Short Story (Cerpen)

Cry for Love (Part 1)

Category: Sad Love Story

Title: Cry For Love (Part 1)

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'Do you understand love when I want it to come to fill the empty space of my heart? Did he know when I missed him so much to accompany me in the agonizing silence? Did he understand when I called his name to be able to feel that I wanted to talk to him?

Does it hurt when I can't understand what I'm thinking? Does he hurt when he can't read my mind? Does it hurt when I can't understand what I want? Does he hurt when he doesn't know I miss him?'

I sat there staring at the blue book in my hand. I closed it violently. Then I raised my hand to cover my face while occasionally sobbing.

I felt how hurt my heart was to love without being loved by her. How fun to admire yourself without ever being reciprocated by it. And engrossed in my own mind filled with false hopes that could easily hit me. It broke me in one gust. It brought me to the world of my downfall.

If only I could avoid you being present in my life. If only I could have prevented the taste you brought and infiltrated my heart. If only I hadn't fallen asleep in the crib of your charm that intoxicates me and couldn't have woken up from the realm of my dreams that so deceived me. If only I hadn't obeyed my heart that gave me a million thoughts about you that I wouldn't have.

I still sob in my pain that is so bitter and will not be able to be treated even a thousand times I have filled. I still feel that pain that makes me smell in every fantasy that makes me soar.

I lowered my hand and looked back as a hand touched my shoulder and squeezed it.

'The crisp flat voice I heard in my ears made me even more painful.

I saw him sitting quietly beside me. There is a charm of him that amazes me and can not resist the charm. There is a radiance that can make me magnetized into a lot of wishful thinking that continues to cover me.

'How are you doing?' she asked by looking at me and looking at me.

'Bad! Very bad! And you know, that it all happened because of you!' My inner.

'okay. Very well.'

I cursed myself. Why are those words coming out of my mouth! I'm too cowardly to say it. I was too afraid to accept the fact that I shouldn't say it.

'Good then. That's what I expected.' he said in his cold tone.

'No! This is not good! This is bad! Very bad! Why do you still blind your eyes to look into my heart? Why do you still cover your ears to hear the screams of my heart that keep calling your name? Why do you still turn away from me when you know that I am here, right in front of you.'

'I'm going to London to continue my studies. Mom and dad agreed to my decision.'

'Don't! Don't leave! Don't leave me with this painful feeling! Please, just look at me this once.'

'What time are you leaving?'

'Hour eight.'

The next moment was only silence that enveloped both of us. We are busy with our own thoughts. Throwing away the foresight, the twilight where the sun sets into the night. There was not a single word I put out to calm my heart. I didn't even dare to forbid him to leave.

The night grew quieter in the wounded heart. Solitude becomes an endless regret. Until the next nights that are present, give no more meaning. Just a regular night that never stars. A dark night not illuminated by the full moon. The thick nights in the heart blackened from the wounds that had scratched him.

—

This is where I stand. In a waiting that never has an end. In a time I can no longer remember when I started waiting for him. In loyalty that demands dismissal from tiredness. In anxious feelings thinking about whether he would quickly return to me, returning in his ever-loyal love to love him tirelessly and intending to turn away from him.

I see a smile that I've missed for the last four years. A smile that I could only see through my dreams. A smile that has never changed since I knew her. A smile that still exuded her charm that easily made me drunk in her love.

I saw his right hand raised upwards, he waved at me on the sidelines of the crowd of people at the airport. His left hand held his backpack firmly. He ran small to where I was. He greeted my body and took her into his arms. Gently caress my head.

'I miss you, ' he said with his laughter still sounding crisp as before. 'I miss home. And what I miss the most and want to see first is you.'

For a moment I felt a soft sigh creeping through my body. Makes my body stiff temporarily. It was as if I had gotten out of bed wrong that I thought I had woken up from a dream world, but I was actually still asleep in my dreams.

The next moment I felt the real world. I hugged him tightly. To fill the dream world and to welcome the real world that cannot be united with the dream world.

'Welcome back.' I said cheerfully.

'You're still like you used to be. Still beautiful and always amazes me with your face that always shines. It illuminates my dark heart.'

'And you're still the same as before. Still remains the person I love the most.'

'And I've always loved!'

He pulled back my body and took me into his arms. And now his embrace is getting tighter and warmer.

—

I looked silently at my destruction. There was a great pain when I saw him laughing in a cafe with a girl I knew was in his heart. A drop of tears flowed to form a small river on my cheek. With my mouth locked, I still stared at him with a slick feeling.

Her burly hand that always touched me, now stroked the hair of another girl in front of her. The soothing clear eyes that always looked at me fixedly, now looked mischievously at the girl before him. The crisp smile he always gave me, now he gave it to the other girl in front of him.

I hate seeing all that. I would love to grab the girl's hair for having snatched my heart's lover from my hands. I wanted to drag the girl away from her face. I'd love to do it.

But the other side of my heart is incapable of doing so. The other side of my heart warned me, 'Who am I in his eyes!'

The warm water seeped into the corner of my eye to make both my eyes feel hot. My heart is beating fast. It made my chest feel so much pain that it held a shameless wound that it slipped into my heart.

'Did he make me cry? Do you realize that he has a wound in my heart? Do you realize he hurt me? Did he realize that he had scratched my heart with his dagger which he had hidden under his shirt?'

'Sorry lady. Can I help you?' I lowered my hands and turned to the origin of the voice. I saw a pair of middle eyes looking at me gently with her compassion. 'Sorry if I was disturbing. But I see that you are sad. May I know why you're crying?'

I looked at him in the hope that he would not interfere in the affairs of others. But it turns out he didn't leave in front of me.

'Well, if you don't want to tell it. Introduce my name, Gio.' he sat on the bench next to me. 'If you want to reduce your burden by telling your heart, I am ready to be a loyal listener.'

I looked at her coldly with my eyes still red and puffy. Wish that man didn't know himself to get out of my sight.

'I'm sorry, I don't need that. I guess I still have a friend I can make my vent.' I stood up reluctantly and picked up the bag and jacket I had placed on the table. And left with a smile engraved on his face while propping up his chin and shaking slowly.

'Any.' The last word I still hear on the sidelines of my departure.

—

I saw a thin drizzle descending from the completely cloudless blue sky by leaning against the glass window while scaling. The point of water that makes the leaves wet on the branches. Create a beautiful rattling sound like a symphony that flows melodiously in the recesses of the heart. Reveal a silent heart of his own no friends.

'Am I like them? Who always gives a smile to the leaves even though it makes it wet? Will I be like those who are longed for when the sun shines on the earth with a hot light? Will I be like them? Who can paint a rainbow in the blue sky after his departure?'

I sighed softly. Trying to throw fatigue in my mind. I leaned my head against the wall and slowly closed my eyes. Trying to feel every sound of drizzling drops falling on the leaves.

Beep it! Beep it! Beep it!

My daydream is spoiled by the sound of my mobile phone shakes. Instantly I went out of the window and grabbed my phone that I had placed on the bed. I saw my mom's name on the screen.

'Hello. Mama?'s mother?'

'Dear. Where are you now? Can you pick up Mama?'

There was the sound of a tired mama and a crowded voice, like in a mall.

'Yes. Where is Mama now?'

'You just come to the mall. Mama is here.'

After speaking, Mama hurriedly turned off her phone connection. Sometimes I sigh. Not because I didn't want to pick up my mom, but I felt tired that really made me limp to fall.

Seriate…