The Hurt

My imagination has been Happy

Dusk passes very quickly to the rain stubs that are even more heavy. The lightning that immediately struck before the lightning like a camera woke up my daydream that could count for more than ten minutes. That long enough time contained a delusion about that perfect figure.

I am a favorite SMK student in my area, I used to be called Risa even though my real name was on the Risma Ersa Al Dzikra deed.

“learn just to be a smart child”

“you want to learn? How tumben?”

“ya. It's better than I'm galau”

“eh, your base miss galau”

“yee... biarin, cool times!”

While ignoring brother's ridicule, I started to open up the textbooks that looked outdated, well maybe because they weren't opened often.

The night changed, late at night was also welcomed. The eyes were no longer friendly to the books. I decided to go to sleep, lay down tired and intended to completely close my eyes.

“heh eyes, when did you start to shut? it's late at night. Heh brain, what are you thinking? Get some rest, I'm tired!” I muttered that night who couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking about something. Anything on? I don't think it's something but it's you. The actor of my life who was always perfect in my mind, always perfect in my view.

“ah, he's just my delusion. It's not worth it I keep this as”. Whether or not I tried to close my eyes at that time, afraid of bad luck and late to go to school.

Again that morning will be preceded by those damn chickens. It turns out that the spirit of waking up in the morning is still inferior to the chicken.

“fry only times is it chicken?” high level of emotion

“why are you? Morning ngomel?” sahut brother

“ah, damn brother that noisy chicken!”

“hello? It's late, wake up!!” how painful the tabokan from big brother back then, made me impatient to reply.

The activity continued, now I leave school earlier than usual. Like there was a desire that moved me to get to school faster. Either because of the spirit of learning or there is another desire. His smile, too sweet to lie this morning. His eyes, it was too dear to pass him by as I crossed paths with him. She's she? “perfect” I said softly so that he can not realize. “ah delusion, will be only a delusion” until the word is forgotten.

Half-ten, fifteen-minute breaks are used by most SMK residents to save. Saving in the canteen exactly. I also did not escape the crowd, snack with friends. They are best friends, Gia, Diah, and Ruri. My best friend likes my grief even though I feel more like it. They are my place of excitement.

“stop!” hysterical scream

“why the hell, already rich lu” police

“good afternoon mbak, can you see the letters?”

“letter saya ya sir? Al-Ikhlas? Or letter Yes’sin?”

“eh, digress you guys, what's up sa?”

“ada... ah biasah the cause of galau”.

“ow her, uh one perfect delusion it”

“husstt!! diems. Really males!”

I was a hypocrite, but they understood what I was feeling. Comforting me agara I still look cheerful it has become their staple food. You mean so much to me, that sometimes I can no longer repay your kindness.

“Risa!” call someone, like I memorized out of my head with that voice. The wise voice that I so much later in his hand.

“Iya, what's up?”

“ada business, males call you without cause”

“oh, why?”

“your house how many children?”

“my house is not a zoo boy!”

“ow yes forgot, yasudah first yes?”

“ya!”

Things like that often make me imagine something unnatural. How could such a perfect guy see people like me. It's still in a running position and with confidence I'm daydreaming. Harmful right?.

The pile of admiration that if written would probably be this painful novel like I could not bear it. Imagine how heartbroken it is, when you have to turn your face without acknowledging, hypocrites are not spared anymore. Until sometimes I'm really tired of hiding all this. No different I planted a cactus in the vast psir field in my heart. Impaled, the delusion is a Ruma, more precisely ‘Ruma Kama Diky’.How could I have had to change schools, it was stupid just because of the excessive admiration with my schoolmates. I will not finish digging when there is no impingement like this.

“morning nglamun again yo, galau sa?”

“no, this time more severe”

“apa?! How can?”

“not worth me long dustai this morning”

As hard as I hold back, those eyes that can not be.Sudang hugging my best friend Gia, I stared at the corner of the favorite place they both. Ruma and Eri, my imaginary boyfriend and the owner of the Ruma's heart.

“if I don't experience, but I feel”

“I don't want to feel”

“but this must be a friend come feel”

Daydream of their kindness, which momentarily removed my flowing tiredness. I am like a dreamy miss who does not know the time, place, and atmosphere.

The day continues as usual, but things have been different lately. I no longer deserve to be called miss seagrass, because they my best friends know that I'm busy. This is just part of a strategy for me to really be able to use my spare time for more useful things. Although sometimes the smile was, the smile of a Ruma was still able to make me fly back to the imaginary world. I am grateful that I have been able to reduce my bad habits.

Indonesian Language Lessons begin. At that time we got the task to create poetry, without provision whether it wants to be real or imagination alone.

“Risa, you're done?”

“already, bu”

“ready to advance?”

“oh, yes mom I'm ready!”

In the silence of this twilight

I'm still quiet for you

In the dark tonight

I still fantasize about you

About the admiration in that silence

The day never gets fixed

In the late night

Send that miss greeting to you

To be carried away with the wind

After all reciting his poetry each, the lesson hours were over. I rushed home so as not to meet with Ruma.

“kok rush? “tegur ruma while chasing me

“iya, no elephants want to give birth!”

“oh, still elephant cattle?”

“iya.. His name is, want to see?”

“fucking lu!”

Don't we? Though I intend to avoid why even be together like gini? I'm not good with Eri.

I see the relationship getting closer. They're a matchmaker, huh?, or Eri just borrowed my soul mate to be his guy. I don't know if it's all the destiny of the Almighty. I began to forget that the feeling was mere admiration, but it became like this.

One week passed, the national exam of SMK began to close. I'm not so worried because I've been preparing for it a long time ago. My gaze was fixed on a piece of paper folded in my package book. Quickly I read it.

Risa.

I'm still waiting for that fate

I was with him too

It's really painful

But this is life, and I don't want you to waste it

Nor would I have avoided it, if fate had

Will unify, the spirit of the joy of a bright day welcomes our beautiful smile

It was unexpected that it was the answer from my poem back then. How'd he know? Did he hear?.

Thanks to the letter, I woke up from my dream. He cares about me and that's more than enough for me.

“now rarely confused?” Ruri asked like a sneaker.

“ow yes dong, say no to galau!”

“haha, sip. Uh, got your regards”

“from?”

“from niko friend next door”

“already aja”

Niko's classmate next door, ever since the greeting she's been coming over to me. Come as an angel to me, and the only guy who can make me smile. Until one day at the school park he was acting differently.

“sa.. I'm not the type of person who likes to be at length”

“emang why?” still confused by Nico's words

“I like you!” answer firmly

“eh really, don't joke too much!”

“ini really!” niko once again

I could say nothing more, and the conversation went silent.

The awkwardness began to feel, Niko more often avoided me. I can't do much either because I don't have any feelings for Niko. The national exam has passed, and this time it is the graduation announcement. I don't know what kind of results I got, I really can't predict. Not long after I knew the results. The happy cheers of my friends are quite representative of the happiness of all of us because of the satisfactory results.

“welcome ya” Ruma said to me

“iya your value is also good” I replied spontaneously

Again Ruma was present, how I was not nervous that time. Ruma will continue to college which is certainly the same as Eri. Really miss the thing I feel.

I chose a college that was a bit far away from Ruma. Looking for a new world out there. Many hope also find a better destiny and can get out of the shackles of the past. A few months later, I never heard from a ruma again. That instant my phone rang and I picked it up immediately.

“hallo too, who is it?” I seem to know her by her broom voice

“Ruma, how are you doing?” answer and continue to ask

“ow you, reportedly still elephant” cattle

“hahhaha. inget aja you”.

The conversation lasted about half an hour. He also accidentally talked that he would soon be engaged to Eri, until I wanted to throw my phone at that time. Ruma, is he my soul mate or not? My optimism melted, I'm not sure anymore that Eri just borrowed my soul mate. Never mind I have to be really sincere, anyway they are also new to fiancee. If indeed Ruma my soul mate he will also return, as his words at that time. “I also will not avoid if someday fate will unite” really that I can not forget.

If that fantasy had indeed been happy with the others, I would not have expected much more to be with him. Wasn't I just admiring? I don't know, what's gonna happen. I also want to be happy when the destiny line of the delusion is happy with others. He's with himself.