Sky overcast

Gender is known

This longing is so intense. Shouts with hugs given them as soon as they knew my arrival. Honestly, I refused to meet because of my current circumstances. I just often leave greetings, send money for their daily lives. And sometimes deliberately order their favorite food through online.

"Sister, we miss." My tears welled up, the taste of this haru gushed. Imagine their happiness now, who used to sleep on the streets, rain and heat they would feel without a roof. The ever-moving shade, the seedy appearance. Now my brothers are far from it all. Bi Gina really took good care of them.

"Sister, I'll be in the middle of my high school exam." I stroked the top of the eldest son's head. Ah never mind, no longer held back these happy tears.

"You have to study hard?"

"Yes, brother."

Bi Gina smiled warmly, asking me to go inside the house. The house I built with money asked my father. Ah he's involved in this, just don't know knowing.

"Bi, have they eaten yet?"

"It's over, and it's over."

"Sister, when do you eat pizza again?" Oh, my God, they like that, don't they? Just one week ago, I sent pizza here.

"It is fitting that the rich like it, sis, it turns out to be very tasty. Mix soft bread with meat, eat with sauce." Glek, it's true that I myself also had time to swallow the salivary when imagining his words.

"You want to?" Pull it from their heads.

"All right, I'll order for you."

"Yesin.." Well, the cry of excitement itulho makes me disappear instantly.

Sitting in one of the rooms with soft-bristled carpets, I deliberately did not buy them a sofa. It looks more comfortable and clean. I also feel sorry for bi Gina, having to take care of three houses at once. The apartment, the house itself, and this one, the house of my sisters. Even though I want to give Gina double bi salary. But bi Gina refused, arguing the salary she received from dad was more than enough. Every time I ask her the nominal how bi Gina never wants to call it.

If in my apartment, I can feel cool with the AC. But here it's different, this big fan is enough. The wind here is also a lot, because there are still many trees around the house bi Gina. My eyes stared at the wall. I never thought I would buy them that. It looks like a street painting and some kids are playing. Real beautiful. I stood up even on my tiptoes just to be able to touch her.

"Bi, did auntie buy it?" I asked without looking towards bi Gina.

"no? Aren't you the one who bought it and sent the package here?"

Me? I never ordered and bought these wall paintings. I'm interested in discussing this, who sent?

"Bi, I never ordered this wall painting." I'm sitting next to bi Gina.

"Attent." Bi Gina walked towards the back of the house, seemingly wanting to show me something.

"Sister, don't forget the pizza." I chuckled, they ran out of the house again to play, no matter the heat that started to rise right over the head.

I opened the app on my phone, ordered the food they wanted. While waiting for bi Gina to return from behind.

"Done up!" Click, and wait for the food to come. So easy now, anything can be done only through a mobile phone.

"It's Nara." That big cardboard bi Gina put in front of me. I grabbed it, read the package writing on the cardboard.

Right, there's my name. The time and date of booking are so clear. But I really never bought it, even I just saw this kind of painting now.

"Bi, besides me and my aunt who knew about them, didn't Adam know?"

"So this is Adam ordering?" I nodded, who else if not him? Isn't Adam the father of my son who is quite mysterious? I'm sure there's another secret that Adam has hidden from me.

I pulled out my phone, found Adam's name and called him. I have to ask this now.

One call just passed, only the operator answered. I'm still trying again, until the fourth call. Adam answered my phone.

"Adam Hallo?"

"Nara, what's wrong?" His voice sounded a bit whispering.

"Adam, what are you doing?"

"Hey, did you forget I was still at school? I was in a hurry to get to the bathroom because you kept calling."

I looked towards the wall clock, my God I forgot that it was still in study hours.

"Nara, what's up say? If it wasn't important, you wouldn't have called me over and over."

"Hem I just wanted to ask you something. Did you buy a wall painting for my sisters?"

"I didn't hear what you said, I'll see you after school."

Heh, I can only sigh when Adam has switched off his phone. I put my phone down again, and looked at the cardboard in front of me.

"You don't have to worry about this, auntie sure who sent you must be a good person. Proven that this is a beautiful painting. Try to observe the frescoes." I followed bi Gina's words. "Look like they're talking? I mean their aunty lives on the streets." There is also a bridge over the children who are sitting. Ah I'm pretty sure now, this painting does depict the lives of street children. Decorated with overcast skies they sat with their feet bent, depicting an atmosphere of worry when looking at the sky that would drop thousands of water.

"Sir, someone's coming." Me and bi Gina immediately got up. No taste, ah the food has come.

They've been running around following me into the house. Sitting neatly and smiling impatiently waiting for the warm pizza to open.

"Eat." That scrambling hand, I'm glad to see it.

"Sister, we're dying to play a game." Deg. I just gave them a television here. Honestly, my current finances have indeed been thinned, father has not given me monthly money.

"Don't do that, Brother Kinara hasn't worked." They immediately lowered their faces, feeling guilty for daring to ask me for something.

"Bi, it's okay. They have the right to ask for it." I smiled, well I'll ask for the monthly money with dad early.

"Bi, this afternoon is a check schedule."

"Sister sick?" Uh they heard, I thought I was focusing on food.

"Yes." Yeah." One of them moved closer to me. Holding my forehead, measuring my body temperature with his hands. I laughed, they were worried about me.

"If you're sick why come here? I'm sorry, brother, we've always troubled brother."

"Where did you learn those words?"

"From mom. Mom always said we were alive right now because of sister's help." He, he's the eldest here, must have understood this.

"No, sister doesn't feel that way." I looked towards bi Gina.

"Nara, don't always obey their will."

"They're still bi kids."

"Come with aunt for a minute." I'm nodding. "You stay here, and spend the food that Kinara's brother has bought."

"Yes, Mom." Reply simultaneously.

I followed Bi Gina's steps, until I reached the kitchen. Bi Gina asked me to sit down immediately. I know for sure bi Gina wants to talk about my check schedule today. And pick a place where my sisters can't hear it. Because they are growing up every day, like my current gestational age. If they put their ears on, they would know what I was talking about with bi Gina if they were nearby.

"If it's your check-up schedule today, why did you even come here and ask auntie to come home early?"

"I miss them so much. They're also one of my ardent."

"Nara, but auntie also has to accompany you every time you check the contents." Bi Gina was right, but couldn't I bring bi Gina again to the apartment. Uh, my chest is suddenly tight. Every time I think of heavy things, lately it's always been so.

"What time will the doctor come?" I remember again, because every time Linda's doctor comes it must be around 2 p.m. And now, ah right just one more hour.

"Can you come with me to go home now?" Bi Gina immediately nodded without thinking. All right, I have to give them a reason.

"Auntie get ready first, you wait a minute."

"Yes bi."

I saw that the pizza box was empty, all the food had moved into the stomach and was left in the hand that had been bite marks. I smiled, they ate it.

"You like it?" I sat back in their midst, stroking the top of the head gently. Not everyone, just what I can achieve.

"It's so like, brother."

"Yes, next day we buy again huh?"

"Yes, brother."

"You stay home, don't play outside anymore. Better rest inside the house. Brother will go for a while with mom."

"Where's brother? Buy the game we asked for?" Geez, I really can't refuse their request, seeing this innocent face. The graceful blink of an eye of every child that was before me. Without me noticing all this time, they were handsome and beautiful.

"Yes, but sister didn't promise today huh. Brother has business."

"That means tomorrow, brother?" I'm nodding. My body is no longer visible if it is looked at, covered by the crowd of those who are scrambling to hug me.

"He's my sister Nara!"

"He's my brother!"

"My brother too!"

"Hey, he's all your brothers." Heh I sighed in relief, finally bi Gina came to save me.

"Sister, we still miss."

"Sister will come back here later, and can be longer with you. But not now." I rubbed the face of one of them. Which is the youngest little girl.

"No promise?"

"Promise."

"Here you go, come on Nara."

Bi Gina and I stepped out, walking through a neatly arranged bamboo fence, with colorful patterns on each bamboo. The neighbors of bi Gina greeted warmly when they met us. Ask where you're going. Not to mention there are boys who might be older than me. Tempted me by asking bi Gina.

"Auntie, what's the name of the girl with aunt?"

"Hehe." Bi Gina simply smiled and turned her head towards me. What can I do if I don't return the smile? Walk and then bow.

"If you're not pregnant, auntie's also gonna have a match with one of the lads here."

"Auntie?" I was shocked to hear his words. "Since when did aunt have this kind of thought?" Bi Gina simply smiled and opened the car door.

"I don't want to be betrothed bi, dating let alone get married."

"When is Kinara?" Deg. I'm shaking.

"Do you really like Adam? Has he now gone from Iam to Adam?"

"They're the same guy bi."

"That means aunt's guess is right." Ah my goodness, since when is bi Gina good at teasing me?

"It's bi." I drove the car, away from the alley of Gina's house. Entering the highways that stretch during the day.

"You have to tell Adam about this Kinara. When your child is born. No matter a few years later, but certainly Adam deserves to know. Because it's his son." Deg. I need to focus on driving.

"Bi, I can't. How do I tell Adam?"

"You certainly can, because it's inappropriate for Adam to hear it from someone else. Especially from aunt."

"I'll think bi."

It's quiet, bi Gina might know if I'm a little offended that she should discuss this. Even when my mood is calm. Because for me, hiding a pregnancy that is growing every day, that alone is very difficult for me.

***

A few minutes waiting, Dr. Linda has arrived. Carry the equipment I requested. In the next few minutes I'll know the gender of my son. It feels like my heart is getting pounding. If he were a man, would he look like Adam? And if she was a girl would she be the same as me? Ah no, no. I realized I was so stubborn.

"Lay." I followed the doctor's orders. Pulling the cloth covering my abdomen, staring in focus towards the not-so-big screen.

"Why is his heart rate so weak?" Disappointed face clearly seen from doctor Linda, she snorted like angry with me who can not maintain the health of my own baby.

"Look, the position has turned. At seven months, the baby's head will be facing down." I nodded weakly, the words of Dr. Linda who said that my heart rate from my womb was weak had left me a little discouraged.

"See." I can only see the shape of the face that I can't believe what it will be like when I'm born.

"The sex is male." Oh my God, as I expected.

"Well, man." Bi Gina was also happy to hear that. Not that if my daughter's gender I don't want to, it's just that everyone has a desire. Even though I was pregnant I didn't want it.

The examination was over, and it ended in an injection in my body.

"It was an injection of vitamin B9. To avoid nerve defects in the fetus. Especially considering the weak heartbeat, I gave him the appropriate dose."

"What effect is the doctor?"

"Nothing, all you feel is a long pain loss after the injection. Not like the last months." Thankfully, I can still hold back if it just feels sore.

"Doctor, then what about the fetus in my womb? Is it very dangerous if his heart rate continues to weaken?" Bi Gina was already sitting next to me, she kept stroking my arm. He knows how I feel worried right now.

"Obviously very dangerous, didn't I say it last month? I hope everything is normal too. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. It can also affect fetal development." I'm nodding.

"Auntie will shop for vegetables and fruit for you. A lot more than aunts usually buy." Bi Gina was scaly slowly, I smiled hearing that.

"Do the vitamins I give you every month you always drink?"

"Yes doctor, I always drink." Doctor Linda nodded, she began to open all the tools and fold them neatly into the bag.

"Bi, who's coming?" Me and bi Gina looked at each other. Oh my God, how is this? Doctor Linda is still here, and I'm sure that only the people who came here were close to me.

"Doctor, sit down first. I'll get you a drink."

"Not bother."

"Eh no doctor, wait a minute." Bi Gina blinked her eyes at me. Uh I have to get Linda's doctor to talk so she doesn't rush out either.

"Doctor, what about my birth? I just want to do the surgery."

"I have prepared a suitable hospital."

"I want the best doctor. He said there were also those who gave birth to perform surgery but not too long to feel the pain. That is, um the stitches dry quickly." Doctor Linda laughed a little. Wh why? I'm not wrong, am I? I just don't know what language is more appropriate when talking to a doctor.

"Can." She smiles. "It all depends on how much it costs. More precisely the money we prepared."

"Oh so, doctor, thank you."

"Is there anything else you want to ask?"

I looked towards the door that was still closing, bi Gina had not yet returned. Who's coming? Oh my, bi Gina hurry up.

"Eh I want to ask, what if the name of the hospital patient who gave birth can be hidden?" Doctor Linda frowned. "I'm sorry doctor if my question is confusing."

"On patients who are in the hospital, we can confirm to the receptionist to maintain privacy. But, if the birth can not, because the name of the mother who gave birth must remain registered." Ah I'm dizzy. The medical world really confused me.

"Bi?" Bi Gina's face looked puzzled, after returning from the outside.

"Doctor, is it over?" Bi Gina gave a warm tea to Linda's doctor. He took a few sips, then put it back down.

"It has. Sorry I can't finish the tea, I also have to leave immediately because there are patients waiting."

"Let my doctor deliver." The two men left me alone in the room. I'm very curious to ask bi Gina, it feels like a long time. I can't wait to walk out of the room. Looking around the sofa, there was no one empty. Ah means bi Gina managed to evict the uninvited guest.

"Nadzara?" I gasped in shock when bi Gina suddenly appeared.

"What are you doing?" I pulled Bi Gina's hand into the room. Close the door tightly.

"Bi, who's coming?"

"Adam." Deg. Adam's?

"Then bi? Where the hell is he?"

"Auntie says you're sleeping and resting." Heh, thank goodness.

"He believes bi?" Bi Gina nodded.

"I'm sure he's gone."

"Thank you bi. Aunty's been helping me a lot all this time?" I hugged him with warmth. Warm feeling like hugging a mother. I don't know, or the feeling of a hug from my mom is warmer than this.

"Auntie just go home on public transport, you take a break."

"But bi, is it okay?" Bi Gina shook her head and was still able to smile. Lead me back to bed. True yes said doctor Linda, the pain of the injection marks can not just disappear.

"Bi be careful."

"Yes." Yeah."

I didn't go to sleep right away, just lying down and grabbing the cell phone that rang the notification sign of the incoming message.

"Nara?" It turns out Adam, actually I've also guessed that he was the one who sent the message.

"Yes Dam?"

"Are you really asleep?" Meanin? I had to rack my brain to decipher Adam's question. Wasn't I replying to a message from her? Why even ask?

"A few minutes ago I came to the apartment, and bi Gina said you were sleeping? Are you really sleeping?" Oh my God, I forgot! Adam made his message clear.

"Sorry, I just woke up." I had to lie again.

"Can we meet?" Think, yes I think first. If Linda's doctor says that my gynecologic heartbeat is very weak. That means I can't do activities, because I have to use a corset to cover my enlarged stomach. No, I have to refuse.

"Sorry Dam. But I'm not feeling well." I actually miss him, too.

"All right." Heh, thank goodness Adam didn't force it. I put the original phone back. Why does it taste so bad like this? Rejected Adam's meeting many times. And I haven't even had a chance to thank him for his actions looking for the perpetrator.

Ah!! I shook my head slowly. Walking into the closet, I haven't had a cigarette in a long time. What can I do now? Me, I'm so sad for now.

One pack is still neatly stored in the closet, along with the matches. I sat down by the window. Staring fiercely at the trees swaying by the wind. Waving towards me, cold eyes looked at the greening. I feel like stretching out my arms now, flying like a bird enjoying the outdoors. I'm not locked up, just forced to shut myself up.

Damn, I've finished one cigarette, but I'm not satisfied. I pecked the match again, taking one more stick from the cigarette pack. This time I looked down at the parking lot of the apartment.

Wait, who is that? Who's looking at me now?

"Adam?" He folded his hands together, standing leaning his body on the front of his car. What do I have to do now? My body felt stiff, was it from this height that Adam could see me clearly? Crazy one! Since when was he there? What was earlier? From when bi Gina kicked him out? Ah all the questions fill my brain now.

I closed the curtains and sat down. Shut off the new cigarette just a few suction. Up on the spot, hugging the bolster. But my eyes can't be closed.

Ting. My phone rings again.

"Thank you for setting yourself up in front of the apartment window. That way I can feel relieved, make sure you're okay." Deg. Adam's? I want to run down now. Hugging it, my God I really have a strange taste at the moment.

"Adam!" Why am I crying, what should I repay?

"Until you meet at the graduation exam." No, I'm weakened. Even if it's only a matter of weeks, why wouldn't I be willing? Why not, isn't that just a little while?

"Are you angry because I didn't want to see you?" I hope Adam will return it soon. Whatever answer I will receive.

Nihil, until I yawned from drowsiness, there was no more reply from Adam. All right, I'll just go to bed. Maybe Adam's on his way so can't get a message back from me.

Seriate..