The Hurt

Reminiscences

I never wanted everything to happen like this. Sometimes you make me cry and annoyed. It turns out that what happened was just a falsehood you gave me. And now you leave me, and leave a million deep wounds and pains in my heart. But, what is my day. Everything is predestined by the Creator.

This story started when I was in Grade IX Junior High. It may be early to know love. But, this is the truth. At first I knew him when I was at my friend's house. At the time, he and I were just friends. But as time went on, our relationship became more and more intimate. Honestly, I want to know him even more.

It has been 1 month my days with Amat. But I'm starting to feel for him.

“no spicy, salty, bitter, or sweet taste. Whatever I do, I always remember it. Oh my God, is this what you call LOVE?” muttered. It seems that I am starting to like Amat, and I am starting to love him. But, is Amat able to understand how I feel about him? I want to express this taste. But I am ashamed because I am proud. All I can do is wait and always say’a.who knows, someday, Amat also have the same feeling as I feel.

At night, when I was sitting in my room thinking about it, my phone rang. The message sign came in, and it turned out to be from Amat. I immediately read her message.

Highly: “hai Sit, can I not?”

Siti: “hai too, can ko, would you like to ask pa?”

Highly: “but you answered honestly huh? Do you actually have cwo belom?”

Siti: “not wrong? I don't have a cwo koq yet, but it has pa?”

Extreme: “sama donk, you want to not be cwe me?”

Siti: “not wrong tuch you said that, don't joke ach Mat!”

Very: “ I'm serious Sit, honest with as time passes I start loving ma ma like you, do you have the same feeling as me Sit?”

Siti: “how well, I have to answer how?”

Extreme: “answer honestly aja koq!”

Siti: “ I have actually been a long time dear ma you Mat, but I am ashamed to tell ma you because I prestige”

Extreme: “so, now we are, dated 18, September 2011”

Glad I'm tonight, not in vain waiting for me all this time. Time is passing. I'm getting more and more affectionate with Amat. I felt comfort when I was near him. Every night after I studied, I didn't forget to send her an SMS. And when you want to sleep too, not forgetting to say the word “I love you Cimut” to me. And I immediately reply “I Love You too ayank, I will Love You Always”. Because the name Cimut is the call of his love to me.

In January-April 2012, he interned in the city of Martapura which is famous for its Diamond City nickname. I never suspected him, even though I never met him now, because it was a long distance away. But who knows? Secretly it turns out he was there starting to like a girl who he had always liked. On the night of Wednesday, March 28, 2012, my postel read. It turns out from Amat. I read the message directly.

Highly: “Cimut, age pa nih, Cimut udc maem pa blom? But Cimut do not forget to pray yes Cimut?”

Siti: “Cut abiz salat isya koq ayank, Cimut dc maem koq, iy Cimut ga forgot Skalat koq ayank, ayank ge pa?”

Very: “ayank ge confused Cimut, do not know why ayank so confused, but clearly Cimut do not be angry if ayank want to be honest ma Cimut?”

Siti: “ya Cimut trying not to get angry despite the words that ayankk to Cimut cry, ayank want to be honest about pa?”

Very: “actually Cimut, ayank here began to like other ma cwe. Ayank is also confused why this kind of taste should exist, while ayank already has a twe that always makes ayank smile, Cimut can ayankan have a girlfriend other than Cimut?”

Site: “apa ayank?! Is Cimut here less attention so ayank can like ma cwe laen?”

I stopped typing my phone keypad. I slowly took a deep breath and my tears began to wash over my cheeks. I continued it again too.

“ayank, if ayank wants to have another lover besides Cimut, it's fine. As long as we break up right now. Because I don't want someone I love to love someone else. While I'm here always waiting for him to come back!”

Siti: “already ayank, if ayank wants him, okay with a heavy heart Cimut must go even though it is difficult to forget someone we love.”

Extreme: “ayank ”have not been willing to see Cimut with others<TAG1>

Siti: “ayank, although heavy but I have no other choice, thanks everyone ayank”

Now, I'm weakened by the reality that now seems to hurt me. I didn't turn on my phone for a week because I wanted to forget it. Days pass. I don't know what I'm thinking. Not long after, my door knocked. But I seem to know that voice.

“Assalamu’alaikum. The siti? Siti?” very little words behind the door.

I also opened the door. “wa’alaikumussalam. Uh, you're Mat. What's going on coming here? What is the need?” I'm so confused why he came here.

“eng. There is nothing, just want to go to your house. Can I come to your house, Sit?” ask Amat.

I also let him in. “by kok. please come in, Mat.”

“Sit, my arrival here is not just maen doang kok. there is another purpose. I want to repeat my happy times with you, Sit. Honestly, I have a hard time forgetting you.” Ujar Amat's.

“aku not wrong with this? Not the first reason you want to break up because there are girls you like. Why do you want to reverse it now? Don't joke ah, Mat!” my spoken.

“iya, I'm sorry. It feels different, Sit. Would you like to re-tie me again?” clearly Amat.

“aduh, how ya, Mat? Not that I don't want to, because when you say that, it hurts so much, Mat”

“well, no papa, Sit. If you don't want to, I understand how it feels. Uh, I think I should go home, because tomorrow I'm still an intern.” Clearly very again.

“yah, no papa, thanks for coming to my house. Be careful on the road huh?” I said.

I'm confused as to what to answer. Even though I still love, but he just want to say that to me.yes, I think what's wrong if I give hope a second time. Later that night, I sent him a SMS.

Siti: “malem, sorry to interrupt when you said about that this afternoon, pa you seriously said that?”

Amateur: “iya. I'm serious koq. Why blame me for saying that?”

Siti: “enggak koq. Yeah, well, I'm confused. Should I give you another chance? But this can't lie, I still love you. What's wrong if you repeat everything from the beginning again.”

Highly: “thank you for the chance. I try to SETIA ma Cimut dech. Dach late at night, time Cimut bobo huh? Tomorrow I have to school”

Site: “oke dech ayank”

That night it felt like the long-lost happiness was back. But I wish I wouldn't lose it. However, is this just a mere show of love to me? A year passed with him. When I went to high school, I didn't feel any change from him at first. Until I realized he had changed. And 1 month 2 days after my birthday yesterday 2013, she had no news. I don't know where he is. I was so worried that I couldn't close my eyes, because I was afraid of losing her again. To the reality that must answer my worry. The cold night seemed to reveal the feeling of my heart that began to fade, the affection because he was lost without news. Until one day the sound of my phone turns out there is a new number calling. I was confused I finally picked up, and heard her voice.

“my dear darling, forgive me for a long time for not giving you news. Looks like our relationship has to break up. Enough to be here our story. I hope, you're happy with another.” I haven't answered, it's been disconnected.

When I heard his words to me like a knife that had cut my heart. Oh my God, is this as big as my sin until the one I love has to leave again? Now there are only sweet memories with you.

Tonight is so dark. Too thick as my gray heart. Unending sadness always envelops. Remembering memories that once made me happy. But now all memories remain. No more laughter. Now I'm just going through the days without you. Get used together to get through the day with all circumstances. Do you feel the same way I feel right now, Matt? But I believe that you are an unforgettable memory. Thank you for the love and affection you have given me. Let me keep it for the rest of my life.

However, I realize. Now, it turns out that when I was sad, there was still my family who always loved me. Now I'll forget you because you and I are just memories. And I try to be the best and I am sure that I can achieve my goals despite the past that once made my spirit dim. I'm without you, I'm sure I can.