Mentari in the Night Sky

The Past: A Father for His Daughter

When was the last time I spent the 24 hours I had for my mom?

I can't answer the question that's been filling my days for a week. In my memory, I always spent time alone with my mother until I was 4 years old because after that I prefer to spend time with both my brother or Ken. During this one week I was astonished by all the time I had passed, how could I only spend my time for others and not for the woman who risked her life for me?

For one week I spent my time with my mother. Shopping, watching movies, cooking, telling stories, taking a walk in the park, or just daydreaming, I did it all with my mom. I never thought the time I spent with my mother could be a healer for me because all this time I'd rather give time to myself. I regret never trying to spend more time with my mom when I really needed a healer.

I've been at Grandpa Phillip's house for a week. After Ken and his father came home, my mother suddenly invited me to go to Wales. Mother also said that she had obtained permission from father, a permit that I thought was only for 2-3 days. Mom just invited me and strangely my two brothers did not whine or ask why, even Arthur who was usually angry when not invited to go helped me pack. I had thought that my two brothers were trying to keep me away from their plans but seeing how the mother who always laughed happily and was not filled with worry made me throw away those thoughts.

"Does Zeta want to accompany Grandpa on a walk?" grandfather's question made me lift my face which had focused on the food on the plate.

"Sure?" I replied in a questioning tone, making my grandfather and grandmother laugh.

Compared to my two older brothers, I am indeed the most awkward with the other big family members. I was more able to express myself when I was in the nuclear family than when I was in the extended family environment. I always felt like I could keep my attitude every time I was with the other big families. If I make one mistake, my parents' reputations can be ruined for not being able to properly educate me.

"Grandfather will be waiting for you at the riding place."

"But Zeta can't ride a horse" I replied spontaneously in a tone that really showed how awkward I was.

"Grandfather won't ask you to do what you're not good at" replied Grandfather with a smile that embarrassed me.

As soon as he said that sentence, grandfather immediately walked out of the dining room. I think Grandpa's going straight to the racetrack that's behind this house. I keep eating my breakfast because mom told me to. I think today's food will be the first time my body can't digest it properly this week.

"Go to the riding place, your grandfather has waited a long time there," said the mother as soon as I saw me helping her and the grandmother tidied the dinner table. I put the plate back on the table and walked unhurriedly towards the horse. I can't imagine what kind of atmosphere Grandpa would have with me.

"Grandfather Miss is in the tree house," said the grandfather's bodyguard as soon as I got to the riding place.

"I'm sorry?" ask me to confirm what I just heard.

"Follow me, Miss."

I followed the guard in front of me to a tree on which was a house. If I don't remember wrongly, the tree house where Grandpa is now is the tree house I asked for. When I was 8 years old, I asked for a place for me to hide from the outside world to grandfather. It was the first and last time in my life to ask my grandfather for something. I guess grandfather never thought about and granted my request because for 3 days after I made the request, grandfather did not tell me anything about the tree house even after I returned to London.

Slowly I climbed up the tree, there was a foothold in the tree trunk that helped to get to the tree house safely. Seeing how the condition of this tree house, it seems like grandfather always asked someone to take care of it or it could be every few years once this tree house is replaced with a new tree house. I found my grandfather staring out through the big window as soon as I set foot in this tree house. Now I know where that distant habit of staring down at me came from.

"We have to look at everything as a whole just so we can look at the whole problem objectively" said the grandfather breaking the silence.

"What does Grandpa mean?"

I fell silent, not knowing what to say to grandfather. I decided to keep quiet for a few minutes to accompany grandfather to enjoy the scenery in front before finally walking around looking at the contents of this tree house. There are many photos on display, almost all of them are photos of mine. Photos that show my progress from the first day of my birth to yesterday when I first learned to drive a car.

"First, Grandpa always prioritized your mother because she was Grandpa's son. Grandfather only considered Grandpa's grandchildren as a complement to this family until the time when Grandpa knew what kind of love Grandpa's children get. Once you know all the truth about your parents' marriage, Grandpa always asks your mother to divorce your father. No father in the world would want to see his daughter suffer because for a father no matter what age his daughter is, he will always think of her as a child to be protected from pain. But, do you know what your mother always said?"

"Mother loves father and will hold his wedding vows until death separates them,” reply me after silence for 1 minute because surprised by the transparency explained grandfather.

"Yes, a painful answer for a father trying to stop his son's wounds. Upon hearing the answer your mother gave, Grandfather went straight to the horse riding place and accidentally found this tree house. A treehouse that even Grandpa never knew existed. Grandpa immediately found many photos of yours in this house. The photo that made Grandpa feel like a father again."

"Then, what did Grandpa do afterwards?"

"What Grandpa feels and wants as a father is not something that will make your mother happy. Grandfather will only get rid of the pain your mother has received and add it to the pain of another. What Grandpa thought was best for your mother turned out to be just something that would hurt her further in the future."

"..."

"Grandfather please save your mother, Zeta."

"What does Grandpa mean?"

Slowly Grandpa held both of my hands and tightened his grip. He looked at me with watery eyes, tears that he seemed to have wanted to shed for a long time. Without me noticing, grandfather had already dropped his body onto the floor, making him kneel before me. I immediately knelt down.

"What did Grandpa do? Zeta, please don't do something like this" I said as I tried to get my grandfather back on his feet.

"Grandfather pleads as a father, protect Grandpa's son's smile. That's all, Grandpa wants."

"Just like Grandpa loves you, Zeta loves you too. Zeta knows the love Zeta gives to mom is not as big as the love Grandpa gives but Zeta will protect mom. Zeta will always protect the mother, not just Zeta but Zeta's two sisters. Zeta please wake up, cake."

"Protect her smile."

I just nodded while helping grandfather stand back up.

...-----...