Love Me Because of God

Love in His Destiny

“Aisyah..” Call someone whose man is no stranger to me. I looked back with a warm smile that I offered just for her.

“When do you come back here?” ask the man, Fadhil. He looked at me with hopeful eyes. But I immediately closed that view by saying Istigfar. I don't want to add to my bad charity record just for staring at something that's not my faith.

“Hey, aisyah.” said again, awakening my daydreams.

“Oh ehm.. I don't know Fad, maybe I'm not coming back here. Why?” I answered nervously, then turned my face towards the little boy who was playing ball

At first I saw the look on Fadhil's face that turned moody. I felt sorry to see him, and tried to ask him something, “Fadhil, are you having any problems?” my many.

Fadhil seemed silent. His view looks empty. Before long, he breathed heavily. “Ayesha, I love you. And the trouble I'm gonna face, I gotta lose you. I don't know how long or maybe forever.” he said trembling while shedding some tears that hastily wiped him. Maybe he doesn't want to look like a whiny man in front of me. Because all this time, he always looked neat, polite and also very guarded when talking to me.

I don't know why his words were so touching. Though he has repeatedly expressed his love for me, but only this time his words were able to knock the bottom of my heart. Yep! I feel like I've spoken countless times of love to him. But I always cut myself off. I always say to be consistent not wanting to date. In addition to violating religious laws, courtship must also spend a lot of money. While I want to focus more on living my High School so that I can get a scholarship in college. And I also have to set aside my money for the purpose of getting into that college.

Even though I have more feelings for him. But, I just want to prove that my faith is stronger than smirking lust.

The atmosphere was silent for a moment until Fadhil dismissed this silence.

“But Aisyah, if this is your dream. Chase it! you deserve better than to sacrifice love.” Next stuns.

It was as if his words had turned into a spiritual flush that was so easy to get into the heart. He rarely spoke like an angel like this. Or maybe I don't know him very well.

I turned my gaze to the sky, looking for the remnants of the twilight light that still enveloped the sky this afternoon. The chirping of birds also began to lightly welcome the arrival of the afternoon. What a beautiful creation you have, O God. Just as beautiful as you create human beings who live in pairs.

”Fadhil, everyone who has ambitions must want to make it happen. There is no one who allows his ideals to be erased by the waves and carried away by the ocean currents. I'm sure you are too. And when God has predestined us to mate, surely one day we will be reunited by Him. Believe me fadhil.” I said ending the conversation that occurred about 3 years ago. Yep! I still remember, even every detail of his movements was still beautifully painted in my memory. His smile never seemed to be erased by time. I miss her. Yeah, I miss him.

The evening began to come. The breeze that had started to cool felt more and more piercing my skin. For some reason, the evening always paints a joy filled with sadness. Sad because the king of the day has gone with his beautiful light and happy because ‘kan come night decorated with twinkling starlight and moon that is always the prima donna of night. Maybe because the evening has its own memories.

Before long, there was the sound of adzan maghrib so softly shaking in my ears. I swiftly diverted my gaze from the mystery of the evening and I accelerated my steps to take the water of ablution which always listened to the soul.

I spread the prayer towards His Qibla and began this Maghrib prayer with great solemnity, in order to hope for His riddho and mercy. My heart feels more at peace than ever, what a wonderful grace I have felt. Now, I raise my hands in hope.

“Yes Allah.. Thank you for Your grace and compassion that you have bestowed upon your servant. Yes Robb, you are the One who knows everything. You also know who the priest will lead the family of the servant. Is it Robb? Who always comes infiltrating through these lonely cavities in the heart? I can only hope. But don't let this love grow too deep in her. But you are the one who knows who is best for you. Whoever he is, always take care of him. Perfect his will, so that he can lead the servant to your heaven. Aamiin”

I set foot on the asphalt road that had been sun-dried all day by the scorching sun. Tracing the twists of the road full of noise from the sound of vehicles passing by.

A cool breeze accompanied me who was sitting glued to the bottom of the mahogany tree. Yep! Stifled in solitude that increasingly stifles the chest. I picked up a diary book neatly tucked away in my bag. And I have longed for the figure of the man who will be my priest. I want to quickly meet him. O Allah, open the heart of your servant. I'm sure you must have the best way to get the servant to him.

Before long, I closed the diary, looking up at the star-studded night sky with its flickering light. I was so full of looking at him. Without me noticing, the figure of the man who seemed familiar to me was already sitting next to me. I don't know when he was there. Did he hear my heart cursing at the Khalik? Does he know my heart? Oh, never mind, he has no business with me anyway. But, who is it? I seem to know him very well.

I still try to remember his face while continuing to pay attention to him who had been silent earlier, staring closely at the cellphone screen that he held tightly. I want to feel what it is that is still glued. But it seems that this guts is smaller than I want. “a..a” Dad! Why is my tongue turning into a mute? My mouth was locked by such a powerful padlock. I don't know why my heart rate changed, beating faster than ever before. It turned out that the one next to me earlier, was Fadhil. Oho! The person I never thought I would see again, the person I had longed for, the one I had dreamed of becoming a priest in my family. I can't believe I can see him again.

“Aisyah.”

“Fadhil.”

“Aisyah, is this really you?”

“Yes it's me, Aisyah. Your friend first.”

“Aisyah, I did not expect to see you again here.” said Fadhil with similar mimic when I was still in Bandung, a boarding house with him.

“I'm also Fadhil. It feels like a dream.” Reply. ‘dreams that become real’ I continued in my heart

Fadhil and I continued that conversation. But the night came sooner. I ended the conversation, afraid that it would be a slander if it was late at night still talking together and we promised to meet again tomorrow in this park.

—

I will not forget that promise. But, why hasn't Fadhil come yet? Did he forget? I waited 1 hour. Not usually Fadhil like this, late to come to an agreement. With a heart so disappointed, I finally left the garden because soon the Maghrib Adhan will reverberate, filling the contents of the bowels of the earth.

Before I go any further, I take the time to look back at who knew Fadhil had come there. But when I threw my gaze toward the seat in the garden, there was no one. Not even people who pass by do not exist. The park looked empty. Like an uninhabited dead place.

And finally I continued my steps that had stopped earlier. While trying to eliminate negative thoughts that increasingly attack my common sense.

—

“Sorry Aisyah, yesterday I couldn't come. I really have important business, so I didn't get to tell you. Are you mad at me?“

I just cleared my throat while smiling in front of him. I was really disappointed by yesterday's incident. But that's okay, I just want to take the wisdom of every incident.

“Oh yes Aisyah, actually there is something I want to say to you.” said Fadhil in a slightly raised tone and looked blankly at the neatly arranged rocks on the left side of this park.

“What is it?” ask me fast

“Lusa, I will hold a marriage contract.” replied Fadhil flatly.

I immediately ducked weakly after hearing that, as if I could not believe the new sentence he said. My dreams seemed to be shattered instantly. The piece of hope I had was also slowly moving away from my hope. I don't understand why Takdri should say this. Totally inversely proportional to all the dreams I have perfectly carved.

But strangely, I did not see his usual happy face if everyone would perform a very sacred ceremony while living. Yes, wedding. Either this is just me thinking or it's true.

“Why are you congratulating me?” ask Fadhil who I really don't understand what the question means.

“Means?”

“Iya. Don't you have more taste with me? I did too, Aisyah. I really don't know, why must this matchmaking be our love separator.” Fadhil said so seriously. His face was also grim with confused feelings mixed with anxiety. Implies his heart is riled up erratically.

I looked at him in confusion, trying to digest every word that came out of his lips. Is it possible, Fadhil still has a taste that I left 3 years ago?

“What are you.”

“Yes! I still love you. Even this sense does not diminish in the slightest from the passage of time that has separated us.”

My words were cut by him. But, he seemed to be a fortune teller who was able to know the meaning of my question even though I had not been able to say it.

“But Fadhil, you've been betrothed to another woman who may be more right for you and your life.”

“No.” answered so quickly that it almost cut my words again. “For me, you are the best for me and my life, Aisyah.”

“Fadhil. Life is a reality not a fantasy. Maybe this is the way God tells us that we are actually not fooled.” I said resigned to the destiny that has already reversed the direction of my love dreams.

“Aisyah, why are you doing this? Throw away all your negative thoughts. Do you not see that this is a trial that God deliberately gave to test our love?”

“Testing with a wedding so sacred and sacred?” I asked myself which I did not know, where the words came from.

Fadhil seemed silent, maybe he was also digesting the sentence I accidentally said earlier.

“But aisyah.” her words intercepted back. Maybe his brain is thinking hard to find the answer.

“Already Fadhil. I don't need that answer. Look ahead. Look at! There will be a light there that leads you to the room of happiness. Follow the words of your parents. Remember, if God's Ridho depended on parents' ridho? Yes, that's the answer to your wait so far.” obviously I'm at length.

I don't know why I could say all that loud to Fadhil. And yet, deep down in my heart, in my dreams, I was so fragile. Am I a hypocrite? Am I always dreaming, for fear of facing reality? O Allah forgive your servant. Who cannot live the destiny you have set.

—

Today with such a heavy step, I took the time to come to the wedding ceremony of Fadhil and Nuraisha. Yes, her name is Nuraisha. A girl who would later become Fadhil's wife. Her name is so beautiful. So too when I look at the photo shown by Fadhil. A figure that seems so perfect. Especially because he has been performing Hajj at a fairly young age. He also has a boarding house in his own name. Great right? Unmistakably, Fadhil's parents chose Nuraisha to be Fadhil's life companion.

Time passed so fast that I did not know how much time I had spent in vain. Waiting for someone who finally belongs to someone else. But what power, I can't change destiny. I can only scoop him up. I know God, you know best who is the best mate for the servant. I leave my soul mate life and death only to You.

The clock kept turning. I've been sitting here, too. Watching Fadhil take care of other women and it's not me. I have to be sincere. I have to be tough.

Suddenly there was a cell phone ringing. It appears to be the voice of Fadhil's cell phone. Quickly, Fadhil raised the call with his soft voice.

I don't know what he just talked about. All I know is that her face changed instantly. Like someone who just heard bad news.

My guess is correct. Yep. Nuraisha had an accident while traveling here. I went with Fadhil and his entourage to visit Nuraisha at the hospital.

This time I saw Nuraisha's face for the first time. But baby, I saw his face when his life was taken by the almighty. I don't know for sure what really happened. I just know, he had a huge hemorrhage in his brain that resulted in his life could not be helped back.

Everyone who was here had already dissolved into grief. How not? He died while he was about to get married. And marriage itself is the moment most awaited by mankind because it is only done once in a lifetime. So holy, and one of the sunnah of the prophet.

But, again this has become his destiny line. Man cannot change, man can only accept it with a sincere heart.

Fadhil's face looked so anxious and tired. Perhaps he still could not accept the departure of his future wife.

I tried to get to Fadhil. “Sabar by Fadhil. In every incident there must be a silver lining.” I said

“Iya, Ayesha. I know, behind the pain there must be happiness contained in it. What I do not understand, why destiny must divert the path of my love for the second time.” reply still with his face of his thin

“Fadhil, you must not be bad to think of Allah. You must be sure that God has devised the most beautiful plan for you.”

“Yes I'm sure. Thank you Aisyah, for convincing me.” Fadhil said with a smile that he warmly threw.

—

The sky has shown the charm of the king of the day that can dazzle the eyes. The birds formed a beautiful formation. The wind was unceasingly blowing to carry a handful of fresh air. All are glorified, praising the majesty of God who created them all by his wonders.

For some reason these last days, I'm getting closer to Fadhil. The dreams also seemed to be knitted back with the remnants of the thread and then began to be fragile. I don't know what plan Khalik is putting in place for my love. I can only leave this to Him.

“Aisyah, how was your lecture?” ask Fadhil who is sitting in the park with me

“Alhamdulillah good Fad. You how? ” reply

“Alhamdulillah I am also good. Emm.. Aisyah, do you mind if we start our love story all over again?” it was her asking that made me so happy.

I just nodded slowly. It feels like my dreams are getting stronger to be real. Yes Robb is this your fateful path to my love story? I really didn't expect. So beautiful is your destiny.

Now Fadhil and I have become enthused. And jum’at tomorrow insyaallah we will hold a marriage contract. Yeah, the moment I've been waiting for the most all my life. My dreams are real. All this time it turns out that God always hears my’do prayer. Thanks Robb for all this. Forgive me for giving up on the fateful path you have set. But it turns out, behind it all you have prepared a wonderful surprise for your servant.