WORRIED

WOUND (HOLDING)

(smirk-snary smile)

" mrs you don't have to worry. God has arranged who I am. If indeed Raka is my soul mate however you wish to separate us it will not happen, on the contrary if we insist on being united if God does not predestine it then we will be separated. So for you madam, don't bother threatening or separating us. Let us see later let the hand of God determine. Thanks for the coffe, I'm sorry lady" I stood up leaving aunt veronica still sitting. My heart aches, hurts with all the words of aunt veronica.

I left the cafe in a mess, I took the taxi I stopped. I've never felt this kind of heartache. Aunty veronica's words really made a turning point in my relationship. These tears were getting louder when I saw Raka's face on my screen. It was so tight I couldn't breathe. I just had a moment of happiness and I had to lose that happiness.

" God why can't you let me be calm and happy, you always make my life in the test. Strengthen me Lord I am no longer strong" my inner self . I covered both my faces with my hands. Removing the tears that were dripping down my cheek.

What should I do now. I loved him so much that I would not let him go. On the other hand I don't want Raka against her parents. This is all too hard for me.

My hole is shaking, there's an incoming call. Mom called me, I couldn't answer. I also told my mother by sending a message.

***to mom

Mah I have business, mamah sleep just don't wait for me to come home, I eat out well mah.

I sent you a message. So that mommy doesn't worry about me.

" where is the lady going?" the taxi driver suddenly asked me.

" take me to the area of punctured sir" I said as I held back my sobs..

After a few hours I finally arrived. I saw a very beautiful view of the city of Bandung from above this area. The flickering of the Stars in the sky and the light of the lights in the building made it even more beautiful. But none of that healed my pain. Pain in all my circumstances. I'm flashing back my life. From the time of my bully-filled High School. I was a kid with all my parents fighting. I'm getting sobbing remembering all those things. Until finally. I found Raka who can warm the cold in my life. Raka was a figure who in an instant dried up my tears. Raka helped me to lift all the burdens of life that had been in my life. He is the one God brought to my happiness. But it will soon be over .

" God until when this suffering is finished"

I screamed no matter what everyone looked at me. I also became more and more.

" Lord, I have no power to endure this" I sat weakly on the ground. I was crying so much. In my tears, I felt someone holding both of my shoulders.

" what's wrong with you?" sounds of women . I just fell down in my cry. I'm tired, not even strong to stand. The woman led me to stand up, told me to sit in a chair. Then give you a bottle of mineral water

" drink, you're so pale, you're tired" the woman kept holding my shoulder. Sometimes he rubs it gently . I took the water and then swallowed it. I'm starting to calm down. There was only the sound of my breathing getting heavier.

" thank you" I said. I saw the woman, there was worry on her face when I saw her.

" strength, sometimes you have to give up all the things you want, God has planned the next better thing, You just have to accept it with sincerity on this part" the woman hugged me tightly, she hugged me, I returned his embrace. The burden that squeezed my feelings lifted a little. I shed my tears back

" don't cry anymore, have pity on you who are already like this" she continued to calm me down. I kept hugging him . He rubbed my back.

" you've calmed down, you have to go home it's been very night. I'll just walk." he said, looking at me who was calm.

" thank you, no need I'll book a taxi online" I said.

"alright then" she smiled sweetly at me

" i'm sorry what my sister's name is" I saw that she was very mature, her age was comparable to my 4th brother. About 29 years.

" Rika" said .

" oh well my name is megan, thank you very much brother. " Rika just smiled softly at my words.

"huh my age is dead" I saw my hape screen . I forgot the maengecasnya earlier because I was in a hurry to meet aunt veronica . I scratched my head. I looked at Rika who was smiling at me

"Receive my ride sweet brother, you won't be able to go home if you refuse" he pulled my nose.

" well, thank you very much sister" I clasped Rika's hand. Rika pulled my hand .

"we're home, your parents must be worried about you" Rika took me to her car. I followed him because there was no other choice.

Rika drove her car.

" Where's your address?" Rika looked at.

" On the road, xx no x ." I gave my house information in detail.

" Well I'll take you home, will you tell me?" Rika looked at me with a curious face.

" well tell me why you got so frustrated back there?" said .

"oh that. I was really frustrated. I'm confused about my own life" I replied.

" wee. what makes you so frustrated, you're so young?" Rika looked at you .Then he refocused himself on the road.

" I had to choose to leave the person I love so much, because her mother couldn't accept me" I held back my tears from falling back.

" is he very rich?" tanyak .

" yeah, why did you guess it?". I was astonished that she could guess what happened to me.

" i once felt in your position" Rika stopped her speech. I stared at him fixedly he just focused his gaze towards the road.

" My parents were against me when a guy used to propose to me, they turned him down, until I finally had to leave my family" Rika stopped saying.

" I'm sorry "I said that I saw great sadness in his eyes

" its okay sweet sister, because it's my past, you just have to be strong . What's weighing on you right now, let go. You're young, there's still a lot of happiness out there. If you can't be strong anymore you just have to ask God for what's best for you" Rika let her smile off at me. But I still see his sadness

" may I ask you one thing" I asked, wondering about the story

" ask" he said flatly

" is brother happy now?" ask me very carefully. Because the look on his face left sadness after telling it.

" you know I'm alone now, I'm not with him. And I could never find it until this second after that night." The talk is written . I saw him holding back his tears.

"i'm sure big brother can find her one day. "I saw her facial expression, her face was flat, she seemed to be daydreaming.

After that we were silent. I've never understood what kind of mind-path there is in the brains of people like aunty veronica. Didn't he know, if God wanted to, God would take all the treasures he was proud of in an instant. Rika has the same story as me. However, he was in the position of Raka . Her parents were strongly opposed to her relationship.

I thought about how devastated he used to be like me right now. Raka wasn't my first love. But He was the one who was able to make my long-sleeping dreams begin to materialize. My sadness and tears never came when Raka was beside me. The color of my life that ash turned into a beautiful rainbow with him.

Say, say the beginning

Because it finally felt so heavy

The world is not as beautiful as you say

The world swallowed my heart

Tell me where it went

Young times and bright laughter

A world that is silent without you

The world that swallowed my heart

I don't want to wake up, wake up alone

I don't want to be awake, awake without you

Reduce, reduce my injuries

Oh, accompany my sepiku

Oh, find me loose

Oh, where to walk

(noah-built song lyrics themselves)

Rika turned on the radio in her car. The song is playing. Rika and I just kept quiet to hear the lyrics. Recipe lyrics. I was in a difficult position like the one in those lyrics. I don't want to wake up alone. I don't want to wake up without you.