nuisance, right?" I looked at them for a moment. It turned out that only Adam was looking at me without blinking. I immediately turned my face away.

"Not really. But I'm at school again. Are you not in school? It seems so quiet that there is no sound. Satria laughed.

"I've been to college." Duh, shame me. His name is also I do not understand too much when I meet, his face is grown or not. However, today can not guess the age through the face alone. Sometimes some look old when they are young, and vice versa. For example, like Elena, if anyone says she's still Junior High. Those who do not know will believe.

"Yes, then I'll hang up. Don't forget to reply to my message when your time is free."

"Eh yes." I put my phone in my school uniform pocket. And sit with them again.

The bell home from school was ringing, I asked to change clothes first and then be ready to go to the navel. Adam followed my car from the back, to the apartment. I can't just let it go outside.

"I'm thirsty." All right, I'm asking him to come in. There is also a bi Gina in the apartment.

I opened the apartment door and asked Adam to sit down. I walked towards the kitchen, and called bi Gina. But there's no answer. Then go into the room. Everything is neat. Has bi Gina gone home? I pulled out my phone. Geez, it turns out bi Gina has sent a message many times. I miss him and want to tell him a lot of things. All right, if I could just come to his house today. Just to visit her husband.

"Dam, bi Gina is home. You can get your own water, right in the kitchen? I'm gonna change my clothes first." Adam nodded and walked towards the kitchen. I closed the door immediately.

As usual I'll put the school uniform back in the basket. I looked at him, then I saw my body in front of the mirror. Currently, after the womb has entered two months. My stomach still looks flat, it's just that my breath is starting to suffocate. Bi Gina said, when I was 3-4 months pregnant it was already starting to look. I'm even more comfortable sleeping in a negligee dress. I only have two, I'll buy them again. And also a T-shirt that size XL, so if I wear it later out of the house is not visible. Yeah, I need to start preparing for this.

When I opened the bathroom door, I intended to wash my face. I slipped, one hand supporting my body backwards. I screamed because I was spontaneous. "God." I wanted to get up, but I felt like my legs hurt a lot. I stroked my stomach and hoped he was okay.

"Nara??" Then Adam heard me scream. He helped me stand up. Put my body in the direction of the bed. "You okay?" I just whimper. "Why can it fall? You're not careful, are you?" Adam put one of my feet in his lap. Then I saw a bruise on my ankle.

"You got massage oil?" I nodded, then pointed towards the desk drawer. As I remember it was there.

"Here, let me go." I nodded, though I had to grimace as Adam pressed on the part that I thought was the point of his pain. "Next time you're careful." I'm nodding. But the name is also calamity, want to be as careful as anything can still fall.

"It has. Try you to stand up. If we can't, we can't just cancel it." I'm shaking. No, even if it was canceled, Adam would be disappointed.

I stood up and felt my ankle was good, but when I was about to step I felt pain again, so that my body did not have balance.

"Eh." Adam immediately pulled me and fell in his arms. My body fell on top of his. Our eyes met each other, the roar of breath was heard. My God, why is my heart beating so fast? I'm sure Adam must have heard it, too.

"Sorry Dam. I was not intentionally. My feet don't hurt." I stood up and walked into the bathroom. Although the leg pain was still painful, I walked a little limping as well. But it's not because of this that I'm like a sick person, right?

I came out of the bathroom, and Adam was not in the room. Thank God, I think he's still waiting for me.

"You sure it's okay? Your leg?" I nodded and smiled.

"Isn't there a masseuse?" Adam laughed, and approached me. He stretched out his hand to hold me.

"I'm afraid you're falling again." I'm nodding. Right, it could even jeopardize my pregnancy.

***

I've reached the navel with Adam. Before I stepped I looked up at the sky. Then be ready to step in. Garden grass decorated with large white stones, yes when I was a child, I thought the navel was a garden of grass.

The dry leaves are dragged along as the feet step, falling from some of the trees here. Adam still held my hand as he stepped, even though he did not go hand in hand. Sometimes he looks back, making sure I'm okay. Walking a little limp did make it difficult for me to accelerate. Adam stopped, and I stood right next to him. He turned his head and smiled, then pointed towards the white stone inscribed with the name "Hendrawan Agustama". My eyes narrowed, when the wind hit.

"He's my dad. Dad I'm coming, it's Kinara." I smiled, even though the buried soul was not here. I'll never even meet. Forms and forms that I never knew. Adam crouched down, then rubbed the white stone as a sign of identification for who had died. I also realized that someday I would be in the same place as her father. And everyone will be too. Join feel separated, different nature and forever will not meet again. If God wills, it will be met through dreams.

My eyes were heating up, for some reason I felt so much sadness. Like already know the figure buried under this mound of land. Adam pulled my arm, he asked me to come crouching next to him.

"Dad, your son made a mistake with the woman who is here with me right now. I want to break through it by marrying her. But he refused." I looked towards Adam. He continued to babble alone, his voice carried by the wind. May it be revealed to whom he is speaking at this time.

"Adam?" He turned his head, the hair that had bangs in front just flew away as it looked at me. His face had light, I did not know which light was shining on Adam's face. "Did you ever bring Elena here?" Adam shook his head, he smiled then looked back at the navel.

I could see, Adam's breath going up and down uncontrollably. Her eyes were glazed over, I could only stroke her shoulders. Asking him to toughen up, anyone will feel it later. Adam's position now. It's just, I hope, and want to ask God. For both my parents to die was not due to the intentions of others. It was time for God to call him back.

"Elena's just my girlfriend. While your position is still far above it. You'd rather I introduce you to dad." Adam, hiks. I looked down, our hands clutched together. I shook my head slowly, I did not know what Adam meant. But it managed to touch my soft heart. I've never felt this special, never before.

"After we graduate, you'd better show that you can succeed like your father. You have to be serious about learning. Even if he's not here, I'm sure the sky will show you that your father is proud to have a son like you." Adam looked at me, then shook his head. I felt my hands gently touching my cheeks, running every inch of my face.

"Nobody can be proud of me."

"Why?"

"You, the reason is you're Nara." Deg. Me? Me why? My brain is always long loading.

"Me?" Adam nodded.

"Yes. I failed before I started." He lowered his head, taking off the hand that had originally touched my cheek. Then turn toward mounds of land that live in weeds. Adam pulled them out one by one. And I followed him. Looking clean, Adam and I remained silent.

"You'd better pray for your father now." Adam nodded, every one that comes to the navel must be just for that purpose. Pray for those who are not in the world.

"Nara, I want to say something." I nodded and waited.

"If at any time, I am called by God first. You should promise to always visit the navel. So that I don't plant excessive longing from a different world." Adam, why are you talking so!! I am afraid and afraid of losing you.

"Nara?" I'm staring.

"I'm sorry for everything I did that night. Will you start from the beginning. I promised in front of my father's belly button not to hurt you. Open your heart, and stop not wanting to know love. So you don't feel alone forever."

"Adam ma, what does that mean?" Adam nodded and smiled.

"I'll introduce you to what love is. You will feel heartbroken, happy, able to smile and cry. Can be felt at the same time."

"Adam, I don't understand." I shook my head, I couldn't digest Adam's words well.

Adam got up, he didn't answer my question. Adam said goodbye to his father to go home, then extended his hand towards me.

"Let's go home. Do you want to sleep here with my dad? Could my mom be jealous of you?" She laughs. Hey, quickly forget the topic of conversation that I don't understand. Adam did not explain it. He even asked me to drink ice after sitting in the car.

"Hallo Ma'am?" I glanced at Adam as he received the call.

"In a moment, yes, the doctor said at 5 pm also still can really."

The doctor? Who is sick? I looked towards him.

"The sick mother. And have to check up regularly to the doctor." He knew if I wanted to ask him.

"What is all that and what does it have to do with your father's death?" Hesitating I actually asked like this. But Adam nodded. He even knows what I want to ask.

"It is only natural that every wife feels. You'll feel it one day too."

"But my mother doesn't."

"That's because your mother has no love for your father." I gasped, changing my seat to face Adam.

"Huh? Where do you know."

"I'm just guessing. Why are you even that serious? Yes, if you have love, your mother will not be separated. Sorry about Nara." I'm nodding. What Adam said is true.

"And, if a woman has love despite not being married. When left behind, there will be no appetite for life. Because half his soul is gone."

"That's too much if it happens to lovers." Sewot.

"You can't believe it, you'll definitely feel it."

"Then I won't open my heart as you suggested. I want to live alone, to feel my own problems. Without having to feel the sadness of being left for dead." Say lightly. Adam sighed, maybe he was already furious with my answer.

"Did your mother cry before? When you got divorced, did your mom cry?"

"No." Adam smiled.

I remember that, even mom called someone who I don't know. I only heard it when it accidentally passed through the living room. Mom sat on the couch, folded one leg. She even smiled happily to say that she was divorced. It was like finding the treasure that he had been looking for all this time. I remember clearly, when mom said. "I am free."

At that time, I didn't know anything. And also until now, I know since Adam every day describes to me how someone who has feelings. Just one I wanted to know, but wasn't ready to hear. Even if it was my mom or dad who said it.

How can they marry without love?

And how was I born, while they were not in love with each other?

What's like me? Pregnant woman out of wedlock? And I was born, so they regret having a daughter like me? To date, I have not found the answer. Only one thing I often guess, yes it's most likely pregnant women out of wedlock. And had to marry my father. What their relationship was like, I don't even know. I never met a single photo of their memories as a young man. At least one, about their togetherness before marriage. Nothing, and I've never met in every corner of the house. Even in my mom and dad's room. The curious thing is I even opened my mother's wallet, but still nothing. There is even a neat line of cards in his wallet.

"How can you keep daydreaming about what love is? Nara, that love can only be felt instead of thought." Adam shook his head, and then he came down without taking me. I don't understand that I've actually reached my destination. Until I was resuscitated, we stopped by a cafe.

Ha's? Was it the cafe at the time? The cafe where Adam gave Elena a surprise.

"Adam wait?" I'm trained to chase him. Does he not realize that my leg hurts?

"Adam? Why here? Is Elena here?" Adam nodded and smiled.

"Don't you like this place, this lake? Even you always looked at him when we were here yesterday." Ha's? So far he's watching my moves?

When I sat down at the place yesterday. I smiled at her beauty. The lake, I like it. Adam always knew what I was thinking.

"Are you ready?" His words again I cannot guess. Ready what? Jump to the lake?

"Will you know love?" Deg.

Seriate..