Short Story (Cerpen)

Kilometer Wall

Category: Sad Love Story

Title: Wall Kilometers

_________________________

People say that love is the most beautiful gift for humans. By meeting a pair of people who do not know each other initially, create friendships, make love, and then separate.

People say that love is the strongest thing that cannot separate two hearts. Why did the farewell happen? Divorce, for example.

Lies. All that bullshit. Nothing is eternal, not even humans have an expiration date. So too with love. Don't trust too much with love.

It seems, we are often intentional to watch movies or soap operas or drama series whose stories are romantic and predictable. Women meet men, they get acquainted, make friends, travel around the world to get tired, rest in a complicated relationship, raise your feet to the waist, then live happily. Classically. But that is the reality of drama.

Hii. We are too high in imagination. The delusions even the powers of dreams can no longer be grasped by logic. It was all like dejavu, he said. 'Yes, I've been this way', said a girl who always considered herself the saddest in the world. No, you're not alone.

Life is indeed a couple. Rich-poor, old-young, short-lived, life-and-death. That's how it is. The world, the world... can all unite because of love, he said?

For a couple of lovebirds who have been convinced that they are a soul mate united by God, love cannot separate everything. They believe that all the problems in the world they can solve both, together. They are willing to die together to show that their love is eternal. God, is that so simple as love?

At any time, there will be questions about what true love is and the answer will be confusion. What would be answered if in reality there was no such thing as truth in this world but God?

Alright. Love is something that cannot be described or even measured. It is in a state under the human consciousness. I don't know where it came from and ended. All that is known is how it is conveyed to the soul that is willing to accept it for what it is, nothing. And, only those who have heart and sensitivity can feel and have love. Does anyone want their love to be accepted and reciprocated? Everyone wants it, for sure.

—

There are times when love cannot overcome everything in front of us. Whatever it is. Know it? Distance is one of them. It was so free, my love was lost because of the distance.

Distance has changed and changed everything I feel. Changing the pattern of thinking and making me fall into a longing that never arrives on time.

I got to know Adith for three months, through social media that I knew it was a virtual world that had a big difference and was much more different from the real world. But time says something else. We met at a health seminar in Jakarta. We got acquainted and continued our relationship further. And that distant relationship forced us to stay far apart. At that time, Adith had to live in Tokyo for several years. Then, what's the problem? Only a heavy time difference between the ridiculous thoughts of these two lovebirds. Then, moreover?

Apparently, right.

I couldn't understand my own thoughts, even to think of Adith as usual I was hard. Lots of memory even load passing. Concerns about the ability and responsibility of loyalty are things that become commitment.

Indeed, the commitment that Adith has is huge. And I believe that there will be no woman, not even anyone who approaches her other than me, her family, and her co-workers. I recognize his colleagues, though. Then especially?

I am so happy to know Adith. The dentist who was continuing his studies in Tokyo was the only man who never promised me anything but a future and happiness while he could still make me happy. I never asked for anything strange and I never reached into his pocket for my own sake.

Seven months after we dated, Adith returned to Indonesia for a short vacation from her studies. He purposely met me and my parents. For the first time, a man came up to me and asked my parents for permission to let him have a relationship with me. My mother didn't say anything, neither did my father. They just sent me a message to take care of Adith at all times, asking her not to hurt me and leading me to be a good woman. Adith also agreed.

It still rings in my ear what Adith said back then and what she did to me. Adith said that she would love me as much as possible, occasionally she kissed me gently on my forehead and stroked my hair. We laughed under the sky that night. There is nothing but us. Just the whirling of the waves and the gusts of the sea breeze. Occasionally sounding friction crab child passing.

'hihihihi' I laughed amusedly and Adith hugged me, tightly.

—

Adith packed up and was ready to go. I looked at his back with worry. I don't know, I think there's gonna be a deep longing between us. Me moreover. I stroked my chest and tried hard. Adith's eyeballs pointed at me, looking at me deeply and smiling. I know, Adith wouldn't leave me.

The age of our relationship is one year. A year without distance and without debate. Nothing we make up the reason for the fight. We're happy. We are happy when we are together.

Adith hugged me for how many times. I know he will miss me every time. Naturally, all this time I was the one who always accompanied him as busy as anything. Uh. I asked for more patience, Lord.

'Take care of yourself, Sa. I'll be missing you every second. I miss you, I'll miss you. Don't worry, I won't make you sad and cry. I'll be back soon, and marry you. Don't worry, Hun.' Adith clasped my hand tightly and held it until it touched her chest.

'Reassure me that you won't disappoint me, Dit. Make me believe that you won't be fussy with other women, even with your exes. I'm waiting for you for two years. Always pray for our relationship. I love you.' I cried in Adith's arms. The smell of vanilla is really inherent in my body. I will not forget this smell, however.

Adith flew to Tokyo.

See you, honey.

—

'Dr. Sesa Paramitha' called a nurse in the information section of a clinic where I work.

'What's up, sister?'

'There was a call from Dr. Adith'

I smiled, and immediately I answered from the phone.

'Hello doctor's mother, how are you?' adith's voice sounded heavier.

'Hello! You sick? I'm doing fine. Why not call my phone anyway?' grunting.

'I no longer wear a cell phone, I'm less fit, so I reduce the hearing from the speaker phone. You're doing all right? Work too, right?'

'You're bringel! How many times have I told you to keep eating and reduce cold drinks, he said you are a doctor but you are sick yourself. Patients need you more! Yes, yes, yes, the doctor's job is like this. I just checked the patient's contents.'

'Ready doctor ma'am! Ok then, happy working my endless love.' Adith turned off the phone. There is a sense of happiness that shakes. I missed you, Dit.

This afternoon the clinic looked quiet, did the pregnant mothers not feel the vibrations in her stomach?

For a moment my eyes were fixed on the frames on my desk. Yes, the man always smiles at me at any time. And set my eyes on the largest frame hanging on the wall behind my body. Uh. Adith is a man of dreams. My face and Adith's face in the photo are really happy. I remember, we were in Bali at the time. Year-end holidays at the time of our anniversary year relationship.

When do you come home, Dit? I snorted patiently.

—

For the first time we fought. There's no communication between me and Adith. This is entering the third day we do not greet via mobile phone. What the hell is going on?

I assume this is all Adith's busyness that never had time to tell me, not even a single message that he replied to. I try to take it lightly. Things are going to end, I believe that.

I continued my work. My concentration is crumbling, there is something else I think about other than the patient who is entering the 8th year of pregnancy. I'm really tired. I decided to close the clinic and go home. I'm sure I'll find peace there even if Adith's whereabouts don't exist.

From: Sesa

To: Adith

Adiths. You where? Reply message. I missed you, baby.

Quickly I clicked the send button and I sighed. May Adith repay me, at least she remembers that this is our anniversary date. Exactly one and a half years old. And we stay at a distance. I stared blankly at the room sky, waiting for the message to fall asleep.

To: Adith

To: Sesa

Good night baby, sorry my busy life worries you. I missed you too. By the way, I love you so much. Happy one and a half years, my future wife!

I woke up and saw a message from Adith. Thank goodness, legaku. I know, Adith won't forget.

—

I don't know why, our relationship isn't as good as it used to be. We started to argue often that is not important and make both of them upset. I broke the cry in longing and Adith preferred silence. He could never answer my question.

'When back? It's been two years. Where did you not come home with me?' I was hard on Adith. Adith could never answer. I choose to be patient.

Day by day it continues. Adith can't explain it either. Or vice versa, or how, I don't understand.

'Dit! You can't keep hanging on to our relationship that has entered two years. You've been in Tokyo for two years, haven't come home and you rarely call me. What the hell's going on?'

I heard he took a deep breath.

'Come, Sa' Adith replied. Finally, he answered after months of unanswered questions. Although anxiety and confusion lingered in his mind, I knew exactly how Adith was.

'I can't, Sa. I can't keep doing this.'

'How about it, Dit?' My voice is getting louder. I squeezed my blanket and hoped that I was okay.

I'm getting more insistent.

'Then your ex asked you to disconnect me and go back to him? She again? Want him more?'

My body is getting shaky. Oh my God, is this the time?

'nope.'

'Then? Tokyo Woman?'

Adith jerks. I didn't hear his voice, not even his breath. Adiths. You why?

'Sa!' Adith surprised.

'You're too far for me. Tokyo-Indonesia is so far away! I can't!'

I'm appalled. I closed my eyes, held back my tears and it felt as if this arrogance in my heart was getting bigger. I forgot my status as a woman. No, let me beg this time for the sake of the heart. No, it's about me and Adith more precisely.

I feel this room spinning and everything collapsed no longer how it looks. I felt the signals of defeat approaching me. I can't give up.

'So, just because of that?'

'Yes. Faraway. Faraway. Faraway. Faraway. Very far.' Adith breathed.

'You should know, which man is not tempted to see another woman next to him. I try to be faithful, but the human being is a man needs a real understanding of women.'

'Adith. you.' I came back crying.

Then why if you are far away? Has my attention and understanding been lacking all this time? Is something bad going to happen after this?

Adith returned silent. Or vice versa or how, I know the explanation. He believed that men need women. Did he know that women need the same thing? The dentist is ridiculous. I tried to amuse myself.

'Dit, you should know that I need the same. But I choose to wait in loyalty and be willing to wait until you get home. What did I get after all this time waiting? Just the disappointment and lies I got.'

'Sa..'

'You said you'd marry me after your studies, and you'd be home soon. I trust everything you say that will never disappoint me and make me sad. But in the last three months it's just the crying and disappointment you've been rewarded. Does it hurt less? Then you want more of that?'

'Jesse. I'm sorry.'

Signal disconnected. There's nothing more I can hear. Only the restlessness and the night wind could never replace my state of mini-mala.

I hold you accountable for the love I have for you. But you're not worried at all. I don't know, I'm kind of suing you over this. It's just natural, right?

Faraway. Faraway. And distant. That's all you have in mind. I should have been the one to mess it all up, not you. And distance should not be a problem for couples who believe that loyalty is a reality.

—

It's been six months since my relationship with Adith ended. I hear, Adith's back in Indonesia next month. He had completed his studies and he spent a month on vacation in China. With whom, I do not know and will never know again.

How are you, Dit?

I bowed to the blue sky that would have given my regards to Adith.

I know, Adith misses me too.

—

I watched my entire house. This is the house I just bought with my income from years of being a doctor. Minimalist house with a spacious yard makes this house comfortable and cold.

I'm sitting on the caf' table in the pantry. Hah..if Adith is here with me, surely we are telling you about a healthy lifestyle and good offspring. And sometimes we talk about future plans and our children. Unfortunately, it was only a shadow that was only always a shadow. Without realization. How are you, Adith? I took a sip of my warm cappuccino.

'Yes, there is a greeting from his mother Adith. This afternoon he invited you to eat there.' Mom looked at me and smiled. There is anxiety behind Mom's smile. Yeah, I know that.

I'm nodding. I assume I'll be attending the invitation from the Adith family. I don't know what the plan is, I don't understand. I wish I could meet Adith.

At Adith's house, I met Miss Resni, Adith's mother. There's Nela too, Adith's sister. This house is still like the first time I came here, deserted, there were only the chirping of Adith's pet bird and her father. There are still paintings painted by Adith in the living room. There's still Moly, Nela's always adorable pet cat. I chose to have a conversation with Ms. Resni on the porch of her house.

A black CR-V stopped in front of the house. Down a guy in a blue shirt carrying a briefcase. I took my breath deep. Oh my God, how are you doing now? The man closed the door. And.. AH! Who'sis that?

Adith opened the left car door and I saw high heels in deep blue and white calves. I calmed my mind, and I went back to talking to Ms. Resni. My mind went nowhere. I wanted to go home, but a sense of reluctance approached me.

'If I'm bad, I'll get out of here. This is my tribute to Ms. Resni, you let me down, Dit.' My anger in my heart.

'Adith, you've arrived, son.' Miss Resni hugged Adith. Adith kissed his mother's hand. The woman next to him looked graceful with her smile.

'I think this woman is classy and socialite once.' Thought hard. I put a fake smile in front of the two.

'Eh, Ses. How are you?'

'Good'

'Ma, menatin. It's Rana.'

'Rana' He smiled in front of Ms. Resni. Vice versa.

My heart ached even more when I saw Adith let Rana in, with her arms around her waist. Be ill.

My appetite is gone. My head's circling. My feet are hard to move. I felt my low point return. I found it hard to breathe, plus seeing Adith and Rana's affection at the dinner table.

I chose to go home first on the grounds that there would be families who wanted to come home. Adith drove me to the front door.

'Dit. That's your new boyfriend?'

'Hm. no, Sa. ah yeah' Adith tried to avoid.

'Egypt?' I'm reviewing the smile.

'Ah 'Ah. No. gabe. Sa, you're going home by yourself?'

'Yes. My house has moved.'

'Sa. I'm sorry.' Adith tried to grab my hand.

'Make what?'

'Everything.'

'Come on, forget it. Are you and Rana also LDR?'

'Hm.. Yes, Sa.'

'Oh. You said you couldn't get LDR? Then what is this? It is true, not only the distance that separates us yes, but also the heart that never loves with sincerity and impatience that you have. Be happy.' I stepped towards my car. My roar was heard by Adith but he did not budge in the least.

Yes, that's love. There's a lie in it. I chose to leave, even I had to forget. What is the point of loyalty? If betrayed by lies. It feels classic, decided on lovers just because of the distance and it turns out there is a game behind it.

I've been hurt so many times, and then how many painful events have I been?

I never believed that love was the eternal thing that a human pair had. Love is ridiculous. Love should be lived patiently and sincerely.

From then on, I tried not to trust my feelings so much. I don't even want to say love. There's nothing more I can trust. I took a deep breath, then exhaled it into the air in a matter of seconds.

I feel numb. There is no more feeling of love that I have for now. I don't know when I can bring my situation back. It all hurts, Adith, Rana, Jakarta, Tokyo, even everything.

I punched the gas pedal. I wish I could get out of here. Out of Adith's life.