The Light of ANAS

Because Dad

The romantic dinner atmosphere is complemented by piano music with the song of Love Incredible sung by Arfin for the girl of the heart, making the night feel more beautiful. The girl was made to flower and continued to look at the man who was singing by throwing his sweetest smile as if lulled and lulled with a song that seemed as if Arfin was expressing his feelings to Naz. And it turns out that after completing the song of his love song, Arfin immediately approached Naz and knelt before him and expressed all his feelings of love for Naz without releasing his eyes from the beautiful Naz.

“Will you accept my love, Rheanazwa?”, Arfin asks Naz for his love expression, whereas Naz just silently pecked in surprise and in disbelief hearing all the expressions of Arfin's feelings for him, his hands became cold, tremors seemed to be rolling all over his body, but his eyes were still staring at each other with Arfin still kneeling before him, his feelings seemed to touch blue.

“Sister Arfin,,,,,”, Slowly down, “Sister Arfin I,,,,,,”, suddenly Naz's lips felt stiff, as if it was hard to get the words out, and when Naz was about to say something, he said, suddenly he fell silent as if remembering something and his gaze turned wistfully at Arfin. “Sir Arfin,,, Sorry,,, me,, me, I, I can't”, he said lowered his gaze, then Naz released both hands from Arfin's grasp, “Sorry, Brother,,, I'm sorry Kak”, he said and Naz turned his back to leave.

Arfin who heard Naz's reply felt extremely shocked as if being struck by lightning broke his heart instantly. “Why Naz…. Why?”, he quietly asked and stopped Naz's steps.

“I do not deserve Brother Arfin,, I do not deserve Brother,,,”, replied Naz while sticking a palm on his chest as if he was enduring the stifling pain.

“I just think of Brother Arfin as my own Brother, I love you as much as I love Brother Dandy and my other brothers,, sorry I Brother, thank you for your affection, thank you for the attention you always give, thank you for all your sacrifices, thank you also for the love you give, but again sorry, I can not repay her”, I can not repay you, he said without looking back at Arfin who was kneeling behind him, then Naz smothered his mouth and immediately ran away from the place, Naz walked down the stairs until the first floor with tears flowing from both eyes. He ran out of the restaurant without caring for anyone who noticed him, he spread his gaze on the side of the road looking for a taxi, and after waiting for a while a taxi appeared and then stopped immediately Naz boarded it and said the destination address.

Along the way Naz continued to cry while continuing to throw apologies from his lips, “Sorry me Brother, sorry me, hyks hyks,,,”, he said without stopping his crying until he pleased.

While inside the restaurant Arfin was still kneeling down did not flinch at all with a face still shocked at the answer Naz made, he was still pensive and a few moments later he reduced himself to dropping his butt on the floor of the stage, bruk,,, he lowered his head with both hands in front of him as a pedestal, bughh,,,,, he held back,,, he hit the floor with his fist.

Arfin POVs

Arghhh, why can I be this stupid, what I heard was real, Naz said he didn't deserve me, and,, why can I trust myself to express my feelings to him, why do I not think Naz accepts me as just a big brother, he is right, because he's too perfect for me to have this many flaws. Why can I think that he will accept my shortcomings as a partner, of course, I am limping this will only make him ashamed, why do I not think until there,, arghh,,,,,, why,,, love can make me this stupid.

It turned out that I was wrong, I misunderstood her attitude towards me, Naz didn't have the same feelings as me, so all this time he just thought of me as his sister, no, no, no,, it's not possible I'm sure I heard wrong, I'm sure he loves me too, I'm sure he reciprocates my feelings like two lovebirds who love each other, I'm sure of it. There's no way she'd be mad at me when I'm with another woman if it wasn't for jealousy, I'm still sure you love me Naz, I'm sure. Ahh, I should have followed him, definitely not far away. I'd better get up and chase him, he's not far from here.

No, no, he already rejected me and left me, I won't teach him, I'm wrong, means right my guess when he sent me a voice note the other day, the other day, he says he loves her and waits for her to declare love, which means it's not me, which means he means someone else, and Ruby says Naz is in love, that means that it was in love with someone else not me, why don't I think, after he sent the voice note he never tried to contact me at all, Arghh why I can be this stupid, I am overconfident and put my logic aside.

Twice, twice, twice I was close to a woman and ended up leaving me, they just gave me false hope, and I should have realized, it is true that no woman would accept a disabled man like me who would only put them to shame, no one could love me sincerely and accept my shortcomings. Yes, yes, I should be like I used to be, no need to pay attention to the women in my life, no need to hope for women, no need to deal with romance, to hell with love, to hell with everything. Arghh….

The naz POV

“Sorry mbak, this has arrived at the address that mbak mentioned earlier”, said the taxi driver who had stopped the speed of his car.

And sure enough, I arrived at the gate of the house, I immediately took the money from my small bag and then paid the taxi fare, then I immediately went down. I opened the gate that turned out not to be locked, I entered with a giant step while continuing to wipe my tears that were still flowing profusely, I saw no car father or Mother, I did not have, it means they haven't come home yet. Ting nong, I pressed the doorbell because I forgot not to bring the key, before long Iyem opened the door for me.

“Loh Neng Naz, why? Ko cry that?”, Mbak Iyem immediately asked when he saw my condition.

“What's wrong Mba, I'm just serious again because of PMS, so want to get angry just as crying not because”. My answer is in while as you like, ”Dad same Mommy has not returned Mbak?”, my question and then enter walking past Mbak Iyem.

“Not Neng, “.

“Mbak, don't tell anyone I'm coming home in this condition yeah, I just don't want everyone to worry, my mood is not good anymore,, I went to the room first yes “, I said giving a message.

“Iya neng”.

I rushed to my room, opened the door and went in and closed it again. I rested my body behind the door, my body felt weak slumped just to the floor,, “Hiks,,, hiks, hiks.. I'm sorry Kak Arfin, forgive me,,,, hiks hyks,,, forgive me for hurting your heart, forgive me for rejecting your love, forgive me for being unworthy of you, forgive me,, torch, I was only able to dialogue on my own while pounding my chest that felt claustrophobic with my tears that were incessantly flowing down my cheeks.

I've lied to her and it must have been very painful for her, just an apology I could keep saying to her, and this is the most painful thing for me to have to hurt the person I love and love me so much. Huhuhuhuhu hikh hyks, I kept crying until I didn't realize I was asleep on the floor behind the door.

Tok tok tok. “Darling,, wake up,, this tea is already half eight, let's have breakfast together, all tea people are starving for you “, the sound of Mother's cry was able to make my softness instantly accumulate instantly.

“You have breakfast first aja Bund,, I again PMS my stomach tastes bad,,,”, I replied from behind the door without intending to open it.

“Oh, already oruh if it's mah, Mother, Dad, same Dandy breakfast first yes, you rest, later Mommy asks Mbak Iyem just deliver breakfast here ya”.

“Yes, Bund”, I replied feeling relieved that there was no way I would let Mother see my situation like this, I walked to my bed, my body felt sick all night after sleeping on the floor. My steps stopped when passing through the twalet mirror, there I looked very messy with the state of still wearing a dress last night, my face was damp and tangled, my eyes are swollen with eye liner and mascara that overflow like a rain of ink under the eyes of the effect of crying all night, it turns out I was fooled by sales who said eyeliner and mascara anti-water, anti-water, just hit by tears have faded let alone hit by the water segayung, my hair was messy like a lion that was hit by an electric shock.

Suddenly I remembered when last night I reflected still in a beautiful state like the princess in a fairy tale and now my appearance changed not to be an ash-up again but more like being called like a madman, my tears were dripping down my cheeks without excuse, remembering the evil I did last night to the man I loved so much. It turns out this is what it feels like to be heartbroken, it feels like to fall before developing, just first falling in love and not yet starting a relationship, it's over, Sakiiiittt. Why is it so painful, why is this sick,, my tears keep flowing without me being able to brake.

I lay my body on the bed hugging the two dolls he gave me,,,”Tedy bear,, I'm sorry I hurt your Master,, maybe this is better for Him in the future,, hiks hix,,,”.

Before long Ma'am Iyem sent me breakfast, and said that Dad and Kak Dandy went to the hospital there was an emergency call while Mommy went to the Boutique because there were many orders. Even though it's Sunday they still work, but this time it's different than usual I feel grateful because they don't need to see my sad situation like this. I kept confining myself in my room and lamented my sadness alone, occasionally I went out just to go to the bathroom, eating until the night was delivered to the room by Ma'am Iyem, and I told him not to tell anyone about my situation, and asked him to send ice cubes to me to compress my swollen eyes.

Even tonight I still cry over my mistakes by constantly looking at my phone screen hoping he will call me, I thought that even though we could not have a relationship between lovers as friends, although it might not be as close as before, but it was just my imagination, maybe I was too naive to hope for the impossible.

The next day I went to school as usual after breakfast together, and I left with Mr. Udin who I had threatened not to obey Bang Evan again. Upon arriving at school I met my three best friends and went to class together. While in class I occasionally daydreamed and did not pay attention to the lesson, and it happened in the break when I gathered with my three best friends, but when asked what was the matter, why and so on, I can only hide and hide the sadness I feel.

It didn't feel like a week went by for sad days, I hid my sadness from everyone, every night crying with the same regret and hope, but this time it was different, and it makes me sadder. When I went home from school my three best friends invited me to Kiara's house on the grounds of doing the task, and I was willing. Arriving at Kiara's house, we gathered at the gazebo in the yard next to Kiara's house to do the task there.

“Naz,, lo why the hell, from earlier snacking aja, and I noticed you in class also often daydream, do you have a problem?”, Ruby asked me and I just shook my head with a smile. “Naz, you forgot, yes, we are friends already from Kindergarten,, we already know each other, if you have a problem or something stuck in your heart , you can tell us the same story, besides that it can ease your feelings, maybe we can help”, said Ruby rubbed my shoulder, and somehow there was a push from where I suddenly felt I could not take it anymore.

“Huaaaaaaa,, huhuhuhuhu,, huhuhu,, “, suddenly my cry broke, I cried by covering my face with my palms, I cried as hard as I could.

“Naz, lo why”, b,

“Naz wipe it By”

“You did Naz anyway By”

I heard my three friends who were panicking, but I didn't care, I just wanted to cry and cry to get the tightness off my chest.

“Naz lo why,, “, Ruby asked me again while rubbing my head.

“Sakiit By,,, sick, it hurts,, huhuhu hiks”, I said in between my cries, then Ruby hugged me from the side ,”Crying is Naz,,,,, Ruby,,, cry if it can ease your pain”, he said trying to calm me down.

After a while I let go of my palm that had covered my face, I took a tissue that they had prepared in front of me to wipe away my tears that had been mixed with my snot. They seemed to understand and did not ask anything more until waiting for me to calm down.

“Gue has hurt him ,,,, I am evil with him, hit him ”, I said in between my cries.

“Evil same who mean lo… ? don't tell me you've done wrong people, keep that person dead and you're not responsible?”, Ruby even talked to ngaco.

“Kak Arfin's..”, stream me.

“Whataa??”, the three of them asked in unison.

“Kak Arfin shoot me. hiks ”.

“Alhamdulillah...”, they also give thanks together.

“But, I've rejected him raw..hiks quiz,,,".

“Whata..?”, they came back surprised and asked in unison.

“How the hell lo, he said lo wait for him to love the same lo, why even you refuse?”. Kiara immediately protested to me with a disappointed look.

“Where is the story, ko lo can get to Naz?”, Ruby asks the chronology.

“So, a week ago when he picked me up at school, he made sure I had dinner, and it turns out that night he expressed his feelings to me, but I refused him, instead, hiks hiks ”.

“But why Naz,,, what's the reason? Not that you are also in love with Arfin?”, Kiara asked again.

“Naz, don't tell me you are affected by the words of the demon Gio?”, said Ruby by touching my hand and I just shook my head

“Keep why dong Naz,, why do you refuse Kak Arfin , is it because of Bang Evan?”, Andes also asked my reason and I shook my head again.

“ Continue because of what you reject Kak Arfin”, Kiara asked again.

“Because,,, because Dad, Ra hiks hiks...”.

“Dad…?? He meant how,,, ?”, Kiara was astonished.

“Dad ask me to go away Arfin..hiks hiks,,,?”.

“Whata,.??”, they were surprised back.

“How do you mean, instead of the same Father Mother has known Kak Arfin for a long time, you once said that Kak Arfin and Kak Dandy are friends since Kindergarten we are,,,, you have said that Kak Arfin and Kak Dandy have been friends since our Kindergarten,,,

“why could Naz, surely I know if Kak Arfin is a good person?", Ruby was astonished.

“So, when Brother Arfin brought me home, Dad was on the terrace welcoming me, then invited me in for lunch with him, and after that Dad invited me to chat because we have not talked together for a long time.

Flashbacks

“Darling, may I ask you something?”, Dad asked when we just finished eating.

“By lah,, it does not pay well, hehe”, I replied cengengesan.

“ Dear, how far along have you been with Arfin?”, Dad as if interrogating me.

“Means Dad?” many surprised.

“When we're in Bandung, I've seen your closeness, plus when you're lost he worries about you so much and searches for you endlessly, is he also the one who calls you every night?”, Dad again scraped information from me while I just nodded then lowered my gaze, “ Stay away from him !”, said Dad in a firm tone.

I immediately raised my gaze, “Why Well,,, Brother Arfin is a good person and very considerate of me, why should I stay away from him? Is it because of him,,,,”, I asked in wonder.

“Not Naz,,, father does not mind his physical condition, only,,,, Arfin it comes from a distinguished and honorable family, Father is only afraid if his family knows your identity, they'll keep you away from Arfin, maybe he can accept you with your identity, but his family???, Dad paused, "Naz, four years ago, what he said, Her sister Arfin fell in love with a girl, they thought the girl was not clear of her origin, until the Arfin family separated them both, even though they were married secretly. I don't want you to have the same fate as that girl. Especially if the people around him know your identity, maybe it will affect his good name, so you better stay away from Arfin before it's too late,,, I'm sorry Naz, you know,, it's all for your good”, Dad explained at length then rubbed my head and I could only sit down.

Flashback off

“At first I thought that Arfin's sister took dinner only turned out he shot me, and that I didn't care the same word Gio,,,, and,, but after Dad said that as if justifying what Gio told me, that I was not worthy of any man because I would only make that man ashamed, she said, the sentence seemed to ring in my ear as I was about to answer the statement of love Arfin... hiks... hiks... hiks.....”.

“Naz, anyway I do not want you broken heart like gini, I will come to Kak Arfin and explain everything”, said Ruby.

“Don't By, don't see him, because it's only gonna hurt him more, and I beg you not to tell anyone about this matter,, because no one knows including Bunda”, I said pleading with as much as possible.

“But Naz, you guys love each other, if this is how you don't just hurt him but hurt yourself lo”, Kiara coaxed me.

“Udah is Ra, maybe this is my fate like gini,, I hitchhiked to the bathroom yes, Ra", said I got up from my seat and rushed to go to the bathroom, there, and, in the house. When I came back and walked up to them, I saw the three of them talking about something serious by sitting across from each other, suddenly they piled the right palm in a mound and then released it down as if doing a deal.

------------ TB --------------------------------- TB

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Will Naz and Arfin unite???

What were the three friends of Naz planning....???

Happy Reading's..... 😉🥰