Short Story (Cerpen)
end of love story (part3)
Category: Love Story
Title: End of Love Story (Part 3)
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Almost a week passed, it did not feel like it was 2 weeks off and had to go to work again. At that time Deniz said that he would move tasks to other locations and had not 1 location with me anymore. When I heard 2 things that occurred to one side I did not want him to move, he did. I asked him spontaneously and the answer was not. But yes, the name is also a work task to be undertaken. The other side I immediately thought, yes this is a signal for our relationship. Signs with distance will be easier to part well.
I boarded the location Wednesday morning, before going up we must have made a meeting first. Go out and eat together. Almost a week after the last meeting on the beach. We also meet somewhere, then we walk together. He requests us Romantic Lunch at the top Resto, really cool place. So remember the first time I took him there. He was shocked and fascinated by the place and the view. No, the location is really on the top. The concept is Baliness there is a pool in the middle and floors with comfortable lodging and that makes memorable view of the ocean and our city. It's the second time to that place and it might as well be the last time for both of us.
Maybe a few days or even a few weeks before I had felt something, my feeling was that she was going to end this relationship. Just feeling, we’ll see I feel so because it looks from the gandagatnya but who likes to make me not believe, his attitude and behavior still shows that he enjoys this relationship. My feelings are playing again.
“I ordered Vietnamese Beef yes with Avocado Juice plus mineral water” he told the waiter of the restaurant.
“Loh I also want to order Beef Vietnam also loh,” directly in samber his servant.
“Yes have been Vietnamese beef?”
“Wah not ah mbak not exciting if the menu is the same. I ordered another one.” We often have the same answers or desires and thoughts. It feels exciting if again chatting, chatting or sms-an sehati and sepikir.
Not too long the order came, look delicious and exactly it feels really delicious to the point that compliments were thrown impressed.
“Eat first yuk Welcome,” do not need to linger to answer it.
“Iya laper too. Welcome to eat too.”
While enjoying the dish interspersed with small talk. The portions are large, with great difficulty spending it. Yeah used to appreciate food, baby throw food away. Moreover, the food is delicious and expensive anyway. The place is very comfortable, we arrange the pillow for the backrest so that it is comfortable to cuddle. My heart felt the difference this afternoon. His embrace was different from the hug I used to feel. This afternoon, he floated the kiss of his lips that are usually done when meeting. She just kissed my forehead and gently stroked my hair, she rubbed lovingly my cheek. Although I know differently I don't want my feelings to actually happen.
“Kak, actually I brought brother here something I want to convey to brother. I've decided that our relationship can't continue. I can't stand the feeling of always being haunted by guilt and discomfort. Like you said, I started me too. And I think this is the right time.”
It was like being struck by lightning in broad daylight. Speechless does not know what to do, can only take a deep breath and throw it away. Trying hard and strong. A lot I want to express as my anger when I hear it. But I hold back, I try to be mature and accept it.
“That's yes? Okay if it's your decision. I accept it. I've felt how some days even the last weeks you are different and I've felt also just do not expect you to say that. Yes as you said, sooner or later it will end.”
After saying it quietly a thousand languages I turned my face to look at the ocean far away. I thought I wanted to run into that sea and throw myself into that ocean. It was really like being struck by lightning, this heart was as poignant as being sliced through a kitchen knife slashing into flesh. That's my feeling. She kept hugging me, waiting for me to say something but it was too difficult for me, she whispered in my ear.
“kak, I am sorry for falling in love with my sister and having an improper relationship. I followed my heart and feelings too much to my sister but I didn't want to hurt my sister and ruin my relationship with someone. I'm sorry ya ka, sorry I”
I can only speak a thousand languages, so many questions in my heart but 1 that I do not accept the omaungannya, why should say sorry words to me. Have you been in this relationship unconsciously? From the beginning you knew I already had a partner but why did you keep going in until we both fell in love? I know we're both wrong, but all this time we've been looking after each other, we didn't have a relationship that we shouldn't, we've been keeping it all together. Okay we are double, but why should say regretful words.
I know everyone knows, regret always comes too late. But that's not the point when we do something consciously admit it honestly if we enjoy it even though it's wrong. Keep that regret that you do not need to express to your partner. If you say it, everything will turn around at times. No right? Just keep it in your heart and if you are sorry change this relationship for the better. My tears were unbearable my tears were heard by him, and still in his arms, he was crying even though I could not look at his face because I could not bear it. Whispers eared.
“Sister, you are the best brother has been a part of life I will always love you until anytime in my own way. This is the best for us, brother, I do not want us to be too deep in heart because it will hurt more later kak”
I hugged his body tightly, tears kept flowing without a word said from these lips, dazed in my heart, if I cut off my relationship with the others whether we can unite. Are you going to fight for this feeling? Or do you not have the courage and strength to defend it? Again I ask in my little heart it may not be appropriate or I should ask him. I don't know.
The atmosphere changed when another guest booked a place in the cottage next to us. It's not funny that we cry when we see someone else. Comfort each other. For me this conversation is not over, why should it be cut off by someone else. How else do I think. As if nothing had happened, we moved. In the car we were talking again, I knew he told this story it was just to make me smile. I heard but not consent and although seen listening but ringing every word spoken at the top restaurant earlier. I kept daydreaming while driving the vehicle. We were on the beach in the middle of town. It's the first time we've both been there. We used to take pictures on the beach I went straight to the top, climbed on the reef and looked at the open ocean.
Once again he embraced me and I returned to embrace him and embrace him. Although there is no friendly kiss, only a kiss of affection on the forehead. I want to jump into that sea. Like a new ABG cut off in love. Laughter is amused in its own heart and smile, despite its poignant taste. But that's love. Love is beautiful sometimes painful.
Plans today in addition to romantic lunch, watch in XXI. I want to and do not realize, should really watch. So complete, starting from the cinema the first time he grabs my hand and knows that MH - playing heart - should end up in the cinema as well. A little laugh entertained me. I prefer the beach.
“It's late afternoon, go home yuk.” Either me or he's the one taking me home.
“Ku take to where you parked the motor y” connect me.
At every car stop whether on the beach, where to eat, or parking we must talk first as if we do not want to move. Or it's just my feeling, but his mind isn't. More for trying to understand my feelings so I follow my wishes. Stupid ah. After this, we do not know if we can still walk together or not.
Until I took a shower and changed clothes. I lie down and my daydream leads to today's meeting. The pain, the sadness, the lack of acceptance, the annoyance all become one thinking about how I live my days ahead. Who is accustomed to the phone, sms, whatsapp, chat and the road together. Usually at the location there are those who accompany me to dinner, just a short walk but tomorrow and so on I do not get anymore. Besides he has been transferred to another location our relationship will change. I feel like there's still something stuck in my heart I don't know what it is. A message I sent to his phone.
I write. “I'm sorry I got too carried away by emotions. Yes you are right, I just need time to really be able to accept this all. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. I will always love you whenever. If you can still call you that name or dear Oya, 1 more.. Can I still request the road again? It won't be long Thanks” the answer is very short.
“Sure, when?” I reply quickly.
“What's wrong? Because Wednesday I am on duty again.”
“Oke brother, tomorrow I want to go to the port take delivery from across, later we will notify ya” sahutnya sms.
Today we are promised to meet again. To be honest I want to make sure if the decision has been unanimous, is it not negotiable. It's not me if I don't try something until I get clarity. To be honest, I want to get a kiss and kiss from her one last time. I know our meeting was not the last meeting of our lives because tomorrow and beyond we still want to be friends, best friends.
This morning I deliberately went out to the Hospital first for control because the mumpung is still off and before on again. I set my time so that that day all my business is in order, be it my business in the hospital, in the church especially meet him. I want to spend all day alone with him but it is impossible because of the pile of business that I have to finish when tomorrow I have to go to work again.
We met in the parking lot, he parked his bike and got into my car.
“We find out to eat first ya”
That's what he said because he did not eat at the restaurant we had been to. It's just that it's a long way away and it takes time if you have to go there. So we decided to eat nearby. Incidentally there is a new shop area that seems to be a lot of restaurants. We also hunt, which is the place. If you say people are looking for places to eat just see if the place is a lot of people means the food is good. If it is quiet, it will not sell because it is not good. After a few times trying it sometimes there is a point too. But Deniz is the type of guy who prefers a quiet and quiet place in the sense of not being in the crowd. Yes in addition to enjoying the dish can enjoy togetherness also calmly.
“So brother? We unplug the sentence yuk” after eating and taking a little break.
“Oke yuk we road.”
“Where are we going?” ask her.
“Whatever brother wants to go where. Kan brother who ngajak out.”
Hemmmm, yes, I am also the one who fidgets but where to go while looking for a fun place to chat. Without telling me where we're going, we just chat in the car and until he knows where my car is headed. Yes, yes, yes once again to the top of the first place we play.
I parked my car in the shade, staring at the ocean and the sunny weather out there we chatted. He asked why he wanted to meet. I am confused as to what to answer. The time I said it was like my wish, if I just wanted to feel a farewell kiss and a friendly hug from her. I was just curious and ascertained his true feelings this time after he decided on me. I didn't think it was the happy farewell I had but a painful breakup. Wanna tell him.
“why jaim so much? Have you really fixed your decision?” With complete calm he replied “Yes, my decision is clear. Can't be changed and I don't want us to make the mistake again by letting this feeling continue.”
Sad and upset with this feeling of heart, my crying was inevitable I could only cry and cry until my sobs made me feel tight to breathe. Yes, he hugged me but a cold hug seemed to indicate that his heart was neutral to me. There is no hope of enjoying this love. A deeply possessed shame, a cry I cannot stop. He tried to calm me down but still he did nothing, not what I expected. We just kept quiet as if there were no more words from him for me. With annoyance, shame and sadness I started my car and drove back to drive it home. Before I go home I have another appointment with 1 other doctor. I asked him to accompany me.
“Meet me to the doctor first yes, not long anyway.if you do not want to go down ya wait in the car only. Or do you want to park under the parking area does not need to be in the hospital parking area? How?”
“Do not want me brother, take me take my motor just keep me straight home.”
“So sister wants to go to the hospital now? Then I get off here let me take an angkot alone.”
“ya my time mepet, the time is too late ntar his doctor hunted home if I take you.”
I hope he understands and doesn't force himself to go home as if I ignore him and don't appreciate him. I was wondering why I don't understand, what's wrong with taking a moment.
“ya already if brother wants to go up now I go home alone.”
With a face full of annoyance, he got out of my car and Prak!! A very loud door blow I got. I want to open the door and scream, “hey about dong. don't mess with that door!” what's in it for me will actually worsen the atmosphere especially around there are many people who are hanging out. I also have to take care of his feelings. This is not what I want, I just want a memorable farewell but it is even more painful.
I sent a short message while driving.
“You angry? But there's no need to slam the door for me. Thanks.” I wait for the ballast not to come in. When I got home my heart didn't calm down if he hadn't answered my text, yes at least say something for me. Don't make me feel guilty when I'm annoyed with his rude attitude and words that are very offensive to women. Still no response, I send whatsapp not in response. Drooping this limp in my deep mind over the incident I just experienced.
Yes, if it ends up like this, maybe deliberately so that I hurt so that I will more easily forget my feelings for him. That's also if he remembers my words first yes when the verdict was first when he said, yes,
“delete my phone number, delete smsku, delete from WA and Line list, delete from list chating, delete me from your memory kak.” I said at the time.
“your phone number I removed from where as well, I've memorized it out of my head. Okay if no longer online can not chat, but if again online would be innannya want say heloo. Where might forget, we are 1 location with the same schedule and sometimes if off was accidentally met on the road. Only 1 way to quickly forget you. Make me angry or humiliate me so that I hurt.”
Okay, tomorrow I have to go up the location. I'll get used to not thinking about it and expecting it. I think it's enough to get here that I have to accept.
Today I was running with no zeal, my face pale tired and not passionate about work. The wonder why he didn't text me still haunts my mind. Did he forget me so quickly? I let my body and my feelings get washed away even though I wish tomorrow I had to be excited. Well tomorrow he's on duty, what will happen huh? Indeed, there were only 4 days left for him at this location before he left to prepare for a new location. This afternoon I was not busy even from yesterday came also no meaningful work. I better write it by email, it's up to him to respond to what about my curses at least I deliver them. Accept it or not it's up to you.
My email read my apology and thanks for him, I also wrote a little history of our love journey. Places and dates that will be memory to remember. May that be my hope. I was worried whether the email I sent would be responded to or not. What matters is sent.
How many hours passed suddenly he chatted and said, “Kak, later tonight I call ya.”
Upssss was shocked to read it too. Hemmm, another question arises that thrill him want to call would you say what? If it makes me sad do not need to call, but if make me happy then okay. I ask what time you want to call, “h 8 nights” he replied. How tumben thought to me, he used to call it at night. But he certainly has a reason.
At 19:00 I finished my bath and ate fruit because tonight I ran out on the treadmill and tried to cut down on the rice portion by not eating dinner. Duh, so call him? Right at 8 o'clock, right? What do you want to talk about, huh? Deg-deg-deg heart racing. Hope to be anxious, because it has not heard his voice for 2 days. Before 8 I called the others first and there was a call coming in exactly as promised, I immediately ended the call so I could receive the call.
“Halo good night kak” sounds stiff. Ku sahut's.
“Halo, malem also.” I started the conversation by asking.
“New on duty yes today?”
“iya new today. Brother how are you? How is today working?” frequently asked questions about work.
“hmm, usually not too busy kok.” The stiff start of the conversation called tonight.
“oya brother, want to discuss yesterday's problem no?” with her soft voice made me feel beautiful.
“ya whatever, if you want to talk yes monggo.”
He explained his attitude that he deliberately did not answer my text message not because he was still angry. Yes, I was angry, but I forgave me, just wanted to make me realize that I could appreciate it. He also explained at length about our relationship. Then he asked, “kak, anyone want to talk?”
My heart was sad again and crying in my heart finally I ventured to express my feelings if I did not like it like this, I was not ready to lose him. I was not ready after he moved the location we will not or rarely meet. I told you I don't want it now. He explained what he felt, logic and heart contradict each other and there was an inner war in his heart and mind. Yes, I know it's natural because I experienced it too. Our logic knows that this cannot continue but our hearts are hard to get away from.
“Kak, I want to neutralize the heart first. I'd like to temporarily keep us from communicating first. No call, no text, no chat and not meet first. That's all I do to neutralize the heart. After that we will open a new page as friends and sisters who pure sincerely love each other. I'm afraid that if we continue to communicate, I can't neutralize my heart and continue to fall in love with my brother. I hope you understand yes, what do you think brother?”
“Iya I can understand your reasons, but why now anyway? Why not later?”
“kakakkak remember when we last road to the beach, when brother asked until when we like this I answered I don't know and brother replied don't know also until when” He tried to repeat it.
“She I remember but actually I have the answer, I know I want until when.” Quickly connect.
“continue why brother did not say, he said open and all communicated. Why didn't you say?. But everything has passed and my decision has been round.” Sounds strong but not convincing. I also regretted and felt stupid why it felt like my mouth was locked and could not express it.
“ya already if so later, not now. Do you know when I want to be?” again, he stayed with his decision.
“Can't do it, I've decided this is the best time for us.” Just this time I couldn't shake what had been his decision. We were better and closer again.
He asked me to agree not to communicate for a while to return to neutrality. We also agreed in the next 10 days not to contact each other. Hufft. I can't force him and I have to respect his decision as well. I thought it was over, this love story has ended.
Deniz, I can't lie about how I feel if I'm sick and sad to end up like this. In the moment when I feel comfortable, you are caring and love me in your way. Have a friend and sister to share a sad and happy story. It was only prayer that I prayed that I could go through my days with a smile, a joke and a laugh without you near me again. I want to always look cheerful even if my heart is hurt.
I will be missing you
Every maumen with you
Lunch, dinner and walking around town
I will be miss you and will not forget every instrument we do and share each other
Thank you for loving me, thank you for your attention and carrying me until now.
I really appreciated and impressed of everything about you.
Thanks for making me happy every time we meet
Thanks for making me smile on my sadness
Thanks for everything you've done to me and for my life
Bye my love
I wish you all the best and pray for your success and happiness in your new working place.
Don't forget me, keep in touch and don't leave me alone on my walk in future
The End of Love Story
