The Hurt

My sadness

I sat in class. Silence as usual. Staring one by one friends who are busy chatting with pseudo stares. Usually I, Andika, Ifan, and Rafli will tell you about things that are funny, romantic, or horror. But I chose silence. Be a good listener for now.

“This is why Rizky?” asked Andika who sat in front of me with Ifan. His voice broke the atmosphere from earlier and seemed to not care about me.

“Maybe it's because of that Uzzy? Aye right?” chirps Rafli sitting next to me. They laugh. Laughing happily of course. Happy while my heart mourns. Our habit of the four of us: comforting one of our grieving friends. For example, like this.

“You guys! I don't want to be teased!” I said while trying to look away.

“Who wants to tempt you? Don't think about that guy again!” Rafli Suggestions.

“NGGAK CAN!” reply while sobbing. Andika sings, and is followed by the others. Obviously, they were trying to cheer me up.

Even if you are not mine, my heart is still for you

Millions of choices by my side, won't replace you

Even if the storm hits, my love will not escape

Give it a chance, to prove it

I can be the best and still be the best…

I'll wait, although I have a long wait

I'll stay faithful waiting for you, I know you're just for me

Let my time run out of this wait

Until you believe how great, my love for you

I'm still waiting..

Not feeling, my tears are flowing. As hard as a waterfall. They look at me pity. “I want to forget him..” I said. “I don't want to keep thinking.” I said that's still sobbing.

“First Love is impossible to forget.” Rafli. That's always what's coming from their lips! I hate! Until I got tired of hearing it. “The only way you can do this is, find someone who can make you fall in love!” Rafli. Nope! I'm not going to do that silly thing! Let this hurt! It hurts me, right? Not him, you, us, them, or Obama though, right?

Break arrived. I spent my time in class. Accompanied by the cold shadow of my body's emptiness. My face was wet with tears flowing. Because of this problem, I became a whiny girl! Ahh, not my nature! Long-spirited. Sylvi, my best friend came and sat beside me.

“Do not be sad yes.” Her speech.

“Sylvi, I am not Destroyer..” isakku. I hit my hand on the table. “ARGGHHH!” I shouted as loud as possible. Angry, angry, and disappointed of course.

“Ya Rizky, I know that. Patience, baby, isn't that a Problem Solver risk? The important thing is that you are patient and steadfast. When the time comes, all this will come back as usual and he definitely knows kok.” Answer Sylvi. I rested my head on her shoulder, a sign of my gratitude to her. “Stay spirit yes. Don't be sad continue dong. Don't you make it like that. Later you can be depressed, even you can Stress.”

Tomorrow as usual: sitting pensively on my bench! Lamenting how painful this life is. Back in Elementary School, I was known as the Problem Solver of Zainuddin's son. Often praised, often hated. And sometimes, often underestimated by some people. In fact, Problem Solver is not an easy job. Not only solve problems, but also have to face risks. The biggest risk is HATED! No wonder I hate so much. Never also hated the same school children, because I solve the problem of upperclassmen who are being hated by children, once labeled as a regulator, labeled as DESTROYER, and other slander. That is, which causes many Problem Solvers to stop in the middle of the road. The number is not up to 10 million people. Not as many as the gamers. Including myself will be planning on quitting the job of helping this person. Because I'm tired of being called a DESTROYER. I have had frequent mental disorders. And this Uzzy thing is the last thing I'm gonna solve. The longer I became such a whiny girl. Though I never cry because of things that are not clear like gini. Not clear? I can easily say that this is not clear. The old disease of Problem Solvers appears: DEPRESSION!

I feel like I'm more different than usual. Passive, silent, brooding. Never went out of the house. No more stories with Andika, Rafli, or Ifan. Not a problem solver anymore. Rarely eat. Not have passion. Bosenans. And that's what affects me a lot. To the point that everyone complained to me about this.

“You are so seh?”

“Kok to be a bracket?”

“Why didn't you like the old days?”

“You're so passive gini anyway?”

“Why do you cry anyway?”

“Kok cuek?”

And so many questions were asked of them. I kept quiet and responded coldly to this.

My sadness is endless. Continuously come and change. My tears were also incessantly sliding from my eyelids. I can only write this sadness in a short story. Because there can't be anyone who understands. So I better write it. Let it be, there are people who say, “Seenaknya just scribble or grunt people in the short story! Less work? Or do not dare to directly talk to the same person?” O Allah. If you say less work, it’s okay I accept. But if you say you do not dare to talk directly? That's not my nature! I'm not sneaky. It's free if I explain the problem as high as the himalayas and as wide as the universe or whatever it is he won't understand. Just soak! That's the best thing I can do right now. Maybe it hurt the heart? But that's all I can do. Maybe, Everything Gonna be Okay.

I walked right in front of Uzzy which I didn't even notice. I brought a glass plate that I would bring to the office. But something I didn't expect..

BRUCK!!!

Uzzy nudged my tiny body firmly and I ended up slipping and the glass plate I brought hit my left arm. The wound was quite wide and shed a lot of blood. Sylvi immediately came and helped me to stand up.

“Astaghfirullah Rizky! You're okay, right? Let's get you to BK!” exclaim Sylvi.

“What is this?” ask Bu Dian, my BK class teacher. “Tadi Rizky brought a plate and was nudged by someone. And one of those broken plates hit his arm.” Sylvi Obviously.

“Yes Allah, the width of the wound. Immediately we take it to puskesmas.” Ms. Dian's orders.

Finally, I was taken to the puskesmas. The dishes were cleaned by the school janitor. While Uzzy, just cute and looking at me sharp.

I stared at the stitch wound wrapped in a white bandage. Sick anyway. But the pain is not as painful as my sadness. Although I was injured like anything, disabled like anything, but all that is not as painful as the sadness that I have experienced lately. I don't know what mode Uzzy's doing. Maybe revenge? Let it be, it's a risk. After all, he won't cry me, right? At school, Sylvi was constantly asking me about my situation.

“Eh Uzzy, you do not have a heart and do not know yourself?” sylvi said. “You don't know what? Rizky is not a DESTROYER! You are the one who misunderstood! Uh, now use the Rizky nyelakain mode like that!” Snap Sylvi.

“So? It important? What do I think?” ask Uzzy -_-

“Basic! You are the guy who.”

“Enough Sylvi! Enough!” I cut his words. “I was injured in an accident! It's purely because of my own carelessness. Do not connect with the same problem DESTROYER! We better get out of here!” I said so fed up.

“What are you doing anyway? I thought you made him take him to BK You even bought him. I believe you let Uzzy realize you don't even want to. You also if you usually see blood will roar unclear like terrorists who are arrested by the police. Why are you this?” ask Sylvi.

“You helped me but I don't think this is the way. He even misunderstood. Okay, forget about Uzzy. I'm sick of.” Reply lazily. Lazy slack two levels of lazy.

It's 12:00 and it means time to rest. The difference this time, I was accompanied by Sylvi who was apples with Rafli (dating means). I'm opening up Facebook. And I can't believe Uzzy is online, he's updating his status.

Ruzzy Septian Radityo's

*Evil Laugh

God, do you know who this status is for? It obviously did me! Not to be outdone, I also updated the status. Replies means.

Lilyana Rizky Syafira's

O Allah, bless me and wake him up :’)

Day by day passed. And Uzzy hates me even more. I don't know why, I thought about it tonight. I wonder why he hates me? Never mind, no need to think about him anymore. The important thing is that I don't hate him. I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Memories of Uzzy. And there's no way I'm forgetting that, not as fast as turning the pages of a book. I stared at the window. The rain this time was so heavy accompanied by lightning that struck. It was so sad, so sad that my heart felt it too. I played Greatest Day by Take That, an English boy band. I looked up at the song and was stunned.

I saw the wound that was still wrapped in the bandage. I still remember what happened 2 days ago. The song changes to the next song. Vanilla Twilight from Owl City, which is one of my favorite songs and favorite song Uzzy. That song made me dig up more and more of my memories of Uzzy. Makes me remember him more.

The stars lean down to kiss you,

And I lie awake and miss you.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

‘Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly,

But I’ll miss your arms around me.

I’d send a postcard to you dear,

‘Cause I wish you were here.

Hearing the lyrics, “Cause I wish you were here” made me cry. I remember that Kevin and I were studying this song. Carry the lyrics of the song while playing the song as well. And then Uzzy came along, singing the lyrics,

“Cause I wish you were here”

I could only hear Uzzy singing in a voice that made me rustle like the wind. Usually, I just hear him mumble. I was so moved to remember that incident.

I’ll watch the night turn light blue.

But it’s not the same without you,

Because it takes two to whisper quietly,

The silence isn’t so bad,

Till I look at my hands and feel sad,

‘Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where you're fit perfectly.

I’ll find repose in new ways,

Though I haven’t slept in two days, but,

‘Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.

But drenched in Vanilla twilight,

I’ll sit on the front porch all night,

Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.

“I don’t feel so alone” , it's not the voice of Adam Young, the Owl City vocalist despite singing the same lyrics. “I don’t feel so alone.” Deuteronomy. I slowly turned to the source of the voice. It turned out that Uzzy was standing in the doorway of my room that was opening. “I don’t feel so alone.” Deuteronomy once again while looking at me with a meaningful look. “As many times as I blink I’ think of you.. tonight.”.

“I’ll think of you tight.”

Uzzy continued the song. Which is the culmination of that song and the one I like the most. Sylvi was standing behind Uzzy's back.

When violet eyes get brighter,

And heavy wings grow lighter,

I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again.

And I’ll forget the world that I know,

But I swear I won’t forget you,

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,

I’d whisper in your ear,

Oh darling I wish you were here.

“Uzzy?” my many. How could he be here and look at me crying like this? All this is wrong with rain.

“Yes, I'm here.” he said, and slowly entered my room. “I'm sorry Rizky, I just want you to change. Not that I want to hate you, but I just want you to not have that alay and pretentious nature.” The answer. At that moment I mumbled.

“So all this time?” I'm trying to string the words together, “So that's been your goal all along? Changing that trait is not as fast as turning the pages of a book. Change my nature but this is also not the way!” not noticeably, a grain of tears fell from my eyelids. Disappointed, that's for sure!

“I'm sorry.” groaned once again

“Quite, I'd better apologize. So my debt is paid off!” timpal.

“So, you don't want to excuse me?” ask her with a scared face. “Who said?” I smiled and immediately wiped my tears. “Do not repeat again yes.” I explained to him. Uzzy looked at me with a happy smile. Sylvi is too. I cuddled. With them. My sorrow the day before, was instantly erased by tonight. When people I love are near me and understand how I feel. Uzzy, I LOVE YOU !!