The Hurt

The Heart You Sick

“Then, on 15-11-2012 I was very happy after my long wait finally came to fruition. Because what I've been dreaming of has come true. Well, exactly she accepted my love after I revealed it, how happy I was then. Because of the love that I have had for over a year and the woman that I have been craving for, I have returned my love.

Call it Zizi her name, the woman I loved a long time ago when I first met. Actually I have known him since long ago, but I did not dare to express my feelings at that time. “Yes because he still had a guy back then and he seemed to love him very much. But that's okay, because love and love don't have to have what I thought. Because I don't want to be a destroyer of other people's relationships, so my intention is enough to love and admire it in my heart. After a long wait, she broke up with her boyfriend and we were reunited.

I was in a relationship with Zizi when I was still running my college studies in the first semester precisely, which I was sad when I was dating and meeting, why we were separated by distance, why, because Zizi was studying in a different City, so yes forced me and him to establish a long distance relationship or LDR. It's not important I can still communicate well and importantly trust each other.

Day after day, month after month, even to the turn of the year, we lived happily this relationship, maybe there is almost no problem that is very crucial, because our communication is very well established, because our communication is very good, sometimes during holidays I take time to play to the city where he went to college, we live it very well.

I do not feel my relationship with Zizi has been running for 4 and a half years, memories after memories may have been difficult to forget, from the frequent holidays together, culinary, watching and others, etc, in fact, never forgotten until now is when the money is only 20 thousand for both of us to eat tomorrow, because we both run out of money at that time, because we both run out of money, even he had a chance to shed tears when I did not ask for it, “ini for all of you, I easily”. It is very ironic because life wanders in the city. Precisely when our relationship is only 2 years running, we all capture together moments of beautiful, sad, difficult, happy and happy without being missed.

But the more ahead of my long-term relationship, the longer it is, the more awkward it is. Not that the more mature face problems or problems that come, but the more trivial he faces them.

Am I confused? Why did he change, unlike the beginning of time, there was always news, honestly who I was going with, I always believed him, and vice versa.

But now it's like turning 80 degrees.

I tried to throw away my negative thoughts at that time, I tried to understand maybe because of boredom, with a state that had always been LDR or less always there, he said, I've always tried not to make him feel that way, but the LDR as much as I try there must be a shortage. And it turns out true my guess, he changed not because of the boredom of LDR that we lived all this time, but there was a third person who entered his life. That I know when I intend to play to the City where he went to college, the beginning of my arrival he was just mediocre, yes maybe because I often go back and forth to the City he went to college, but at that moment he looked so different that he didn't expect me to come.

And right, when I was about to leave to go back to the City where I went to college, she greeted him with a trivial just mediocre, mediocre, it's not like when I go home he's always sad because I live again. This time only two words came out of his mouth. “Be careful on the road, sorry I can't go to Terminal, my head hurts to rest first”. Those are the words he said. “Ya automatically I know myself, I told him to rest at his boarding house, as a result of his boarding friends who drove me to the Terminal. Because I often play so many friends who are familiar with me.

On the trip to Terminal I confided in all the changes in the nature of Zizi lately, and accidentally or not his boarding friend Zizi any story that Zizi did lately, that he was close to a guy.

There was a sense of awkwardness that I felt at that time, immediately my instincts wanted to go back to the cost to see the situation, he said, it turns out that right at the cost he did not exist and it turns out Zizi was meeting a guy who had been close to him at his friend's boarding place.

How painless, heartbroken this was, what I felt at that time, when I saw with my own eyes the person I truly loved being alone with others.

He said headaches, rest, it wasn't what he felt but a flowery heart would meet again with new stuff, and I'm an old thing that would be ready to be thrown away.

And from that moment on he admitted everything, that all this time he had been close and almost very comfortable with the man of his dreams, it turns out they had long been secretly living it.

It turns out that I have always been lied to, what should I do, besides I really love him, but on the other hand he has destroyed my trust and loyalty that I have been keeping.

“But, yes, maybe all this is his way, and the fate of my destiny that has happened, I can only learn to sincerely let go, he said, sincerely accept the situation of losing people who are always there every day for almost 5 years. But with just a few months he got my replacement easily and preferred it without seeing such a long struggle and sacrifice.

I refreshed this feeling, for me there is nothing wasted and time wasted when time alone with you even though in the end like this, I made all of that experience and a lesson for my life ahead.

“Cleaned paper will not return to perfection if it has been torn, although put together again will still leave the former”.

“The far ones always make kangen, will lose to the close ones but there is always”. May you be happy with your choice now, and thank you for teaching me the meaning of such deep patience.