Mentari in the Night Sky

The Past: Time Limits

"This is the second time Alvin has left a lollipoo and a piece of paper. Can't you come to the music room as usual?" caroline complained as soon as she saw me walking towards the seat.

I took my favorite lollipop and a piece of paper out of Caroline's hand for the second time after this morning before the lesson started he also thrust the same thing at me. Caroline was still looking at me with a whining look. Something must have happened when Alvin gave Caroline candy and paper, something that definitely bothered her.

I just gently rubbed Caroline's blonde hair and made her instantly twist her body back to me. I immediately put the lollipop into the table drawer and opened the folded little paper very neatly. The folds are very much in line with Alvin's personality.

'I know you're scared of me right now. I don't care if you want to stay away from me for the next few days, but I beg you not to stay away from me for so on and even forever. There's something I want to tell you, I have to say it straight away. I'll keep waiting for you in the music room at recess and 30 minutes after the bell goes home. I beg.'

"For someone who knows what it's like to wait, don't you want other people to feel that feeling?"

The question Stephanie asked left me stunned. I paused for a moment while playing the small paper in my hand. I know it would be very sad if I didn't finish it as soon as possible.

"Step, make him wait for me not to explode or come to him and make him hear something painful, which one would you choose?"

"You know how easy it is to read, right?"

"Huh?" confused reply.

"You sure wish I'd choose to make him wait, right?"

"As I expected from Zeta, it's too easy to read" Caroline's chimpanzee was accompanied by a small pat, a head-butt, and of course a mocking smile of hers.

"I think today many people are thinking why a Zeta should be angry because of something like this, even the fact that Kak Alvin is a member of the Nakamoto Family makes everyone amazed, so why is a Zeta angry?"

"..."

"This is the first time in your life you've been able to open up so quickly and this is the first time you've known a man other than Ken. Zeta, right now you feel disappointed that Alvin didn't say anything about him when you opened up to him and told him a lot about you. Zeta, meet Kak Alvin and ask for an explanation from him then the disappointment you feel will slowly disappear. The way to get rid of the disappointment of someone is to ask for an explanation and clarity from him, instead of making him wait.”

"I agree with Stephanie. And I know you won't say hurtful words because right now you're not angry. Just look at Ken, after everything he's done, are you mad at him? No, you're not mad at him and make all of us around you angry at him."

"I'm..."

"For you the slightest mistake is still a mistake but there are times when we have to look at the degree of error made by someone to make a decision. Zeta, this world is not just right and wrong or black and white. My son is old, finally able to see the rest of the world" Stephanie cuts while gently rubbing my hair.

"Friends, it's time for the art hour, let's all go to the art room!" nasha shouted from the front of the class.

Stephanie and Caroline took their books and pulled me to walk with them. Not long before I realized from my mind, Caroline had already given her cynical look towards Ken who was currently helping Natasha tell other friends to rush into the music room. It will be very difficult for Ken to get back into our circle of friendship especially Caroline and Arthur. Ah... I forgot the fact that William would be the most opposed if Ken wanted to re-establish a good relationship with us.

Was love during High School really this tiring?

"Looks like God helped you make a decision and helped Alvin to meet you,” Stephanie said as she walked through the music room of Alvin and William's class.

Caroline immediately opened the door of the still-empty art room. The two sisters came straight into the room, leaving me standing at the door looking out at the music room, where I used to spend my break time with Alvin. It seems like God has helped me.

"Wait, Zeta. Mrs Jasmine told us to go into music room 2" Natasha said.

I just nodded and gestured to the two twin sisters who were already busy with their world to move into the music room. I let the other friends in first as Natasha tried to ask the others to wait for me as well as my two best friends. Forever I will never be able to understand Natasha's thoughts, how can she still behave as before when she was with the man I was betrothed to.

Wouldn't it feel so awkward?

"This time I'm 100% sure, I'm gonna hate Ken for the rest of my life," caroline said as she squeezed the book as soon as she saw Ken who kept trying to help Natasha open the door to the music room when Natasha had opened it herself.

"Are you jealous because Ken can show affection with the person he loves when you don't?" attack Stephanie.

Stephanie's attack made me smile thinly and immediately embrace Caroline.

"But I think Caroline's been making out with Nichole a lot."

"Girlgigy!!!" I shouted together with Stephanie and Caroline, surprised to hear the voice of our art teacher who was suddenly behind us.

Some of the children who had not entered the room immediately turned their heads towards us as soon as a shout sounded. Ms. Jasmine simply chuckled and directly told the others to quickly enter the room. He also patted Caroline on the shoulder as the three of us entered the room.

"Okay, I'm not going to make small talk. Now Ken and Zeta please go ahead to play the piano for assessment."

"Mother, I've changed my partner to Natasha."

"Mom knows it, you even announced it in public. Stop saying that, don't you have a conscience for Mom who is currently single?"

Some children were trying to hold back their laughter, including me. Only Ken is currently being serious, it looks like he could explode if Natasha had not prevented him. Who would have thought Miss Jasmine's answer would be this funny?

"Mother, yesterday I put down the paper changing my musical partner from Ken to Charlotte" I said after being able to control laughter.

"Ah..really? Looks like the paper is stacked with other papers. Alright. Ken and his new partner please come forward.

Ken and Natasha directly advanced forward as soon as Bu Jasmine sat in her chair. Ken helped Natasha sit down, which was ridiculous for us to see. I guess it wasn't just me who was amused by all the affection and behavior Ken showed, some kids slowly turned their faces the other way. Even Stephanie who had not thought much about it, was now clenching her hands together. And of course Caroline had put on her gloomy face.

Piano clinks began to sound composing a rhythm that I was very familiar with. Sonata Moonlight. Very different from what Alvin played, just one time hearing Alvin play the sonata it can already make me feel the game belongs to Ken is very tasteless. Something like missing from the notes Ken played. If I play Moonlight Sonata, will I also feel a sense of wonder?

Ting..

The game is quite good, considering Natasha just started to know and play the piano when entering this school. I have to admit, Natasha is smart and all the scholarships she's earned aren't lying. If only he had been born into a fairly well-to-do family, I think he would be someone quite contested by some families to be their son-in-law.

Caroline nudged my arm and told me to follow her index. Now I see Ken who's putting on an upset face. As if one were to notice it, he immediately turned his head and looked into my eyes. A look of annoyance and anger, I could feel it for a few seconds even though now that gaze had already turned into his usual gaze.

"Good, Natasha was a few times too fast to play the tempo. But pretty good. For the future there will always be one or two pairs that will play the piano or musical instruments that you agree with your partner. Now we focus on the theory of the classical musical journey."

...-----...

"You're not out?" stephanie asked as soon as she saw me not getting out of my seat.

"No."

"Ah. I forgot."

"Then we go first. We're both waiting for you in the cafeteria. Bye bye."

I waved Caroline's hand back. It was 15 minutes before the bell went off. I didn't know what to do during that time. I move my legs closer to the piano which is already tightly closed.

"I think I'm gonna play a song I made with you."

"What are you doing here?!" I shouted as soon as I realized Ken was still in the music room.

"I haven't left this room yet."

Ken walked closer to me. I stood up from the piano chair and walked towards the door. I don't know what he's going to do and right now there's just the two of us in a quiet room.

"I won't do anything" he said as if he knew what I was thinking.

"You're really very easy to read" he continued.

"How did you think my game was?" the question returned after successfully making it stay in this room.

"May I stick with you for music class? Natasha has allowed me."

"Are you crazy? You should have taught her, made her deserve to be by your side like you have been doing, instead of suddenly asking her to let you play with the woman you were betrothed to. I think you're really crazy."

"I tried."

"..."

Ken turned his head towards me before finally reopening the piano and playing it randomly. He kept doing that for 5 minutes. I don't know what's in her right now, I want to leave her alone. If only William or Arthur knew about this at this time, I could make sure Ken's face would be covered with punch wounds.

"I'm trying to live without you but I can't."

"No, you can. As I said on aunt's death anniversary, our only relationship is Aunt Lily. Sooner or later you'll get used to it."

"Do you love her?"

"..."

"You don't know?"

"..."

"Do you still love me?"

"..."

"No?"

"What are you doing?" my many.

"You're so easy to read, Zeta."

Critical..

The door opened heard. I immediately turned my body towards the door and already found Alvin's face. A face decorated with smiles and gentle looks. Once again I was swept away in her blue gaze, a very calming look.

"I heard from William if your mother asked me about my gift ring."

I realized as soon as I heard his voice. Without me noticing I had hidden my hand behind my body, making her realize how wrong I was. Alvin pushed my body towards the seat, the place we used to sit for the past few days.

Wait, is this just my feeling? Why do I feel like Alvin is ignoring Ken who is also in this room?

Again, as if knowing what was in my mind, Alvin immediately stepped his feet closer to Ken. They exchanged glances for quite a long time before Ken finally stood up from the piano chair and walked to the place where he had sat before to pick up some of his books. Even without any words, I could feel that the two of them were throwing hateful words at each other.

"Do you know what kind of person I hate?" alvin asked made the atmosphere awkward.

"..."

"People who take regret as a ticket to re-enter the lives of others."

Alvin's words made Ken stop the movement of his hand that was about to open the door. He was silent for a moment before he finally turned his body towards me. She kept quiet for a long time looking at me until the sound of the piano clang rang out and made her turn her attention towards Alvin.

"And do you know what kind of person I hate?" reply Ken.

"..."

"The one who makes love a justification for his every behavior."

"Isn't that what you're doing? Does that mean you hate yourself?" alvin's reply pissed Ken off.

I won't be able to get into their conversation. To know what they're talking about, I can't. How can I stop them both?

Brak!!

"Ah... Hello, I'm still here" I said awkwardly after dropping a stack of books on the table on purpose.

Ken immediately stepped his foot out of the room.

"Thank you" said Alvin.

"For?"

"You'll see me back. I'm sorry, I know I should have told you everything but I'm missing the right time."

"Zeta reckon Big Brother has a lot of time, how could Big Brother lose the right time?"

"Because being with you makes me want to be myself, myself as Alvin not as Ryuzaki Nakamoto."

Alvin turned his body towards me. I always wondered if he knew that the blue eyes he used to gently gaze at my eyes were a weakness to me. He always gave the same look every time he looked at me. I've never even seen him look at me with a gaze other than that, a gaze that always made me want to dive deeper into his life and a gaze that made me want to be a part of his story.

"Zeta lost," I said in the end after we kept staring without saying a word.

"I'll give you time. I will not force you to accept all of this but I will force you to stay together with me. I'll give you time to realize what I mean to you and I'll wait for you to give me that answer."

"Then, does Big Brother know what I mean to Big Brother?"

"You're my life."

"..."

"I'll give you time for whatever you need but I can't give 'forever' because I don't want to wait for you 'forever'."

I just smiled at her words.

"A lot of people say if they can wait forever, why not with Alvin?"

"Rather than waiting forever, I prefer to give enough time to you and spend the rest of the time 'forever' with you. I don't want any regrets about giving you 'forever' time when you've had enough 'as long as you need'. It will be very painful and sad when someone we are waiting for has got an answer to his feelings but because we give time 'forever', he said', the time he thought was enough would turn out to be insufficient and the answer he had already found turned into doubt just because of the word 'forever'. So, I will wait for you as long as you need" Alvin said as he walked closer to me.

'For as long as you need', I omitted those four words while waiting for Ken and let myself wait for him forever. I threw away the possibility of regret I would feel for believing I could wait for him forever. I learned one new thing, 'waiting forever' is not something everyone can do. There are times when the word 'forever' makes a person forget that he or she has had enough of the time he or she needs. There are times when the word 'forever' only makes pride in someone's heart until finally someone falls into the arrogance he made.

"Thank you" I said.

"For what?"

"The presence in Zeta's life."

...-----...