Short Story (Cerpen)

end of love story (part 2)

Category: Love Story

Title: End of Love Story (Part 2)

_________________________

For the second time after the verdict connect again - like a courtship, we do not have a commitment because of status. Only TST (know the same know). For the umpteenth time we also often make arrangements to go out together either lunch or dinner.

Days pass and memories after memories are engraved beautifully, sweet not to be forgotten. That is the expression of my heart and hope that his heart will be so too . Yes we do not know until when this relationship takes place, whether it will end happily or even messy or go back to the beginning just friends or good friends only. Surely follow your heart only for a decisive time. “Time will tell,” quote language my friend.

It does not feel like we have entered December, the month that Christians look forward to celebrating Christmas and New Year. Glad to have a long holiday.

Chatting that afternoon:

Me: “Deniz, I'm finally done watching the encounter. Good film.”

Deniz: “Christmas tuker yuk” gift

Me: “ayo only, when?”

Deniz: “ya christmas dong. Piye by mbakanya.”

Me: “hehehe huh when did I mean?”

Deniz: “hmmm when yes. Hehehe after the new year only if it is”

Me: “lah you said natalan. Piye toh mas”

Deniz: “yoi. The new year also includes natal”

Me: “hehe yes also. 1 package ampe new year. Possible. There are no conditions?”

Deniz: “what are the terms?”

Me: “ya don't know. Who knows what that can be. Free right?”

Deniz: “iya free, any ideas? For terms and conditions”

Me: “hahaha 1st. Not food, 2. Helpful and effective”

Deniz: “asek's. Philippian. Where's natalan's brother? I'm playing at home huh?”

Me: “do not know where, still confused. Between at home or to the parents' house.” In my heart I wish he was at home so he could play.

Happy every day if we are both on duty can chat and entertain each other even like fun. In December our schedule is not regular, especially me because the exchange schedule so that we can have a new year Christmas holiday at home. While the schedule remains the same only permission for how many days is on Christmas.

Well, it doesn't feel like it's getting anywhere near December 20th. Remember that gift exchange plan because it was Christmas until the new year I went out of town, so I just bought a Christmas gift for him in Gramedia. I know he likes to read, he's a collection of several books by Anthony Robbins entitled “Awaken The Giant Within” and “Follow Kata Hatimu” by Andrew Matthews.

I'm curious about the contents. So I find out to Gramedia, wow it was a good book. Very inspiring and motivational as well. So confused about buying which book for him. After hunting and reading, I finally decided to buy 2 books at once. The title is “Trust Works” by Ken Blanchard's Inspirational and Spirituality and Book is titled “If It Sicks, Not Love by Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D.

The book I brought when on duty, and the plan I will give you will want off with the condition that the card can not be opened first until Christmas or new year later. I know if he hasn't bought me a gift would be confused what to buy.

Christmas and New Year passed by. It's time to get back to my town and get back to work.

Deep down, did I have to end my story that year enough. And I'm focused on my relationship. I should be able to neutralize my heart and want it to feel completely neutral without feeling love for it. Want it to feel just as a friend, good friend, sister Brother who remains mutual attention and sincere love. It is not easy, logic can think so but the heart and feelings are difficult to control. Even though I was close to him not always I followed my feelings but sometimes in some way I still think about everything, how to keep this good relationship going without damaging our other relationships.

There are so many questions in my heart that I have not yet found the answer. And not knowing if I would get the answer in time or until the passing of this relationship I did not get can only ask in my heart. Another day I will end my vacation period and soon return to my city, we agreed by text to meet again. We have missed each other and want to meet soon to let go of longing. Yes, as usual we made arrangements at the usual place to meet for the road together. Eat together, chat laugh and laugh the two enjoy being together.

“Kakak I kangen” said the words spoken with his sweet smile that I like. We also hugged.

“iya I also miss knowing it feels so long we did not meet” Warm hug that I feel like she. The kisses of his forehead and lips added to the excitement of the day's meeting. It felt like always being in his arms, being caressed gently by him being pampered. Wanting to float high with a delusion that I knew was impossible.

Hit menyekuKakan at 4 pm, meaning you have to go home soon. Because if we walk together at 4 or 5 p.m.

“wah already in the afternoon it feels bad to go home. Still want to be together. Can it be time to stop beating?” much

“iya uh brother, really great cepet ya taste. Though just met also but yes it's okay, there are still other days anyway.” His style of speech is calm and sometimes sounds spoiled, full of calm and affection.

Oh yeah, he hasn't given me a new year's Christmas present yet, did he forget. Ah it is impossible to forget, at least not bought because confused about what to buy. I am curious and impatient. The holiday period has run out and responsibilities must be implemented immediately. Tomorrow I have to go to the location. But mingle with the spirit of the new year will meet office people again. Pretty much innate, souvenirs for work friends.

I usually work about 2 weeks but this time 3 weeks. Wow, I don't like how it feels. But yes want how else, must be lived anyway yesterday-yesterday was also a long holiday as well. So enjoy working ajalah thought I was encouraging myself.

January almost passed with full impression. Yes as always there are always new things and new stories that make my life more colorful like rainbow colors after rain. I spent February hoping for better than the previous month. Well even though there are problems I face but I try to cover it up and try to look cheerful always. And yes, some people at the location once said that I look cheerful like I have no problem. My laughter ranted, yes I am grateful that I can be a spirit for others.

When we are excited, the person who sees us will be excited. Even strangely again my boss comments, he said “You are sick even laugh the hell mbak?” Yes I replied “ya when I have to cry mas, laugh ajalah let not feel the pain. The crying in the room is enough, time in the office. Not funny kan” My boss replied with a smile and said “iya, ya”

This February seems like our meeting was not as intelligent as before, but the chat, the phone was never absent. I think that's enough, I'm happy to be able to tell you what, as well as being very open with me. We can talk about many things and exchange life experiences, especially during college. It was so nice to remember that time, as if to bring it back to that time and carve out other memories.

That's what I always felt about him. I need a friend like that. Friends where he can give the attention and affection we need especially understanding of what we are experiencing. I am so grateful to know her with such an interesting personality. I don't look at him physically but rather at his personality, his attitude and his character. And I think only this time I found a young man who has the motivation and passion for himself for his development he is always learning and learning in order to form a mature character, good and wise and always humble. How's my? What does he think of me? Wah happy tomorrow want to day off accidentally or planned also finally off together.

Chating:

Me: “de, I may not be going home this Wednesday.”

Deniz: “loh kok can not be home?”

Me: “ya can dong. kan wait for you to go home. Hehehe”

Deniz: “asy yes po? How can?”

Me: “ya dong hehehe yes not because you are also times, my B2B still has business so I ask to finish first if it has been settled new to the location is okay. But the transport problem is full tomorrow. Uhhhh deh.”

Deniz: “lah can be set tuh moved another name to the next hour. Hahaha”

Deniz: “gak can, the house people always come home at that hour. Later if asked what I said?”

Me: “oh so yes. ya already see tomorrow aja how?” want to feel good, why can't. All this time my feelings have always been good. Every time you request I can make it. Why can't you now. But I thought so. I also have no right to obey my will.

Deniz: “iya brother, hopefully can seat tomorrow.”

The day came, finally off too. If you want to off it feels really good. After being tired of work, it is time to rest and refresh. After arriving at each other's homes we kept in communication. Sms, phone calls and whatsapp. Honestly, for a few days, I thought and thought somehow something stuck in my heart. Logic speaks and invites me to define our relationship. Logic asks, until when will like this continue. Until when to live this love while there is another love that is always faithful. Logic asks, what exactly does he think about this relationship.

What he really wants out of this relationship. Because I think every person in a relationship has a purpose. There can be many reasons for that. Is it just for “Just for fun”, “Seriously get to pelaminan” or “Seriously live it and let the time that will answer” be like endless love. Logic kept asking, and I thought hard about trying to answer that question. Is it time to end this relationship? Or is it “You started, you ended” Are I ready to let go of this relationship that I feel comfortable in between these inconveniences. Would I be the better off deciding it or would I wait for him to deliver.

Oh my God, what should I do. I know this is all wrong. I can only surrender and beg for directions. Even if it has to end I hope I am ready and strong to release this feeling that feels deep. Logic tells me to do something. And my logic kept me thinking until the end.

Today I want to spend the day breathing the free air out there. Want to go to the beach and sunbathe, want to relax for a moment to eliminate the fatigue of the desire to go alone so that you can all reflect and remain silent in union with nature. Looking for inspiration to live a better day. But if I go alone, yes I walk alone the beach is quite far. I like to walk alone but that day was a worry too. A strange feeling.

Me : “Hai hi again what? Plan today what?.” ask me through sms.

Deniz : “at home only, focus with Project. Where are you going?”

Me: “I want to go out anyway, want to breathe fresh air relax.”

Deniz: “where are you? Dong beach?”

Me: “yup really, I want to go to the beach. Want nemenin?”

Deniz: “hmm, not today yes tomorrow Tuesday only me meenin”.

Me: “that's it? Yes, tomorrow if so. We'll meet you later where?”

Deniz: “looks at that kak”

Me: “oke de see you tomorrow.”

Evening has arrived. Suddenly my phone rang, whatsapp tone came in. I read it from Deniz. He said that he was sad because the motorbike was made by his brother-in-law's work. I really want to meet me. Yes I am even happy if he does not bring a motorbike, so I can pick him up at his house. “oke if so tomorrow I pick him up in the park aja ya”

“okee kak, siippp,” short answer.

This morning I woke up this morning and because there was still important business I left the house early. If the road is early I can sunbathe still healthy, if bad luck is not sunbathing to be healthy but even scorching and headaches deh. “Haha” laughter in the heart.

Yes, we can go to the beach. Crazy, I haven't been to the beach in a long time. I don't know how many years it's been. So excited to change the beach now. Wow cool, cleaner and tidier. There are lounges and long benches near the beach under the towering spruce trees make the atmosphere more cool and comfortable to relax. Do not use the old, immediately get out of the car and move the stool to near the beach and sunbathe. Unfortunately, the shape of the chair is not like a chair in the pool or on the beach in Bali there is a backrest to relax.

But enjoy the morning sun. She accompanied me, embracing me from behind while occasionally stroking my hair that was starting to grow long. So sweet we laughed and looked happy. You can go both, enjoy the beauty of the nature of his creation, breathe the air of the beach and a comfortable atmosphere.

Which, that's my dear call to her. With weight I try to express.

“until when are we like this? How long can we be together like this? take a long breath.

“hemm, we chatted in the car aja yuk” his invitation to me. He took me in the car.

I looked at her face and repeated my question.

“yang, until when are we like this?” He answered with an unusual face.

“according to Brother until when?”

“ am I the one, answer me. What exactly do you want that? What do you want from our relationship?” the mood was silent for a moment. He was silent for a moment.

“ya I also do not know until when” while still I look at his face.

I wanted to see his reaction and look at his face for my question. I also explained, every relationship must have something to expect. Do you have no hope for this relationship? Why do you think I want to be with you, why would I want to walk with you? Try to answer why you think.

“why brother? come tell me why” because follow the feelings and hearts of Brother huh?

“ya, that too. Ever since I met you, I felt comfortable and happy because you were so caring and understanding. I let my heart and feelings flow. But you know my status. There must be something that can make me double like this. Yes no?”

I tried to explain the truth even though I didn't tell everything. I was depressed and I tried to cover it up from anyone even though my family might know about it. Life is a choice and we have to be consistent to live it. I made my relationship with her look okay so she thought there was no problem. Let me feel this and all go. Time will tell.

“Kak, I want her back to Brother. Sis until when? What does your sister want?”

What I like about him is that he is always open and wants everything to be communicated. True, communication is the key to a successful relationship and I learned from it to be open and honest with myself and honest with our partner.

“I don't know either. You start, you end. You just say when and I'll be ready to accept it.” Sounds very strong when I say that sentence. In the heart raging.

The atmosphere feels sad, “Abviously Brother is not sad? Brother can accept?” his voice was soft and sounded sad.

“It must be sad that, I must be sad and do not know how it will be. Like you said, sooner or later it's gonna be over. Like it or not, want it or not. Aye right?” Huft.

I wanted to reveal my wish but my mouth was locked. I have an answer to that question I asked. I want us to stay like this until September. At least before that we can keep our distance, and I promise after that month I will focus on my relationship. Automatically I will be able to forget you, not forget you but eliminate the feeling of like and love for you. Just want to leave genuine affection as friends and sisters only. Because whenever I can't forget about us and all our love stories, all the memories of our days together. Hemmm, take a long breath. If only I could reveal all that. So that he understands and accepts.

“We will see later yes brother, while walkin aja first Oke”

“It's noon, it's laper. We are looking for food yuk Kakar” but not here yes the food is not good. Let's find someplace else.

“Oke\= we are out. I want to go to the beach restaurant cool place and view, the food is also ok taste. But I don't know if there's still no restaurant that hasn't been there in years. Just once with temen”

Lunch late and not breakfast this morning, but it's okay. It doesn't feel like afternoon .

“After maem I take you home yes, let me not kesorean also I go home”

“oke kak” answer.