Mentari in the Night Sky

The Past: Brother

"Didn't the two of them really fit?" sina asked while trying to align her footsteps with me.

I caught a glimpse of his face in pain every time he tried to move his legs as wide as I did, it seemed like the heels he was wearing did not match the shape of his feet or he was not used to using heels. I narrowed my footsteps, making it a little less difficult to align her steps. This made him look at me with the gaze of someone caught off guard following me.

"Isn't it uncomfortable to walk using heels?" many finally.

"The two of them weren't just childhood friends. Brother Alvin loves Sister Rachel so much that even her love exceeds the love given to me but a bad thing happened to Sister Rachel and therefore Brother Rachel decided to avoid Kak Alvin for a few years.”

"Your name is Sina, isn't it?"

Sina stopped his footsteps and stared at me. I can clearly read what he thinks and wants from me. I only saw a sense of annoyance emanating from his eyes because I was constantly ignoring the topic. I can't understand a 15-year-old girl who's actually only 3 years away with my age.

"I'll take your silence as 'yes'. I can see all that, everything you just said. The two of them were extremely harmonious and the aura between them was an aura that was difficult for outsiders to enter and damage. And I know that I'm part of that outsider" I said after Sina kept quiet and just looked at me in annoyance.

Sina was stunned to hear my words. He didn't think I'd say anything that supported Alvin's relationship with Rachel. Now I know if he wants me to go away from Alvin's life and let Alvin live together with his childhood love. Without having to be told I would do that too.

"Zeta, are you tired? Want to rest a while?" alvin asked just as Sina was about to open his mouth, making Sina close his mouth again.

"Zeta is fine. What does Brother want to do?"

"Alvin, can we go see the shoes?" rachel asked in a tone that was made as funny as possible while holding Alvin's left arm very tightly. Alvin tries to let go of his hand grip but he is unsuccessful as Rachel keeps trying to cling to Alvin. Alvin gave a look at the face of someone who was depressed and tried to explain that what I was seeing right now was not the same as what I was thinking. He doesn't even know what I'm thinking.

"Zeta also wanted to look around at the shoes," I said, making Rachel stare at me cynically, as if I had just stolen her idea while I was helping her get into the shoe store.

"Well," Alvin replied with Rachel's forced pull into one of the shoe stores, leaving me alone with Sina.

I turned my body to face Sina who was still silently staring while watching me. He was trying to figure out something, whether I knew everything was the same as him or I never really loved Alvin. There's no way I'd show him so clearly if I knew all the truth about the father affair that finally gave birth to Alvin and Sina. To be honest I want to know the reason why he wanted to get me out of Alvin's life. Is it because he knows we can't be together or because he doesn't want me to be the love of Alvin's life?

"You have everything, different from him," Sina shouted making other mall visitors glance at us. My phone also went off as soon as Sina shouted the sentence he said. I immediately searched and found Uncle Stephan who was walking towards us. I gave her a soft belt and the uncle stopped moving his legs.

"with him? Him or you?" I was greeted with a surprised look.

"You know everything" he murmured.

"Know if you're my brother and my brother Alvin?" my reply.

"..."

"I read your health report, not in detail just in outline, and in the report it should be today you have a chemotherapy schedule."

"I" he said, stopping as he raised his face back to look at me.

"I've met your mother too."

"What did my mother say?!" tanyanya surprised.

"Nothing."

"Lied!!!! Mom must have said something bad!” reply with a rising tone.

"Zeta!!!!" call Alvin, once again make some visitors look in our direction. How humiliating. I turned my body around again and this time I found Alvin waving. I signaled to her that I would soon enter the store together with Sina.

"I don't think we can keep standing on the road like this" I said as I walked away from Sina.

"Sister Alvin doesn't know anything yet, don't tell him."

Sina ran slowly over to me just to say that sentence. She even held my hand for a few seconds before she finally let go as soon as I saw her hand touch my arm. She was no longer the arrogant girl she was when she first saw me at daycare. I can see the figure of a 16-year-old in him right now, the real figure is holding back the pain not because of the illness he suffered but because of the fact of his existence in this world.

"I know, I don't want to break more hearts either."

"Don't say things that hurt her when you're going to ask her to stay away from you."

"I know, can we come in now?"

Sina walked right away leaving me as soon as the question came out of my mouth. His footsteps grew heavier, either because of the heels he wore or because his body could not withstand the pain he was enduring. I turned my head to the right and some of the bodyguards had started to watch the surrounding area, it seemed like Uncle Stephan did not trust Sina to decide to call some bodyguards to where I was.

Ting.

I searched for an uncle among several visitors and managed to find him. Uncle used sign language asking if I was okay which I immediately replied with a nod. Uncle nodded as soon as I saw me nod, making me walk straight into the store.

The first sight I saw as soon as I walked into the store was a picture of a happy family. How Alvin treated Rachel was different from when he treated me. She does show that she doesn't like the touch or excessive action Rachel gives her but she still lets Rachel do it without trying to prevent it. She was secretly enjoying what Rachel was doing to him.

"Can I help you, Miss?" ask one of the servants who saw me silent long enough in front of the entrance.

"Does this store also provide greeting cards?"

"We provide greeting cards, Miss. We also provide delivery service for gifts."

"Where are the sports shoes?"

"Follow me, Miss."

I followed the clerk who walked further and further into the shop. A hand flicked my steps, making the previous employee who was walking quite fast in front of me stop. I again met a pair of blue eyes that gave her a warm look for the first time today. The gaze that I could previously see whenever I wanted but for today I actually witnessed the gaze given to another woman.

"Where are you going?"

"Should I come with you? I completely forgot the fact that we were dating today."

"No, I'm fine. I also don't mind Brother Alvin forgetting that today we are dating. I'm happy to see Big Brother can laugh as loosely as he is today because he met his childhood friend Brother.”

“I'm sorry.”

“For what?” reply while clenching hands.

I should have apologized to him for making today's date a farewell. I should've apologized to him for hiding all the truth about him. I should have apologized to him for the pain he would feel in the future. Supposedly, I met him sooner so much time we could spend together before I finally had to part with him due to our impartial destiny.

“I think now Brother should accompany Rachel," I continued as soon as Rachel walked closer to me and Alvin. I don't know how every woman's radar works, though, just because he did not see the face of the man he likes around him can make the women know exactly where the man he likes is.

"You really don't matter, do you?"

I nodded and just as I nodded a hand had pulled Alvin's body back away from me. Sooner or later he and I have to separate, it does not matter whether it is God who separates us through others or one of us who has to separate and only I can do the part to separate voluntarily. And I knew I would prefer to separate myself out of my own will rather than be forced because of the destiny of God that slowly separated us. I know how I would try to blame God's destiny if it wasn't me who made that decision even though I also know that the decision I made is also one of the many possibilities of the destiny God made.

"What size does Miss want?" asked the store clerk after I gave him the brown shoes.

"Can you find out the size of the women's shoes that came with me?"

"Okay, I'll try to find out. Maybe Miss can write down the sentence Miss wants first?"

I nodded and followed the shop clerk back to the cashier table. The employee immediately left me after giving me a greeting card and a pen. I just silently watched the greeting card, not knowing what to write to someone I did not know and to someone who was my sister.

Ting.

This time I will let Uncle get close to me, I am also tired of having to repeatedly search for uncle's whereabouts just to tell him to stay where he is.

"Miss," call Uncle Stephan to surprise me. I didn't expect uncle to be this fast beside me.

"I'm sorry if I'm upsetting Miss."

"No Uncle, Zeta is not focused."

"What are you going to do with those brown shoes?"

"Uncle, can Uncle look ahead for a moment? Zeta will answer Uncle's question after Zeta writes something."

Uncle nodded and followed my words. I picked up the pen I hadn't picked up from the table and started writing a few sentences on the greeting card.

'Wear something comfortable for you. Do not force yourself to look mature when you are still a 16-year-old girl.

The illness you have, the dark story we have, and the sister we both love, I hope those three things are no reason for you to pretend to be strong. Cry, laugh, grieve, rejoice as you please not because of the demands of those three things but because of your life.'

"Miss, these are the shoes that Miss wants. Should I wrap it in wrapping paper?" ask the store clerk while handing out a box containing shoes. I want to know the way this employee did to be able to get Sina's shoe size in this short amount of time, in just 10 minutes after I asked for it.

"No need, leave this box here first" I replied while giving my debit card.

"Good, Miss. Excuse me first."

"Zeta bought it for Sina. Can Zeta ask Uncle for help?" I said as soon as Uncle returned to give a look asking for an explanation to me.

"What does Miss need?"

"After Zeta finishes this date, can Uncle ask one of the bodyguards to give this shoe to Sina?"

"Good."

"Uncle doesn't want to ask why Zeta did this?"

"No. I'm more curious about one thing."

"What's that?" ask me to be curious because just this time uncle said he was curious about something.

"Is Miss fine after seeing the man who previously treated Miss as if Miss was her world turns out she treated other women as well as she treated Miss?"

"They're not other Uncle's."

"Stay still, Miss. There will be limits when a man treats the woman he loves with the woman who is only his childhood friend."

"..."

"Miss?"

"Uncle, Zeta does not regret what Zeta has done including letting the man into Zeta's life. Zeta thinks Zeta will regret it when Zeta doesn't do this. Zeta is already sorry for not being able to meet him sooner than this and Zeta does not want to be even more sorry, Uncle.”

Uncle did not give any reaction to the answer I gave. Uncle only exhaled once and stared at Alvin repeatedly, making sure that Alvin was a trustworthy man. Unfortunately, no matter how much my uncle trusts me to leave Alvin, God already has other wills.

"Uncle, when Brother Will or Brother Arthur tell us the darkest secret of our lives, Zeta wants Uncle not to ask how Zeta feels. Zeta just wants Uncle to stay next to Zeta no matter what. And Zeta hopes Uncle doesn't try to prevent the pain Zeta will feel."

"Good, Miss."

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