The Light of ANAS

The Suspicious Gelagat

Today the orphanage of maternal love is in mourning and mourning for the death of the owner and caretaker of the orphanage who is the only mother for the children who live there. Cry of sadness enveloped all residents of the orphanage, as well as those closest to the deceased who came to worship, including Naz. He felt very lost to people who had always been his confiding friends when he played to the orphanage or to the lake since he was a child that he had considered his own family. Now he can only cry over his passing and there is regret in his heart for not taking care of the deceased while still sick, and he cannot see the deceased's body for the last time, either, because he came late to the funeral.

Naz who is now in the funeral home continues to cry in the arms of Mother, in addition to sad because of the departure of Bude, also because of Arfin's attitude to her at the funeral, it was the first time they had met after the incident at Arfin's home the other day. The passionate longing changed into a multiplying pain.

It was seen that Miss Hinda who had just entered the gate was walking towards the orphanage, but she was only alone, while at the funeral she came with Arfin. Then he approached Naz who was sitting on the terrace floor with his mother, and he sat down so that they sat facing each other with Miss Hinda.

“Naz,, Mami apologizes for Arfin's attitude to you, Mami also apologizes for Mami's discussion of the engagement, your relationship so stretched like this,, Mami,, Mami is really sorry”, said Bu Hinda with regret.

“Why is Arfin's sister like that, Mi ? what is the reason ? What's my fault? Hiks hiks”, Naz instead asked a question while sobbing.

“Only Arfin can explain it yourself as you,, and he is now on the lake, just escorted the driver to sana”, Miss Hinda informs Naz of Arfin's whereabouts as if to code Naz for him to approach Arfin to the lake.

“At the lake?”, asked Naz.

“Yes, Naz”, replied Miss Hinda.

Naz thought for a moment “Maybe now is the time for me to ask for an explanation from him, mumpung his person is here”, he murmured in his heart. “Mother, I want to go to the lake first”, Naz is about to get up from his seat.

“Dek, are you sure? We are still in mourning?”, Mother reminded Naz that they are still grieving.

“Iya Mommy, I want this problem to be resolved soon and do not want to continue to drag on, the only way yes I have to talk directly to him”, he said with confidence.

“Do we need to come?”, asked Bu Hinda.

“Not need Mami,, let me go alone, the place is close by and I'm used to go there alone,, I go first yes,,,”. He said goodbye and stood up.

Then Naz began to step out of the orphanage area to walk to the lake park which is located only 300 meters from the orphanage. He ventured and strengthened his heart to meet the man he loved so much, in hopes of finding a way out for the problems they are now facing. Although he realized there must be two choices in the solution, between their relationship will continue or will end, and it depends on the reason and explanation of Arfin.

His steps felt increasingly heavy when he was in the park area, there was a feeling of fear that enveloped him, namely the fear of accepting the reality if the romance they had been in full struggle would end. Although actually Naz really hope that their relationship will be fine back to normal as before.

The sense of dag dig dug arises when he sees someone sitting in a long iron chair that he usually sits facing the lake.”Calm yourself Rheanazwa,, rest assured all will be well”, he said in a calm heart to himself.

Now he was beside the chair, then he sat on the right side seat, because Arfin was sitting on the left side seat, so there was a distance of about half a meter between them. Naz turned his head towards Arfin who was looking straight at the lake, ”Why does he look pale ? is he sick? Or did he feel guilty for me because after that incident kept ignoring me and afraid to meet me?”, Naz asked in his heart.

“Sorry…. “. One word was suddenly thrown Arfin who then bowed his head without looking at Naz.

“Sorry for what? Sorry for which one?”, asked Naz with a straight forward look.

“Sorry for everything,, “, Arfin said as he lowered his head.

Naz sighed for a moment, “Then what about the fate of our next relationship? Will it continue like this? Never mind to meet, to communicate was never at all ”, said Naz began to open discussion.

“As for you,,,”, he said resignedly, “I know sooner or later all this will happen”, he said again.

“What? …. What does it mean?”, Naz asked in surprise and surprise, but Arfin did not answer instead silence and kept his head down. ”Oh, what do you mean that you have planned from the beginning to play me and then leave me just like that?”, asked Naz with a trembling tone as if holding tightness in his chest.

“Pardon me...”, down.

Naz smothers his mouth because he was really surprised, and tears just fell without permission, “So right,,, all this time you just played with my feelings huh??”, naz asked sobbing, ”Then what are the meanings of all your love words, your expressions of feeling, your kindness all this time to me huh?? Is all that just a charade? Is all that just a lie huh?”, Naz questioned with the roar of tears that continued to wet his cheeks.

“I'm sorry,,, “, Arfin just apologized continuing while looking down.

“Sorry you said?,, What kind of sorry could fix everything you've done to me? What with an apology alone can restore my heart that now feels broken to pieces huh? Hiks hiks hiks”, Naz has started to get caught off guard.

“I'm really sorry”, Arfin keeps repeating the apology.

“What's wrong? Hiks, hyks, why are you doing this to me? Hix…. All this time I love you with all my heart, I love you with all my soul, I can accept your shortcomings, but why on earth would you even play with my feelings like this ? why ? Hiks hiks... Why? ”,Just as he looked towards Arfin who was sitting next to him.

“I'm sorry ,, excuse me,, this is all my fault”, said Arfin who was still down.

“Did it ever occur to you how it feels to be played by someone you already love so much??? Do you know what it's like to be hurt by someone who's always been protecting you, always there for you when you're sad and down, even if you consider it an important part of your life,,,??,,,, Sick, sick, you know? Hiks hiks,,, “,Ucap Naz which is constantly flooded with tears.

“For the past few days I have hoped that you would meet me or just contact me to explain and improve our relationship, but now, now, all that feels impossible, Naz continued to cry as he looked at the person who had kept his head down, he let out a long sigh,

“Do you know, , I never hated anyone before, and now you're the only person I hate in this world, I hate you,,,,, and,,,, and let's just say we never know each other, goodbye” said Naz who then rose from his seat and left Arfin who had just bowed.

Naz ran with such a deep pain in his heart, he ran with great disappointment because Arfin did not give him any explanation or persuade him or say anything other than an apology that kept coming from his mouth, he ran with tears that kept flooding his cheeks, he ran with hatred that began to now arise in his heart.

“I'm sorry,, forgive me Naz, forgive me my light”, he said and he dropped himself to the ground hugging his knees and shedding the tears he had been holding back.

Arfin continued to cry with a deep sense of regret, for hurting the woman he loved so much. He was unable to say a word, just an apology that kept coming from his mouth.

“Everything is over,, everything is over,,, he hates me so much, Mi,, he hates me so much,,,, ”, he told the Mami who now sits next to him, with tears flowing down his cheeks.

“Al already,,, Mami has heard everything,, you have decided this path you choose and you must be able to strengthen yourself, please,,, strengthen your heart, son,, you must be able to strengthen yourself,, Mami knows this is also very heavy for you,, Mami will always be there for you”, Bu Hinda hugs her son who looks so pitiful, to strengthen him.

While Naz who continued to run and almost reached the gate of the house, immediately greeted by the Mother, as if he knew something would happen with his favorite daughter.

Grepp ,,,, Naz immediately hugged his Mother whom he had seen from a distance earlier, “Mother,,, huaaaaaa,,, sick Mother,, sakiit..”, Naz cried in the arms of his Mother.

“Sssstttt,,, already on deck,, let's get in the car, embarrassed or seen anyone crying here,,,, it's Mr. Udin already picked up, yukk”, yukk, take Mother and they also climbed into a car that was parked in front of the gate of the home, then Mr. Udin also drove his car.

During the journey home Naz continued to cry in his Mother's arms without saying what the cause was, and Mother seemed to understand so that not many questions just continued to wipe the head of Naz only.

Arriving at home, Naz immediately ran to his room and continued his cries on the bed while lying on his stomach and banging on pillows, ”Huaaaaaaaa,,,,, huaaaaaaa,,,, you are evil,,,I hate you, I hate you, Arfin.

Mother also went into Naz's room and approached Naz who was crying on his bed, “Already,,, already Deck,, you who are patient,, who are sincere,, maybe you have not made a match,,,,, maybe you are not yet,,, already yes son,, you from the cemetery continue to cry,, later your tears can dry baby,, already yes, nak”, said Mother tried to calm Naz by rubbing his head.

“Why is he evil with me Mother, what am I wrong?? Why should she come into my life if only to hurt me, Mother.

“It's been a pity already,,,, don't cry anymore oruh yes,,, maybe it's been the way like this,,, lucky you tea know this sooner before your relationship is too far away,,, you take the lesson, son, here wake up, here Mother hug, dear”, Mother pulls the hand of Naz to wake up, and he wakes up and sits and hugs Mother.

“Honey,, Mother knows this is very heavy for you, but yes her name in fostering good relationships is dating, friendship, marriage even in brotherhood or in the family there must be a problem, there must be a problem, whether it's because of incompatibility, whether it's because of different opinions, whether it's because of selfishness, and many other things that cause it. And it depends on the way we respond and solve the problem, there are those who improve relationships, not even infrequently that even further aggravate the situation until breaking the relationship. Sometimes in life we have to make the hardest choices, as well as the problems that befall your relationship with Arfin, maybe only be solved by this path you choose, and maybe this is best for you, rather than hurting each other for longer right?”.

“Dek, just because you broke up does not mean that your world love is destroyed or decked, you are still very young, even still smelly,,, and,, let's just say this is the love of monkeys that come and go during ABG times like you, so don't be too lamented, it will make you tired yourself,,,”, etc, Mother kept trying to calm Naz.

“I have already accepted her love,, I love her, I love her, I know her well if the edges are like this, Mother,,,,huwaaaaa”, Naz continues to cry and regret.

“Listen dear,, not all of our wishes are granted by the Creator and come true, we can only plan, but cannot go beyond the destiny that has been outlined and set for us. Maybe this indicates that Arfin tea is not the right match for you, and you tea must learn sincerely so that your heart can freely accept all these facts. Think of this as an experience that provides learning in your life, so that in the future you are more careful to choose a partner for you. Now the important thing is that you focus on thinking about your school, do not have a girlfriend first, then, later if you have graduated school or even graduated from college, then you think about dating,,,, then,,, yes, but if it has come, the soul mate will come at any time, whether you or us as your parents will not be able to refuse, because of the soul mate, sustenance, or not, death was set when we were still in the womb”, Mother advised Naz to calm him down.

Naz also began to stop his crying and slowly release the embrace of his Mother, “Mother why do I know that I have broken up with him? I haven't told you anything yet?”, asked Naz with a whim.

Mother who seemed surprised to answer with stammering bricks,”It it was, right, emm, you tea from earlier cry and just now you say hate the same Arfin that,, emm,,, you know,, yes Mommy thinks it's because you guys break up”, replied Mommy then grin, “Then Arfing said anything until you nagis kejer gini?”, asked Mommy as if to divert the conversation.

”Not talking about anything, just saying Sorry to keep from me coming until I leave. let alone to give me an explanation, just look at me like he does not want to, just keep looking down,,, maybe he was tired of seeing my face,,,”, he said as he pleased.

“Maybe he tea feels guilty with you, deck, so he tea continues to look down so and does not dare to look at you”, said Mother who sounded still defending her former daughter-in-law's candidate.

“Mother keeps losing him anyway,, ?”, Naz protest.

“Not defend it,, Mother mah just guessing - guessing,,,”, Mother evasive.

"Mother, Mother, have you talked to Aunt Hinda?”, asked Naz curiously.

Mommy seems again surprised by the question Naz ,”It,, about that Mother has not spoken dear,,, uhh, you have four more hours, we should pray ashar yes,, Mother to the room first yes,, you also pray so that your feelings are calmer yes deck, “, he said who then left the room Naz.

“Mother usually if there is something hurt my feelings I like to be excited, brother Dandy or Kak Arsen aja like to deimarahi same Mother if ngerjain me and make me upset,, but how come this even looks relaxed and this calm,,,, It seems like Mother is hiding something,, like there is a suspicious hiccup from Bunda”, Naz murmured inwardly.

------ TB ----------------

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.Happy Reading .....