The Hurt

The Late Word

As usual, my mother's laughing voice rang out loud in her ears. I also began to feel uncomfortable with fading concentration. For a moment I thought, “What is the thrill of a soap opera on television? Does the story always end the same as the marriage or death of the main character?” muttered to myself. However, I was reminded of a biological task that I had not completed tonight. I tried to focus my eyes on the task and turn off my ear canal from seductive noises, including my mother's laughing voice. 😀

I've been sitting at the study table for almost an hour tonight. Many biology class IX books were scattered all over my desk. In addition, the sleepy atmosphere began to hit but behind it I smiled a little satisfied because my biological task was finished.

“Alhamdulillah, it's done..” I said inwardly.

“Aldi..!” Call my mom on high bass

“Iya ma'am, What is it?” Answer me while tidying up the messy book on the study table

“This is your phone sms.” Said Mother.

“Shortly bu.” I answered while walking towards the family room

I picked up my phone that was on top of a small closet not far from where Mom was watching television. There are 2 incoming messages on my phone, after I opened it turns out the first text from Indosat and the second text is just a number doang. I deleted the first text without reading it.

“Sorry to disturb, PR biology is what page?” Ask someone who has a GJ number on my phone.

“Ohh.., the page 32-24.” I replied by sending a message back to that number.

“Ealaaahh, Yes already. Thanks yes.” Reply then.

“Iya, equally. But whose number is this.?” Ask wonder.

“It's me, Zahra.” Brief Answer.

I also did not reply to the text after that because I was very sleepy and did not pay attention to the text that entered my phone.

At school as usual, I met Zahra a lot. We know we are a class. But I used to talk to him a lot, so there was never a special atmosphere between me and him. Even so I can't lie to myself if I admire him. Moreover, she is a smart, diligent girl and a Chairwoman of Osis in my school. But then again I never thought of being someone special to him.

The story began to change, since Zahra texted me that night, we so often text every night. First, we asked each other about the lesson, but over time we became addicted and began to discuss outside the subject matter. Such as Hobbies, Friends, Likes Etc. Anyway can be said to be friendly if we text, even though it has not been so. 😀

Four months passed, even the love for Zahra could not be contained by this heart. I want to tell him the truth. Just 4 words that might have been stuck in my esophagus for too long. “I LIKE YOU ZAHRA”. That's a sentence I haven't said to him in the end.

The time of school separation has arrived, my school held a camp to give the best memories for the students of class IX. I thought maybe at the camp that I would be able to express my feelings to Zahra who had been very squeeze because I was too long in the heart.

My physical and mental preparation was finished, my tongue was ready to launch all the beautiful words just for him, Zahra. I hurried to meet Zahra who was at the camp secretariat post. Step by step I step, although it is not yet clear what I will get from him. But I'm sure, I should try to tell him that.

The last step and I have been at the camp secretariat post. The atmosphere was quite supportive, not many people were there. Without a second thought I headed straight to where Zahra was sitting.

“Zahra.” I started opening the talk.

“Oh yes, what is Al?” Zahra replied with a sweet smile.

“Ehhhh.. Can I talk to you for a minute?” I said a little nervous.

“Emang want to talk what?” He said with a little wonder.

This time I really can't say anything. My tongue seemed to have sunk into a cement dough that was quickly dry and hardened. While in my confusion, Zahra was still waiting for what I would talk to her about. His forehead slightly shriveled the sign that he was really curious.

“Heehh... Aldi! How to daydream?” Zahra said while patting my left hand.

“Oh yes-yes, Sorry.” I regained consciousness.

“So, What do you want to say?” Asked him with a face filled with curiosity.

“Ngg...ggaak so deh. Next time aj”. Answer me in a soft tone.

“Then I return first to the tent.” I turned my back and was ready to walk away

“Oh. Greetings to Ahmad yes.” Answer me.

On the way to the tent, I was still contemplating what happened a few minutes ago. A thousand jeers from within myself sounded very noisy. Right and wrong if I have to admit that I don't have a winning mentality, a winning mentality in the heart of the woman I love.

In my reflection, I was slightly aware of the last sentence that Zahra had spoken to me earlier. Tucked question mark why he send greetings to Ahmad? Is that just a normal greeting or something? Is there a connection between them?.

I had not finished concluding my answer when the figure of the man shocked me.

“Woy.. What's up Al?” Maulana said while holding my arm.

“Nothing.” My answer is not excited.

“Do you be honest? What's up?.” Maulana.

“Do you know the relationship between Zahra and Ahmad?” Ask him.

“Hmmm.. I know you like to Zahra, Al. You've also told me a lot about your race. But now Zahra is the same Ahmad.” Maulana was clear to me.

“So, my guess is right. I'm too late.” I said in a soft tone while holding the breath that began to falter.

“Already, Take the silver lining. After all the soul mate was already arranged by Him.” Maulana said trying to encourage me.

“But...” I want to refute it, But Maulana immediately cut my conversation.

“Not necessary but. Even if you refute my words earlier, it doesn't help. It won't change the situation. You will be affected by anger. Now let's go back to the tent, let's take a break. Later in the afternoon the campground activity has started.” Maulana said, filled with patience, reminding me.

“Makasih” My answer is short.

The night breeze was soothing. Moreover, accompanied by the music of dangdut koplo that sounded very loud along with the cheers of the campers. The field that had been like a barren desert had been filled by tens or even hundreds of people. In front of them stood a magnificent stage for the performance of art tonight. I did not attend the event, I just stayed in the tent and only served to guard my group tent. Disappointment still covers my body and soul. Although perhaps the explanation of Maulana is quite clear that Zahra has been in a relationship with Ahmad, but I still can not forgive myself. About all the decisions I made it turns out that no one freed this heart. The choice to shut up for love has had an impact on a regret that is priceless. However, I remember that it was all a risk. There is no decision that has no risk, everyone has it. Only courage can minimize that risk. And right, just courage.

It was not felt that the moon began to rise and the watch on the hand had formed a 90-degree angle on the short needle pointing at the number 9. I started to stop talking to myself. I finally came to my conclusion. Everything that is late must be behind him there is something right to get. That's a sentence I might be able to develop in the future. And for you Zahra, I hope you are happy with Ahmad.