Short Story (Cerpen)

Unbiased

Category: Love Story In A Heart Submerged

Title: Unbiased

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One year, yeah for a year I waited for him. Waiting for an uncertain love, a false love and a falsehood that brought me so much love for him for that one year.

It's not interesting to be too revealing, it's ordinary love, not special love like everyone else sees. But this is too deep for me to feel. I love her on my stupid side, my stupidity for letting her out of my reach. He's the one I've been waiting for, and I've been waiting for a year, but it's pretty painful.

She used to meet me, looking at me in between her jokes with her friend. Giving a false shadow of his false love. I did not give up on reaching out to his heart, which was too high for me to reach. Like heaven and earth, it is too much possible if it is revealed. We never said hello. Smiles never, just a smile when he or one of us accidentally bump into each other, that's when I fall so deeply into this false love.

'Ran, where are you going?'. Ask Bela, my friend.

'To the cafeteria, would you like to come?'. Take me.

'Eh willy-nilly.' Connect Bela.

—

I saw her I loved, sitting in the long bench of one of the canteens at our school. I just glanced at him, looking at him who might not know where I was.

'Ciee there's more to it.' It was Temptation of Bela that made me smile.

Bela knows all my feelings for him whom I have always loved, Bela always supports and encourages this false love. He knows exactly how I feel.

'What is the Bel? Dieeem answered, who then bowed my head in shame.

We are, yes we are me and Bela. It's not me and him I love. Sitting opposite. While in the cafeteria, and all that time I stole a glance at him. She was too sweet for me to see. He who gives color to my day, gives passion at every step of my dreams, and he also gives false dreams in my dreams.

'Ran, you know not yet. Tomorrow classmeet has futsal?'.

'Udah, why the hell? Isn't every event futsal?'

'Yes, but this time he played.' Temptation Bela again, which made me feel even more embarrassed about the conversation.

'Shhhhhhhhhh, don't say it out loud, ntar he knows. But really, I must have been watching in the front row to get him excited.' My answer.

'No papa, the important thing is that he can know also you can be relieved. Yes really, sip if that.' We ended the conversation in the cafeteria that afternoon.

Still with this false love, I looked at him across the street laughing with his best friend. His typical laughter made me smile that little thing. As I left the cafeteria, I couldn't see who I loved, who was in a falsehood.

My gaze cannot be separated from the one I love, he is a tall white figure that I have admired and he who brought me into the falsehood that I did myself. I could only look at him from afar, see and join in cheering like the others that was enough for me. Enough to make me happy to see him this clearly, without any awkwardness to look at him for long. A smile that I can give to encourage him who is playing. At the end of the event, he who I love was injured as a result of his position replaced with another. This heart had been moved to approach him, but what this false power was holding me frozen in the corner of the school side. I could only look at him, look at him with pity and hope he would be okay. Even though I couldn't reach her, accompanied her and clasped her hands because of the pain.

'Ran, look. He got a really big injury, huh? You please gih.' Bela said to me, who is still faithful to keep looking at him whom I love.

'Yes, but not Bel. I don't dare, I hope not papa even though he seems to be in great pain.' I resignedly replied, in this helplessness that could not help him.

Shocked, shocked, yes it is a feeling that I feel when I see a woman approaching him who I love. The woman sat beside him, embracing his shoulder and with a smile the woman tried to calm him whom I loved. I don't know how I'm going to deal with this, I can only look at them. The woman tried to treat him, wash his wounds, smear the red medicine to give bandages to the wounds on the legs of him that I love. It should have been me, I who was accompanying him did the same as that woman did. But it wasn't me, I'm still here, in the corner of the school. Stand while looking at them, in laughter and togetherness. This heart is muddled when they see that they seem happy in that atmosphere, and perhaps an atmosphere where they are full of love and togetherness. It's wonderful, but there's nothing else I can do.

Bela knows that the one I love is being injured and treated by a woman. Bela just stroked my shoulder, indicating she was trying to give me the spirit not to shake this false-hood-covered love.

Time kept turning, day after day I passed, morning and night kept changing. We arrived at the end of the second semester at our school. I who still faithfully love him whom I love in falsehood, the more the day goes by the more I feel this love is impartial to me. There is nothing but me to admire and love in secret. There was never a chance for me to reach out and reach for his heart, as if time and opportunity were impartial to me to get closer to him. This great falsehood took me and let my heart be washed away in love.

He and I still meet often, as usual in the emptiness of encounter as if we wanted to reach out to each other. But this awkwardness holds us back - me and him. Only the sight speaks of a sense that has never been revealed, and never read. Could he feel the same? That's the feeling that keeps haunting me, trying to explore some side of her life. I can only follow this story. Trying to accept the reality of our selfishness because there is nothing between me and him that I love to melt the ice between us. That selfishness came to this moment, a time when I could no longer name this selfishness. It is more than great selfishness.

He whom I love, he betrays this falsehood of love. I don't deserve to call him a traitor. But all of this has happened, I am hurt, so sick, it makes me feel like I am falling and I can't stand, and I cry in my solitude because of the one I love. He incised this grievous and deep wound of the heart. I'm disappointed, disappointed that I shouldn't deserve to leave all this disappointment to him. Because he is not who I am, he is only a figure that I have always loved without his presence.

Everything has happened, I endured this pain when I met him. Even though I know, I can't pretend not to want him to understand. Bela told me all the news about him, including this disappointment. In fact this is what happened, he who I love now belongs to the woman, yes the woman who helped him when he was injured. The woman who washed her wounds, gave her red medicine, and gave bandages to her whom I love now they have become lovers in a bond of love.

I don't know anymore, I can no longer accept this falsehood of love. Until I decided to put an end to this love, the love that was already so deep I felt. He incised a deep wound.

Time returned rolling, days hours minutes and seconds passed. The wind that brought love passed, after a long time I decided not to love him anymore. Now I try to know him as a friend, a friend of the struggle in this school. The school that taught me how to be polite, wise and guided me with the knowledge I gained, and also this school that taught me how this false love goes.

Over time, I've seen them the one I love with that woman. They both walk together. It was bitter, I could only breathe deeply, bowing my head to this disappointment of mine. The regret of my selfishness to let it go belongs to another woman. But what the power of it all has been, and all that is the story of the past when I loved him in a falsehood for a year.

I still meet him, the one I love has now changed into him. Yeah, he's my friend now, I call him Reno. It's the one I've loved in falsehood all along. Now we're friends, after the turn of the year and the rise of that class.

'Hey, Ran where are you? I'm looking for you, he said earlier to teach me to make a task?.' Ask him, Reno, the man I've always loved. Now he's my friend.

'Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Later on Reno.' I said, and we looked at each other. Drowned me back in her sweet look and smile.

However, this falsehood has now disappeared, because I, Renifa Putri who had always loved Reno Bahktiar Pratama we both have become friends, and will probably become friends. Although sometimes the regret is still there, and now I let Reno choose the woman, which is one of my friends named Nanda.

Sometimes love is full of falsehood, until finally I let him go along with the sense that it disappeared in the reality that I had to accept. It became a love story that maybe only me and those I trusted knew about, making this a memory sheet of a year ago.

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