Mentari in the Night Sky

The Past: Puzzle

"Mom wants to hear the development of Zeta's condition," said Mother as she placed a plate containing fruit on the table. The next second my mother gently rubbed my hair before finally leaving the room where I was consulting with Doctor Margaret and Doctor Esme.

"Play this, the doctor thinks you won't open your mouth like before" said Dr. Esme while removing various puzzles from her bag.

I honestly don't understand the method he used. He didn't force me to talk or tell him everything I felt. He never even asked me. It was like he was giving me freedom, freedom to keep the trauma of the past or step out of it.

Seeing the many toys I always played with as a child, I think he was making me remember my childhood so I could open up little by little to tell about my childhood. Instead of being open, I focused on every toy she brought with her - rubik, playdough, puzle, and other toys. I picked up a puzzle depicting a pair of pigeons and dropped all the pieces of the puzzle onto the table. Dr. Margaret who was enjoying the fruit was surprised to hear the sound of falling puzzle pieces. I took another puzzle again, this time with a portrait of a happy family. Once again I dropped the puzzle piece onto the table. And I took another puzzle back.

"You need to solve this puzzle. It will be difficult for you if the pieces between the puzzles are mixed," said Dr. Esme just as my hand was about to drop the puzzle pieces for the third time.

"Zeta's childhood wish, did Zeta just eliminate or did Zeta manipulate her?" my question left the two doctors in front of me speechless at the sudden change in me. Dr. Margaret even put on an astonished face with her mouth forming the letter O and her left index finger covering her lower lip. In contrast to Doctor Margaret, Doctor Esme was only surprised for a few seconds which was marked by her eyes slightly enlarged and then gave a smile to me.

Dr. Esme took the puzzle board next to me and put some puzzle pieces together. As soon as he installed 5 pieces of the puzzle, he gave a sign to me to install other pieces. I exhaled quite hard before finally following his game. I hated the fact that all the puzzles he brought had family or couple themes, completely incompatible with my current condition. I finished this family picture puzzle in 5 minutes and switched to a pair of pigeons.

"Zeta did both" said Dr. Esme as soon as I finished the dove-drawn puzzle.

"The idea that Zeta lost was it a memory before uncle's death?"

"true."

"The idea that Zeta lost was that also the reason behind uncle's death?"

"true."

"The impression that Zeta manipulated was the memory of the moment when Zeta found her lifeless Uncle in her room?"

"true."

"Then, did anyone else ask Zeta to erase that memory?"

"..."

Doctor Esme kept her mouth shut even after 5 minutes I asked that question. Dr. Margaret also repeatedly kicked him in the leg, asking him to answer my question immediately before I translated his silence into a no-no. I have indeed translated his silence as an answer when he only silently looked at me for 3 seconds after I asked the question.

'Yes', that was the answer I translated from his silence. I've guessed long before if there's someone who's also responsible for my reasons for erasing the memories that caused my trauma. I know that my mentality is not as strong as my father's because my mother also has some mental condition that she put down to me and also to Arthur. Luckily, William did not get the same thing because he was the future of the Allison Family. But as weak as my mental state is, I will never erase the memories in my life because my mother always taught me to save and be grateful for every memory I have made. I don't know what makes me so sure of this considering that I was quite small. One thing that made me certain was that it took me 2 years before I finally dispelled the memories of uncle's death. If my mental state was that weak, I would have already dispelled those memories on the day of uncle's death.

"Doctor Esme?" call Doctor Margaret quietly while nudging Doctor Esme's arm.

"Zeta has got the answer" he replied, avoiding my eyes.

"You still have to answer it, Doctor,” whispered Doctor Margaret.

"Does Aunt Emily know about the memory Zeta lost?" ask me to cut the conversation about this work ethic.

"You know everything, don't you?" reply Doctor Esme.

"Zeta just guessed it. Why did it take Zeta 2 years to finally erase that memory? And why does Aunt Emily willingly work at Allison Hospital when she desperately wants to get out of the Allison Family's trap? Aren't those two things weird enough?"

"When did you know?"

"Junior high school."

"Then why don't you find out more about your memory?"

"Because Zeta still doesn't want to see how dark the Allison Family is but now Zeta wants to know more about how dark this family is."

"..."

"Doctor Margaret?" call me.

"Yes?" he answered with surprise.

"Tante once told me no matter what happens aunty will always be there for Zeta. Can the doctor tell him if Zeta needs it?"

"Ah. huh? Fine."

"Did something happen?" asked Dr. Esme as soon as I tidied up the puzzles she was carrying.

"Something happens every second, Doc."

"That's not what the doctor meant..."

"Do doctors know how to prove two people don't love each other?" I'm gonna cut Doctor Esme's speech.

Again my question made these two doctors silent. I waited 1 minute just to get the silence. I got out of my seat, trying to end today's meeting. Seeing me walking towards the door made the two doctors hurriedly tidy up their luggage.

"Ah... lie test? Polygraph test?" doctor Margaret said in an unconvinced tone.

"Ah.," I said along with Dr. Esme.

"Thank you, Doc" I said before opening the door and walking out.

As soon as I opened the door, some of the maids who were cleaning the area around the room were surprised to see that I had gone out with my two doctors. I just smiled and asked one or two employees to clean the room I was just wearing. Normally I would spend 2 hours in that room without a word coming out of my mouth but today it only takes 30 minutes. Those who already know this habit will certainly be surprised and wonder the reason behind this short meeting time. I was still wondering why I suddenly opened my mouth and took out all my estimates, estimates that turned into facts.

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