Love Me Because of God

Ku Titip Love At The End of Dusk

The silence of the night grew quieter, when the clanking of the wall clock seemed to flow without a tone. A gust of wind blew the cold, creeping awakened the figure of the woman lying down. Mila's.

“Subhaanallah”, says Mila. Then take ablution and immediately do the evening prayer.

With me he turned to God, praying and pleading with Him. Dropped tears instantly from the hopeful crevices of the eyes. Many times he asked for forgiveness, asking for guidance and guidance from Him.

“Yes Allah, the Most Forgiving, will You forgive me all the sins I have committed? Many times the servant belies You, denies You, and turns away from You. Servants are small in front of you. Even if the servant asks for forgiveness a thousand times, it is not enough to atone for all the sins of the servant. Only I am sure that You love Your servant without exception. Servants are not only small, Rabb, but also weak. Servants are helpless without you. What I do is free without Your Ridha. O God Almighty of Destiny, place the servant in a space filled with Your Light. If the servant is in love, then do not let the servant love the creature more than the servant loves You. Destine the servant with the soul mate that You truly choose. Who is able to bring our household into the happy world and the hereafter later. Aamiin.”

The next day his meeting with Ramlan his parents' choice took place. This is the first time Mila has undergone ta’aruf. After welcoming Ramlan and the family, Mila rushed to the kitchen to prepare a banquet, followed by her mother.

“Where is Ndok? You fit?” ask mother.

“Whatever and whoever the choice of mother and father, suitable only. But if asked if it really fits or not, Mila does not know”, he said

smilingly.

“Ya let's not stay in the kitchen for long!”

“Iya Bu.”

Moments later Milapun headed to the living room with food and drinks that he had prepared to entertain Ramlan and his family.

“Subhanallah beautiful and graceful once you Ndok!” said Umi Aminah (Mother Ramlan) to Mila.

“Thank you Umi”, Mila replied kindly, “Please drink!” continued Mila.

Ramlan who came with his mother and uncle looked nervous. The uncle representing his late father conveyed the meaning of their arrival to the Mila family.

“Nak Mila, introduce this Ramlan. Ramlan, it's Mila. Although Ramlan had never met and known son Mila before. But with the intention because of God, we came before the family of Mr. Imran, besides merely wanting to be in touch also intends to propose Nak Mila. Would you and your family accept our proposal to your daughter?”

“The decision is in Mila's hands. How's Ndok?” the father said to Mila.

“God willing, with the intention of worshiping God, Mila received Mas Ramlan's proposal and famili”, he replied.

A happy hue was instantly visible on their faces. Especially the father and mother of Mila, also Umi Aminah. Umi Aminah then pulled the ring on Mila's ring finger. Followed by greeting “Alhamdulillah” from them.

A week later, the wedding and the wedding party took place. The event took place with wisdom. Relatives, close relatives, the Umi Aminah study assembly, attended the event and congratulated the two brides. The bride looks very beautiful with a white wedding dress and a hijab that covers her head. Compatible with the groom who is also dressed in matching colors. In Mila's heart muttered.

“Aalhamdulillah's. Thank you, O God, You have brought the servant to the soul mate of the servant. With the solemn, kind, and handsome men who were currently sitting beside the servant. On Thy pleasure, the servant falls in love with Him. After a long wait, now you grant me this beautiful feeling. May the beauty of this taste will always bring blessings, not vice versa. Thank you for all your blessings and gifts, O God.”

At night, they were placed in the same room. Room where they will experience the story and knit love in it.

“You should sleep first Mila! I'm not sleepy yet.”

“Isn't Mas also tired?”

“Iya, but I don't want to sleep yet.”

“Ya already then Mas just lay down first!”

“Not Mil, you just sleep first! I want to breathe air outside”, Ramlan also moved from the room.

Meanwhile Mila looked astonished at her husband's attitude. Because so tired, Milapun finally fell asleep. Mila's astonishment grew when she found her husband almost every night not wanting to sleep in one bed with her, but on the sofa.

One month later Ramlan bought a house located not far from the residence of Umi Aminah.

“Umi, we say yes”, Mila told Umi.

“Iya Ndok, you guys be careful there. Sorry Umi can't

usher. God willing after the study is finished Umi to stop by.”

“Iya Umi, it's okay. Umi be careful yes.”

“Oh yes a minute! Umi there's something for you.”

Umi then moved and came back with a parcel.

“Thank you Umi!” said Mila.

“Thank you Umi. Then we say yes”, said Ramlan.

“Asalamualaikum Umi”, Mila said hello while kissing Umi's hand.

“Waalaikumsalam”, Umi replied.

“Asalamualaikum Umi”, Ramlan kisses his mother's hand.

Arriving at their new home.

“Alhamdulillah, finally we are not dependent on Umi anymore huh

Mas's? Hopefully in this house, what we both do is always blessed by Allah SWT”, said Mila.

“Aamiin. Oh yes Mila, this is your room.”

“Loh?” Mila surprised and surprised, “Kok room Mila Mas? Isn't it our two rooms?” hatch Mila.

“No. My room is that!” while pointing towards the front room of Mila's.

“What the hell is Mas really? Please explain! Don't be like this!” lirih Mila's.

“I'll explain later if the time is right. You better pray asar now! I have not prayed asar, right?” Ramlan then moved from Mila's room while saying, “Asalamualaikum.”

“Waalaikumsalam”, Mila lirih replied.

Until one night, Mila found her husband was wanting to perform night prayers. Mila rushed to take ablution. Ramlan who prayed in his room did not realize, that the door of his room was not closed again on his return from ablution. While Mila who just finished ablution, deliberately opened a little door to her room so that she could become her husband's aunt. Ramlan was unaware of that. In between prayers, there was a sobbing sound of Ramlan's tears so overflowing. So that makes Mila dissolve in the sob. Ramlan prayed in his heart.

“Yes Allah is Oft-Forgiving, forgive all sins. Servants don't know themselves. The servant bak soiled his own soul and body with the foolishness of the servant. O God show me your way. The decision of the servant to marry is not a step of the servant to sin. But because I want to serve both parents. It feels that the knowledge that I have is wasted, because to become a family priest only I cannot. Servant knows how tormented slave wife is. What should I do, O Allah? The servant has not yet given him a bathin living which he may have been waiting for a long time. The servant did not want to be too late to hurt his tender heart. The servant has loved her hard, the servant has long waited for the gift of that taste from You for me to give it to Mila, the wife of the servant. Lead the servant O Allah. So that my worship during this time is not in vain. So that the servant does not get lost in the gray of the servant's heart. O Allah teach me to love Mila. The good Mila, the good Mila, the smart one should get a partner who can really make her happy. Forgive the servants of O Allah, for the lies of the servants to those who are happy for my marriage to Mila. For my disbelief in You, O Lord, forgive my servant. Rabbanaa aatinaa fiddunyaa hasanah, wa fil aakhirati hasanah, waqinaa ‘adzaa tires naar. Aamin Ya Robbal ‘alamin.”

Please pray that what her husband said, Allah granted SWT. Tears also washed his cheeks. What she expected was that the tears her husband shed were not the tears of grief caused by her. Mila loves Ramlan so much, that she always tries not to hurt Ramlan. Her heart was raging, but the sacred love she had was still completely reserved for her husband. Slow morning while jerking his bath. Bathin who had been incubating all this time, increasingly drowned.

“Breakfast dlu Mas!” he told Ramlan, softly.

“Iya, thank you”, Ramlan replied.

“Mas Ramlan healthy isn't it?” tanyakanya.

“Alhamdulillah healthy.”

“Then why is your face pale Mas?”

“Do not worry about me Mila! Maybe just because of lack of sleep.”

Mila smile.

“There's something I want to say Mila”, exclaimed Ramlan.

“What is Mas?”

“Next week I'm off duty”

“Bby Mila know, how long?”

“Eight months Mil.”

At that moment Mila was crying. After a bathin who screamed pain because she had not been touched by her husband's love, now Mila must accept the fact her husband will go from her perspective eight months. All this time the wounded bathin has been treated with the beauty of the eyes that are able to look at the beloved husband, the beauty was swept away because the husband had to leave for some time.

“Why are you crying Mil?”

“Quite the weight of bathin load that has been Mila pendam Mas! But a burden

it disappeared instantly when Mila got you every morning and after you came from work. For a wife, of course, it is hard to let her husband go, even for a few moments. Mila is happy to be able to marry you, Mas. Even though Mas has never touched Mila. Even though Mila often wonders how Mas feels about Mila. But Mila was always convinced that Mas loved Mila. I don't know what you're really planning. Mila just wants to always be by your side. Mila could not bear the pain of the bathin that you have not lived and now Mila has to bear it herself. Mila has lied to Mom, Dad, and Umi too often. Mila is happy, but happy like this is not the least Mila expected. If this marriage only hurts your heart, why don't you just end it? Mila just wants us to be equally happy”, said Mila in isak.

“I'm sorry Mil. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just that the love I've been waiting for isn't here yet. I hurt you and hurt both of our parents. I have tried so hard to love you. But I don't know Mil, I'm confused. I don't want to disappoint Umi and the late Abi.”

“Mas, you are my husband. A husband is not only obligated to love his wife. But also obliged to provide for his wife's birth and bathin. What burdens weigh you down? Say it! I deserve to know, we can finish together. Not like this. Which ends up aggravating one of us. Let's take this household to his path.”

“I can't give you a living bathin, because I'm afraid of hurting you Mila.”

“Hukaiku? Meaning Mas what?”

“I'm afraid, I do it only out of sheer lust, not out of love.”

“Then do it with the intention of God. Mas, everyone has asked me about my pregnancy.”

“I'm sorry Mila.”

Mila moved with deep sadness. In his mind it was empty. She really didn't want her husband to leave. In each of his prayers, he always asked that his household be happy. So that the love that has been clapping one hand is immediately embraced. The gun seems to be gone somewhere. That sadaha woman is now completely powerless. Passion and pity he always entrusts to Him.

Three days later, a bright night with the beauty of the moon and stars. Tattered with dew drops on the Sahara mountain, Mila's heart was filled with coolness. How not, the waiting sweat has been tethered. That night witnessed her love affair with her husband. Subhanallah.

>> Marriage is a lifelong commitment to love someone even though they are not worth loving, forgiving someone even though they may not be worth forgiving, to honor someone even when they are in the worst shape and to never give up against each other << (Dimas R A). Just two days later, Mila had to give up her husband's departure on duty out of town. "Be careful, my man. If there is free time, Mila please take the time to tell. Pray Mila that Mila here is strong and steadfast without you Mas" he said, smiling. "God willing Mila. Don't forget to pray for me. Hopefully by my birthday, I can improve our situation. In addition to work, I will make my trip later as a time for me to reflect. I say yes, asalamualaikum." "Waalaikumsalam", Mila answered while kissing Ramlan's hand. That morning he kept a knotty smile carved into the corners of his lips. She did not want to show sadness to her husband. His heart is hunted by destruction, but he does not want to be selfish. She knew her husband's departure on a good road. Prayers and affection are always poured out for the husband. His love eroded the pain he was carrying. The love that was only one hand clapped, had at least been slightly sulking. The beautiful night that has passed, become silent witnesses of their togetherness in the sojourn of love. "O Allah, in these tears I ask you to correct my faith and morals. Strengthen every step of the servant to seek Your pleasure. In every groan of my repentance, I beg you to forgive all my sins. Protect your husband at every step and say, O Rabb." One morning he felt a very strong nausea. So that requires him to check with the doctor. "Congratulations, Miss Mila. You are pregnant. Your gestational age has almost reached one month" the doctor told Mila. "Alhamdulillah. So I'm not sick Doc?" "No, the important thing is that Miss Mila takes a lot of rest! As well as maintaining a good diet, so that Miss Mila remains healthy and the fetus in the bladder is also healthy." "Good Doc. Thanks you! Then I'm sorry. Asalamualaikum." "Getishalight." Mila moved with sumringah. Her dream of becoming a mother will come true. Gratitude is unceasing. After four months of pregnancy, she told the happy news to her parents and in-laws. It's just a pity that she hasn't been able to tell her husband. There has been no word from Ramlan yet. He waited for Ramlan to contact him first. She did not want to disturb her husband, so she insisted on waiting for a call from her husband. The shrunken miss further put him in a corner. The corner of the soul that seems without life. In the end, he complained again. "O Allah, the Most Merciful, I look down. Wish You were the All-Giver of Life to give us a long life. So that we have a chance to improve our philosophy. Forgive our sins, O Lord. Convey this longing to touch his heart, siratkan love servant caress his heart. O Allah, make me the best woman in her heart after her mother, and make me the best mother for my child in her heart. In Thee I complain, protect us under Thy shade. Aamiin" After the prayer, Mila went to bed. But the body that he laid down, did not fall asleep. His heart continues to be pounded-gedor bud longing. Hanging in a niche. Then he took a piece of paper. Her plump fingers were so good at dancing with a pen that scratched the white paper. To Mas Ramlan whom Mila loves. Asalamualaikum.Wr.Wb, with the longing and sincerity of Mila's love for Mas Ramlan, Mila invited this pen to fill the emptiness of Mila's heart. To just pour out everything that Mila is damning in. Ramlan over there how are you? Mila really misses you. There were many things Mila could regret, but more things Mila could be grateful for here. There are many things that are not in accordance with Mila's wishes, maybe God wants Mila more hands. Mila hasn't told you that Mila is pregnant. Forgive Mila. It's not that Mila doesn't want to tell you, but Mila doesn't want to disturb your concentration. Mila's heart was so flowery when Mila found out that Mila was pregnant. Mila doesn't feel so lonely anymore. At least our son is accompanying Mila. Although she was not yet born in the world, but Mila already felt her presence. Mila is so happy. Two more weeks is exactly 7 months of age Mila. Doesn't feel, does it? You have also left me for 7 months. Mila can't wait another month to see you again. The plan, Father, Mother, and Umi will hold a seven-month anniversary of Mila's pregnancy. How much happier Mila would be if Mas was also on Mila's side. But once again God wanted Mila to be more patient. Pray, Mas, so that the event runs smoothly pray also that our children will become righteous children, and devoted to both parents. Mila really loves you. Like a long dream, Mila would love to hear you say those words to me. Even if only once in a lifetime Mila Mas said it, it was enough to make Mila's heart shady. I really love you, Mom. So wonderful is this gift that He gave to Mila. So that Mila will keep him until the end of Mila's life. Even Mila wants to capture this taste to Heaven. Insha'allah. Mila thought it was enough that Mila carved this sheet of paper. It feels like this moment is also anchored on your shoulder. May this miss be conveyed to you. Mila pamit Mas's. Wassalaminet.Wr.Wb. The wife who loves you, who is helplessly weak, Mila Milapun folds a piece of paper and then keeps it in her bedside drawer. Exactly eight months Ramlan's been out of town. "Alhamdulillah. I finally got back to my wife and family today. It feels like being locked up in a prison. Mila, I'm sorry I didn't get to call you. But today I promise I'll call you, I promise Mila" Ramlan murmured. With the spirit of Ramlan took the phone that has been held by the company, because during work all employees really should not hold any communication tools. But many times Ramlan called his wife, not once was there an answer. "Mila, please pick up my phone!" he said he looked worried, "Ah maybe Mila is not at home and forgot to bring her phone. I'd better pack it now. I can't wait to see him" Ramlan murmured again. Ramlan also took the time to buy Mila's favorite snack as a hand. Arriving home, "Asalamualaikum!" Many times Ramlan said a greeting but there was not a single reply from Mila. He looked throughout the room and could not find his wife. Then he went to Mila's room. Look at the situation inside. Yeah, deserted! Silent and silent. Until finally he found a piece of paper filled with the writing of Mila in a drawer. Ramlan suddenly drowned in sobs while reading the writing. He repeatedly said Istighfar and apologized to Mila. "Astaghfirullahaladhim's chat. I'm sorry Mila, I'm sorry! I promise from this moment on I will no longer waste your love. I'm sorry Mila! Where are you?" Ramlan dissolves in sedu, then rushes to contact Mila's parents. From Mila's parents, he heard that his wife was lying in the hospital and was about to give birth. Ramlan immediately went to the hospital. Arriving at the hospital. "Asalamualaikum", hail Ramlam. "Waalaikumsalam", replied Father, Mother, and Umi simultaneously. "How's Mila doing?" tanyakanya. Suddenly the doctor came out of the room. "Congratulations! The baby is a boy" the doctor said. "Alhamdulillah" they said in unison. "It's best if you want to prosecute, now! The baby is being cleaned, then it will be taken to the incubator immediately, because the baby was born prematurely." "Then how is my wife Doc?" "Mam Mila's condition is very weak. He's bleeding heavily." On their faces were joy and sorrow. Ramlan immediately accuses the baby and approaches Mila. "Mila, you hear me? I'm coming home Mila. Now I am by your side" said Ramlan. Mila can only open her eyes. His gaze was weak towards Ramlan. While occasionally trying to strengthen themselves by smiling. "Come, don't worry and be sad. Verily Allah is the third of the two of us", Ramlan clasped the hand of Mila, "Don't stop being patient Mila, indeed Allah is with the patient. God does not sleep and hears all the signs. He always answered your prayers, so pray a lot Mila! I'm next to you. I love you so much", Ramlan's getting no tears at all, "Mila, I love you." But it turned out that those words were really only once Mila heard. God was so dear to him that He wanted Mila to quickly return to His side. "Inalillaahiwainailaihiraji’un. Mila, I love you" said Ramlan. Arrival is not lost with departure. Mila's love quotes lead her to the end of twilight. The atmosphere instantly became dark. Sadness was so on their faces. Mila the gentle heart, the righteous, the beautiful, the authoritative, patient and gracious have left in peace. He takes and leaves love. But his departure etched a deep sorrow in the heart that loved him. A piece of the story of a true woman who peddles and waits for love until the end of her life. Subhanallah. Nothing is perfect. If someone understands and loves us for who we are, understand and love him the opposite way because we and he deserve to be together. Do not swear from someone who is showing the meaning of love, because we will regret and feel lost when he leaves us.