Short Story (Cerpen)

The Chronicles Of Daster

Category: Funny Short story Humor

Title: The Chronicles Of Daster

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According to the news of birds (please choose your own bird which, just adjust to the interests and sex of each) circulating, there are two versions about the origin of the creation of negligee.

FIRST VERSION

Once upon a time, it is said, long ago in a kingdom in the middle of nowhere. There was a king who had a concubine who was five times the number of all the fingers he had (do not bother counting, like he did not have a job.). As a good and righteous king and obedient to both parents, the king is required to set an example of what is the ability and justice to be used as a guide for his people. The king must be able to do his fair share on all his subjects, especially on all his concubines. If only for the fulfillment of the needs of clothing, food and boards. The king need not worry, there is a ministry of transmigration who takes care of it.loh, kok…

But to meet the spiritual needs of all concubines who to mention his name only the king had to ask the help of the royal secretary to open the notebook 'outlines of the list of names of concubines', the king was very overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed in terms of ways and techniques of the game, but how to manage the division of short time duration but solid, and equally. The king is required to be able to divide the time between the task of managing the state and the noble task of fulfilling the honors. Overnight he had to serve at least 7 concubines. Each concubine had 15 minutes for one acrobatics. This short period of time should be used as much as possible. Forget foreplay, flirting or just breathing, this will narrow the time. Do it quickly, sparingly and purposefully so that noble goals are achieved. But unfortunately, so far the main obstacle of the fulfillment of the king's wishes is the clothes worn by the concubine herself. To undress only starting from the release of the long naudzubillah stagen before finally removing the others.., concubine takes about 5 to 7 minutes, just imagine how to 'do it' with the remaining time limit, cook once dipping directly (shadownya not while bristling, pamali.), this makes the king very uncomfortable.

On the advice of the palace's advisors, the king finally made a contest aimed at all the royal residents. Anyone who can find, create and demonstrate a simple, lightweight and comfortable clothing model, which to release only takes a minute. Then will get trophies, medals and land rewards covering an area of five hectares complete with cows, buffalo and grass from the king. Long story short, one of the residents managed to find a model of clothing that the king wanted, which was later recognized as the forerunner of the birth of negligee clothes.

SECOND VERSION

When the Renaissance era hit Europe, the poor women of Malay in Indonesia, was no longer able to wear decent costumes such as kebaya encim, cloth and konde (what does the Renaissance have to do with konde malay women??… Auk ah dark..). supposedly when imperialism and colonialism colonized the realm of earth, the great-grandfather of his great-grandmother we are only able to make and wear one model of clothing only. It was all the result of endless oppression. The model of the clothes they wear represents three things that will take place at that time:

Poverty: because the clothing material is generally made of burlap sacks.

Stupidity: no need for a great designer to make it, the fool of the most

foolpun can, because it only needs to perforate the top for the neck, the two left and right sides, and the bottom is left open.

Suppression: the clothing material often causes problems for the wearer, because it gives space to all kinds of skin diseases, ranging from irritation, pain, lizards, ringworm, even ulcers because most are scratched. While the ruler at that time did not provide health facilities for the natives, illegal law for poor natives to get cheap health services especially free (like until now.ups). they are all real forms of oppression.

If so, based on the review of the three heartbreaking aspects above..then why until now ..millennium time.the model of clothing that later we know as the negligee, it still exists, it still exists, growing and even becoming a trend among women in general and housewives in particular. Investigators have a search, not because of the comfort they seek, but the value of history and memories behind it. It became a kind of rendevouze that raked blue, about how heartbreaking it was. And gradually the memories become a beautiful flashback, which will be told to posterity.

NOTE: the first and second versions cannot be accounted for the truth, all submitted to the reader. May believe is advised not, because absolutely ngawur.

The largest user of negligee in the world is in Indonesia, this is a pride of its own friends. Have you ever seen Angelina jolie in action slumping, rolling, jumping with automatic weapons in hand, wearing negligee?? Impossible''or have you ever known Coco Chanel, the world's leading designer, jibbed with a meter and a pentule needle to cut out the negligent pattern??? It is very unlikely'.although there is a bule wearing negligee, I suspect the negligee was imported directly from Indonesia. But I'm sure, artists of the caliber of judge Christine, Jajang C Noor or Dian sastro, at least once in his life have ever worn a negligee. Daster is a type of clothing model that does not have caste, does not know age and position. Fans ranging from teenagers to elderly grandmothers, ranging from washing workers to celebrities. And all only in Indonesia, I am personally proud of this.

WHY ARE DASTER FANS 99% (of which 1% are self-guessable) WOMEN???

The question above is frankly disturbing, very disturbing, to make my sleep is not good, eat me not greedy'.alahh lebai'hi'. I'm sure the main reason is because negligee is synonymous with women. The adam will not risk his masculinity reputation to make his dignity and dignity as a mighty creature, just because of wearing a negligee. For most men, women's clothing is a disgrace and haram to wear. But'.do they know, if there is a lot of historical evidence that records that not a few great and big male figures first, ever and do not hesitate to wear women's clothes. Look at Hector and Achilles in the epic battle of 'Troya', they freely fought, wrestled and wrestled wearing skirts. Or look at Leonidas and the Spartan knights in '300', William Wallace the mighty sharp-eyed man in 'Breaveheart' played by Mel Gibson, Julius Caesar with a knee-length white longdress in the film of the same name, even Hercules the 'power' icon of Greece, in one of his episodes 'Hercules and the Amazon Women' also wear skirts. The big characters still look manly, masculine, and really gitcu men.'in the dress of women.

What's with the men today??? In the name of emancipation, equality, 'equality' said ustad Zainudin M.Z, they should not hesitate to use negligence'.hi'..

ADAB WEARING A DASTER

Okay, forget about the absence of gender equality in terms of wearing negligee. Now let's focus on discussing the more important topic, namely, ordinance and adab wearing a negligee. The results that I got from years of survey and observation, by exerting all the abilities of the soul and body. Wearing clothes is not just wearing it, but there is science and art, there are even taboo restrictions that are done if it concerns the life of many people. Asian women still hold the eastern custom firmly, so politeness or politeness cannot be separated from daily life, especially when it comes to dress. Although it is undeniable, lately politeness began to be eroded and crushed by iron wheels called 'modernization' so that its existence is no longer easy to find in this beloved country. However, women as the pillar of religion, the focus of the State and the main development of the banner of breeding glory, are required to remain steadfast in maintaining the eastern customs as strongly as possible, life or death.'.merdekaaa'.ups'hadeehhhh.

Back to the matter of negligee deh'. wearing a negligent must not be haphazard, the type and model must be adapted to the situation and conditions. There are things to watch out for and avoid. Do not let because of negligence, your social relationships become disaster. Here is the coverage:

For you housewives, wear a negligee as necessary, at once and at certain times only. Do not try to wear a negligee ranging from roosters crowing until crowing again the next day, especially with the same negligee. I'm sure, Haqul yaqin'.don't your husband, the chicken jagopun will be reluctant to crow again (bojone mosok dipadakne pithik rek'.hi').

Watch how you sit when wearing a negligee. You know, the type of women's clothing that has a large hole in the bottom, has special standards in terms of its handling. Because this is closely related to the contents of the aurat the owner. At least you bend the wrong position of your feet when sitting, then no magnifying glass or 3 D glasses are needed to know the contents or color of your daleman. Therefore, beware'.watch out'.

Do not wear a thin and transparent negligee if you plan to: shop for vegetables in the front hall, take your pet for a walk around the complex, gossip at the neighbor's house (you can be the main topic), etc, or just throw garbage in front of the house when in the house of the next neighbor the study of the complex fathers takes place'.can be confused with the fog of his father. Remember, one important thing that needs to be underscored that'.the thinner and more transparent negligee you wear in the wrong place, the more, then the greater your contribution to the sharpness of the crime graph in your environment (kasian pak polis, already pay ga how much, bother ga ketulungan).

Make sure you are not in the wrong place when drying your negligee. Do not let you hang a negligee in the clothesline area next door neighbor, let alone forget to lift it, even more tragic if your neighbor is a childless flower widow. This action is vulnerable to the occurrence of 'trustworthy' both intentional and unintentional. If that happens, there are only two worst possibilities that you will receive, namely'.mis-understanding and missed call......loh, why missed call???. Let me explain, but I'm sorry it's a little bit of a mature story, only if you're highly-scientific can read it. But for those of you who are to wear pants alone are not able to, it is strictly forbidden to read it.

If you're wrong wearing a neighbor's negligee next door, and your husband knows it. So beware, because this can interfere with the stability of the security of your household relationship with your husband (yes yes'.cook with the neighbor's husband'). When you wear it as an opening costume when you want to 'so' with your husband. The most feared thing is, the little imagination in your husband's brain is wrestling with the next-door neighbor, not with you. So make no mistake, if then there is a suspicious missed call behind you in the future. Not a scare, just a little warning so you are more alert to the small imagination that is in your husband's brain.

Wear a decent negligee, though not new but at least appropriate to wear. Do not often wear a bulukan negligee, which is no longer distinguishable fabric color yellow or white, red or pink. Even worse if it makes it difficult for you to identify which holes for the head and hands, because both holes in the armpit are equally large. Take care of your husband's reputation, as most people (including me) often judge someone by his clothes.