Mentari in the Night Sky

The Past: Negotiation

4 Years ago..

“Have you thought what would be your fate if not born in this family?”

What a silly question. I continued reading the novel and let my brother continue his nonsensical rant. I don't know what kind of trouble he's having to make him babble again about being born as part of the Allison family. He had done this many times in previous years which made my first brother argue with him. Fortunately, there is only me and him at the moment, we can be sure he will only babble alone.

Buk.

A pillow landed right on my face, hitting my nose.

“Does our family teach us to ignore the words of others?”

I really hate the owner of this voice. I lifted my face and found my first brother sitting in front of me. I put the novel I was reading on the table. My first brother was completely obedient to the family rules. He's the only heir to the strictness of family rules because inevitably he will be the heir.

I turned my gaze to my second brother who was now sitting properly. My first brother was William Henry Albert Allison and my second brother was Robert Arthur Henry Allison. I always wondered how it was that between the three of us William was the only one who inherited the fatherly trait. Both Arthur and I inherited a mother nature that seemed more free and often against the rules. But somehow I was relieved and grateful, neither I nor Arthur would inherit the Allison Family's company. I can already imagine in just one week the company would be destroyed if led by me and my second brother.

“I ignored it because Brother Arthur spoke nonsense,” I replied.

“What does our family also teach to ignore talk even if it is full of nonsense?”

I closed my eyes. I really hate his lectures on family manners. I turned my face towards Arthur who was now shaking his head. He told me to keep quiet before William would further ask what nonsense talk was going on.

“Ken is coming,” William said after wiping my hair while picking up the pillow he threw at me.

“Really?!” I screamed a little.

“Wah... Your mood is really easy to read,” said Arthur.

“Can I go?”

“Go.”

“Be careful with your smile. Everyone can read it!!” arthur's shout was followed by a pillow throw at him by William.

Ken was my childhood friend. We've always spent time together since we were in the womb. Both of our parents were good friends and certainly had planned about our wedding from before we were born into the world. While still in college, my father and his father made a ridiculous promise to match their children if they were of course different genders. Even though it's set up, Ken and I haven't announced our engagement yet. Dad said he would announce it when we were 18, he thought that was the age where slowly we were able to make the right decision and now we are 18 years old.

I took the hand of my aunt who had always helped me since I was a child. I think the smile on my face is enough to be the answer to a question that has not been thrown by him. Aunty started combing my long hair and braided it gently and affectionately. Ken likes the hair braids. I don't know if he really likes braids or if he likes me braiding hair. I seem to have been overconfident lately.

“What clothes should I wear?” I'm just impatient.

“Nona,” Aunty said in a calm voice.

“Hmmm?” I answered while raising my face towards Aunt who was still braiding my hair.

“Nona likes it a lot, right? Aunt hope Miss will always be happy.”

“Sure, Zeta will be happy.”

...-----...

“Read more what you just said,” William said firmly.

Everyone is silent. The atmosphere that I thought would be filled with happy laughter as usual turned out to be filled with tension. I saw the father who was still casually devouring food. I even lost my taste once Ken said his first sentence. I don't know if you're on my side right now or on Ken's side.

“I love other women. The engagement between Saya and Zeta will definitely happen in the future so I ask to step it down until we are 20 years old. Now let me set the feeling I have.”

Kling.

Dad threw a fork and knife on the table and made the atmosphere go back to silence. I looked at Ken who was staring at me. I think I know who he's been talking about for 2 months. Someone I thought was me turned out to be someone else. It hurts so much to know the truth and it hurts so much when I know the hope I made has destroyed myself.

“Do your father know what you are doing right now?” ask Dad while wiping his mouth with napkin.

“No," replied Ken without hesitation.

“Can Zeta talk to Ken alone?” my question was finally getting Arthur to throw a fork and knife on the table.

“Do what you think is right, Mom will be waiting for you in the reading room.”

Just a nod I gave in response. Now in the dining room there's just me and Ken. He still continued to look at me, the gaze of someone who did not want to lose something in his life. Now that I know for sure, he just didn't want to lose that woman and also the friendship between our families.

“Is she the woman you've been telling me about for the past 2 months?” ask me to break the silence that lasted for 5 minutes.

“At first I couldn't believe it when people said you were so easy to read. We've known each other since childhood, I didn't realize how easy you were to read. When other friends said you liked me, I didn't believe it but now I believe it.”

“You didn't answer my question,” cut me don't want to mince words anymore.

“I've never liked you, from us little until now. I always thought of you as my sister. I want to put a clear limit on our relationship.”

The bounds?

He has set a limit, a limit that I can't break until finally he himself removes the limit. The boundary he had built since we were Junior High and only he had broken two months ago. What other boundaries will he build?

“When we are 20 years old, will you ask our family to cancel our matchmaking?”

“…”

“Alright, give me until my birthday. During that time, I will organize my feelings and will give a decision even before we are 20 years old.”

“…”

“You will never be the woman I will love. Don't do anything. Please,” he said.

“Alright, I'll follow what you ask.”

...-----...

I want to be the antagonist who destroys the main character in a story. I wanted to be a mean and selfish person to get what I wanted but reality came at me at the speed of light that kept me from dodging. I can't be the antagonist or the protagonist in a story. I will forever only be a figurehead player who has no one important role.

It's been two weeks since that incident and I've been through the usual days that have left my family confused and frightened. Confusion that no teenage girl has shown anything after heartbreak and fear because now I'm hiding my true feelings for the first time in my life. It's easy to be someone who covers up her feelings. It's so easy to make me want to be who I am now.

I turned my gaze to the rear-view mirror where William and Arthur were looking at me in turn. They kept looking back and scared me that William would hit the vehicle in front of us. I decided to give her a smile as usual. As soon as he saw my smile, Arthur immediately turned his body back and looked at me directly.

“Solid boy,” he said.

Everyone is going to be a fool when in love and everyone is going to come back rational when heartbroken. Ironically, when we are happy we become stupid and when we are sad we become smart again. It seems like the brain and heart will never walk in the same path and direction. One of them had to give up for the sake of the happiness of the owner.

Back I take my eyes out. Someone I know very well, someone who just rejected me two weeks ago is now walking side by side with another woman. They chatted and laughed together as if there were only the two of them in this world. A fake laugh, I don't know which one of the two is fake. Or maybe I want what I see right now is a falsehood not a sincerity.

“How can he...”.

“So, will loving and being loved make us happy? Will I be like them when I find someone I love and love me?” I asked to cut before the swearing came out of Arthur's mouth.

“…”

“Can I not find someone who loves me?”

“Many love you,” replied William quickly.

“They were just scared because you came from the Allison family,” continued Arthur made William hit his head.

“Then I will look for someone who is not afraid of the Allison.” family

...-----...